The Special Joy of Singleness

Dannah Gresh: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth says that in the grand scheme of eternity, singleness is a momentary reality—and also a deeply meaningful one.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Jesus is coming, so live your life now as a single in light of eternity. And realize that if you are single, you have an opportunity to do some things in light of eternity that perhaps you couldn't do if you were married.

Dannah: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Lies Women Believe: And the Truth That Sets Them Free, for August 5, 2026. I’m Dannah Gresh.

We’re continuing in the series “Embracing Singleness,” featuring Nancy’s teaching. She first shared this encouragement to singles back in 2002, but God’s Word is beautifully timeless, and that’s what Nancy gives us. Let’s listen.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: If you are a single woman who has a desire to be married, chances are you have spent some time thinking about the benefits and blessings of marriage. But have you ever stopped to make a list of the blessings and benefits of singleness?

We are talking this week about the gift of singleness—the gift that a lot of people aren't sure they want. But the Scripture says that marriage is a gift in the will of God, that singleness is a gift in the will of God and that both those gifts have their challenges.

They both have areas where sacrifice, suffering, and surrender are required. But they both have benefits and blessings. The danger is that we would tend to focus on the benefits and blessings of the gift we don't have. We're conscious of the gift someone else has and the benefits and blessings they have, and we tend to focus on the suffering and the challenges that we have with our gift.

If we were to talk to the married woman, we would probably find that she's focusing on the challenges of her gift and focusing on the blessings and benefits we have with our gift of singleness. So it's important, if we are single, to take some time to think about what are the blessings and benefits that we have as singles? Again we want to go back to the Word of God to get our perspective.

We've been in the seventh chapter of 1 Corinthians this week, and we are picking up in verse 25 today where Paul begins to address singles specifically. 

Yesterday we talked about some general principles. Whether you're married or single, Paul says, "Don't be always trying to get a different gift than the one you have. Accept the gift you have, receive it with thanksgiving, and let God use that gift in your life. 

Now beginning in verse 25, he's going to talk specifically about singles. He says 

Now about virgins [those who are not married]: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 

Paul is saying the Lord Jesus didn't specifically address this topic. But He has given me direction and insight and wisdom that I am going to share with you as the apostle Paul.

Now today we want to talk about some of the benefits and blessings that Paul outlines here beginning in verse 25. The first two, we want to look at in the session today. 

First of all, he says that singleness provides freedom from certain kinds of pressures—verses 26–28. Paul says that there are certain kinds of pressures in the world and there are certain kinds of pressures in marriage. Singleness gives us freedom from both of those. In the world first, verse 26:

Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. But if you do marry, you have not sinned. 

It's not more spiritual to be married. It's not more spiritual to be single. It's spiritual to do what God has called you to do for that season of life. He says, "and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned." So Paul is saying that it is permissible to marry but it's not always advisable.

 

He talks about the present crisis in verse 26. He said that there is a crisis going on. Now he doesn't tell us what the crisis was, and we don't really know. We do know that the early Church experienced intense persecution, and that there were those (as the gospel was spreading) who had to travel as Paul did to preach the gospel and share their faith.

I think Paul is saying that there is some crisis going on now in the spread of the gospel or in the persecution that's taking place where for some it's better to have a single life. There are some pressures in this world, some adversity, some problems that are going on in this world, that there are some benefits to being single.

We look around in our world. I think we are living very much in the end times. Things are coming to a head in this world. And Paul might say the same thing today. "Because of the present crisis, I think it is good for you to stay as you are. If you are single, there are some pressures that are going on in this world, that you will not have to experience in the same way that you would if you had to look out for yourself and a mate." So he says that you'll have freedom from those pressures.

Then he says in verse 28 that there are some pressures in marriage that if you don't get married you won't have to experience. You'll have freedom from some of those pressures. Verse 28, the second part: 

Those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.

That word “troubles” is the Greek word flipsus. And it's a word that means, "to press together." He's saying that when you get married, you are going to have some pressures. You are going to be pressed together. Two people living together under the same roof requires surrender. It's a pressure.

I remember talking to a friend where she and her husband did not marry until they were in their thirties. I saw her after they had been married for a few months and I said, "Kathy, how's it going?"

Now, this is a couple who had loved each other; they had both looked forward to marriage; they had wanted marriage; they were both committed Christians. And her first sentence was, "Marriage is a crucifixion."

Now, she didn't regret marrying David. They love each other. They have now been married successfully for many years. But a successful marriage requires crucifixion. You have to die to your own rights, die to your own ways of doing things. I see some heads nodding. And they are probably women who are or have been married. Paul says, "This is not a slam on marriage, marriage is good."

Make sure, by the way, that you are not staying single because you want to avoid problems that maybe God wants you to experience in marriage. Singleness is not to be an escape, yet Paul says, "If you are called to be single and if God gives you that gift, there's some pressures you are going to avoid."

He's saying that marriage is not a cure all to all your troubles. In fact, marriage creates some problems. You’ll have some troubles in marriage; you’ll have some in singleness—maybe different, maybe some of the same troubles. But marriage doesn’t solve every problem. In fact, marriage creates some problems.

Let me say this, by the way, whatever kind of single person you are, you are likely to be the same kind of person once you are married. Becoming married doesn't automatically make you a different kind of person. So my counsel to single women is to deal with your issues while you are single.

If you ever intend to be married or if you think God ever intends to have you married, make sure you deal with those issues and don't think that marriage is going to deal with those issues. Marriage will only bring those issues to the surface and make them more obvious.

Now, Paul is not saying that there aren't pressures with being single; he's just saying that there are some pressures that as a single you will not experience. 

Then Paul says that there's another benefit and blessing of marriage, and that is you are able to focus on eternity, to live more in light of eternity.

Verse 29 he says: 

What I mean brothers is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of this world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

If you have been to a play that has a lot of different scenes, you know that sometimes between the scenes they'll bring in a new set of scenery to show you that the setting has changed. You will have stage hands who will take the sets on and off the stage. He says that this world is like a changing set on a stage. 

This world is passing away and Paul is saying, "Hold loosely to the things of this world because this world isn’t it. This world is just a dressing room for eternity.” So he’s saying to live your life in light of eternity. The first order of business is eternity. This world is passing away.

Paul is saying that I want you to prepare for the eternal world, the heavenly world where the scene is unchanging where you will live forever.

I love that little stanza of Amy Carmichael, the single woman who went as a missionary to India. She said:

All that grieves is but for a moment.
All that pleases is but for a moment.
Only the eternal is important.

Did you get that? Singleness has things about it that grieve us. Marriage has things about it that grieve people who are married. But she said that everything that grieves us is just lasting for a moment. It is not permanent. Singleness and marriage both have things about them that are pleasant are joyous and are great to experience. But, she says, "All that pleases is but for a moment. So don't hold on too tightly. Only the eternal is important." 

My dad used to have on his desk a little piece of marble with a verse etched on it. And when he died, I got this piece. It was a verse I heard him quote—not a Bible verse but a piece of poetry—quote many times over the years.

Only one life 'twill soon be passed;
Only what's done for Christ will last.

Paul is saying that the time is short. Eternity is long. So live your life now as a single in light of eternity. Realize that if you are single, you have an opportunity, as he is going to say later in this passage, to do some things in light of eternity that perhaps you couldn't do if you were married.

 

Remember that marriage is not permanent. Now it is as far as this life is concerned. But the Scripture says that in heaven there is no marriage. Marriage is a picture here on this earth of an eternal reality—and that is Christ's love for His Church and the redemptive plan of God. But marriage is not eternal. It's for this life only. It's a temporal, passing relationship so don't pin all your hopes on getting something that is passing away, that you are not going to have forever.

In Ephesians chapter 5, Paul talks about the importance of living with a sense of urgency, in light of the shortness of the time. He says, “Make the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil, and they are short. Redeem the time. You don't have much time, so make the most of your time.” Take advantage of every moment, every hour, every day, every week, every year that God gives us.

You know what that says to me? It's really foolish, and it's short-sighted to waste one single day of my life pining away for something that God hasn't given me, for marriage.

Now to have those desires for marriage is not wrong. But to let those desires control my life and to begin to pine away and to be discontent, to waste one day with discontent, seems to me to be a great sin and a great tragedy, a great loss to waste the opportunity that God is giving you and me right now to serve Him.

So say, "Thank You, Lord. The time is short, eternity is long, and I want to live my life in such a way that when I stand before You in eternity, I'll have something to show for my life. Not that I spent my life wasting away, pining away, wanting something You didn't give me, but that I received the blessings and benefits of what You did give me. And I've made something out of that gift, and now I give it back to You for all of eternity.”

Dannah: Amen. We’ve been listening to Nancy Leigh DeMoss because she was still single at the time she recorded that. She was talking to a group of unmarried individuals back in 2002, helping singles learn to be content with the gift God has given to them. She’ll be back to pray in a moment.

Today I have two women who are in the process of really the learning lab of singleness: Charmaine Porter and Katie Laitkep. They've been with us the past two days. Charmaine and Katie, welcome back!

Katie Laitkep: Thanks Dannah.

Charmaine Porter: Hi everyone.

Dannah: Hey, what stuck out to you today as Nancy turned our hearts towards the vision of thinking about everything in light of eternity? Charmaine, we’ll go with you first.

Charmaine: I work at Impact 360. It is a gap-year discipleship/leadership program in the small, small town of Pine Mountain, Georgia. It is as small in this country as that sounds, but I've been working here for about nine years. I'm heading into my tenth year. 

One of our big, big values here is stewardship. We talk about it in so many different ways—internally, externally—with our finances, with our time, with our relationships, with energy.

As I was thinking and preparing about what I heard Nancy say, these three words stood out to me: steward the gift. Steward it. It's been given to you. It's up to us, with the help of the Holy Spirit, with the help of community. I believe with honesty and integrity in all the ways and how that looks to open it up and see what's inside of that gift, see how it works, see what you can do with. See its limitations. See its boundaries. See its potential. See what does it feel like on this day when I'm in this situation versus this other day when I'm in another situation. Steward it.

And something that Nancy said right towards the end, she said, "Make something out of the gift, and now, Lord, I give it back to You.” It reminded me of the parable of the talents. I don't know if we always think about our relationship statuses as that, as it's a gift that's been given to us.

And the Lord is saying, "I've given this to you to do something with it, to glorify My kingdom, to potentially even maximize it.” If you're married, are you married with the mission of eternity in mind? Are you married with the kingdom in mind? If you're single, are you spending your singleness stewarding that gift so that you can bring more glory about in the kingdom? That was huge for me, and that actually was a conviction as well as encouragement for me as I listened to Nancy personally. 

Dannah: That is so cool. You know, since you are making stewardship a big deal at Impact 360, I bet you have a definition of it that would help us understand how we apply that, whether it's to singleness or marriage. So, how do you define stewardship? 

Charmaine: Stewardship, I think, is receiving. You can't steward something that you have not accepted and received. That's the first thing you have to receive it. Then, I think it's asking the Lord. “Now, what do You want me to do with it?” 

And I think, I mean, speaking of your relationship status, if you're married, “Okay, Lord, what do You want me to do with this marriage?” If you're single, “Okay, Jesus, what do You want me to do with this singleness?” This is where I am. This is what I have. This is what I'm bringing to the table. I'm interested in music, or I'm interested in finance, or I love children, or I'm really good with animals. Like, “Lord, with who You created me to be, with this thing that You've allowed me to experience, how do You want me to go about using this for Your kingdom?” So receiving it, and then asking the Lord, how do I maximize it? 

Dannah: I think what I'm hearing you say is, don't be passive with it, be intentional.

Charmaine: That's another one of our words, Dannah—intentionality.

Dannah: I remember when I became an empty nester someone told me there's a gap between actively parenting and beginning to grandparent, where you experience a freedom that's unique in your life. You are either going to passively waste that and just go through it without realizing, “Oh, I've got extra hours, extra evenings, extra weekends open here,” or you're going to be intentional. 

So Bob and I went on a road trip, and we talked about just how do we wring out that extra time for the kingdom of Jesus in what was likely maybe five to eight years. It wasn't like a super big season of our lives. But we did; we ran hard because of what you're talking about. Like, somebody told me to sit down, look at this period. Basically, they were telling me to steward it. So that's a really good invitation. 

Any other thoughts on that because I think that's really big. Somebody is starting to think about singleness differently because of what you just said, I believe. 

Charmaine: In Jesus' name I hope so. I hope that is an encouragement, and I do hope that there's a sense of empowerment as well that comes with that. I love what you said, Dannah. You’ve got to slow down sometimes and look at this is the life that you have. It’s not saying it will be the life that you have forever. As we know, Nancy got to experience the gift of singleness for over fifty years, and she got to experience the gift of marriage, and now she's experiencing the gift of . . . I'm saying that by faith, because I know my father was widowed, so I know the difficulty of that life. But she's experiencing the gift that the Lord has given her in widowhood.

But you’ve got to sit down and ask the Lord. Slow down. “Lord, this is what You're giving me. This is how I feel about it, too.” I think He is our good Shepherd. He is our Father, and He wants to hear that. I do not believe in any form of disassociation or spiritual bypassing. I reject all of that. I think Scripture tells us that we get to come and cast all of our burdens before the Lord because He cares about us. And you can insert the word “feeling” in that. You can cast your feelings and tell Him about what you're thinking, and tell Him about what you're feeling because He cares about you. 

So come before Him. “Lord, this is what you've allowed in my life. This is how I feel about this. This is what I'm thinking about it. What do you want me to do with it?” 

Dannah: I love that! Slowing down and asking, being intentional with it. That's great. Katie, what has the Lord allowed in your life that has required you to think in light of eternity?

Katie: So for me, the last few months have looked really different. 

I have a younger brother. He's twenty-eight, and he moved out of state at the beginning of this year to go to graduate school. A few months ago he was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer, and he's also someone who's not yet married. He's single and because he's out of state, he would have been going through this by himself.

When he was diagnosed, in that moment, because I don't have a husband and children that I'm committed to, I just knew as soon as we were told he was going to have to start chemo, within twenty-four hours I was able to pack a bag and move up to stay with him for out his entire treatment process.

It's not a situation that I would ever wish on anyone, but I'm grateful that I've been single in the midst of it because I had the freedom to drop everything and go. I think around Revive Our Hearts we always say that your family is your first line of ministry. It's your first priority. As a single woman, that's my biological family that I grew up in. It's my church family. So to be single means that I can pour into those that are suffering within either of those families, whether it's showing up for my brother while he's going through cancer or someone in my Sunday school class that's just having a really difficult time. We get to use these single years and use our time to get to be a presence in someone else's life. That's a gift.

Dannah: You know, Katie, you're talking about being a first responder. You're talking about going to ground zero moments in people's lives. My experience is that I experience God in a much more profound way in those hard times than I do when everything's going fine. So that means that you're there at the ready to counsel hearts, to pray with people when their hearts are most open and most receptive to what God may need to do in their hearts and lives to prepare them for eternity. Did you experience some of that when you were with your brother?

Katie: Yeah. I think it's the privilege of singleness, getting to do that. And through the process of serving him, I'm getting to experience Christ's love for me in a way that I didn't know before, because I can't serve on my own strength. None of that's going to happen naturally or of my own efforts, because I am still a very selfish, sinful woman. But the Lord through His grace as He's offering it to us, enables us to serve others. So I'm getting to see Him and how He strengthens us for the task that's ahead of us.

Dannah: Yeah. Well, Katie, Charmaine, thank you so much for being with us. You know, Charmaine told us a few minutes ago a little bit about what she's doing to serve the kingdom. I'd be remiss not to mention some of the great ways you, Katie, are serving God and preparing hearts for eternity through some of our resources here at Revive Our Hearts. So, Katie, tell us a little bit about what you do and what's available, maybe specifically for single women through Revive Our Hearts.

Katie: So I work as a full-time writer for Revive Our Hearts. One of the projects that I have been really excited about over the last year is a brand-new challenge that we created just for single women. Now, if you've been around the ministry for a long time, you've probably heard of the Husband Encouragement Challenge. That one has deeply impacted thousands of women over the years. But, we never had anything to offer single women, so we have created a 30-day challenge just for single women, and it's not even just for young, single women. 

We've had a woman who is a widow who wrote into the ministry, and her testimony just brought me to tears because she talked about how she lost her husband, and she still was raising kids. And through this challenge of getting to spend thirty days in the Word and in prayer and really seeking the Lord for this season of her life, she was able to remember that He is good and that Jesus is enough, even when she doesn't have a husband. 

So I would encourage any single woman out there, regardless of your age, regardless of why you're single, whether you've never dated before or if you have been married and now you find yourself single again for whatever reason . . . I would say, “Go to the website, sign up for the challenge.” It's completely free, and I think it will be transformative.

Dannah: You can find these resources at ReviveOurHearts.com. We’ll link to the singleness encouragement challenge in the transcript of today’s episode.

Well, if being content as a single woman seems difficult to imagine, then be sure and tune in tomorrow. We'll hear about a college student who has learned to be content. Now here's Nancy to close us in prayer.

Nancy: Thank You, Lord, that You have given us the opportunity, many of us, to serve You as single women. Forgive us for our foolishness, sometimes for wasting hours, days, weekends, evenings pining away for something we wish we had and think would make us happy if we had it. 

Thank You for Your Word that tells us there are some blessings and some benefits that we can have as single women. I pray that You will help us to embrace those, to thank You for them, and to make the most of them. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

All Scripture is taken from NIV84.

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