Episode 4: An Uncertain Future

Tippy Duncan: I am beginning to accept some things that are going to be very hard for me, and I'm going into a very dark place in my life. 

He told me that, and I'm okay with it now, although just then I felt a little sadness. 

Erin Davis: Ifeel sad when we talk about it. 

Tippy: Yeah, that happens to all of us in some way. 

Erin: Can you describe the dark place more? 

Tippy: Well, my mother died of Alzheimer's, and her whole personality changed. I'm wondering how that's gonna look at me because I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get it. My mother had it, all three of her sisters had it.

Dannah Gresh: This is The Deep Wellwith Erin Davis. I'm Dannah Gresh. We're in a season of The Deep Well called “Tippy’s Teaching Me.” 

So far, we've heard about the importance of staying active and joyful as long as God gives us life. We've also explored the devastating effects of dementia. The whole idea of this series was for Erin and I to share things Tippy has taught us over the years. But as we recorded, we realized Tippy is still teaching us. She's showing us how to walk with faith into an uncertain future. 

You said that you and David have talked about things. Have you talked about how you want to be cared for and what decisions you might want him to make as things progress? 

Tippy: Well, we made some decisions two years ago. We got nursing home insurance. I don't want my children to take care of me. I want people who don't know me and are not invested in who I used to be to take care of me. Because it's harder when it's a parent. You're invested in the way they used to be.

Dannah: Having walked through this with someone you love, what feelings do you have about David walking through this with you?

Tippy: It worries me. I don't feel anxious about it. But I know I'm going to become a burden to him. That makes me want to cry. Nobody wants to be a burden.

Erin: I don't know David well. I know him well enough to know that he will take care of you.

Dannah: How do you find the peace that you found? Because you do have an extraordinary peace.

Tippy: He gave it to me.

Erin: Did you ask for it?

Tippy: I don't remember if I did or not. It just came upon me slowly. I could sense it. I accepted it. I've been through a lot of trials and tribulations in my life. I've learned that I can always trust Him. It always works out okay. 

And so, I just talked to Him. I said, I know what's happening. You're going to be with me, and You're going to be holding my hand, and I'm going to be okay. I might be scared every once in a while, but I'm going to be okay.

You know, this peace just came upon me several months ago. I just accepted it. 

Erin: And it hasn’t left?

Tippy: No, it hasn't left. It's so sweet. For somebody who's had so much anxiety, it's just precious.

Dannah: It’s not surprising to me, Tippy, because I've seen you soak your mind and your heart in the Word of God. I've seen you saturate yourself in the presence of the Holy Spirit through prayer. I've seen you choose to trust God. And now, it's kind of like your trust muscle has been built up to a point where it kicks in on automatic.

Tippy: I think that's true. 

Dannah: Yeah. So, it's decades of walking with the Lord.

Tippy: Yeah, it is. I was following Him for many years, but I still didn't know He loved me. But once I accepted and believed, that changed everything for me.

Erin: How Does knowing that God loves you change how you face an uncertain future?

Tippy: Because He's going to be there. The Holy Spirit's with me; God is with me. It's going to be okay. 

Erin: Yeah.

Dannah: Do you ever want to pray for the Lord to heal you? I know you believe that the Lord . . . 

Tippy: No. 

Dannah: Really? 

Tippy: I don't, no. I'm not going to ask Him to change His plan for me. I don't have to understand it. I just have to accept it.

Dannah: If the plan unfolds the way that you're envisioning it, you'll be in a home one day, like Erin's mom.

Tippy: Right. 

Dannah: I imagine people visiting you and putting cards on your wall and chocolate bars on your nightstand. What do you want them to be saying about your life when they do that? What do you want us to be saying about your life?

Tippy: What you do right now: that you love me, that you thank me that we've been friends forever. That's what I want. I mean, we all want to know that we're loved and appreciated.

Dannah: I don’t . . .

Tippy: You’ll make me cry. 

Dannah: I don’t want to wait to say it. 

Tippy: Okay.

Dannah: I love you so much. I'm so thankful for the way that you've taught me to love Jesus. I will be there. I will tell you when you can't really hear it. But you are loved, and you are so appreciated. Thank you. 

Erin: If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't know that you can trust Jesus all the way home. All the way home. I've never met anybody that stared down the face of a changing brain. Even though you know all that's going to happen, and you just keep saying, “I'm okay. I'm at peace.” I've only known people who did that kicking and screaming. You've shown me that I can trust Him all the way home. That's a beautiful lesson. 

Tippy: I can, yeah. 

Erin: Thanks for your life.

Tippy: You're welcome. I give it to you.

Erin: We love you.

Tippy: I love you girls. You're precious to me. I have such great memories. 

Erin: The end. 

Tippy: Turn off the camera.

Dannah: Friend, is there someone in your life who's had a big effect on you? Do me a favor. Would you tell them how much of a difference they've made before it's too late? 

I'm so grateful Erin and I could talk with Tippy and share a little bit of her life on The Deep Well. We were joined by the Revive Our Hearts film crew. You really need to see the video version of this series. If you've gotten a lot out of this podcast, would you get a group together and share the video with them? You'll find the video at ReviveOurHearts.com/TheDeepWell. 

Do you know you can have an effect on the women around you the same way Tippy’s affected Erin and me? You'll discover a greater passion for mentoring and learn how to make meaningful connections with other women by reading a book called Spiritual Mothering by Susan Hunt. To find it follow the link in the transcript of today's program at ReviveOurHearts.com/TheDeepWell, that link will take you to the right place to find the book Spiritual Mothering. 

The Deep Well is possible thanks to the ministry of Revive Our Hearts. When you order the book from the ministry, you'll be helping programs like this one continue. 

Again, you'll find Spiritual Mothering at ReviveOurHearts.com. 

I'm so grateful that I was able to be a part of The Deep Well with Erin Davis. What a special memory this has made for my heart. On the next season, Erin will return to her usual format of teaching the Bible followed by “Erin Unscripted.” Make sure you subscribe The Deep Well so that you're notified when the next season is released. 

The Deep Well with Erin Davis is part of the Revive Our Hearts podcast family, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ. 

 

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