Love Is Kind

Claire Black: This is True Girl a podcast for girls and their moms. Together, we’ll explore God’s truth for us one drive at a time. Buckle up! It’s time to turn carpool into a treasured mom/daughter time where you both hear truth from God’s Word, the Bible!

Do you ever feel like you don’t really have any friends? Or maybe you just don’t have a best friend? Or it could also be that the friendships you do have are filled with a lot of drama. 

Well, you’re in the right place! During this season of the True Girl podcast we’re learning seven secrets to true friendship. Today, we’ll learn about a surprising friendship super power. I’m talking about kindness. Kindness may not seem like a super power, but stick around to find out what it really is. 

True Girl is cohosted by Dannah Gresh, author of Talking with Your Daughter about Best Friends and Mean Girls. Let’s get moving for season 4, episode 2 titled, “Love Overflows with Acts of Kindness” Here’s your cohost Staci Rudolph.

Staci Rudolph: Welcome back True Girl. How ya doing with our challenge to memorize 1 Corinthians chapter 13? If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you need to go back and listen to episode one of season four. We challenged you to hide 1 Corinthians 13 in your heart! Right, Dannah?

Dannah Gresh: Yep! Basically, we are memorizing 1 Corinthians 13 so that we can understand the love of Jesus better. See, this book of the Bible, known as the love chapter, describes qualities of His love. The apostle Paul wrote it to help the people in the church of Corinth solve some of their own friendship problems. He was saying, “Hey, you guys are supposed to be learning to love like Jesus!” Then, he described what Jesus’ love looks like.

I don’t know about you, but I want to learn to love like Jesus better. One reason is so I can solve my relationship problems. I think hiding God’s Word in my heart is always a way to make me more like Jesus. In this case, I feel 1 Corinthians 13 is going to help me love my friends well.

Staci: Exactly. We cannot love people well until we learn to love like Jesus does. That means we work on our friendship with Him. 

Dannah: Yeah. 

Staci: So, starting this week, we’ll be studying seven secrets or qualities of true friendship found in 1 Corinthians 13. Of course, there are more than seven in the chapter, but we’re going to tackle just a few.

So Dannah, speaking of friendship, do you ever have friendship drama?

Dannah: Oh, yes! I just had a whole bunch actually, because friendships can be kind of a lot of work. Some of my closest friendships have experienced the biggest drama. What about you, Staci?

Staci: Yeah. I mean, unfortunately, I’ve definitely had my share of friendship drama. Sometimes it’s involved working through things with a friend, but other times it’s been learning how to move forward after a friendship has ended and I’m feeling kind of lonely, like I have no friends.

Dannah: Yeah. Friendship drama can surely make a girl feel pretty sad. When we don’t have a friend or don’t feel like we have enough friends, sometimes we often feel dissatisfied with our lives.

Well, today we’re going to learn about a super power that will help solve a whole lot of friendship problems. I’m talking about kindness. In one study . . .

Staci: Okay, here comes the research geek! 

Dannah: Yeah, wait until you hear this one, Staci.

Staci: Okay, I’m waiting.

Dannah: In one study, nineteen classrooms full of tweens were challenged to commit one random act of kindness a week—like helping someone with their homework or baking cookies for someone stuck at home. These students also took time to write about three pleasant experiences they had that week. The researchers wanted to see what happened when tweens were intentionally kind and thoughtful. 

Staci: And?

Dannah: Well, not only did these students feel happier and more satisfied with life. But get this, Staci, they reported getting one new friendship per week!

Staci: You don’t say!

Dannah: I do say. 

Well, this is exciting. What you’re hearing ladies is that God’s Word can be trusted, because as we come to the first way to pursue love based on 1 Corinthians 13, you’ll see this when you read verses 4 and 5. 

Staci: It’s time for your power verse of the day. 

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 

Dannah: “Love is patient and kind.” Well, there it is!

Staci: There it is.

Dannah: If you’re going to pursue love, you’ve got to be patient and kind. Real love overflows with acts of kindness.

Staci: When you help your Grammy weed her flower bed, or you give your mom a back rub on a day that was super stressful for her, you are pursuing love by being kind.

Dannah: Yep, I actually recommend that one—the back rub thing! (Mom, you’re welcome.) 

Staci, what’s happening when we are kind is this: we’re seeing a need and moving toward it!

Staci: Hmm, that sounds a little familiar. I think we talked about that last week. 

So, true girl, raise your hand if you've ever seen someone’s need and expressed kindness by helping them. Go ahead. I know I can’t see if you’re raising it, but your mom can. If you're raising your hand right now, you have lived out today’s power verse. And I say Bravo!

Dannah: Me too! Bravisimo!

Staci: Ya know, it’s not just our grammy and our mom who have needs. There are needs all over the place. The Bible says we’re supposed to “love our neighbor.” So, we need to see and move toward the needs of our neighbors with acts of kindness.

Dannah: Now, who exactly qualifies as your neighbor? Well, that’s a really big question. In fact, Jesus was once asked that very same question once. He answered it by telling the story of the Good Samaritan. 

Staci: Okay now, Dannah, I hear that musical cue. Can I tell the story of the Good Samaritan?

Dannah: You go for it!

Staci: Okay, this is the SRV. The Staci Rudolph Version.

Dannah: Okay, you can’t do that, but go for it.

Staci: A man was walking along minding his own beeswax . . .

Dannah: Okay, I see what you mean about that SRV. 

Staci: . . . when suddenly an angry mob of men jumped out from behind some rocks.They kicked and beat that poor guy up. They took all his clothes and stole everything he had. And they left him there to die in the hot sun. 

Soon, a priest came by and saw him lying there. A priest is kind of another word for pastor. Now, you’d think the pastor would help, right? Nope, not this one! He just stuck his nose up in the air and passed that dying man right on by. 

Next a Levite—that’s like an specially appointed leader of the church—walked by. He too thought it was way too much work to help that poor guy. And after all, he was just so important and so busy.

Finally, a Samaritan walked by. Now, no one liked Samaritans. They were . . . different. And people then didn’t like different. So, Samaritans had a bad reputation that they didn’t totally deserve. But this man knew what it was like to be walked by and ignored. He felt bad for the man lying in the road. 

This Samaritan took the rest of the day to get the dying man to a local inn there. He paid for him to get medical help and to receive food and nourishment. He paid for him to stay there until he was fully well. 

The end

Dannah: Wow, that's really good, Staci!

Staci: But after the story, Jesus asked a question. Let me ask it to you: Which of the three who walked by that man in the street was a good neighbor?

Dannah: Oh, I think we all know that answer, right true girl? It was the Samaritan.

Staci: That’s right! And Jesus said, “Go be like that Samaritan.” I think those words are for you and me today. We need to be kind like that Samaritan who saw a need and moved toward it.

Dannah: So, basically, our definition of neighbor should sound something like this. A neighbor is anyone God decides you need to bump into today who has a need you can move towards. 

Staci: Yes! Absolutely!

Dannah: Now, I have to tell you that this doesn’t mean pursuing love by being a kind and good neighbor is always going well received. 

See, I remember a time when my son, Robby, and two of his high school buddies headed out into the neighborhood of their Christian high school. They had boxes of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. 

They had been challenged by their school, Grace Prep, to display random acts of kindness and they were supposed to say, “We just wanted to show you God’s love in a practical way.”

Well, out in that neighborhood, they found a house that looked like a good one. They knocked on the door, and they were greeted by a very grouchy woman. 

The guys offered her their box of chocolate chip cookies, and then they proudly said, “We just wanted to show you God’s love in a practical way, so we made some cookies.”

The woman looked suspicious. She said, “You're telling me that three teenage boys are just out delivering cookies for the fun of it? I bet it's a dead animal in that box.”

I mean, Staci, she actually accused them of putting a dead animal in that cookie box! And at the same time she grabbed that box of cookies and then she said, “Thanks,” very sarcastically as she slammed the door in their face. 

Staci: That is probably not what they were hoping for.

Dannah: Not at all. But sometimes that is how our kindness is received, and we need to be prepared for that and just trust God.

That afternoon, the boys were really discouraged, but I told them, “Let’s pray for the woman and see what happens”. 

They did. Two weeks later, God showed them what it was all about. A letter arrived at their school. It was from the woman. 

“I'm sorry,” she wrote. “You see, it's been a really rough couple of months for me and my two daughters. My husband died recently. The very morning that you came, the three of us got together, and we prayed. We asked God to show us in a very real way if He still loved us. We could not have imagined three teenage boys showing up at our door to deliver cookies. And to say, ‘We just wanted to show you God's love in a practical way.’ It seemed impossible, but thank you. We needed it more than you can ever imagine.”

Staci: Now, that is cool! Those boys . . . and Grace Prep . . . had a new friend in that neighborhood, all because of a random act of kindness. 

Dannah: Yup. Kindness is a super power—not because you get to get friends out of it. But because it’s one way we can communicate the supernatural love of God. Those boys had no idea that that woman needed encouragement the day they delivered those cookies. But God did!

Staci: True girl, you never know how much the people you bump into today need God’s kindness. And we get to carry that for Him. 

And I have to say this: while it’s true that kindness can help you find and make friends, that is not the ultimate reason to be kind. We are kind because God is kind, and He wants us to be like Him.

Dannah: Exactly. Alright girls, are you ready for your True Girl challenge of the week?

Staci: Here it is. We want you to go out and do a random act of kindness. Maybe you'll deliver warm cookies to someone, or you could deliver hot chocolate to some tired bus drivers. Maybe you'll rake someone's leaves, or just help your dad clean up the garage. Keep it simple, but do something kind.

Dannah: Those are all good examples, Staci! Basically, what we’re saying is: find someone, look for their need, and show them God's love in a practical way. 

Staci: Ready. Set. Go!

Claire: This is exciting! I wonder, Who will God let you bump into? Keep your eyes open for someone who has a need, maybe that’s your chance to show kindness. 

For more help on how to plan a random act of kindness, get a copy of Talking with Your Daughter about Best Friends and Mean Girls by Dannah Gresh. It goes really nicely with this season of the True Girl podcast. Each week, you’ll have a simple, easy-to-plan, mom/daughter date that helps you take a deeper dive into God’s truth about friendship. Get a copy of that book at MyTrueGirl.com. While you’re there you can learn more about our mom/daughter discipleship tools. Again that’s MyTrueGirl.com.

Now, your random act of kindness might be most meaningful if you do it anonymously, but your act of kindness could also encourage other people to do it too. So, if you feel comfortable, ask your mom to post a photo of your act of kindness on social media. Tag True Girl and tell us your story.

I sure hope no one slams the door in your face! But if they do, pray for them, and remember: “love is patient and kind.”

We’re going to talk about patience next time on the True Girl podcast. 

True Girl is a production of Revive Our Hearts, calling women of all ages to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.