Episode 4: The Secret Fast

Bethany Beale: In this season of The Deep Well, we’ve been talking about feasting and fasting. Erin, did you grow up familiar with fasting?

Erin Davis: I did not. I grew up more familiar with dieting. My mom, I mean, there were times when she didn’t eat, but it was always for weight loss. I’m not throwing her under the bus. She and I have talked about this many times before. But I can’t remember our family ever fasting. I can’t remember ever hearing about it in church. I don’t really have any context for it until I became an adult.

What about you, Bethany? Did you grow up fasting?

Bethany: Interestingly enough, yes. I come from a family with eight kids, and my parents really did an undertaking by helping us fast. It was very small, though; we would do it for a meal. Honestly, I can remember them explaining the purpose and the reason behind it, but I really mostly remember having a bad attitude about it.

Erin: Yes.

Bethany: So, having this conversation with you is a good reminder and helpful: Oh, there is a good purpose for fasting.

Erin: I super admire your parents for trying that. I think my children would feel like I was torturing them. But I find that very admirable.

Bethany: This is The Deep Well with Erin Davis. Throughout the Bible we see how God calls His people to times of fasting and times of feasting. Erin is helping us search the Scriptures and get the right balance.

Here she is, talking about the secret fast.

Erin: Let me give you a quick tip based on personal experience. If you want to kill a conversation, bring up fasting. Things get really awkward really quickly. I mean, think about it. When was the last time you had a conversation with another follower of Jesus about fasting? When was the last time you heard a sermon about fasting? What would be your gut reaction if someone posted on their social media feed that they were fasting and praying? I think most of us would think that was kind of weird. We don’t talk about fasting much, and we sure don’t feel very comfortable bringing it up. If we are the ones fasting, especially, we don’t want to talk about it.

I had that hesitation myself, even prepping for this podcast season, because I see the theme of fasting all over my Bible. Because God has used fasting to make me more like Him, I do want to talk about it. But I also feel a little funny talking about it, especially in the first person in terms of talking about my own personal fasting rhythms.

When it comes to conversations about fasting, it seems that we’ve developed a collective nervous tic. Despite the fact that, as I’ve said, fasting is all over our Bibles (in fact, it’s mentioned more than a hundred times in Scripture), the topic often feels off-limits, or at least foreign in our modern faith circles. Here’s the question for us in this episode: Does it have to be that way? Should we have this collective aversion to talking about fasting? Should it make us all feel weird when we talk about it?

I have a hunch that we can bring this phenomenon of not talking about fasting or feeling awkward about fasting to our understanding of Matthew chapter 6. Let’s read Matthew 6:16–18, and for context, this is part of Jesus’ teaching we often call the Sermon on the Mount. But I’m on a quest to have it rebranded as the greatest sermon of all time, because it really is. Jesus gave us so much insight into who He is, His character, and how He made us to live in this sermon, the greatest sermon of all time. I think it’s interesting that He included the subject of fasting. I’m going to read us Matthew 6:16–18.

And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces, that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others, but by your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

Okay, let’s get out our hermeneutical shovels and really dig here. What did Jesus really say in these few verses, and what did Jesus really not say about fasting?

The first thing that jumps out to me is the first four words: “And when you fast . . .” Let me say them again; I’ll put the emphasis where I want you to hear it. “And when you fast . . .”

Now, all Scripture is God-breathed, it’s all useful for our instruction, including that little word “when.” For Jesus, fasting is an assumed discipline for those who follow Him. To be sure, there’s some cultural context here. The Jewish listeners who were hearing Jesus preach this sermon would have fasted regularly as part of their observation of the law we find in the Old Testament. So, “when you fast” is the right approach for the original hearers, because they likely fasted regularly.

But since God doesn’t change and Scripture doesn’t change, I think that that “when” is worth paying attention to, even for those of us who were not on the mountain that day and didn’t grow up as Jews like the original hearers. Jesus preached this powerful sermon knowing, of course (because He knows everything), that someday we were going to read it in our Bibles, and we were going to have to decide what He meant for us.

What does Jesus’ assumption that His listeners would be people who fast show you about Him? That’s always the right first question to ask of Scripture. And what does it tell you about how He calls you to live? I’ll leave that there, between you and the Holy Spirit.

I do want to move on to the other fasting instructions Jesus gave in this passage. Did you catch them? Put oil on your head and wash your face.

Now, as you’re reading that, He’s giving us hygiene tips in the context of fasting, in the context of this great sermon about the Christian life. That might feel disconnected from your own questions. I know you; you’re like me. You have lots of practical questions. “Okay, God, I can get on board with the fact that fasting is something You included in Scripture. I can get on board with the fact that fasting might be something You’re calling me to do, but how? Where do I start? When do I start? How long do I fast? What do I eat? What do I not eat?” And Jesus is talking about washing your face and putting oil on your head!

I want you to take note here. Jesus was advocating for scrubbed hearts way more than He was advocating for clean faces. How do I know that? Well, because that’s always what He’s doing. That’s what I see when I read my whole Bible. First Samuel 16:7 comes to mind. That’s the anointing of David as king, and it’s pretty overt about what God is looking for when He looks at us. “For the Lord sees not as man sees. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”

Jesus is giving outward-appearance instructions, but I don’t think Jesus’ primary concern is, “Are their faces clean? Are their heads oily?” When we look at Scripture, we have to look at it through the lens of what we know of God’s character, and what we know about God’s character in this case helps us see that Jesus isn’t going to do a cleanliness check before we fast. He’s not looking at our heads and faces again and going, “Yes, she’s all good.” No, this is about practical ways to show our inward, our heart desire to honor God with our fast in an outward way.

If you study fasting in your whole Bible, you’ll see that not every fast is a God-honoring fast. It’s probably because I’ve been writing and teaching so much about fasting and the algorithms have been listening, my social media feed is filled right now with ads about intermittent fasting to lose weight. Now, that kind of fasting does have health benefits. I have a friend who feels like fasting really helped her in a recent battle with cancer, to which I think, Of course it does. Anything that God asks us to do is for our good, so when the diet and exercise industries are saying, “We discovered this new thing and it’s really good for us,” I’m like, Yes, the Bible’s been telling us to do that for a really long time.

But that’s not the kind of fasting I’m talking about here; not a fast just to lose weight or just because you’re fighting a medical battle. I don’t think it’s the kind of fast that Jesus was talking about in Matthew 6, which is a fast for the purpose of hearing from God, a fast for the purpose of seeing Him move in an area of our lives where we feel desperate. It’s a fast for the purpose of dedicating ourselves to Him more fully, a fast for the purpose of being more like Jesus. That’s the kind of fast we want. We want a God-honoring fast.

In Matthew 6 Jesus called out the hypocrites. Listen to it again. “And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites.” He was frustrated, and expressing that frustration, that those who use fasting as a way to get attention from others are not the kind of people He is calling us to be. They made themselves look terrible on purpose. When they were in public they made sure they had gloomy, dirty faces, that their frown was evident, that they looked sad, so that everyone could see something was wrong and point it out. They broadcast the hardship of their fast in the hopes that someone would notice.

As I was reading this passage again, I thought, They were spiritual hypochondriacs! They were finding ways to look and be miserable so that somebody would pay attention to them. Their goal was not for God to notice, their goal was not for them to be more humble. Their goal was for someone to ask them, “What’s wrong?” so that they could toss out a humble brag, “Oh, I’m just fasting.”

The heart attitude here is not, I need Jesus desperately, the heart attitude here is, Look how deeply spiritual I am! But the Lord looks at the heart, and that’s because it’s out of our hearts that all of our actions flow. The action is the effect, not the cause. If our actions indicate we want attention for being good, for being spiritual, for being righteous, the issue isn’t really what we say. The issue isn’t really how our faces look. The issue is our pride. God opposes the proud. A fast rooted in pride is not a fast that honors God.

The kind of fasting that Jesus calls us to is the kind of fasting that is ultimately a step of humility and surrender to the Lord. As we see here in Matthew 6 (and we’ll find it in other places of our Bibles, too, that mention fasting), fasting with wrong motives is not pleasing to the Lord. What I see in my Bible is He’d rather us not fast at all if we’re going to fast to draw attention to ourselves. Just like doing any of the other spiritual disciplines for personal gain is not pleasing to Him, because were made to live for God’s glory, not for our glory.

But through His Word, God gives us an alternative. He says to us in lots of different verses, in lots of different ways, “Turn your heart Godward, toward the right object of your attention, not manward, seeking applause from others.”

But what about this secret business? This passage does use that word “secret” in a couple of places. I’m going to read verse 18 to you again. Pay attention for that word: “. . . that your fasting may not be seen by others, but by your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.”

I’m going to read it again, slowly and more carefully this time, and as I do I want you to wrestle with this: What was Jesus really saying about the part of fasting that is secret? “. . . that your fasting may not be seen by others, but by your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” It’s not the fast that Jesus asked us to keep secret, it is the Father who’s hidden from us for now. 

For far too long I’m afraid that our aversion to talking about fasting has led to an aversion to fasting itself. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve met who’ve told me, “I’ve never fasted. I don’t know anything about fasting,” or “I don’t know anyone who fasts.” I’m not talking about people who don’t know Jesus, I’m talking about people who know Jesus, who know His Word, have come to the passages in their Bible about fasting and, I don’t know, skipped over them and decided they don’t apply to us anymore.

Well, I’m of the opinion that if Jesus talked about it, so should we, and that if Jesus fasted, so should we. Certainly, if you’re going to fast, don’t brag about it. If you’re going to do anything for Jesus, don’t brag about it. If you do, repent, believe the gospel, and try again. But one of my hopes for this season of The Deep Well is that we just put the subject on the table.

It’s time for myth busters, fasting edition. Jesus never told us to pursue strictly secret fasts. In fact, as we look at all that the Bible says about fasting, we have to come to the conclusion that that would be impossible, because so much of His Word calls God’s people to fast together in observable ways. We’re to fast and mourn together, to fast and wear sackcloth and ashes together. If we’re doing it together and everybody knows that the other people are fasting, then there’s no way for fasting to be only done in secret.

What Jesus did encourage us to do is to always seek strictly secret rewards, the kind of rewards that people can never give us, the kind of gifts that the Father who is hidden from us just for now, but who sees everything we do in public and in private. When we fast, Jesus’ intent is that we would seek the rewards that the Father gives so generously.

Let me pray.

Jesus, we love You, and You love us, and yet, because we’re sinners, we are so prone to seek the approval of man, the affirmation of man, the applause of man, and it just doesn’t work with fasting. So, I pray for every woman listening to this podcast season right now, every eardrum that these words are reverberating in, Lord, that the heart commitment we would make is to do everything for Your glory, not for man’s applause, maybe including fasting. In Your name I pray, amen.

Erin Unscripted

Bethany: Erin has been helping us to understand fasting not as a series of rules but as a matter of our hearts toward God. Let’s dig into some of the practical aspects of this.

This passage you camped on and that you really unpacked in Matthew 6, you talked about not looking like the hypocrites with the gloomy faces and all of that. How can we go about fasting and not be a hypocrite? Should we not tell anyone? Should we be completely to ourselves? How do we approach that? Is it okay to tell people? I feel a little confused on that.

Erin: I think, from what I see in Scripture, it’s okay to tell people.

Bethany: Okay.

Erin: Now, don’t go stand out on a street corner and be like, “I’m fasting; everybody look at me! Everybody look at me; I’m fasting!” Or maybe our more modern version is social media. I think it’s okay to tell people; in fact, I think you need to tell people. I have four little boys at home. When I fast I don’t feel like I should hide that from them. I think they should know what’s going on. So I’ll say, “Mommy’s fasting, and this is why.” I think they’re pretty used to that rhythm from me at this point. I’ve never asked them to do it; that’s an interesting idea from your own family.

I don’t think it’s necessarily something we broadcast, but I definitely think it’s something that we can talk about.

I’ve undertaken a couple of really long fasts, and I had to tell people, because I needed prayer support. I needed accountability; I needed someone to just encourage me along the way. If I had kept that a total secret—first of all, people would have noticed. Second of all, I would have missed this opportunity to have people join me in the discipline. I definitely think it’s okay to tell, I don’t think it’s forbidden in Scripture, but just be careful how you tell and who you tell.

Just as I shared about those women where I have grown in this area because they shared with me their own fasts—that’s what we do for each other. You might be just encouraging someone to look at this idea for themselves, and if you keep it all to yourself, how are they ever going to know that this is a part of your life?

Bethany: That’s so true. I think some of us feel worried; we don’t want to be hypocrites. In our modern day, we might not do the big gloomy everything, but how do we know if we’re being a hypocrite when we’re fasting?

Erin: Well, news flash, you are. I mean, we just all are hypocrites.

Bethany: That’s freeing! Okay, yes!

Erin: When people say the church is full of hypocrites, I’m like, “Yes! You get us. We are.” We are broken.

Fasting is not a sign that you are spiritual mature, necessarily, and it certainly isn’t a sign that you’ve been liberated from your sin nature. I have had women say, “I just get really hungry and grumpy!” I’m like, “Guess what? You were grumpy before, and the fast just exposed it!”

Don’t expect to come into some transcendent state where you don’t sin when you fast. But the hypocrites Jesus is talking about here, I don’t know that they took any ownership of that. We say, “Yes, I need Jesus. I mess up all the time. I sin all the time, and it’s because of Him that I can have redemption from any of that.” It just always comes back to the heart.

Erin: To correlate it with another passage, Jesus always told us to pray in secret. I know some people have taken that so literally that they have a prayer closet, and I love that. But Jesus never said, “Never pray together.” Everything about fasting that I can see in my Bible is not mandated, it’s an invitation to participate. So yes, He did tell us to not draw attention to ourselves in a way that is hypocritical, but He never said, “Never tell anybody about your fast.” We want those hard lines, I understand it, but just because He gives us one way to do it doesn’t mean every other way is against His will.

Bethany: Totally. You know, I have a hesitance sometimes about fasting because I get really bad migraines. When I don’t eat they just come on. I know we probably have people who feel like, “Okay, do I have to go days at a time? How can this work?” If I’m just like, “Okay, great, I’m going to fast and then I’m going to be in bed for three days with a migraine.” That’s being totally honest. I feel like other women probably have that same question. So what do we do if we’re a little bit afraid?

Erin: Absolutely, and that’s a hundred percent legitimate. There are real medical reasons not to take on a forty-day fast.

It is an exercise in self-denial. If you’re just like, “Oh, that’s uncomfortable, I’m not going to do it,” I’d press you on that. But I think there are endless ways to adapt this. I mean, people talk about the Daniel fast, and that is a place where Daniel said, “I’m not going to eat the king’s food. I’m going to eat vegetables and fruit.” That’s an adaptation.

There was another time when Daniel fasted, and he said, “I ate no pleasant food.” In other words, “I’m not going to eat anything delectable, anything yummy. I’m going to pass on the pie and the ice cream.” (He didn’t have that, of course.) “I’m just going to eat to survive.” That’s a version of a fast.

There are endless adaptabilities. The self-denial is required. I think food being involved is required when we’re talking about a biblical fast, and the prayer is required. But in-between those guardrails you have a tremendous amount of freedom.

Bethany: That’s super, super helpful.

I also think sometimes we’re like, “If I don’t feel like doing this, then I probably shouldn’t do it, because I’m just going to be a hypocrite again.” Is it okay to obey God and fast because He commands us to and we’ve been learning so much about it in this series? Can we do it even if we don’t feel like it, like we don’t feel like our heart is in the right place? Is it okay to take those steps if our heart’s not in it?

Erin: I don’t think you’re going to feel like it. I don’t think you are at the beginning. I mean, this is contrary to the way that we are wired. We are wired to be food seekers for survival, and then you’re going to flip the switch on that wiring and say, “No, I’m just not going to eat for a determined amount of time”? It absolutely takes discipline, and it absolutely is a step of obedience.

I will say, the more I fast and the more I’ve seen God work through this discipline, which again is a gift He gives us, not a command He forces upon us, but the more I’ve seen Him work the more I’m like, “When can I fast again? When can I implement this discipline?” I long for it in ways, and the Lord has changed my heart incrementally. But I also do want to back out. If I have ten days set aside, “I’m going to fast these ten days.” The day before that I’m like, “Uh, maybe I didn’t hear from the Lord on that. Maybe I’m not going to do that.”

Bethany: “I heard wrong on that one!”

Erin: Yes, that wrestling, I think, is part of it.

Bethany: One question that came to my mind as you were talking . . . You mentioned multiple times (because this passage says it), “and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” That word “reward,” what does that mean? What does “He will reward you” mean? Am I going to get these blessings flying from heaven? What are we talking about?

Erin: Yes, great question. I don’t know all that it means. I mean, He’s comparing and contrasting the hypocrites with those of us who fast in the way He’s calling us to, and He said the hypocrites got their reward.

All I can discern from the text is that the reward the hypocrites wanted was to be acknowledged by man, and they got that, and that’s what they’re going to get. And the reward that those of us who are trying to walk out what we see here in Scripture, we don’t care about that reward. It’s meaningless to us. The reward we want is to be seen by God, to be heard by God, to experience His movement in our lives, to see those chains we’ve been talking about fall off. We want God to do something, and I think that’s the reward.

It probably varies greatly, and God’s rewards are endless. Some of the rewards we get from God we don’t get till heaven. So, it doesn’t mean a gift box falls down from heaven with your name on it, but it means you’re going to get what you seek. If you’re seeking approval of man that’s what you’re going to get, and that turns out to be really shallow and doesn’t sustain us very long; and if you’re seeking from the Lord, that’s what you’re going to get.

Bethany: That’s awesome.

I feel like as you were talking this whole idea of bringing up the conversation and making it a little bit more normal to talk about. I mean, you’ve said so many churches don’t talk about this, so many Christians don’t talk about this, we don’t even do it at all. How can we start to bring these conversations up amongst our family, amongst our friends in a way that doesn’t come across as prideful? This is just a hard topic to approach, so how do we take those steps?

Erin: It really is, and I just think that’s our culture. I don’t think it’s hard for everybody in every culture throughout time. We just have a weirdness about it.

I would just start small. If you begin fasting or you begin praying about fasting or thinking about fasting, I’d just start with your inner circle of Christian friends. “Hey, have you ever fasted? I’m learning a lot about it and I’m curious about it. What do you know about it?” or “I’ve decided I’m going to fast this Friday. I don’t know what that means, I feel sort of out of control about it. Would you just pray for me on Friday as I begin this journey, that I would keep my commitment to the Lord?”

We’re going to talk in a future episode about the value and importance of making a vow to the Lord, and if you’re going to make a vow you have to keep that vow. We can’t do that in our own strength.

You know, with your husband, with your kids, “I just decided . . . I’m learning a lot about this thing. It’s in my Bible, and I’m just going to try it. Would you want to try it with me? Do you have questions about it?”

Just the same way that we would talk about anything. I wouldn’t stand up in church and say, “We shall have a corporate fast!” That’s probably on the shoulders of your spiritual leaders. But just talk about it the same way you talk about other things that God is showing and doing in your life.

Bethany: Just more normalizing the conversation and not making it a big, awkward, “Well, today I was learning . . .” It’s just like, “Hey, what do you think about this?” Even asking them, “I read this passage,” or “I was listening to The Deep Well. You should listen to this episode and tell me what you think. Is this something you think we should consider?” I’m speaking from personal conviction here, because this is something that I really haven’t done, honestly, in a few years. It’s not because I don’t want to, it just hasn’t been at the front of my mind.

Erin: Yes.

Bethany: So, I feel like this conversation that we’re having is huge.

I’m going to have to get your devotional, because I feel like that would be a helpful step. Do you think that Fasting and Feasting, your new forty-day devotional, would be something helpful to deepen our understanding of this topic?

Erin: Yes. I’m going to tell you my secret agenda (since we’re talking about secrets). I feel like we are in such an era where God’s people need to be mobilized to pray. As I dream about what could happen if we had those moments, like we see in the Old Testament, where God’s people were so desperate for their need that they came together, and they fasted, and they cried out, and every time, without fail, God moved.

So, I’ve wanted to mobilize God’s people, God’s women, to fast and pray for a long time. Because of some of the things we’re talking about here, because it’s hard to talk about, and because it’s hard to talk about with humility, I thought, I don’t know that I can come at this straightforwardly.

But what if we talked about fasting and feasting together? What if people spent forty days exploring this topic and then responded however the Lord leads? My hope is absolutely that you would grab the devotional and that at the end of that maybe your food rhythms stay the same, maybe they don’t, but you have this stirring inside of you to join with the people of God in fasting and praying to see God move.

Bethany: To get a copy of Erin’s book, visit ReviveOurHearts.com/TheDeepWell. Again, that’s ReviveOurHearts.com/TheDeepWell. That’s actually also where you can hear past episodes of this podcast.

Erin: Yes, and when you visit ReviveOurHearts.com, you can also check out all the rest of the Revive Our Hearts podcast family. I’m just one of the sisters! There’s Expect Something Beautiful with Laura Booz; there’s the Grounded podcast with my friends Dannah Gresh, Portia Collins, and myself; and of course, there’s our big sister podcast, Revive Our Hearts, with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.

Bethany: One super unique thing about The Deep Well is that we release all the episodes at once, so you can binge-listen to everything. Erin, what will people hear on the next episode?

Erin: Well, we just talked about fasting, so that means we’re about to talk about feasting, and I call this next episode, “The Tiger in a Box.”

The Deep Well with Erin Davis is a production of Revive Our Hearts, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

*Offers available only during the broadcast of the podcast season.