Hospitality within the Body of Christ: Kesha Griffin

Dannah Gresh: Here’s pastor’s wife Kesha Griffin.

Kesha Griffin: My husband always tries to ensure that visitors feel welcome. He says, “Members, you know each other, you’re going to talk to each other; you don’t have time for that [right now]. Go and be intentional about making our visitors feel welcome.”

It’s your attitude behind hospitality that makes it hospitality.

Dannah: This is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, co-author of Seeking Him, for Friday, April 26, 2024. I’m Dannah Gresh.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Today we’re finishing a series called “You’re Welcome Here.”We’ve been taking a look for the last three weeks on Revive Our Hearts at what the Bible says about hospitality.

Something I love about this subject of hospitality is the fact that there is no exact formula for how to practice it. You can be old or young, rich or poor, able-bodied or disabled. Because of the wonderful diversity within the body of Christ, the possibilities of how we go about being hospitable are truly endless!

Ultimately, as we’ve said throughout this month, hospitality starts in the heart. It’s recognizing the ways that God has welcomed us into relationship with Him, and then turning that welcome outward as we engage with others and invite them into our hearts and homes.

Our team here at Revive Our Hearts took the teaching that you’ve heard in this series and developed it into a new Bible, also titled You’re Welcome Here. We’ll share more about that later in today’s episode, and you can get all the details on our website, ReviveOurHearts.com.

We’ve also filmed a six-part video series to go along with the study, hosted by Erin Davis. One of the women Erin talked with for that series has a powerful story of what hospitality can look like in a local church. I’m going to turn things over to Erin to bring you that story.

Erin Davis: She’s been on Revive Our Hearts and The Deep Well before, but let me re-introduce Kesha Griffin to you. Kesha’s married to Charles Griffin III, pastor of Dayspring Christian Churchin Gardenia, California (that’s in the Los Angeles area).

Not too long ago, some of the Revive Our Hearts production teamand I got to visit Kesha in California and meet the people that she goes to church with, and let me tell you something. They understand a thing or two about hospitality! Here’s Kesha.

Kesha: I’ve been really impacted by hospitality, particularly by a pastor’s wife who I’m good friends with; she is very intentional about showing hospitality. She asks, “What would you like to eat? What are the things that you enjoy as far as food?” She takes her time to prepare, she welcomes you very warmly into her home. It’s almost embarrassing, because she’s so generous with her hospitality.

The gospel on display through hospitality is that we may have to serve somebody who doesn’t deserve it. Just like Christ died for His enemies, died for undeserving people, through hospitality you may serve someone who you think is undeserving, but you’re demonstrating God’s love through serving them.

And then, of course, you also can give them the gospel, share the gospel—not just show them practically, as far as serving, but also share with them the gospel message—and let them know why you’re able to love, why you’re able to serve, why you’re able to open up your home. It’s because of what Christ has done for you. You can share the gospel with them.

Erin: Kesha told me hospitality has been something she’s needed to grow into. Do you feel like there’s an expectation that pastors’ wives are always hospitable?

Kesha: Yes, that our home is supposed to be open twenty-four hours. There is an expectation, but I do think it’s biblical, because as believers we all are to be hospitable. So, it’s a biblical principle, it’s just that I think sometimes [people think] the church only applies that to pastors and their wives.

Erin: Have there been times when, as a pastor’s wife, even knowing it’s biblical, you’ve not wanted to show hospitality?

Kesha: Ye-e-s. Earlier on in our church, 2012, I struggled with being an isolationist, because I do have a background of childhood sexual abuse trauma. One of the ways I cope is to isolate. Isolation is not good if you’re a pastor and wife and people are expecting to come over and fellowship.

So at one point I really struggled. My husband would invite a church family over, and I would kind of give him a hard time, because I just wanted to go home and be by myself. It caused somewhat of a division between us.

Erin: Would you say you resented him, or the people coming over?

Kesha: Not really resented him, but I would get frustrated, I would get upset, because I wanted just to be alone. I was thinking, We went to church. We did the church thing. We stayed long. We fellowshipped after church. Now, this is my time! Let me go into my own comfort zone.

So it caused a bit of an issue, because I didn’t want to fellowship. I clearly remember driving, and being convicted by the Spirit, that I was just being selfish! I used the excuse that this was just how I dealt with my issues of abuse. I would clam up and isolate. I was used to being alone. 

But as a mature believer, I’m supposed to be able to fellowship and be open and welcoming.

Erin: You’re a woman who knows her Bible, and it’s hard to deny the theme of hospitality in the Scripture.

Kesha: It’s very, very clear, “Show hospitality!” So, I remember being convicted, and I just wept as I was driving. I was alone in my car and thinking about things, and I was convicted and wept.

Erin: I think we can all identify with that selfish tendency to isolate ourselves. Well, the conviction Kesha felt—and her repentance—worked herself out in her relationships at church. She introduced me to the Davis family: Cynthia, Cynthia’s sister Diana, and Diana’s son, Nicholas. 

We all sat in their living room along with Kesha’s mom, CeCe. And let me tell you, they are a fun group! They love to laugh! 

The joy they show is “in spite of” joy. I guess that could be said of all of us. We each live in a fallen world and our joy comes in spite of the difficulties we face. In the case of the Davises, their joy comes in spite of, or in the midst of, a genetic neurological disease.

Cynthia: The disease called “dystonia.” It’s a very rare disease, only four percent of the population has it.

Erin: Your mom had dystonia? 

Cynthia: Yes.

Erin: How many of your siblings have dystonia? 

Cynthia and family chime in: All of them, all six.

Kesha: The Davises have something similar to cerebral palsy or Parkinson’s disease, so it impacts their muscles. For Cynthia, she’s unable to walk without a walker. She uses a walker and a wheelchair. 

Her spine curves, her neck is unable to move all the way from left to right, it impacts her speech. For Diana, it’s mostly in her hands. Her hands have a little deformity to them and her speech is a little slower and a little slurred.

Nicholas has muscle spasms, and he also has a speech impediment, where he stutters and has a slur in his speech.

Erin: And is it progressive over your lifetime?

Cynthia: Yes. I was born healthy, but started noticing it in my neck when I was twenty-one, and it got worse. It affects my speech really badly. I had three neck surgeries. Then they put a plate in the back of my neck. Then I had a stroke during surgery. I had back surgery four times.

Erin: Back surgery is highly invasive. Living with dystonia, Cynthia has felt the rejection of others.

Kesha: Cynthia, tell them what you experienced prior to coming to our church. My beautician said, “Cynthia, why don’t you come to our church?” I said, “No, I don’t want to go to church, I don’t like church.”

Erin: Were you a follower of Jesus?

Cynthia: No.

Erin: So you didn’t have a relationship with God at all, you weren’t reading your Bible? 

Cynthia: No, I did not own a Bible. I used to go and visit different churches. I said, “No, I don’t like this church; no I don’t like this church; no I don’t like this church.”

Erin: Was it the way they treated you?

Cynthia: One church was a big church. I went there; no one greeted me, no one gave me a place to sit. I said, “What’s wrong with this church?!”

Erin: Well, that is a beautiful segue to hospitality. So, you were in a church and nobody was hospitable to you? You were on your walker and nobody accommodated that?

Cynthia: No one said, “Hello, how you doing?” Nobody said, “You can sit here,” you know.

Erin: That makes me really sad.

Cynthia: I said, “What’s wrong with this church? I want to leave!” I felt really hurt!

Erin: I had to take a class for seminary on disability, and one of our assignments was, we had to be in a wheelchair for a certain amount of time, and we had to go to a certain number of places. I did it. People looked at me like they were disgusted with me. 

There was no way for them to know if I wasn’t legitimately handicapped. It’s not like they knew, “She’s doing this for an assignment; she’s faking it.” So they either looked past me, like they wanted to pretend I wasn’t there, or they looked at me with disdain. 

It was very eye-opening because I’m currently able-bodied. I probably won’t always be. Most of us are not able-bodied our whole lives. Then when my mom got sick with Alzheimer’s . . . She’s always been very vibrant, will light up a room, she’s a friend to everybody. Then, the only way I know how to put it is, people treated her like a potted plant.

They would look past her, talk over her, assume she couldn’t understand them. They talk dumb to her, like she was dumb. It has been very eye-opening.

[Erin switches back to Kesha’s part in Cynthia’s story.] God had already been working in Kesha’s heart in the area of hospitality for a couple of years when Cynthia first visited Dayspring ChristianChurch. Love and warmth permeate the whole church!

Kesha: The Davises joined our church in 2014 or 2015, and they’ve been there ever since. Unfortunately, their own blood family disowned them because of their disability. Can you imagine having a disability and not having true family? It’s just your small family of three, and coming into a church . . .

Erin: Especially when you had tried that before and experienced the same kind of rejection you’d experienced from your family. 

Kesha: Being overlooked, not being greeted. That’s a little scary and intimidating. So, thankfully, our church is warm and welcoming and friendly. We just welcomed them as if they were part of our family already. [to Cynthia:] I think you told me that the first day you came, you needed prayer because you were going into knee surgery.

Cynthia: Yes, I went to the pastor and said, “Can you pray for me? I’m going into surgery next week?” He said, “Sure.” He got one of the elder ladies to come and get with him to pray for me. He prayed for me, and I was, “Ah, he cares for me. I said, “I’m going to join this church!”

Kesha: That was all on your very first time at the church.

Cynthia: The preaching is so true!

Pastor Charles Griffin III (Kesha’s husband): My goal today is to look in the book of Peter here, and to highlight things that we tend to forget while we are suffering.

Erin: Pastor Charles Griffin III has a gospel-centered perspective on suffering.

Pastor Griffin: We tend to forget certain things, I almost really want to say we tend to forget that Jesus Christ is still sovereign and He is still on the throne. He is still Ruler of rulers, King of kings and Lord of lords . . . and whatever you think is going on. He’s designed that for your good, so stop complaining!

Cynthia: I never heard preaching like that before! God just convicted me and said, “Cynthia, you’re living in the world and then coming to church. You can’t do both.” 

I said, “Lord, please help me!” I just left that world and came to our church.”

I came to the Lord, to the glory of the Lord, and the Lord shows me and gives me a chance to show you all. I don’t have to live that world to get joy. I used to think that church was boring, the people were boring. “Oh, you guys don’t do this, you don’t do that?” 

Diana: Can’t have fun. 

Cynthia: Whoa! Then I said, “Lord, thank You Lord. You saved me!” He did, the Lord saved me!

Kesha: My husband always tries to ensure that visitors feel welcome. He says, “Members, you guys know each other, you’re going to talk to each other; you don’t have time for that [right now]. Go and be intentional about making our visitors feel welcome!” So that’s just kind of the culture of our church.

Cynthia: I never knew that existed! Oh my goodness, I never dreamed of that kind of welcome and warmth. I said, “Wow, I never felt that before!”

Song: 

When your hurt’s too much to bear,
I can’t make it disappear, 
But I know how to weep with those who weep.
Laugh a laugh and cry a tear.
Say “yes” to trust and “no” to fear. 
Do you know you’re welcome here with me?

Kesha: So when she came, we tried to show her Christ. Of course, we see your disability, but we didn’t treat them as if they had a disability—mentally and emotionally. That [the disability] wasn’t all we saw. We just became really close with them. Fast-forward a few years, my mom started to be Cynthia’s caretaker.

Erin: This is Kesha’s momma, CeCe.

CeCe: She’s an encouragement to me! When I’m aching, I just think about her. She doesn’t complain; she’s always smiling! She’s my “bestie” now. I started in 2017 helping her, coming from the post office. We just hang out together.

Before I was her caretaker, though, we would go shopping and stuff . . . because this is a shopaholic! It’s been a blessing to help her. She takes her own shower, then when she’s finished I come in and tend for her, straighten up her room, prepare her food.

She has somebody Monday through Friday, six hours a day, who prepares everything and has it ready for the weekend, basically. So I come in and just help her . . . grocery shop, too. I tried to retire, but it didn’t happen! So I’m fine! [laughter]

Erin: I very much think of care-giving as ministry. Do you see care-giving as ministry?

CeCe: I never really looked at it as ministry; this is something that we’re called to do—to love, and that’s part of it.

Erin: We’re called to do it, but not everybody does it.

Kesha: I see them growing not just closer to the Lord but also more confident that they are in the image of God still, even with their physical disabilities.

Erin: Do you know what the word for that is? “Dignity.” They have dignity.

Kesha: Yeah, that is the word!

Erin: And that comes from knowing, “I’m made in the image of God. I have value, no matter what happens to my hands, no matter what happens to my neck, if my speech continues to slur, I have dignity because God made me.”

Kesha: . . . because God made me. That has allowed them to open up their hearts and their home to others now. It’s funny. They have limitations so they can’t physically get up and serve, but they have grown to the point, and we’ve helped them understand, that they still can be used by God where they are.

So, no, you can’t get up and physically help us or make a plate or serve us, but you can open up your home. That’s what you can do.

Erin: How did that happen? How did that switch get flipped from you welcoming them in to them saying, “We welcome you in!”

Kesha: We challenged them in that way.

Erin: Really?!

Kesha: Yes, gently and lovingly saying, “We understand that you are used to being served. You have caretakers. Every day there is someone there to take care of you. But what can you do? What gifts can you use to serve others? Because we’re all called to serve others.” And that was the challenge, and they understood what we meant by that.

Erin: Wow. And this was after they had given their lives to Christ, and they were starting to mature in their faith?

Kesha: They were like, “Well, what can I do?” They were at that point by then.

Erin: Probably nobody had challenged them on that.

Kesha: Never. It wasn’t even a question in their minds. 

Erin: People had probably, consciously or unconsciously, written them off as fit to serve, because they have disabilities.

Kesha: They do have disabilities. So it never crossed their minds, “Yes, there are some things that I can do!” 

So [to the Davises:], “What can you do in your limitations? You have this gorgeous home! Open up your home and host. We’ll come and we’ll serve; open up your home and host!” Now every time we have something, they want to have us over!

Erin: You were sharing that your church has your church Christmas party here in their backyard. 

Kesha: Yes, they have it in their backyard. We’ll have game night. We’ll just come, we’ll hang out, we’ll have fellowship and meals, and they love it! They feel that they’re being used by God to serve His people. They have a purpose!

Erin: Here’s how Kesha, CeCe, Cynthia, Diana, and Nicholas served me: just after the conversation you’ve been listening to took place, I got a hard phone call. My husband Jason called to let me know that Mimi, his grandma—whom we’re very close to—had gone home to be with Jesus. The grief was real and instant.

And these new friends of mine, they surrounded me. They gave me hugs. They expressed words of comfort. They prayed with me right there. They didn’t shy away from the tears that were welling up in my eyes. In other words, they gave me comfort, they showed me hospitality. 

Kesha: If it doesn’t cost you anything, what type of love is it, truly? That’s what this family has taught us, what true sacrificial love looks like. I hope we’ve done that for them [the Davises affirm that], and they feel that they understand that we sacrifice because we love them, and they show us [they sacrifice because they love us]. That’s what we ought to do, we ought to sacrifice. The Lord has been using this family in our lives. If you speak to anyone in our church, they’re going to tell you the same thing. They have challenged us in our faith!

Nancy: Erin Davis and Kesha Griffin have been showing us what hospitality can look like in a local church. They are living out Romans 12, verse 13, which encourages us to share with the saints in their needs and pursue hospitality.

You’ll be able to see this story on video in an upcoming episode of a new series called You’re Welcome Here. It’s a six-week video series designed to go along with a new Bible study based on the teaching you’ve been hearing this month on Revive Our Hearts.

Dannah: So imagine this: you sitting in your home surrounded by women, maybe some old and new friends, walking through the six-week You’re Welcome Here study. You’re discussing and processing the content, watching one of the six videos to accompany each lesson—all while practicing hospitality—the very thing you’re learning about!

You can find out more about the study, the videos, and other related resources when you visit ReviveOurHearts.com/hospitality. The You’re Welcome Here study is available to you right now when you make a donation of any amount to Revive Our Hearts. It’s a small way we’d like to thank you for supporting the work God is doing through this ministry.

Visit ReviveOurHearts.com to give, or call us at 1-800-569-5959 and request your copy of the study.

Nancy: Next Monday and Tuesday, Amanda Kassian will be here to talk about some of the things that can get in the way of our practicing hospitality. She’ll take us to the parable of the Good Samaritan to glean some helpful lessons for all of us about gospel-centered hospitality.

If you want to start thinking about that passage, you’ll find it in Luke chapter 10, beginning in verse 25. Have a wonderful weekend! I hope you’ll look for moments to welcome someone at church! 

And then, please be back next week for Revive Our Hearts! 

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness and fruitfulness in Christ!

*Offers available only during the broadcast of the podcast season.