The Beauty of Praying for Others

This program contains portions from the following episodes:

"The Powerful Work of Intercession"

"Your Prayer and God's Power, Day 1"

"A Beautiful Way to Love"

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Dannah Gresh: One time I was having breakfast with my niece, Rebecca. She wanted to talk to me about a concern she had on her heart for the students in her Christian high school, which happens to be the school that my husband and I founded years ago. Well, as we munched on our omelets and sipped our hot tea, we discovered that we shared the same burden, to see revival in the hearts of students. Eventually, we got so excited that I said, “Let’s pray. Right here! Right now!" Then I looked over and saw this table full of older men. I said, "You don't mind if they watch us pray, do you, Rebecca?" She giggled. We grasped hands and right then and there we asked the Lord to bring revival.

Welcome to Revive Our Hearts Weekend, I’m Dannah Gresh. 

Well, after that prayer over breakfast, Rebecca and I kept praying all weekend. We were texting each other and encouraging each other to keep asking God to move. And move He did! There is no way to say it but that He fell on that little student body in a way that neither Rebecca nor I could have orchestrated. 

I’d say half of the students and the faculty and staff were on their faces before God asking Him to bring new life to our hearts. After chapel, Rebecca and I hugged and rejoiced at what we saw God do. What a joy it was to be a very small part of it through one simple thing: prayer!

Don’t you wish God always answered so quickly? And don't you wish He was so direct in His answer?

Ah, but He often asks us to persevere in our prayers. And, well, we often have such a burden for our own needs that we sometimes don’t even get around to praying for others.

So, how do you pray for others? Let’s talk about that today. We'll hear from Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Dave and Kim Butts, and Kathy Branzell.

You know, another word for praying for others is “intercession.” Nancy spent some time explaining the idea of intercession, and she painted a beautiful picture of what it looks like to really intercede for others. To set the stage a little, I want to read to you from Exodus chapter 17. Here’s verses 8–13 to get us started:

Then Amalek came and fought with Israel at Rephidim. So Moses said to Joshua, "Choose for us men, and go out and fight with Amalek. Tomorrow I will stand on the top of the hill with the staff of God in my hand." So Joshua did as Moses told him, and fought with Amalek, while Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill.

Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed. But Moses’ hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun. And Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the sword (Ex. 17:8–13).

Here’s Nancy, to help us understand what’s happening in that passage:

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: So we have Joshua and the troops. We see that they are dependent on the Lord, and they are dependent on Moses who is standing on the hill interceding on their behalf. As Joshua is down fighting the battle, he is being prepared for his life’s work, which is going to be as the military leader of Israel.

I’m reminded that as we’re in the battle, we need to recognize our dependence on the Lord, recognize that we cannot do this without Him. We cannot fight in our own strength. As the old hymn says,

Did we in our own strength confide, our strivings would be losing.
Were not the right man on our side, the man of God's own choosing.
Christ Jesus, it is He. He must win the battle.
("A Mighty Fortress Is Our God." Martin Luther)

So as we take the place of Joshua, we’re down in this valley of this world fighting the battles; we realize we don’t fight on our own.

I find this applying in so many practical ways in my own life. When I’m teaching on a day like this as we’re recording for Revive Our Hearts, I am so thankful for those who are praying. I’m conscious of my dependence on the Lord in this battle. I’m conscious that I cannot go out in my own strength and do this.

I will often do radio interviews with other stations or programs. Many times those are on the phone, and I can do those from my home or my study. I started a practice years ago of doing those interviews, whenever possible, on my knees.

Nobody knows that as they’re listening to the interview. The person interviewing me on the other end doesn’t know that. But this is something I started back in the days when I had not done many interviews and I was really desperate for the Lord’s help. I knew I needed Him. So I would get on my knees and put the phone in my hand and do the interview.

It became a practice, a way for me of acknowledging my need for the Lord. I found myself not too long ago doing a string of interviews about a new book that had been released and thinking, I could do this interview sitting down. Well, I could, and nothing wrong with doing an interview sitting down.

But it struck me that I needed that symbol, that visible conscious reminder of my dependence on the Lord. Sometimes they’re long interviews, and I don’t end up on my knees for the whole time. But to start there at least and to say, “Lord, I need You.” It reminds me that the battle is the Lord’s.

At times I will ask others to pray. I will say to my office, “Can you send out an SOS? We have this going on in the ministry. We need people praying. Can you get prayer support?” Those of us who are the in valley fighting the battle, as you are in your workplace, in your church, in your home, in your marriage, fighting for the souls of your children, remember you need the Lord. Remember you need others praying for you.

Recognize your need to have others pray for you as you are in this battle. There's nothing wrong with picking up the phone and calling a friend saying, "I'm in a battle today." It may be with an addiction or besetting sins—a sin habit that you are struggling with. Or you are exhausted and you've had it with your children. And you know that if God doesn't intervene and give you grace, you are going to be one unpleasant mother to live with.

So pick up the phone. Call your husband. Call a friend and say, "Would you pray for me? I can't do this battle on my own." Wives, as you’re in the battle spiritually during the day, you need the prayers of your husband. We need the prayers of our spiritual leaders. I will often, as a single woman, call one of the spiritual leaders that God has put into my life and say, “Would you please pray for me?” I need that covering. I need that protection.

If we’re taking the place of Joshua in the battle, we need to realize our need for others to support and sustain us, that we cannot win the battle ourselves.

So we have Joshua who is fighting the physical battle down in the valley. Then we have Moses who is up on the hill looking down on the battle, and he is fighting a less visible battle but equally real. He’s fighting the spiritual battle on behalf of those down in the valley.

I recognize as I’ve been meditating on this passage over the last weeks that the battle is won or lost up on the hill. The victory over the forces of evil down in the valley requires and depends on the ministry of intercession, someone holding up the rod of God toward heaven and calling out to God to intervene on our behalf.

That word intercession comes from a word that means “to intervene.” Intercession is pleading with God on behalf of another person. It’s calling out for God’s intervention.

Intercession is work. I am not what I would call an intercessor. Intercession is hard work, and I think it’s the hardest work I’m ever called to do. I’ve known people who really are intercessors; that’s their primary calling and ministry. I’ve watched their lives, and I’m amazed at how they carry that burden.

It’s hard work. It’s vital work. The work of intercession determines the outcome of the battle. That’s what releases God’s power. When Moses’ hands fell down, the Israelites began to lose. If there’s not someone up on the hill interceding for us, we are going to lose the battle.

It’s true on so many fronts that God’s power is released through intercession. I think of James 5:16 that says, “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that”—what?—“that you may be healed.”

Recognizing needs in each other’s lives, recognizing sinful issues—we’re to confess these; we’re to be open about these so we can intercede for each other. When you learn about somebody’s spiritual failure, somebody’s sin, whether they come and tell you about it or you just observe it, that is a call to intercession.

That’s a call to go to the hill and to lift up the rod of God and intercede on their behalf so they can be healed, so the spiritual victory can be won in their lives. Prayer is vital, determinative work.

Parents, you need to be praying for your children. That is the most strategic, vital, necessary work you can do on their behalf. I’m afraid it’s the work that, in so many cases, goes by the wayside because it’s the unseen work.

Everybody would notice if you didn’t get your kids to school. Everybody would notice if your kids didn’t have decent clothes. But not everybody notices if no one is praying for your child. But the real battle for your children’s souls is being fought, is won or lost up on the hill in intercession.

Wives, are you praying for your husbands? They’re out there in a battle. They’re in a battle for their souls. I’ve seen so many men get tripped up with pride or sensuality, immorality, greed, lust. I’m wondering, Who was on the hill fighting for them? Who was interceding on their behalf? How did they get side swiped by the devil? Was somebody praying?

Are you praying for your pastor? Are you praying for other Christian workers? That’s where the battle is won or lost. Prayer is hard work. It’s vital work. It can be tiring work. We sometimes get weary in the battle and in the intercession, as Moses’ hands grew weary as he was holding up that rod. So we need others to come alongside to help us.

Prayer is long work. We’re told to pray without ceasing. Other kinds of work may be done. You can check things off your to-do list, but you can never check prayer off your to-do list. Prayer ought to always be at the top of our to-do list.

Moses held up his hands steady. How long? Until the going down of the sun—all the way to the end of the day. There’s a long haul aspect to prayer.

Jesus said men ought always to pray and not to give up, not to lose heart, not to grow weary.

I think of those verses in Isaiah chapter 62, verses 6 and 7 that say, “On your walls, O Jerusalem, I have set watchmen [intercessors]. All the day and all the night they shall never keep silent.” And then he goes on to say, You who remind the Lord. That’s a description of an intercessor. “You who put the Lord in remembrance, take no rest, and give him no rest.”

Do you ever think about you keeping God awake? God’s not going to go to sleep. But there’s a sense in which we’re reminding the Lord and we’re saying, “Lord, I’m not going to let You go until you win the battle in the life of this teenager or this adult son or daughter or this husband who is in a battle for his soul, involved in this extramarital relationship. Oh God, I’m crying out to You to win the victory.”

“You who put the Lord in remembrance, take no rest, and give him no rest until he establishes Jerusalem and makes it a praise in the earth.” Until the battle has been won.

Dannah: Isn’t it beautiful to know that your prayers matter? I don’t know about you, but just that thought changes my attitude; it makes me want to pray for others even more fervently. 

Nancy’s been explaining the power of intercessory prayer to us, and helping us see what God’s Word says about it. Prayer is meaningful, and . . . sometimes intense work. And, friend, it’s such a gift. Think about it, we are talking with the Creator of the universe. And you’re blessing those around you as you lift them up to Him. 

Now, let me ask you a hard question: if you say you’re going to pray for someone, do you really mean it? It can be so easy to say the words: “I’ll be praying for you” and then move on with our day, completely forgetting to stop and pray. Have you been there? I know I have. In fact, can I be honest? There was a time in my life where I would say “I’ll pray for you” and . . . I actually didn’t mean it. It had just become a habit . . . something I said like “bless your heart.” I had fallen into a trap of “Christianese”—insider jargon that had hollow meaning.

Does that sound familiar in any way to you?

Well, I guess the question I want to ask you is, how can we make sure that when we say we’re gonna pray that we actually do what we say we’re going to do? 

Oh, for the record: I was deeply convicted that this habit of saying "I'll pray for you" and not doing it was untruthful and careless sin. Yep, that’s what I called it. Sin. I asked the Lord’s forgiveness. I don’t say, “I’ll pray for you” as often these days. But when I do, I absolutely mean it!

What works for you? Maybe set up a designated time each day to pray for specific requests and needs of those around you. I know some people who actually set a timer on their phone so that they don't forget. I know others who jot down on a piece of paper the names of their friends and the needs that they've brought to them. They might put it on a Post-It Note and stick it on their Bible or on the mirror in their bathroom so they don't forget.

We need something that helps us do what we say we are going to do. The best thing that I have found is just do what Rebecca and I did—stop and pray immediately! Right there when the need comes up!

Oh, and here’s a thought: use Scripture as you pray over your friends and family. Dave and Kim Butts have put this into practice in their lives and they shared their approach with Nancy. Here’s Kim sharing why using Scripture in our prayers is a powerful tool. 

Kim Butts: As you're praying His Word back to Him, it helps people in so many different ways:

Number 1: It gives you vocabulary for prayer. So many times you just run out of words to praise God more than, "Lord, I praise You. I worship You." Well, there's multitudes of ways in here.

"How do you seek after the longing that you have in your soul and your spirit that you want to express to God?" It's here. Just look at the psalms of David, crying out to the Lord.

There's ways to bless in prayer. I bless people all the time. I take blessings out of the Bible and pray them for people, over people. I send emails to people with blessings.

Our youngest son, when he was two it just became a thing between he and myself. I laid my hand on him and prayed a modified version of Numbers 6, that Aaronic blessing. I said, "David, the Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon you and give you peace." It's very simple. A two year old can handle that one. When he was four, he put his hand back on me and blessed me back.

Nancy: You'd been doing this regularly?

Kim: Had done it regularly, yes.

Nancy: During that time?

Kim: Yes. And even on the phone, when we were gone, separated.

Dave Butts: I would occasionally be the fill-in.

Kim: The night before he got married, he came into the bedroom, knelt down by the bed, and asked me for that blessing.

Nancy: Wow.

Kim: So you know, now he has a little girl of his own, and a little boy, and it's been a very special thing to know that that was important enough to him, it was something he wanted to pass along.

So using the Scripture to bless is very, very important. And you can take any blessing, lay your hand on someone, or even not, but just pray a blessing over them, God's perfect plan and will. And can you imagine somebody doing that for you? It's a really, really gripping, precious thing, a gift to give someone.

Dave: Yes.

Nancy: Kim, let me just ask you, this might seem a little unusual, but could you just pick a short passage or paragraph or verse there and pray that Scripture? We're going to join our hearts. We're going to pray. It could be a praise or intercession.

Would you just pray that as a blessing?

Kim: Sure. This is out of 1 Thessalonians. I was going to go to 2 Thessalonians, but there's a good one here, too. So I'm just going to pray over you all: "May our God and Father Himself and Jesus our Lord direct our way to Him. And may the Lord cause you to increase and abound in love for one another and for all people so that He may establish your hearts without blame in holiness before our God the Father at the coming of the Lord with all His saints."

Dave: Amen.

Kim: So you can pray any passage for people, say, "Oh, this is a passage that my son needs today. This is something my missionary friend would be so blessed by." Just take time and type it in an email and say, "I'm praying this for you today."

It's one thing to say, "I'm praying for you." It's another thing to actually do it. And one of the things we subscribe to is: Pray now.

Don't tell somebody you're going to pray because how many times do you forget and the surgery's over, and you went, "Oh, I forgot." And then later they go, "Thank you for praying!" And you're, like, shhh . . . We've all been there. So don't wait.

That's what I'm saying. Use the power of the Word to pray. I don't ever pray without my Bible. I often pray things, obviously, that aren't, but it helps jumpstart your prayer life if there's something, you have that longing in your heart, and you just don't know what to do: Go to the Word, and God will gift you with words to pray.

Dannah: Such great ideas for being intentional about the way you pray for others. That was Dave and Kim Butts with Nancy. You can still pray with your own words that come from your heart. But praying with the power of God’s Word is always a good place to start. 

You know, praying for others is important for a lot of reasons. But let me ask you this: did you know praying for others is one way to show them that you care for and love them? Praying for people causes us to look beyond ourselves, to really see others and their needs. And then we get to watch the Lord work.

Here’s a question: what would happen if you prayed for the people you were scheduled to spend time with? Ahead of time! I’m talking about praying for people God has put in your upcoming schedule. Maybe it’s in your classroom full of second-graders or some friends you’re meeting for lunch this coming week—whoever it is. What if you were able to show up and say, “I’ve been praying for you?”  

Nancy and I got to interview the president of the National Day of Prayer Task Force, Kathy Branzell. Here’s Kathy sharing how God uses our prayers to encourage others and how she prayed for us, Nancy and Dannah,because we were on her schedule.

Kathy: So many people call us, so many people grab me in an elevator or in a restaurant and they go, “Teach me to pray. I want to pray; I want to love people, but I just don’t even know where to start. I don’t know how!”

And prayer really is a beautiful way to start loving people. Jesus taught us to pray. He commanded us to love. He said, “This will be your character; this is how people will know you’re My follower, that you love one another as I have loved you.” 

Well, how has Jesus loved me? He was praying for me early in the day and late at night. And so, in that, look at your schedule every day. This is why I was praying for you back in February, because you were on my schedule for the next day.

I looked up to see who all I would be with, what names could I find—even the tech people and who all was involved in this production. And I started praying for you by name and whatever Scripture God had laid on my heart that day. That’s what I was praying for you.

I had never met you. But that is a wonderful way to love one another and to love people you have never even met.

Dannah: And to be like Jesus!

Nancy: Robert and I have found in the years we have been married just such a joy in stopping and praying with people all along the way. People like those we met through his cancer journey, with people who have come into our home to make repairs, or those serving us at a restaurant, or those at an airport helping with the ride to a hotel, or those at different places along the way.

We have found so many rich opportunities to touch lives by just thanking people for their service, acknowledging them. Robert calls some of these people the “shadow people,” because who notices the receptionist who’s letting you in the building when you’re on your way to a doctor appointment?

But to notice them, to take an interest in them, to thank them sincerely for what they’re doing to care for us, and then saying, “Is there any way we could pray for you?” when we have opportunity to do it right there. And we have found so many people grateful; we’ve never had anybody say, “No, please don’t!”

It’s been a means. Because if we just think we’re going to pray for them later, we may not remember, though we do try at the end of the day to pray for the people we’ve met during the day. But I love what you did, Kathy, to just pray ahead for your schedule, the people you’re going to see, the people you’re going to be working with.

Nancy: I don’t want to suggest that we pray with every person we meet or pray for them. We don’t do that. But we try to connect with them and then be sensitive as the Spirit indicates that there’s an open door, an open heart. We’re alert to opportunities to pray with and for people.

Kathy: I want to say, too, that sometimes we over-spiritualize prayer. All of a sudden, we start speaking in the King James Version, or we think that we have to pontificate Psalm 103 perfectly.

Be practical! People need prayer in a practical sense.

You may think I’m just awful, but if you have a very loud cell phone conversation around me, I’m listening. If you’re going to project that much . . .

Nancy: Sometimes you can’t help listening!

Kathy: I’m praying for you whatever you’re disclosing on the phone. I’m not judging you, because I have no stones to pick up and throw, but I am praying for you. You can look at someone and just pray, “Lord, I pray that the joy of the Lord is her strength, and the strength of the Lord is her joy, amen!” It’s really that simple.

If you see a couple arguing or you see a child acting out . . . We’re radars, we’re women, we are human radars of the emotions of people around us. And the Holy Spirit prompts, so just pray when there is an opportunity. If someone looks at you in a moment of distress, if you have an open-door conversation, you can say, “I prayed for you. Would you be comfortable if I just prayed a couple of sentences (not a dissertation) over you right now? Could I just bless you?” I’ve yet to have anyone go, “Oh no, please don’t!”

Dannah: Do you find it a joy to pray for others? Maybe this conversation I had with Nancy and Kathy Branzell has given you a new perspective on praying with and for people. 

If you want to learn more about the power of prayer, you can hear the rest of that discussion on our website, ReviveOurHearts.com/weekend. Just look for today’s episode, "The Beauty of Praying for Others," and we’ll be sure to drop a link there. 

And . . . we’re also going to hear more from Kathy Branzell and others this Tuesday evening during our live online event. I hope you’re making plans to attend. It’s the fourth of four events in our series “Biblical Help for Real Life.” This one is on Developing a Vibrant Prayer Life. Kathy Branzell, Lori Hatcher, Karen Ellis, and Erin Davis will lead you through this encouraging time. Even if you can’t watch it live on Tuesday at 7 p.m. Eastern, you can always catch it later, but you have to register. There’s more information at ReviveOurHearts.com/help.

Now, we know praying for others is important. But have you ever found it more difficult to pray for yourself? Sometimes it feels selfish! Well, it is possible to pray for yourself without being selfish; in fact, the Bible is full of ways for us to pray that God would work in our own lives. When you have that perspective, it’s not selfish to pray that way, it’s showing dependence and trust in God.

If you need a fresh perspective on this kind of prayer, you’ll enjoy this month’s resource. It’s a prayer journal called My Personal Petitions. It will encourage you to ask God for greater faith, humility, and so on. There are practical tools to help you with that, as well as Scriptures, thoughts from Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, and more.

That booklet is our gift to you when you make a donation of any amount this month. Be sure to ask for it when you give. You can do that at ReviveOurHearts.com, or call 1-800-569-5959. And we’ll also send you a bookmark that goes with that journal! Again, it’s called My Personal Petitions. 

Next week on this program, we’re going to take a closer look at love. People often have ooey-gooey ways of defining love. But what does God say? How do we love Him? And how do we love other people? We’ll talk about that.

Thanks for listening today. I’m Dannah Gresh. We’ll see you next time for Revive Our Hearts Weekend.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

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