Revive Our Hearts Podcast

Who Had Been Praying?

Leslie Basham: As a seventeen year old, Angie sat in the parking lot of an abortion clinic while a life hung in the balance.

Angie: This teeny, tiny, smallest part of my soul wouldn’t let me open that door. It was like all the power that I had in my hand was gone, and I couldn’t get out of the car. This whole time my friend is crowding me with all these negative things, just saying it in my ear so I would believe all these things, because they were all true.  I couldn’t sit there and argue and say, “Yes, I could take care of the baby.”

Leslie: This is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss for Monday, January 21.

Today’s Revive Our Hearts isn’t appropriate for younger children, and you’ll want to get them involved somewhere else. 

Here's some of what we heard from Angie last week.

Angie: I dove straight into drugs and alcohol deeper than I already had been. I started selling drugs to make more money to buy drugs. I did ecstasy like it was going out of style, and that’s a very dangerous drug.

That’s the kind of drug people say that makes it go away. You’re happy. I used to think if everyone in the world was on ecstasy, everyone would be happy. But after it’s gone and over, you go on this intense low feeling. When you feel really good and then you feel the opposite, that causes depression and all those things. So I just dove in really deep into alcohol and drugs. I just tried to cast away everything that made me feel anything. I detached myself emotionally from everyone and everything. . . .

This guy had hung around my circle. We hung out with guys and girls, and it was mixed. He was very charming. He had a great smile, and he was so nice. He listened. That was his avenue to earn my trust because you didn’t just get it because I wasn’t that kind of girl anymore.

So as our relationship progressed, he never wanted sex from me. He never wanted drugs. He never wanted anything but my attention. So I started thinking in my mind maybe this is a good way to be. Maybe it is possible. He asked me if I would date him, and I said yes. He waited. He didn’t want to have sex right away, and I thought that that was admirable. So he waited a whole two weeks, which seemed so long to me because other guys were like, “I’m not going to date you unless you have sex with me first.”

So we dated for two weeks, and then we had sex. Everything was fine. I felt good about my life. That seems funny because I didn’t have a place to live. I had no job, no car, no license. I was sixteen years old with absolutely nothing. I had dropped out of high school, and had lost contact with a very important person in my life—my grandmother. My parents were doing their own thing.

Here I was with this guy that I knew loved me with all his heart, and we were going to be married. He didn’t have a job or a car or a license, and he did just as many drugs as I did. He dropped out of school as well. So here we are on top of the world. . . .

Two months after we were dating, I had my very close friend, my best friend, and she was with this guy. She wanted so badly to be pregnant because he kept leaving her. She was like, “If I just have a baby, he’ll stay.”

She said, “I think I’m pregnant. Let’s go get a pregnancy test.” So as kind of a moral support thing, I said, “I’ll get one, too.” So we went to the health clinic. We were sitting there, and we went and did the whole duty. We came back, and we were in the waiting room giggling and laughing, and I was reading Cosmo or whatever.

So the woman comes out and she brings us both back into the room together because we were together, and it was fine. She gave us these little pieces of paper. She handed them both to us and she said, “Congratulations.” She looked at me, and I looked at her eyes, and I just laughed. I said, “You got the wrong paper.” I grabbed my friend’s paper and gave her mine. She goes, “No, honey. You’re pregnant.”

At that moment I just felt tears stream down my face. I didn’t want to have a baby. I didn't want to hear anything anyone had to say. I was looking at my friend, like, "Let's go." Of course, she was disappointed because she wanted the paper that I had. I was the one that was pregnant and she wasn’t.

Leslie: Here's Nancy with the next part of Angie's story.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Angie, thank you so much for telling us your story. I know it’s going to bring hope and grace to many other lives, and you are just a gem, a trophy of God’s grace. As we listen to that story, we hear that it is all of God. Thank you for being willing to share what God has done in your life.

Angie: Yes! Praise God!

Nancy: We haven’t gotten to that point yet, but we are going to, Lord willing, today. We thought this might be a one day program, but it’s ended up being several days, and I’m so thankful that you have been willing to come and to share it with us.

When we left, you were on your seventeenth birthday. You had gone with a friend who hoped that she might be pregnant so she could get her boyfriend to stay with her. To see if she was pregnant, she’d gone to some sort of health clinic to get a pregnancy test. And just kind of on lark, or to be her friend, you decided to get one, too.

Then the report came back that she wasn’t pregnant, but you were. It was hard to believe, and that’s the last thing that you expected when you walked in that clinic that day. What kind of conversation did you and your friend have at that point?

Angie: It reminds me, as you’re recapping what we spoke about yesterday, of Sarah and Abraham, when Sarah laughed. I felt unbelieving. I felt—not that I thought it would be a blessing, by any means—but I didn’t believe it because I thought I was invincible, because I had birth control.

When the women told me, I switched the papers because I didn’t believe it. I was unbelieving. We walked out; we went into her car. The whole way from that room all the way to her car and in her car, she was filled with, I think, a lot of anger and jealousy. Essentially, she wanted the child that I was pregnant with. She said things like, “You know, you shouldn’t do this. You’re not ready for a baby. Do you know what pregnancy does to your body? You can’t even take care of yourself; you can’t possibly take care of a baby. There’s no one helping you!”

And I agreed with everything she said.

Nancy: She was right.

Angie: A lot of times when Satan speaks to us, he’s not telling lies. It was the truth. I was alone; I was hopeless; I had no job, no income, no survival method. So what she was saying was true, and I felt hopeless, and I gave up. I said, “Fine, well what’s your suggestion?”

My best friend said, “I have a place.” So we drove, and she’s reassuring me that this is the right choice. She was saying, “This is the best for you. Just think about it—you’re going to keep your boyfriend now because if you told him you’re pregnant, sister, he’d be gone! Guys don’t want babies. They want fun and partying, and they don’t want babies.” So that kept ringing in my head.

She pulled up in front of this antique house. We were sitting there, and she said, “This is an abortion clinic; I’ve been here.” She’d had an abortion. She said, “They’re really nice in there, and this one lady, she even gives you some water with lemon in it.” She’s trying to reassure me and comfort me that this would be okay.

She really wanted me to abort the baby, and in my mind, it seemed logical, but in my heart, there was something in my heart that I just can’t describe. I know now that it was the Lord. I know now that God was there declaring His promises to me before I could even understand His voice or recognize His face. It was like everything in me wanted to give this child up, to kill the baby inside of me.

It wasn’t even a baby. My friend reassured me that it wasn’t even formed yet, and everything in me said that was the good choice. Logically, it made sense. I would keep my boyfriend. I couldn’t afford it anyway. It would be bad for the child. What would it grow up to be like?

But this teeny, tiny, smallest part of my soul wouldn’t let me open that door. I even had my hand on the handle, and I couldn’t open it. It was like all the power that I had in my hand was gone, and I couldn’t get out of the car. This whole time, my friend is crowding me with all of these negative things, just saying it in my ear so I would believe all these things, because they were all true. So I couldn’t sit there and argue and say, “Yes, I could take care of the baby.”

Nancy: How long were you in that car?

Angie: Two hours.

Nancy: Sitting in the parking lot?

Angie: Right in front of that door, just waiting, just sitting there. And the whole time I don’t remember silence. The whole time she was speaking to me, and I said nothing. I was just nodding my head and agreeing with everything she said because it was the truth.

Nancy: Let me say, by the way, that abortion clinic is just down the street from where our ministry is headquartered, Revive Our Hearts. For years there are people in this community who have prayed for and about and around and near that abortion clinic. As you’re telling this story, I can picture the house. I know exactly where it is. I drive past it all the time. And I just find myself wondering, “Who was praying that day?”

Angie: It was December 7, 1999.

Nancy: Who had been praying there, perhaps in previously days, or that day, for the young women who were considering having abortions? For that abortionist, we had prayed for the abortion doctor there many times over the years, through our ministry, and other churches and ministries in the area have prayed.

Who was praying for you that day that didn’t even know that you were sitting in that parking lot. As we come up to Sanctity of Human Life Sunday this weekend, people are going to be encouraged in their churches to pray, to be involved in life chains and life walks and different ways of caring for the life of the unborn. I want you to listen to Angie’s story and to know that your prayers are not in vain.

It was God who was keeping your hand on that handle and wouldn’t let you open that door. You know that now, but of course you didn’t realize that then.

Angie: Right. Exactly.

Nancy: What was the point at which you just knew you needed to get off that parking lot?

Angie: The moment that I felt like I couldn’t open the door, there was that urgent feeling. Then a thought popped into my mind, and I remembered a memory. About a year or two before I was at a football game. I remember my favorite teacher—you know how you kind of cling to one of your teachers in your high school. I

 was standing next to her, and she was talking to a girl younger than myself, at the time, about a pregnancy care center. She said, “There’s this pregnancy care center” or something. I didn’t even remember what she said; I just remember her encouraging that girl to go there for help when she was pregnant.

That’s all I needed. The Lord used that one moment. I looked at my friend and said, “Wait a minute. Wait. I don’t want to do this. I just want to wait. I need to think about it. I can’t do this right now, so we’ll just keep this under our hats.” And with despair, she started the engine and turned around and drove.

The street that the Pregnancy Care Center is on is the main street. I drove by this building a million times, at least, and I never saw the cute little white sign with the colors. As we drove by, I glanced over and saw it, and I was like, “Stop!”

She said, “What?”

And I said, “Pull over to the parking lot.”

She looked up, and she saw it. She said, “This is so stupid. Why are you even doing this?” She was just negative, negative. So we pulled into the parking lot. I was excited.  I didn’t think about it then, but now that I look back on it, something changed. I made this choice, even though I didn’t know it, my heart made this choice: I’m willing to do it if there’s hope. And that’s all God needs is a willing heart.

Nancy: At this point, you didn’t know what you were going to do with this baby?

Angie: No, I had no idea. Like I had said, I planned on not keeping the baby. I mean, my plans were different from the Lord’s, obviously. In my heart, I knew that there were different plans for me. But in my mind, it didn’t connect. There were all these logical explanations for why not to.

But when we pulled up into that parking lot and I looked at that sign, let me just say, I didn’t sit there and wait for two hours. I got out of the car, and my friend kind of jokingly said, “Oh, this should be good,” just kind of mocking me, or whatever.

We walked in, and all of the sudden, that warm fluffy feeling was gone. There was no nice sweet aroma, there was no warm invitation from the Lord and all the angels. Well, I’m sure they were there, but it didn’t feel like that.

Nancy: What did it feel like?

Angie: All of the sudden, I felt overwhelmed again, but this time, a hundred times worse.

Nancy: With fear?

Angie: Fear. This is the wrong thing to do. You shouldn’t be here. It was like the commercial with God on this side and Satan on that side. That’s kind of what it felt like!

Nancy: I’m just imagining the battle that was going on between Heaven and Hell for your soul and for the life of that baby.

Angie: As I walked in there, I didn’t say anything. My knees were knocking together; I was so scared. A woman was at the front desk, and she had this smile like, “You’re going to be okay.” I remember her smile was . . . She could tell I was scared to death. She handed me the clipboard and said, “Have a seat over there.”

Nancy: You probably weren’t the first girl to come in there scared to death—or the last!

Angie: Probably not, right. So she handed me the clipboard, and I went and sat down. All I remember was filling out a fake name, and then she called me back up. I was thinking, “Okay, I’m not ready! I’m not ready!”

So I walked back up and I handed her the clipboard, and I think it was fast. She called me up fast. I think it was because she knew if she waited any longer that I’d probably run out. That’s how I felt, and I think she knew that I was really scared. They can sense it, I’m sure.

So I stood there, and she took the clipboard, and I didn’t know what was going to happen. There’s this weird fear that you have of the unknown. I was standing there, anxious, and I kind of felt like, “This is the right place to go. I’m doing the right thing, but then I don’t know these people. What are they going to do? I’m going in this room. What’s going to happen now?”

So I stood there, and that’s when I met Michelle.

Nancy: And who was Michelle?

Angie: This woman walked out from a room on the side, and she stood there and shook my hand, and I just looked at her. I don’t remember what she said. I can’t remember a word. I wish I could tell you some beautiful Bible verse she shared with me, or a nice thought from her past. I cannot tell you one word she said to me in that room.

All I remember was her eyes. I remember that I felt so accepted and so safe in that room with her. I don’t remember anything she said—I really don’t. She didn’t hug me; she didn’t hold me, I mean, there was no emotion. It was only the sense that I felt, because she wasn’t doing anything else, do you know what I’m trying to say?

I remember looking in her eyes and finding everything that I had been looking for, for seventeen years.

Nancy: Which was really the love of God.

Angie: It was Jesus! Now that I look back at that room, in that moment, it was like Jesus was sitting right there looking in my eyes and declaring the life of His child, His unborn child in my womb. Even though I didn’t know Him, even though I couldn’t recognize His voice or even recognize His face, He somehow found an avenue to speak to me where I could understand Him.

When I saw her face, she was so willing to talk to me. But it was like nothing that she even said mattered. The fact that she accepted me, and it was the fact that Jesus lived in her, and I could see it. She didn’t even talk about God at all. She didn’t say the name of Jesus—nothing. But it was like her being there, and it wasn’t even her, it was Jesus right there in front of me.

I remember her eyes were like the eyes of Jesus on the cross, dying for me. All I know is that when I was in that room, not one single piece of me wanted to give the baby up. I didn’t even listen to what she said, so I know it was God. Not one part of me anymore. It was gone—all those awful feelings, all of those troubles, all of the concerns of my friend, the legitimate concerns of my friend—it didn’t matter anymore.

Now, God presented me with hope, and there was hope through Jesus Christ, and I didn’t know it. Even in the time after I left that room, it was hard. I’m not going to say that after I walked out of that room it was easy, and I had this perfect life, and God made all of these wonderful miraculous things happen, and I got a job, and I graduated. No. Nothing like that happened. Let me tell you, it was the hardest time of my life after I made that choice to keep that baby.

Nancy: Did you make the choice right there?

Angie: Right there in that moment, I knew that I couldn’t do it. It wasn’t because the Bible said “no.” It wasn’t because my mom was urging me to keep the child, because she was pro-life. No, nothing like that. It was simply the pure, raw voice of God speaking to my heart, not vocally.

Nancy: And you didn’t even know at that point that that’s what that was?

Angie: No, that’s the thing! I had no idea what it was! I just sensed something. I thought it was her! I mean, if I would have went any further, I would have made an idol out of her or something because I had no idea. I had no idea.

Nancy: So you left with a different course of action than when you came in?

Angie: Yes. When I walked out into the waiting room, my friend was there reading a magazine, and she was like, “Are you ready to go back down the street yet?” She thought that the people at the Pregnancy Care Center were phony and corny, and they don’t really help. They’re just there because they need jobs. This is just a place because the state makes people have these kind of businesses, because it makes them look.

I mean, there were all these ridiculous accusations towards this place that was really a safe house for me. That was the first time that I’d ever felt accepted, been accepted, and been loved in my whole life. When I left that place, my mind was different, and my heart was changed in a moment.

Nancy: We've been hearing the story of a young women named Angie. Eight months after she visited the Pregnancy Care Center here in Southwest Michigan, the Lord blessed Angie with a baby boy. Tomorrow we'll hear about how the Lord took care of Angie and her newborn son.

Within that next year an even more significant birth took place as Angie was reborn and came to faith in Jesus Christ. I hope you'll join us here on Revive Our Hearts for the final part of that conversation.

I want to take just a moment to update this story and tell you that since Angie and I recorded this interview, that abortion clinic where she sat in the parking lot as a terrified seventeen-year-old girl, just down the road from where I'm sitting now, that abortion clinic has shut its doors. In fact, they just closed for good a few weeks ago.

I believe with all my heart that is an answer to prayer that many, many people have prayed over decades as they have walked past that abortion clinic, as they have lived in this community. We've prayed and interceded, and I believe that God has heard and answered those many prayers.

And the Pregnancy Care Center in our area has moved to a new and better facility so that they can more effectively minister to women like Angie.

So tomorrow, as we mark the fortieth anniversary in the United States of the Supreme Court decision, Roe vs. Wade, I'm so thankful for all those supporting pregnancy care centers in their areas. I want to say "thank you" to everyone who has prayed for the ministry of those PCCs, those who volunteer, to those who counsel young women, and to those who support the ministry of their local PCC financially. Let me encourage you to ask the Lord how He might want you to get involved.

Lord, I just want to thank You for the work that You are doing across this nation as the enemy is at work seeking to kill and to destroy and to take life, You are at work at the same time bringing about faith and new life in Angies across this country—women like her.

Thank you for the ministry of the pregnancy care centers, for those who labor in this difficult work, those who counsel, those who donate, those who support these ministries in various ways. Lord, I pray Your blessing on them.

Thank you, Lord, how in these recent weeks You have closed that abortion clinic in our area so that it will never again be a place where life is taken. But here in this community there is a place where life can be given, where women can come to hear the gospel, where they can receive help and practical help in counseling and direction assistance.

Thank you, Lord, for that You are a life-giving and redeeming God. I pray that You would show us in this land how You would have us be more involved in helping these life-giving ministries.

We bless You and give You thanks, in Jesus' holy name, amen.

Leslie: When our guest, Angie, found herself pregnant, she was disconnected from her family, and she had no job, house, or car. But she wasn’t alone, and she hadn’t been forgotten. The Father to the fatherless was with her.

Angie: You don't know that when you are in the situation what the outcome is going to be. That's why God is so good, and why we need God. We don't know the future.

Through your children you see your need for Christ more. I could not imagine for one moment not having Him in my life.

Leslie: Hear the next part of Angie’s story tomorrow on Revive Our Hearts.

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss is an outreach of Life Action Ministries.

*Offers available only during the broadcast of the podcast season.