Susanna Wesley: A Hero Without a Cape

Dannah Gresh: In the 1700s Susanna Wesley once wrote some parenting guidelines. 

Susanna Wesley:  As children they are to be in bed by 8 p.m. Teach a child to pray as soon as he can speak. Commend and reward good behavior  

Dannah: Today, we’ll explore the life of an ordinary mother used by God in some extraordinary ways.

This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Surrender: The Heart God Controls, for May 2, 2022. I’m Dannah Gresh.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Today I want to do something a little unusual, well, it's a lot unusual. I want to invite you to come with me into Robert's and my home. I want to take you into my study.

The first thing you are going to notice is there are bookshelves everywhere, and books floor to ceiling—crammed in sometimes two or three deep. Yes, it's a little bit messy, so we'll pretend like you don't see that.

I want you to check this out because my bookshelves give you a little window into who I am, my thinking, and my heart. So yes, I have quite a few Bibles—a sweet collection of Bibles I've been through over the years lined up over there. There's a shelf with my journals from the time I was in junior high school. I have a bookshelf of hymnals. Yes, I'm a hymnal collector.

But then, you've got to see this section. This is multiple bookshelves. It's a whole section scattered about actually at my home and my study at the office that is set aside for biographies. Oh yes, I love biographies. The first one I read as early as I could read was a biography of J. C. Penny. The next one I remember reading was one on William Carey: The Shoemaker Who Gave India the Bible. This book touched my life in such a deep way. It impacted my thinking, my values, my heart, my love for Jesus, and my love for the world.

Over the years I have read so many biographies. You can see here a collection of biographies on George Müller, several of them. Somebody asked me just recently, "What's your favorite one on George Müller?" And I said, "Any book that has been written on George Müller is my favorite." They are wonderful.

Here's another about a courageous British missionary to China, Gladys Aylward. She was known as the "little woman." Here's one, actually I have several, all about Hudson Taylor, who was also a British missionary to China. Oh, and this book, it's a big one. It's by Elisabeth Elliot on the life of Amy Carmichael called A Chance to Die. And as you can see, there are many, many more in this collection of biographies. I haven't read them all, but I sure would love to.

Are you getting the picture? I really do love these. It’s been true of me for years and years. And to this day, I’m passionate about encouraging God's people to pass these stories on from one generation to the next.

Now for sure, my favorite biographies contain stories of men and women God used to do extraordinary things for His kingdom. I’ve noticed something about these people. In many ways, they were actually quite ordinary—we might even have called them unremarkable. A lot of them faced huge limitations. Most had significant obstacles to overcome. 

But when these people trusted in an extraordinary God, He used them in extraordinary ways. On the pages of Christian biographies, I’ve discovered over and over again that in God’s kingdom, the true “greats” are humble people. They use their lives to declare, “It’s not about me; it’s about Jesus.”

Our theme during the month of May in Revive Our Hearts is: one woman can make a difference. Sprinkled throughout this month here on Revive Our Hearts, we’re going to take a look at the lives of a few women used mightily by God to make a difference in the lives of those around them.

My prayer is that these biographical sketches that our team has put together will inspire you and challenge you to take a look at your own life and say, “How might God want to use an unremarkable person like me to do remarkable things for His glory?” 

And with Mother’s Day just around the corner, today we want to focus on the life of an amazing wife and mother, Susanna Wesley.

I’ve asked two members of our team to help walk us through her story. You’ll be hearing from Dannah Gresh–cohost of Revive Our Hearts. She's also the coauthor with me of Lies Young Women Believe, and founder/director of our sister ministry, True Girl. Also joining us today is Erin Davis, content manager for Revive Our Hearts and main host of our weekly videocast Grounded. Here’s Dannah to get us started. 

Dannah: Thanks, Nancy. I’m excited about this. I love biographies, too. My library is full of them—some of the same ones! As you mentioned, my dear friend Erin Davis is with us in the studio today. Welcome, Erin!

Erin Davis: Thank you. I think we need to have a book swap. You could read some of my biographies, I could read some of yours. Wouldn't that be fun?

Dannah: I love this idea. Better yet, a book reading club where we get together and have to talk about it.

Erin: With snacks?

Dannah: Yes, very good snacks! You bring the popcorn because we know that Dannah Gresh loves Erin Davis's popcorn!

Erin, you helped produce our new resource—a short book from Revive Our Hearts called: (Un)remarkable: Ten Ordinary Women Who Impacted Their World for Christ. You wrote the chapter on Susanna Wesley and titled it, “A Hero Without a Cape.”

So, should we cue up the superhero music?

Erin: I think every woman needs superhero music in the background the whole time. So, yes, let's cue the music!

Well, you know I’m kinda wired to want to be a hero. I want to save the day, stop the villain, and rescue those in peril. 

Dannah: So this is the truth. I was just at your farm. If I could add to my earlier popcorn order some of your chocolate chip cookies, I would like to do that. You hosted dinner for like sixteen of us. My True Girl team was rolling through there. It was amazing! All the stops! The hostess with the mostess. And you did that while caring for a farm full of boys and, I don’t know, you threw in a niece and nephew because they needed a place to hang out for the weekend. It was truly exceptional. I remember there was a moment at the s’more pit I looked down as you nurtured your niece while you answered your son. I thought, heroic. But I'm hoping today you’re not about to tell us you can also secretly fly or have a superpower we don't know about!

Erin: No. I'll tell you the secret of what was really going on at that firepit was my niece managed to get hot, sticky marshmallow all in her hair, and I was trying to figure out how to get it out! It was an undertaking that took me a couple days.  

Most days I can hardly find two shoes that match, much less a hero’s cape or the strength or the energy to leap buildings in a single bound. If I'm honest, more often than not, the cares of life make me the one who needs to be rescued instead of the one swooping in to save others. 

Dannah: Boy, isn’t that the truth!?

Erin: That doesn’t mean I have to let go of my dreams. As it turns out, cape owning and building leaping are not actually hero requirements in real life, as we’re about to hear.

Dannah: Okay, so speaking of heroes, before we get to Susannah Wesley who we’re going to talk about today, we need to introduce two other heroes of the faith. Do you know who I'm talking about?

Erin: I think I do: John and Charles Wesley. They were used mightily by God in an era of history called The Great Awakening that swept over England and the American colonies in the 1730s and 40s.

Dannah: John and Charles were adamant about paying close attention to the rhythms and habits of their lives, doing all they could to grow in personal holiness. They advocated following certain disciplines carefully. They called them “methods.”

Erin: Right, and even though they never set out to form a denomination, they are now considered the main founders of “Methodism” and the Methodist movement. 

Dannah: And we still sing some of Charles Wesley’s hymns today, like this familiar Christmas song:

Music: "Hark the Herald Angels Sing"

Hark the herald angels sing
Glory to the newborn king.

Dannah: Or maybe you sang this Charles Wesley hymn just a few weeks ago, on Resurrection Sunday.

Music: "Christ the Lord Is Risen Today"

Christ the Lord is risen today,
Alleluah!

Dannah: It’s an understatement to say, the efforts of John and Charles Wesley impacted millions of lives for Jesus.

Erin: They did! Now, we need to see the undercover hero of this story, and you're going to love it. It's their momma!

Dannah: She didn’t wear a cape, but Susanna Wesley is certainly a hero. 

Not too long ago, pastor Mark Webb spent some time digging into the life of Susanna Wesley, and he shared it with his church in the Midlands of England. We’ll be hearing excerpts from his presentation throughout today’s program. Mark and his wife Katie have two daughters, Tilly and Edith.

Mark Webb: There is a saying that having a child makes you a parent, having two children makes you a referee, and having more than two children makes you crowd control. Susanna Wesley had nineteen children, so I don’t know what makes her, but by her parents’ standards, that would have been considered quite a small family. Susanna’s parents had twenty-five children. As one author put it, her parents had a quarter of a hundred children. Susanna was the twenty-fifth of those twenty-five children, born in 1669, so the middle of the seventeenth century.

Erin: Okay, giving birth to nineteen or twenty-five children makes any mom a hero in my book! Now, only ten of Susanna’s babies lived past age two. Talk about heartbreak! So being a momma in the late 1600s automatically meant there was sadness mixed in with the joy of having children.

Dannah: Let’s back up a little bit and talk about Susanna’s background. She grew up as a preacher’s kid, didn’t she?

Erin: She did. All of you PK's are going to appreciate this. Her father’s name was Samuel Annesley. He was a godly, courageous man who suffered a lot because of his stand for God’s Word. His commitment to preaching was not only the sermons prescribed by the Church of England, but the whole counsel of God. Pastor Mark Webb explains.

Mark: At that time, Parliament passed what was known as the Act of Uniformity. The law commanded all Christians to conform to the ways of worship of the Church of England. 

There were great, significant political and spiritual reasons why many Christians felt they couldn’t conform to the ways the Church of England were doing things, to the State church. Samuel, along with other non-Anglican ministers, was forbidden to preach as a result. But he, with 2,000 other pastors, refused to conform. By doing so he risked a heavy fine; he even risked imprisonment and slavery. 

The authorities tried to have Samuel put in prison; however, they failed on numerous occasions. In fact, on one occasion the official signing Samuel’s arrest warrant suddenly dropped down dead in the act of signing it.

Dannah: Wow! In spite of the persecution Susanna’s father was facing, Mark says he was extremely self-disciplined.

Mark: He was a devoted man, a hardworking man, having committed himself to reading twenty chapters of the Bible every day since the age of five until the end of his life.

This level of devotion was passed on to his twenty-fifth child, Susanna. She committed herself as a child never to spend more time in hobbies, more time in relaxation, than she spent in Bible study and in prayer.

Erin: So that meant no Facebook or Instagram for Susanna! I'm a little jealous. That means she didn’t have all of the bleeping and blipping distractions we have.

Dannah: No kidding! No social media at all! Well, I guess the social media of the seventeenth century could have been letter writing. 

Erin: It could have been. I don't think she used emojis. Carving out that much time in her day for God’s Word set some important patterns in Susanna's life. 

She reached a point, though, where she broke away from her parents in some ways.

Mark: As a thirteen-year-old girl, she decided to leave her father’s church and join the Church of England. This was not a decision she took lightly. 

Erin: She actually took the time to research the controversies going on between the Church of England versus the Dissenters. It reminds me of one of my sons. He is such a researcher. She weighed out the pros and cons on each side.

Mark: She wrote a great history of it. She read the best of what both sides had to offer and weighed their arguments. This was at the age of twelve or thirteen at the most—clearly a very bright child!

Dannah: If nothing else, leaving her dad’s church showed a certain independent spirit in Susanna, and, shall we say, even stubbornness?

Erin: I think our strong character qualities can be wonderful tools in the hands of God, at least I hope so! But apart from the Holy Spirit’s control, they can be sins we default to. There were times in Susanna Wesley’s life where her stubbornness caused a rift in her relationships with others.

Dannah: Okay, so at age nineteen, Susanna Annesly married Samuel Wesley. Pastor Mark made this observation about the Samuels in her life.

Mark: It was to some extent unfortunate that her father was called Samuel, because her husband would also be called Samuel, as would her firstborn son, as would her brother. So in every direction of her family tree she had Samuels, which can get a little bit confusing.

Erin: Samuel Wesley, Susanna’s husband, proved to be a difficult man to live with. He was a preacher, but Mark points out . . . 

Mark: Samuel, in many ways, was completely unsuitable to be a pastor. He went into ministry, it seems, for the sense of importance and status, enjoying that position as the local vicar, which in some sense treated you as the local town celebrity. 

Although Samuel had a number of great qualities—he was a very intelligent man, a brilliant man in many ways, a man who was honored by his wife for his grace, intellect, and intelligence—yet he was a man of great troubles and problems as well. He was a real mixed bag.

Dannah: Anytime a husband has problems, it affects his wife and children, too. 

Erin: It does. Susanna’s husband didn’t manage money well, and his debts often got him in trouble. On top of that, he sometimes abandoned his family and his church for long periods of time. I can’t imagine being a single mom of nine kids!

One famous conflict between Susanna and Samuel happened over a political disagreement. Mark Webb explains.

Mark: One evening during supper Samuel prayed before dinner, as of course was their habit. He prayed for the King of England, William of Orange.

You may know that at that time there was a dispute within the royal family, within the monarchy. There was a dispute between who was the rightful King of England. Was it William of Orange or was it James II? Now, Susanna, as many people did, supported James. And Samuel, as many others did, supported William of Orange. So when her husband over dinner prayed for King William, Susanna refused to say, “Amen,” at the end of the prayer.

Samuel responded by saying, “If England must have two kings, then we must have two beds.” He told Susanna that she would never see him again because she refused to say, “Amen,” to a prayer for the King of England. He left in a fit of rage, hurling down curses upon his wife and his children. I said he was a mixed bag, and that’s perhaps an understatement.

Erin: He left their home in Epworth and took off for London. Get this. He didn’t return for five months! Well, there’s actually some question about how long it was. John Wesley later claimed he was gone for a whole year, but the math on some other dates didn’t work out, including his own birth. Regardless, Samuel was gone for a long time.

Now, supposedly he had other reasons to be gone, too, but that had to be a trial for Susanna. I wonder if she ever lay in bed, blaming herself.

Dannah: Yeah, like, “If I had just said ‘Amen’ to that silly prayer!” But clearly, he was in the wrong.

Erin: Well, things got worse. While he was away, Susanna was sick a lot of the time. Their house burned down. Actually their house burned on two different occasions, and some have wondered if it was entirely accidental. Her son John almost didn’t make it out alive when their second house burned.

But while Samuel was away, Susanna did a couple of extraordinary things: first, she wrote her husband a letter that contained both respectful rebuke and quiet determination. 

Susanna: I am a woman, but I am also the mistress of a large family. And though the superior charge of the souls contained in it lies upon you, yet in your long absence I cannot but look upon every soul you leave under my charge as a talent committed to me under a trust. 

Erin: Second, and sort of related to that, the substitute preacher who took Samuel’s place was not up to par. So Susanna took it on herself to hold a service of sorts in her home for her children and whomever else wanted to attend.

Susanna: I am neither a man nor a minister, yet as a mother and a mistress, I felt I ought to do more than I had yet done. I resolved to begin with my own children.

Mark: She would find a book of sermons, and she'd read one of the sermons to the people who gathered in the kitchen. As many as 200 people at one time would gather. The kitchen was overflowing with people not content to go to the local church where they’d hear this curate rant and rave about Samuel’s debts. They wanted to hear about Jesus. They wanted to hear about the gospel, which Susanna did in their own house.

Dannah: That’s amazing!

Erin: Probably one of the things Susanna is best known for as a mother was her unique way of having a quiet time. You can imagine that raising nine, including educating them herself, made for a lot of busyness in her life. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth helps us see how Susanna made time with God a priority, in spite of the large family.

Nancy: Now you may be thinking, Well, I’ve got three or four or six or eight children, and there is no way I can really get alone or get private. There’s no place in my house that isn’t occupied. I think of the story I’ve heard many times about Susanna Wesley, the mother of Charles and John Wesley, who had nineteen children—ten of whom died when they were little. But she still had lots of children.

It was said that she would pray two hours a day and that when she couldn’t find a private, quiet place, she would just pull her apron up over her head. She made herself a room where she could go and pray to her Father. If it’s important to us, we’ll find it. We'll find a place. We'll find a time to get alone with our heavenly Father.

Dannah: So, our undercover hero, Susanna, had a different kind of cape: her apron! I have always loved this about her and often tell young mothers about it! It strikes me, she wasn’t hiding under her smock for “me time,” but to pray for herself and her family. Those prayers bore fruit in her children’s lives and multiplied to reach millions.

Erin: They really did. Dannah, I have an apron that you sent me, because you know that one day I want to have my own cooking show. I'll confess that I don't always wear it. But Susanna’s story reminds me of some critical truths for mothering my own growing boys. Truths like:

• Prayer is my primary work.

My boys may not see me hiding under that apron, but I would hope they would tell you they see me praying.

• Get time with the Lord at all costs, even if you have to “duck and cover” in the kitchen.
• Watching me passionately serve Jesus plants the seed of service in my children’s hearts.
• Motherhood is hard, but motherhood is worth it.

Dannah: We can all glean something from Susanna’s approach. Tell us about Susanna’s list of guidelines for parents.

Erin: Okay, so I've been fascinated by these for years. So Susanna operated on the premise that if people were going to be self-disciplined adults, they first needed to be parent-disciplined children. So she came up with a list of sixteen rules for disciplining her own children. 

Dannah: And you don’t have to try to write these down. You’ll find them in the transcript of today’s program at ReviveOurHearts.com. Here they are, presented without comment.

Susanna: 

1. Eating between meals is not allowed.
2. As children they are to be in bed by 8 p.m.
3. They are required to take medicine without complaining.
4. Subdue self-will in a child, and this working together with God may save the child's soul.
5. Teach a child to pray as soon as he can speak.
6. Require all to be still during Family Worship.
7. Give them nothing that they cry for, and only that when asked for politely.
8. To prevent lying, punish no fault which is first confessed and repented of.
9. Never allow a sinful act to go unpunished.
10. Never punish a child twice for a single offense.
11. Commend and reward good behavior.
12. Any attempt to please, even if poorly performed, should be commended.
13. Preserve property rights, even in smallest matters.
14. Strictly observe all promises.
15. Require no daughter to work before she can read well.
16. Teach children to fear the rod. 

Erin: To modern ears, some of Susanna Wesley’s parenting rules might sound harsh or cruel, maybe even to others in her day. Here was her response.

Susanna: When the will of a child is totally subdued, and it is brought to revere and stand in awe of the parents, then a great many childish follies may be passed by. I insist on the conquering of the will of children betimes, because this is the only strong and rational foundation of a religious education. When this is thoroughly done, then a child is capable of being governed by reason and piety.

Erin: We won’t all parent exactly the way Susanna did. (There’s no way I can get all of my children to sit still in church!) But we can stand on her shoulders by agreeing with her that motherhood is a high and holy calling and seeing our own homes as the place where we can be heroes by pointing our children to Christ.

Dannah: So true. And our friend Pastor Mark Webb leaves us with a helpful warning for us from Susanna’s life.

Mark: Now, of course, all of these things are great, but they don’t make you a Christian. Here’s one of the dangers when looking at someone like Susanna Wesley. There’s a danger that we judge somebody’s faith by their works. And the Bible, of course, reminds us that good trees produce good fruit, and that true faith in God must produce fruit. Of course, the book of James reminds of this so powerfully, where James says, “Look, if you have true, saving faith, it must result in works. If you have no works, it proves you have dead faith.”

But there is a danger when we look at people like Susanna Wesley that because they were so strong and gifted and capable, people like that can fall into the danger of tending to want to earn their salvation and to earn favor with God through good works, to earn their salvation through being good people.

Her son John Wesley was very concerned that his mother was guilty of this. In fact, he suspected that she wasn’t actually a true Christian until much, much later on in life, that she hadn’t really understood the great truths of the gospel until her old age. She didn’t seem to grasp some of the truths of the gospel fully, that we are saved completely by grace alone through faith alone in Christ, until she was older; that we’re not saved by works, we’re not saved by achieving salvation, but by faith in Christ, who achieved it for us on our behalf.

There’s a mixture of evidence for and against this in Susanna’s life when you read through the things that she wrote (which is quite a lot). Sometimes when Susanna wrote it sounds like she believed she was trying to earn her salvation, and sometimes it seems like she understood that she could only be saved through God’s grace and through faith in Jesus.

Ultimately, it’s really hard to say. Of course, only God knows. We do need to understand the gospel to be saved—that’s very clear from the Bible—and yet, it’s also important to say that it’s not perfect theology that saves us. It’s not a perfect knowledge of everything and having all of our i’s dotted and t’s crossed to be able to be saved. Many people are saved, really, by a simple faith in the Savior, Jesus. Certainly in old age she did grasp truly what it meant to be saved by faith in such a way that it gave her an assurance of her faith that she perhaps didn’t have earlier on in life.

Dannah: She wasn’t perfect. But God used Susanna Wesley mightily to shape her children. I guess there are some lessons for all moms today to learn from Susanna, don't you think, Erin?

Erin: For sure. 

Dannah: But I think what Pastor Mark Webb just said is so important! The gospel is key to all mothering . . . all parenting . . . all of life!

Erin: Right. We as moms can’t forget that Jesus crossed everything off His “to-do” list. He fulfilled all righteousness for us . . . and for our children. The last thing we want to do is make moms feel even more under the pile! 

Dannah: And the key to that is reminding us to mother our children in faith, walking in the power of the Spirit, and trusting in the finished work of Jesus Christ. He’s earned our favor with God for us. Yes, being a mom is challenging, but it takes all the pressure off to know that our standing with God is secure in Christ. Your identity is not ultimately in your children or the way you parent them. 

But, Erin, that’s not to minimize the importance and value of godly motherhood.

Erin: You know, earlier we were talking about my longing to sweep in like a superhero and save the day. I mean, I wouldn’t mind wearing a cool costume, too. 

Well, I join Susanna in raising the alarm to call on you, moms. You’re critically needed heroes, too. Our culture is in danger of losing sight of the family’s value and the critical role only mothers can play. Our children are in danger of shouldering our anger, frustration, and bitterness if we can’t choose to see them as what they are: God-given blessings. And we as mothers are in danger of missing an important mission the Lord has for us—to mother.

[For more on Susanna Wesley: 

https://justcallmepastor.wordpress.com/tag/susanna-wesley/ ; 

https://genebrooks.blogspot.com/2012/06/susanna-wesley-on-rearing-children.html ; Pastor Mark Webb’s full lecture on Susanna Wesley:A Biography of Susanna Wesley

https://www.historyswomen.com/womenoffaith/SusannahWesley.html]

Nancy: Thank you, Erin and Dannah, for a beautiful look at the life of Susanna Wesley. We also heard today from Mark Webb, pastor of Walsall Independent Evangelical Church, in the Midlands of England.

Dannah: And thank you, too, to our friend Clare Toro for reading the words of Susanna Wesley for us.

Nancy: I’m reminded of that familiar passage from Proverbs chapter 31, describing the virtuous woman, the excellent wife. It says, starting in verse 27, “She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” And then, verse 31, “Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.”

Praise God for the example of virtuous women like Susanna. They’re a reminder that God can use you to make a huge difference in the lives of those around you.

Erin Davis authored the chapter on Susanna’s life in a new resource from Revive Our Hearts. It’s titled (Un)remarkable: Ten Ordinary Women Who Impacted Their World for Christ. This inspiring and practical book is full of lessons we can glean from their lives and their devotion to God. I’ll let you know how you can get a copy in just a moment. But first let me share with you something that is important that is happening in our ministry this month.

The month of May is when we close the books on one year of ministry and make plans for a new ministry year. So this month to close our books on this fiscal year, we’re asking the Lord for $775,000. As we start this month, I hope you will join us in praying that the Lord will meet this entire need between now and the end of May. In fact, would you also pray about how God might have you be a part of helping us reach that goal?

When you contact us with your donation of any size, we’ll send you the new book (Un)remarkable as our way of saying "thank you" for your support.

Dannah: Here’s how to make a donation: On the web, head over to ReviveOurHearts.com, and click where it says “Donate.” If you’d rather call us, that’s fine, too. Our number is 1-800-569-5959. Be sure you ask for the new collection of biographies when you get in touch. 

Mother’s Day is this coming Sunday. If you would like to call with a word of honor for your mom or for someone who played a mother-like role in your life, we’d love to hear what you have to share. We have a special call-in number set up where you can record your tribute of honor. Here’s the number: 269-697-6161. 

Call and tell us what a difference that one special woman made in your life, and we just might feature your words on an upcoming episode of Revive Our Hearts.

Nancy: Tomorrow, we’ll hear about the power of a godly legacy left by a mother and a grandmother. Three generations attended one of our True Woman conferences, and their story is one you won’t want to miss!

Please be back for Revive Our Hearts.

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth wants to inspire you to make a difference as you experience freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.