Turn Frustration into Satisfaction
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Leslie Basham: (family noises) It takes a lot of work to run a home. Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your responsibility? (more noises) Today is Friday, October 18th; and you are listening to Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss.
Feeling overwhelmed is a common occurrence for mothers. The challenge is to face those feelings with the truth so that we can get back on track again. Jill Savage, the founder and president of Hearts at Home has struggled with the same problem.
But she has found some very practical ideas that turn frustration into satisfaction. We'll hear a few of those suggestions today as she and Nancy continue the conversation we've been hearing this week.
Nancy DeMoss: Jill, it's been so fun to talk with you all this week and to get to know a little bit more about your heart and ministry, Hearts at Home. Thanks for joining us again at Revive Our Hearts.
I've just been reminded that we haven't given you a chance to tell us about your children. You are a mom with a heart at home. And I know you'd love to have a moment here to just tell us about your family.
Jill Savage: Well, we have four children. Our oldest is almost 17, Annie. And then we have Evan who is 14 and Erica is 11 and Austin is 5.
Nancy DeMoss: You've got children in several different seasons of life here.
Jill Savage: That's exactly right. We were doing toddlers and teens at the same time at one point. But I like it that way. We've really enjoyed having, what we would call, on the verge of a larger family. And I think it brings a really unique aspect for the older children to have the younger ones that they can learn from and care for at times and for the younger ones to have the older ones. There are some fun dynamics.
Nancy DeMoss: I sensed as I read your book, Professionalizing Motherhood, that you just really enjoy your children. You enjoy being a mom. You're real honest about some of the challenges and the harried and difficult moments. But you said something this week that I thought was so encouraging to moms--about the matter of being a perfect mom.
Jill Savage: Well, you know, one of the things that we say at Hearts At Home, (and we try to encourage the moms) is that you can't be a perfect parent. But you can partner with a perfect God.
And I think that is so important to grab hold of because we are going to make mistakes and there are going to be those days. You know, you said that it seemed like I enjoy being a mom and I love being a mom. And I enjoy my children. But there are days that I could trade them in. But you know, for the most part I love, I love, being with them.
You know, there are always those tough days, but I'm going to make mistakes. And my husband is going to make mistakes along the way. And so, we have to realize that we, as much as we want to read all the manuals and make sure we do everything right, we're going to be making mistakes. But the most important thing to realize is that we can partner with the God who doesn't make mistakes.
And so, we find our hope, we find our energy, we find our promises in His Word; and that is the fuel that keeps us going. And I think that's so important, especially when you are in those seasons of absolute exhaustion. I can remember when Annie and Evan who are just 27 months apart--when they were small, I felt like all I did was diapers and dishes all day. I felt like I didn't have anything to give to my husband. There was just nothing left of me. And I had to learn a couple of things.
I had to learn how to find time in my day for God's Word. And I had to be creative about that. I put Bibles in every room in the house. I got those little, itty-bitty Bibles and I put one in each bathroom. And even if I just had a few minutes, I would open that up so that I could be reminded of His truth.
I would take index cards and post verses that would help me remember His truth. You know, we have to be creative sometimes depending on the season of life that we are in. But that was the fuel that kept me going.
Nancy DeMoss: And it is not only important to have the intake of the Word into your life to keep you replenished and encouraged and strengthened for the journey. Would you emphasize how you pray for your children and the importance of a mom being a praying mom?
I can just imagine some moms listening to us and thinking, Great! One more thing I've got to put into my day. One more thing on my "to-do" list. Get into the Word. Pray. And you're saying that, based on the season of life, there are creative ways that you find those quiet moments and those times and ways to make that a priority.
Jill Savage: Right. You know, one of the things I have found specifically when I was in the season of very demanding hands-on mothering, when your children are small, is to let your daily tasks be what prods you on to prayer.
A friend of mine challenged me (You know I was talking about laundry, it never ends, it's just constant.) and she said, "You know what? I make my laundry time my prayer time for my family because as I fold each one of their clothes I pray for them."
And I thought Well, what a creative use of my time. So you are actually using something that is there physically to remind you and to prompt you to pray for their specific needs. And by the time I had folded an entire load of laundry, I had prayed for every member of my family, several times. I have found that that works very well for me.
Now, my children are getting a little older. And I do have a little bit more time to set aside and be able to have that quiet moment. You know, I can remember, especially when they were small, I said to a friend, "You know, I feel like all I'm getting is snacks with the Lord. And I want a meal."
And yet there are seasons the meals are a little less frequent, but the snacks are what we can grab the most of. And then we can work to incorporate more of those meals as the season changes.
I can remember one morning when I said to myself, "I'm going to get up early and just have a little bit of quiet time before the day started." I got up and snuck out of bed. And I got downstairs and I sat down on my chair. And it wasn't probably two minutes before I heard the little footy pajamas coming across the kitchen floor. And that's really the life of a mom.
Something that has struck me lately, though, is how much Jesus understands that. How much He really understands the life of a mom. You know what? He was interrupted all the time. And that is the life of a mom. So He understands that.
I can talk to Him about that. You know, He always had to find some way to get away with the Lord. For Him it was a boat. For us it's a bathroom. We can look to the life of Jesus and see that He truly understands us. You think about Jesus being touched all day. And moms are just touched to death so He understands that.
Nancy DeMoss: He understands the constant question asking.
Jill Savage: Yes! Yes. God wants to have a relationship with us. And sending His son to this earth, He created a way in which we can have a friendship with Him, and a friend who understands, who really understands what it is like. We just need to tap into that friendship. That is where our strength is going to come from.
Nancy DeMoss: It really does require His strength and His grace. And the great message of the Gospel is that through Christ living in a mom, there is grace, there is strength, there is all that is needed, all the resources needed to fulfill the responsibility that God has given.
You know, Jill, as I was thinking about our being together this morning a verse that came to mind was the last verse of Psalm 113. It's a Psalm of praise. And it's talking about blessing the Lord and how God lifts up the poor and the needy out of their desperate places. I know a lot of moms feel the need for that kind of God. And then the last verse says, "He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children." (v. 9)
Talk to us for just a moment, as we wrap up this week, about being a joyful mother and creating a climate of joy in the home as Christ lives in you. How can you encourage a mom who says, "There's not a lot of joy in my home. There's not a lot of joy in my life right now. I'm hanging on by my toenails just to survive this day."? How can that woman really experience what it means to be a joyful mother of children?
Jill Savage: You know, I once heard a quote and that was that, "Worry is the worship of our circumstances." And I think that, so often as moms, we become worshippers of our circumstances--and we fill that with worry or fear or "woe-is-me."
When we make that transition from worshipping our circumstances to worshipping the One who can do something about our circumstances--the One who understands is the One who loves us. Sometimes we need that shift in thinking, and that's where that joy comes from. Sometimes we just plain old need an attitude shift.
You know, we need to really stop and reframe what we're doing. And sometimes we get our focus on what's going on around us and we lose our focus on the Lord. We have a phrase at our house, "Are you looking at the mountain, or are you looking at the mountain-mover?"
I think that really puts it in perspective and that makes a difference in the joy that we experience. I think as moms, we need to ask ourselves, "Are we looking at the mountains around us, or are we looking at the mountain mover?" And that will bring about the joy, the encouragement, the equipping that we all look for.
Nancy DeMoss: Thank you, Jill. And I just so pray that as a result of the moments we've shared together this week that moms will be encouraged to lift up their eyes, to look beyond and above the immediate pressing crises and circumstances of whatever their situation may be in their homes, particularly as moms, and to see there is value in this calling--that this is a high and holy calling. And that they are making a mark, leaving a legacy and touching lives in a way that will bear fruit for all of eternity.
I'm just trusting that moms are going to be really encouraged by what we've shared and by what you share in your book. And we're so thankful to be able to make that resource available to our listeners and encourage them to get a hold of it and to get these principles into their own lives.
Leslie Basham: You can get Jill's book, Professionalizing Motherhood, for a suggested donation of $13 when you visit ReviveOurHearts.com. Think of this book as part of your professional development.
People in all professions get training in their field. And this book will help train you to be a godly mom. To order by phone, call 1-800-569-5959. When you contact us, be sure to ask for your free 2003 Revive Our Hearts wall calendar. And if you've missed any of this week's programs, you can ask for the complete series on cassette or CD.
If you've been inspired to re-think your role as a mom this week, we'd like to hear from you. Let us know how God has used the program in your life. You can write to Revive Our Hearts. And would you consider helping us provide this kind of series to women who need to hear biblical truths by making a donation to the ministry of Revive Our Hearts? You're helping us to continue strengthening families in your area.
On Monday, we'll get some perspective on how to handle the storms and trials of life. We hope you can be here. Now again, here's Nancy.
Nancy DeMoss: I wonder if we could just take a moment as we close here. I have such a heart to pray for moms and to ask God to strengthen and encourage them. I just want to affirm what they're doing and that they're in the will of God. There's no higher calling.
And I wonder if we could just even maybe join hands here in the studio and would you lead us in just praying for the mom who's listening right now and ask God to encourage and minister grace to her heart.
Jill Savage: Father God, I just thank you so much for just an opportunity to be reminded of Your truth. If there is a mom listening right now who has been struggling with her value and her worth and questioning what she's doing, help her to find her worth and her value in You.
I pray, Father, for the marriages of those that are listening. I pray for that decision to be a wife first and a mother second. Help us to understand that more and more each day and to begin to make daily decisions that put our marriages in the right priority, right place.
And I pray, Father, that you would also help us to just maximize the moments of motherhood--to realize that this is a season that is given to us but once. It can never be returned to us. And I ask that You would help us to have the perspective and the vision that You have for this very, very important profession. In Jesus' Name. Amen.
Nancy DeMoss: Leslie Basham:
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