Adorned - Week 6: You Don't Say

With Dámaris Carbaugh

How might our interactions look different if our underlying desire was that others would think more of Jesus?

About the Speaker

Dámaris Carbaugh

Dámaris Carbaugh

Dámaris Carbaugh’s depth of love and devotion for her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, is evident through her special talent of song and powerful speaking ministry. After years of being …

Read More

Watch the drama that accompanies this message: You Don't Say

Dámaris Carbaugh: Hello, ladies. God bless you. I have been given the task of speaking to you, or summarizing, if you please, of the matter of abstaining from slander.

This is chapter 6 in the wonderful book, Adorned. I love how Nancy gave it this title: “You Don’t Say.”

Words matter. Words can be wonderful . . . and words can be so hurtful.

Our God describes Himself as The Word. Remember, in chapter 1 of John, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God” (v. 1)?

So when it comes to words, talking, how careful we must be as we try to model to our younger sisters (I’m sixty-two, so I’m definitely the older one here) that what we say is so important. I am so thankful that the Word of God is very clear to what should be coming out of our mouths. Can you say, “Amen”? (Audience responds with “Amen!”)

This is not in the script, but I’m going to stop for thirty seconds to tell you something. I did jingles for many years—I sang commercials. They haven’t gone away. Have you noticed? Why? Because they work. People get degrees in marketing because when you push something the right way, people will buy it, people will get it. So I have a jingle for you tonight. Do you want to hear it? (Audience replies, “Yes!”) Read your Bible. (laughter and applause) I’m just saying.

I’m embarrassed to tell you how long it took me, but everything that has blessed you this day has come from women that are saturated in the Word of God—not just preparing sermons, but living it. It’s like the song that I sang, which I did not write, but I thank God for the writer: “I want to live in Your Word until You Word is living in me.” Amen!

Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fit the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

I have prayed that the Lord would help me to do just that in these moments that I have been given.

When I read this chapter about slander, I tried to remember when or if I had slandered anyone. Believe me, I’ve lied. As a teenager, I made up stuff that was ridiculous. I lived in New York City. My mother never let us go to the street and play, so all my city girlfriends had boyfriends. I didn’t. So I made up stories. I had a boyfriend in every burrow. (laughter) Lies. I know what it’s like to lie. So lying is something I’m very acquainted with.

Gossiping is also something I’ve done. I’m embarrassed, but I have blurted out what I don’t like about this or that person, which is wrong.

But slander—this one was a bit of a challenge for me.

Nancy clearly states that slander is not always a lie. But slander always hurts someone. Again, I asked myself, “Who have I slandered?” I wanted to think of an actual lie that I said about someone because I wanted them to look bad in someone else’s eyes. Had I done that? I really had a hard time trying to remember.

But then, ladies, the Holy Spirit made something very clear to me. He said, “Dámaris, slander is also when you behave in a way that misrepresents the Lord Jesus Christ. You bear His name. You are a Christian.”

Have I made someone think less of Jesus because of the way I’ve treated them or spoken to them or ignored them?

Your life should be one that reflects His character. Are you lying to …

Adorned - Week 6: You Don't Say Get Your Copy

Woman to woman.
Older and younger.
Side by side.
Life on life.
This is God's good and beautiful plan.