Episode 7: You Can’t Wrap Him in Bubble Wrap

Joy McClain: Does your vision for your son’s future include risk? Here’s Erin Davis.

Erin Davis: Have we unintentionally communicated that the Christian life is about going to church on Sunday and reading the Bible before bed? When really, what the Bible teaches is the Christian life is a call to die.

Joy: This is The Deep Well with Erin Davis. I’m Joy McClain. Every mom feels responsible to keep her children safe! I remember when I had littles I wanted to make sure they didn’t cross the street alone or, “Don’t talk to strangers!”

But the Lord gives moms an even greater calling than providing safety. Erin’s going to explain.

Erin: Let me tell you about my fourth-born, Ezra. He has blonde hair and a double cowlick and an always-on smile! He’s currently missing two teeth—if you ask him he’ll show you! There’s never been a boy in the history of boys who wanted to lose his teeth more than he did. He just wiggled ’em out when he was still four!

He was also born without a risk-regulator. He was not quite two the first time he ran away from home. We found him in a neighbor’s field riding his red Little Tykes motorcycle, and that tells you everything you need to know about Ezra!

For a long time our motto was, “All five to keep him alive,” because it took all the rest of us to keep our eyes on him to make sure he was safe! I have earned every single gray hair on my head! Now, not all of our four boys are this drawn to danger—thank You, Jesus! But I hope all of them realize that following Jesus is the grand adventure their hearts were made to crave!

 

Now, I do want to keep Ezra safe, and I do want to show him that there are some unnecessary risks. But I want to be careful, because I also want to teach him there are some risks worth taking. That’s not because being a Christian always means you’ll be sent to a faraway land as a missionary—sometimes it does. 

But what it means for all of us as followers of Jesus is that we are called to live for something—Someone—greater than ourselves. We’ve talked about it in this series: we all have flesh and our flesh is always clamoring, “Me first! Me first! Me first!”

l believe there’s something inside every man, and therefore something inside every boy, that longs to abandon self-centered living and give their lives to something bigger than themself! Now, John the Baptist certainly would have given his mama a gray hair or two if she had not already been so old when he was born.

Let’s consider his words recorded in John 3:30–36. He starts with this famous and important phrase in v. 30: “He must increase, but I must decrease.” Verse 31, he said, 

“He who comes from above is above all. He who is of the earth belongs to the earth and speaks in an earthly way. He who comes from heaven is above all.” 

He bears witness to what he has seen and heard, yet no one receives his testimony. Whoever receives his testimony sets his seal to this, that God is true. For he whom God has sent utters the words of God, for he gives the Spirit without measure.”

“The Father loves the Son and has given all things into his hand. Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.” 

Now, we have the blessing of being New Testament followers of Jesus, post-Pentecost, so a lot of this we’ve heard before.

But imagine John saying these things in the wilderness. This would have been radical! And John’s brass-tacks summary of what it means to live for Jesus is what we all need to be reminded of: it’s less of me, more of Him; less of me, more of Him. That’s true men and women, young and old: less of us, more of Him. But that’s so much easier said than done!

This passage also gives us the reason why. John goes on to describe these supernatural big truths about Jesus. He was saying, “Yes, I want less of me and yes, I want more of Him. But this is why: I want to live beyond self-seeking validation and pleasure.” 

We know that, because John was willing to live a radical counterculture life. Why did he want to do that? Because he recognized who Jesus is. He was saying, “Less of me, more of Him—because Jesus is the One my soul was made to long for.”

“Less of me, more of Him because Jesus is the giver of eternal life, and I’m going to live for Him!” I hope you know your Bible well enough to know what that cost John. He certainly didn’t live a safe life!

Several years ago I got an invitation to teach at a remote fishing village in Alaska. The trip would have been demanding under normal circumstances, but after I said “yes,” I found out I was pregnant with Ezra!

I was six months pregnant when I took that long journey, which included twenty-four hours of commercial flights. Then my instructions when I got to Kodiak were, “Walk across the street to the airport and tell the guys at the coffee shop you need a flight.” I did. I’m not sure that was a flight!

It was a bush plane—kind of. I had to fly in that bush plane into that remote fishing village, and the missionary who had called me to come and teach said that there would be a landing strip. She was being generous. 

That bush plane dropped me off in a field. There were no cities. There were no lights. There were no people. There I was, six months pregnant, ready to follow the call to teach. Fortunately, the missionary came and picked me up!

But I spent that week teaching the Bible to a tribe of people who wanted nothing to do with Jesus! That baby boy and I took a risk before he had even taken a breath. Why? Because I want Ezra to know—and I want his brothers to know—that whatever price they are asked to pay for Jesus, they should pay it, because He’s worthy!

This is what John was describing in verse 31: “He who comes from above is above all. He who is of the earth belongs to the earth and speaks in an earthly way. He who comes from heaven is above all.” He’s talking about the supremacy of Jesus Christ!

There’s none like Him! Everything is for Him; everything is because of Him; everything is by Him. He’s above everything you could ever live your life for . . . and there are a lot of things we could live our lives for.

It’s what Paul (another boy who probably gave his mom a gray hair or two!) described in Colossians 3:1–4. He said: 

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God.

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

John and Paul are echoing the same sentiment: “Get your eyes off of what is down here. What is down here is just good kindling, it’s going to make a good bonfire someday. Get your eyes on what is up there—not what is up there but who is up there. Live for who is up there, Jesus, who is above all!”

In Colossians 3:3, Paul said, “For you have died.” Death is risky. And yet that’s how Paul described what faith in Jesus requires. Because of grace we no longer face the penalty of death for our sin.

Instead, we offer a daily death, a daily laying down of our own rights, a daily laying down of our own plans, a daily laying down of our own desires. And doesn’t it feel like death? But the reason we do it, the reason we say, “Less of me and more of You”. . . 

I have a friend praying for me right now as this is happening. Yesterday she asked me, “How can I pray for you?” I said, “Less of me and more of Him.” I meant it! We do that. We die daily, so that we can pick up the life that God has for us, and so that we can live with our eyes focused on Jesus.

Do I want my boys to be safe? Of course I do. There’s an ongoing dialogue I’ve had with the Lord since they were in my belly, which is that He has made me to protect them! Mama Bear instincts are real, and I have had that Mama Bear rise up a time or two.

I want to take care of them. I’m supposed to be a fence between them and a wicked world. But, to embrace God’s design and to help my sons do the same means that I also have to encourage them to obey Jesus even when it’s costly. And it will be costly!

 

Jesus didn’t trick us into this. He told us we’d be persecuted, we’d be hated, that we’d face trials. And at some point in our walk with the Lord we accept that to be true for us, but it can be hard to accept that that’s also true for our children.

Sometimes in the life of our boys it looks as simple as inviting the new kid at school to youth group. There’s a social cost there. It might seem trivial to us, but it’s not to them. And we need to train them from young, “Whatever it costs you to follow and obey Jesus, pay it, because He’s worthy.” 

We face this in our family of all boys. Sometimes it means missing Sunday practices knowing that it means you will sit the bench in the next game. Those are not easy conversations. Our boys want to play ball! We want them to play ball.

It’s not fun to be a part of the team and go to all the practices and then have to ride the bench for an entire game because you made a choice—or your parents helped you make a choice. But in making that decision we’re training them: whatever it costs you to follow and obey Jesus, you pay it, because He’s worthy!

Sometimes it means that, like we talked about in a previous episode, they have to own up to their sin in ways that are embarrassing. Marching that little toddler back to the preschool teacher to own up to the stolen seashells, that was pretty benign. She held him in a big hug and loved on him.

But the older they get, sometimes they have to own up to mistakes that are a lot bigger . . . and it costs them a lot more. We need to go with them, because they need to learn, “You follow and obey Jesus even when it’s costly, because He’s worthy!”

How can we expect our boys to pay the price to follow Jesus in a culture that is increasingly hostile toward Jesus if they don’t have any practice in paying the price now? Christian parents, I’m going to step on your toes (know that I’m going to step on my own toes). I don’t know how many of us when our kids get to this decision making phase . . . Maybe God calls them somewhere foreign or maybe He calls them into a career field where they’re never going to have two nickels to rub together . . . and we know it. Maybe they’ve been on a certain trajectory of their life and God redirects them. And we, on some level, don’t support them. We’ve got to teach them at every level: following Jesus is costly, and you should pay it, because He’s worthy! 

I wonder if you’ve done this, I have. Have we unintentionally communicated that the Christian life is about going to church on Sunday and reading the Bible before bed, when really, what the Bible teaches is, the Christian life is a call to die.

Have you let your own fears for your child prevent you from taking risks to build the kingdom? Have you let your fears for your child prevent them from taking risks for the kingdom? There is not a roll of bubble wrap big enough to protect your boy from every dart the enemy will hurl at him.

And it’s true: the Christian life is not a life without risk. But there is not a more worthwhile cause for your son to give his life to than the cause of Christ! It will cost him, it will cost you . . . and He’s worthy!

I think about that song, “Mary Did You Know?”I sang it with a happy smile until I had sons of my own, and now I can’t get through it, because Mary didn’t know. She knew that she was blessed among women, She knew that she had been chosen to bring the Savior of the world into the world. She said, “Yes, Lord! May it be to me according to your will.” (see Luke 1:38] What the angel didn’t tell her at that moment was that she would stand at the cross and watch her boy be crucified!

Now, my sons aren’t ever going to have to pay that price, but they are going to have to pay a price. And what Mary did is, she stayed close and she watched it unfold. I am sure she had worries, and I am sure she had fears. At times she tried to talk Him out of it.

But ultimately, she knew Jesus had to do His Father’s will. We need to adopt that same mindset, Mama, and who is going to hurt? I always get teary with those videos on social media where the child grows up and graduates from college with honors, and then he or she places the brightly colored stole that’s meant to announce their accomplishments around the neck of their mama!

It’s symbolic of the reality that that child knows that it was their mama sacrificing that got them to that place of honor. And that’s a pretty beautiful picture of how the Kingdom works. One day your son will stand before the Lord, and he’s going to give an account for the life he has lived.

And 1 Corinthians 9:24–25 describes an imperishable crown that will be given to those who love Jesus. We don’t earn it, of course, it’s all grace. He’s not going to give it to you, Mama, he’s going to take it off of his head, and he’s going to throw it at the feet of His Savior, because His Savior is worthy!

But in that moment, I assure you, you will not wish you had kept him wrapped in bubble wrap! You will not wish that the message you communicated to your son most often was, “Play it safe!” You will not wish that he had never taken a risk to make Jesus’ name known.

You will be so grateful that God used your boy to build His Kingdom, and you will be so grateful that your boy obeyed!—even though it was costly—because Jesus is worthy! I don’t know how it will all work. I don’t know if I’ll be there when my boys get their crowns. I don’t know what I’ll say or what I’ll do, but let’s imagine . . .

Let’s imagine we’re in that moment and your son has been awarded the Crown of Life and the crowns for serving his King. The next time you want to encourage your boy to play it safe, I want you to imagine his King saying these words: “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master” (Matt. 25:23).

Joy: We all know moms are called to protect their children, but Erin Davis has been pointing us to an even higher calling, to help our boys build God’s Kingdom, no matter the risk! Erin and Jason Davis want to help you do that. They’ve written a new book Lies Boys Believe and the Epic Quest for Truth.

You can get the book and the parents’ guide at ReviveOurHearts.com. And this month we will send you a copy as our way of saying thanks when you donate to Revive Our Hearts, the ministry that produces The Deep Well. Just visit ReviveOurHearts.com, click on Lies Boy Believe, make your donation, and let us know you’d like the book.

Erin: And our cohost this season is an author as well. Joy McClain wrote a book called Waiting for His Heart: Lessons from a Wife Who Chose to Stay. God has done an amazing work in Joy’s life and in her marriage. You’ll read all about that in her book. 

You can watch a video the Revive Our Hearts team made with Joy and her husband, Mark. Again, visit ReviveOurHearts.com and search for the name of this season’s cohost, Joy McClain.

Joy: Time for Erin Unscripted. Erin, one mom is living out exactly what you’ve talked about today. She’s been in our audience listening, and she has this to share.

Erin Unscripted

Karen: Hi, I’m Karen. Erin, I just want to thank you for the statement, “You can’t wrap them in bubble wrap.” I was thinking I had so many things I could do today besides drive up here, and I think this just affirmed my own son’s calling that following Jesus is costly. My son should pay it, because He is worth it.

I have a son and daughter-in-law and two grandbabies serving in South Africa as missionaries. My son said to me as a teenager, “Mom, I want to live well. I don’t want to live long.” He just has a heart and a desire to serve others.

Since they’ve been there—they’ve been there two-and-a-half years—they’ve been through riots, they’ve been through flooding, and they’ve been through fire. And so, it’s costly. It’s costly not just for them but for us that have remained here at home. 

We’re praying for their visas. They’re waiting to get their visas renewed so that they can come home on furlough. I’ve not met my youngest grandbaby. So, we’re praying for their visas so they’ll be able to come home and we can just be able to love on them. I know their heart is to go back.

We did get to go visit them a year-and-a-half ago, so I know they’re in their element. My son and my daughter-in-law and their two boys, they love it over there. They’re thriving, and they’re just serving the Lord, doing what He called them to do. 

I’m just thankful I did not wrap him in bubble wrap! So thank you for that message today; that was for me.

Erin: That’s beautiful! I want to say something, and then I want to pray for your son. We talked in a previous episode about God’s blessing through generations. And He’s certainly the generational God. But I never thought about that before, Karen, that there are sometimes generational costs. 

It’s not just what we are asked to do in our own life, but sometimes our children and our grandchildren. That is part of the cost of following Jesus, when we continue to champion that He’s worthy. Well, I’ll remember that.

Part of me hopes my own grandbabies will be flung into the far corners to preach Jesus. What’s your son’s name? And your grandbabies?

Karen: His name is Ethan and his wife is Grace and our grandbabies are Isaiah and Cody.

Erin: Isaiah and Cody, okay let me pray. 

Lord, I thank You for Ethan. I thank You that apart from the work of Your Spirit, he would live for himself. But even as a young man he understood that the call is not to live long, it is to live well for Your glory. I thank You that he surrendered to that call. I thank You for his wife Grace, that she surrendered to that call, and I thank You for their sweet boys. 

Your Word says that children are a blessing, a heritage. I know many of us think, I can’t do something for Jesus because I have these children. They’re living examples that we minister for our children and with our children so that our children can understand the worthiness of You. 

So we do pray for their visas, Lord. I pray that You would just remove all roadblocks so that they would get to come home. I pray that that would be just such a sweet time, that Eric’s mom would get to love on them—that is such a privilege!—and then that You’d give her the strength to send them back. We love You. It’s in Your name I pray, amen.

Joy, I know we call this section Erin Unscripted, but that’s a little bit misleading, because I actually love to turn the tables and ask my cohost some questions. This idea of risk and our children or grandchildren taking risks that feel scary to us, what does that look like in your life?

Joy: Mmm, the whole landscape looks risky now compared to what it was since Genesis 2! I mean, we have been going through this in Genesis 3. We’ve seen the Fall. So it’s nothing new under the sun. 

Erin: Right, that’s true.

But I tell you, it is the societal pivots that we’ve seen in regard to the people that take care of us, such as our first responders. My family has a lot of those. We have a lot of servant-minded people, which I’m thankful for. I have a daughter who works on the ambulance, and sometimes that’s a very difficult job—the trauma she endures, the trauma she sees, what her children might hear, or their worry, their fear. My oldest grandson, Ezra, actually has a continued fear for his mom because of what’s going on.

So, praying for her to have wisdom in what to share, what not to share. Praying for him to quiet his fears. I have a son-in-law who’s a SWAT police officer, and he’s found himself in some heavy duty crossfire. He’s been shot at, actually been shot (the jacket caught the bullet). 

That means I have a daughter whose husband is not only on the front lines, everything about her life is on the front lines! She’s expecting their fifth child. There’s a lot always going on in the city where he’s a police officer. Not only is it dangerous, it’s just the trauma, the things they see. 

So it’s not just culturally, but how the culture views these first responders. That’s something we deal with firsthand in our household, and we’ve learned to not operate under fear but trust God. Because, as you have said, there’s so much good that these people do! They are catching people in the worst, most devastating moments of their lives! 

They truly are just coming in, swooping in kind of like a hero, I guess you would say. But society has changed on how we view pastors, school teachers, firemen, police officers.

You know, it’s those who do good. We used to look at them with great honor and respect, and not so much anymore. So I think for our household, those are some of the things that we’ve dealt with head-on.

Erin: I didn’t know that about all of your kids, but that’s an interesting way to think about this. We had that beautiful woman share about her son being sent to the mission field in South Africa, and certainly that’s risky, but God isn’t going to put that kind of call on everybody’s life.

Some of us are going to be called to serve right in our communities, and that comes with its own level of risk. But it often doesn’t come with the parade and the pomp and circumstance; nobody’s putting their picture on the missionary bulletin board in the church. And yet, to live for Jesus in every sphere comes with a cost. So thanks for sharing that about your family.

Joy: It does come with a cost. We could be a stay-at-home mother and we get with our friends and our family and we feel it there. We feel the tension in just standing for Jesus, or standing for our children, like, “Our family has made this decision for our children. We will not bend. We will not sway on that.” We can even feel it there.

Erin: Yes, you’re right! I think a lot of moms as they listen to this, they have experienced that, or they will experience it, that pressure—wherever it comes from—to bend, to compromise, to say things aren’t a big deal that are a big deal.

You don’t have to wear a badge. You don’t have to be funded by the mission board. But to be faithful is going to cost you, and then by extension, your family, something.

Joy: If you’re in child-rearing years, it’s tempting to just try to survive. But on the next episode, Erin will remind you of what you’re really doing: planting trees of righteousness! She’ll explain next time on The Deep Well.

The Deep Well, with my mom Erin Davis, is part of the Revive Our Hearts podcast family and is calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ! 

All Scripture is taken from the ESV.

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