Remembering Colleen Chao

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Last fall at the True Woman ‘25 conference, I asked Colleen Chao what she was looking forward to when she stepped into eternity.

Colleen Chao: This is going to sound crazy, and we don't see this exactly in Scripture, but I think I'm going to dance with Jesus when I see Him. I'll probably fall on my face first, but I just, He is my first love. 

Just the pages of Scripture giving me the hope of being free from my sin, being free from pain, all that God promises us. But most of all, seeing His beautiful face, I cannot wait to see my Savior's face! And all that I've ever craved or longed for is going to be fully satisfied in that look of this compelling beauty. It's what we all want and crave for is that beautiful Savior's face and His eyes, and laying my head on His chest and resting with Him.

Nancy: And now, after a long battle with cancer, that day has finally come for Colleen. Her longing to see our beautiful Savior’s face has been fulfilled. I’m Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, and this is Revive Our Hearts.

Last week I received the news that we’ve been expecting—a text with just four words: Colleen is home now.

I rejoice for Colleen that after weeks of hospice with excruciating pain, she is free from all of that. But I can tell you that I wept when I read that text. I wept for her husband and her son who have been through so much and now have said good-bye to their wife and mother. I wept for her many dear friends. I wept for myself, feeling deeply the loss of a woman who has been a beloved friend to me.

Well, at times like this, God’s Word gives up perspective: “Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints.” We read that in Psalm 116:15 ESV). 

And today we are remembering our precious sister, Colleen Chao. Nine years ago, Colleen received her first cancer diagnosis. In the years since, through relentless treatments and the ravages of cancer in her body, she has faithfully trusted God to write her story. 

She has encouraged others in their suffering. Day after day, instead of focusing on her pain, she has fixed her eyes on the beauty of the Lord. And she’s fought for more time with her husband, Eddie, and son, Jeremy.

Colleen has been connected with our ministry for several years. She’s written for the Revive Our Hearts blog. She appeared several times on our videocast, Grounded. And she’s been a guest here on Revive Our Hearts, talking about singleness and the challenges of marrying and having a child later in life. She’s talked about unfulfilled longings. And she’s reminded us again and again to set our eyes on the Lord and find joy in Him, even when walking through intense suffering.

During her battle with cancer, Colleen wrote three books. The first: In the Hands of a Fiercely Tender God: 31 Days of Hope, Honesty, and Encouragement for the Sufferer. Her second is called: On Our Way Home: Reflections on Heaven in the Face of Death. She’s also written a book for children about sickness and suffering. It’s calledOut of the Shadow World. 

You can find links to Colleen’s books, as well as the podcast and video episodes that feature her, when you visit today’s transcript at ReviveOurHearts.com. 

You’ll also find a link to a brand-new video our team made with Colleen. It’s a touching account of this family’s journey over the last four years and how the Lord has walked with them through the Valley of the Shadow of Death. 

Today, we’ll hear from Colleen as she talked with the Revive Our Hearts team last year. In this first excerpt, she was joined by her husband, Eddie, and their son, Jeremy, as she shared how God comforted her family when she told them for the first time that she had cancer.

Colleen: So with that first diagnosis, I came home that day to my 6-year-old son, and I said, “We got hard news today. It’s cancer. But God is going to use this for our good, for your good.” He was absorbing it like a little 6-year-old does, just processing, and he got teary-eyed.

Jeremy Chao: I remember asking to read the passage in Daniel.

Colleen: It seemed out of the blue, but he said, “Can we read the story of the fiery furnace?” 

Jeremy: I think it was one of my favorite stories as a younger kid.

Colleen: So Eddie grabbed the Bible. We’re all sitting in our bedroom, and Eddie reads the story.

Eddie Chao: 

Then Nebuchadnezzar was filled with rage, and the expression on his face changed towards Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego. He gave orders to heat the furnace seven times more than was customary, and he commanded some of the best soldiers in his army to tie up Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego and to throw them into the furnace of blazing fire! (Dan. 3:19–21 CSB)

Colleen: It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve heard that story. It’s an amazing story! Just kind of reliving it in that moment of this terrible diagnosis.

Eddie:

Then King Nebuchadnezzar jumped up in alarm. He said to his advisors, “Didn’t we throw three men, bound, into the fire?”

“Yes, of course, your Majesty!” they replied to the king. 

He exclaimed, “Look! I see four men not tied, walking around in the fire unharmed; and the fourth looks like a son of the gods.’” (vv. 24–25)

Colleen: And then Eddie closes the Bible, and Jeremy said, “There are four of us in this family!” And I just marvel at the fact that God gave a 6-year-old eyes to see the Son of God in the fire with us! That was one of those amazing moments that we just saw God creating this story for us, that He was going to do us good!

It was what I had just told Jeremy, “He is going to use this for good in your life.” And here is his faith being able to see God with us. It was an extraordinary moment that I treasure, that I got to see a glimpse of God meeting my son in the fire. 

This would turn his world upside down, and I couldn’t control that. And as moms, we want to control that. But I was seeing God: “I’m going to take care of your son, and I’m going to reveal Myself to him.” Amazing! 

In this scenario, these young men are doing what’s good and right; they’re obeying God and putting their lives on the line. And instead of just being thrown into the regular furnace (that’s going to kill them anyway), Nebuchadnezzar is so angry at their defying his godship that He has that furnace heated seven times the normal heat!

It has been so often my experience that God does not pave the way with ease. He makes it harder!

Jeremy: I mean, my mom got the second diagnosis, which was terminal, which was definitely harder, but God has been with us each step of the way.

Colleen: He ups that heat, because He’s making pure gold! I feel so deeply with Paul when he says [in 1 Timothy 1:15 KJV], “I’m the chief of sinners.” That is what I feel! I am the chief of sinners . . . and it has taken a lot of fire! 

And I think some people, maybe they only need it heated two times or three times. But with my hard heart and thick skull, and I’m slow to learn, like, I need that seven-times-hotter furnace! And so, God has done that.

At times I throw some punches in my spirit, like,“Why are You making this harder and harder and hotter and hotter!!?” It’s so that He can reveal Himself with me, and so that He can make me look more like Him, and that is a slow, painful, messy process. This is not overnight, this is not something that I do well. I experience His presence and become more like Him!

Nancy: Maybe you know what it’s like to feel the heat of affliction. Like Colleen Chao, I hope you’ll allow the Lord to use that situation to make you into gold, refined in the fire.

For Colleen, the heat has finally come to an end, and she is enjoying what the Scripture says is eternal pleasures in the Lord’s presence.

Years before Colleen was diagnosed with cancer, she began learning to lift her eyes up to the Lord when her circumstances felt overwhelming.

Colleen: I was single, I want to say, maybe 28 years old if I remember correctly, and I was tired of being single! I was like, “Peace out! This has been too long!” Like, “All my friends are poppin’ out kids,” and it was a harder season of singleness.

I remember walking out from work and looked, and the sky was one of the most incredible sunsets I had ever seen—and I’ve seen some! It was just layers, and it just covered the entire horizon! It was glory in the sky, so it was radiant, and it took my breath away! God met me!

It was one of those times where the divine kind of breaks through in a special way and you sense God’s nearness and His glory palpably. That was one of those times where God met me and was saying, “I am God of creation, and look at the beauty I’m creating! What I’m doing is not a mistake. I am with you. I see and I care, and I’m giving you this beautiful moment with Me to remind you that I am with you, and I am doing something good.”

You could be standing right next to somebody else looking at the same thing, and you are going to experience it in a way that feels like you’ve just stuck a foot into eternity. You look over, and you’re like, “They’re not having the same experience as I am!” Because God breaks through in a very special way for you in that moment and the veil becomes thin.

You understand that there is another world that is very real, and it’s putting our longings into a moment of time. It makes you realize that there is something there that is sacred and beautiful, and we’re only going to get little glimpses and touches of what is coming. But in God’s kindness, He lets us sense it for a fleeing moment.

I will say, I’ve experienced so much more of that through a terminal diagnosis than I ever did before, because I do feel like I have some toes in eternity constantly now, and so the veil feels thinner. That’s one of the gifts of this journey.

This journey (I would say before cancer, really) was through chronic illness and singleness. It’s always been a fight for where my eyes go, for what I’m looking at. And so, it’s our gaze; it’s what we’re fixing our eyes on.

I do not do this well. I am highly distracted. I can go all the wrong places with my gaze. But in God’s kindness and the Spirit’s power, He gently takes my face and turns it back to Him! And that constant re-orienting of my gaze, I’ve found that it’s a habit through the day.

So, it could be putting on a worship song. It could be, sometimes I write a little Scripture on my skin just so it’s right there in front of me. It could be pulling up a Scripture from memory, or listening to a really theologically rich audio book, or stopping and thanking God, or worshipping Him for His creation. It’s redeeming the little moments, to shift back.

In Psalm 27:4, David is literally fleeing from enemies—murderous, villainous people seeking his life. This is what he says, which is mind-blowing to me! He says, 

I’ve asked one thing from the LORD:
it is what I desire:
to dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
gazing on the beauty of the LORD
and seeking Him in his temple. 

Here is David, his life is on the line, and he knows he could die at any moment, and what does he say? He’s not like, "Lord, rescue me!” I mean, he has lots of rescue-psalm prayers, right? He prays that a lot! But he also says, “I want one thing, it’s what I long for, and it’s to look at God’s beauty, to seek Him in His temple, and gaze on that beauty!”

That is so instructional for me when I feel like my life is on the line. Like, life is fragile; it could end at any time. What is my longing? Is it for a miracle? Is it for renewed health and a perfect life and a comfortable future? 

Here we see in Scripture, life is fragile. What do we want? We want one thing, and it’s to gaze on God’s beauty forever and ever and ever, to dwell in His house. That’s our ultimate goal, our ultimate longing. It’s not the here-and-now.

If I’m remembering that one day I’m going to be looking at the most beautiful thing . . . I mean, if you think of the most beautiful people you’ve ever seen or the most beautiful creation or something that just arrested your attention, that is nothing! That is a drop in the bucket compared to what Christ is going to be—the fullness of the Godhead! His beauty will be so compelling, we won’t want to look elsewhere! It’s going to capture us, and every longing is going to be fulfilled in that gaze! And David gets that, and he says, “That’s what I want. I want to gaze on that!” And that’s what I want. I don’t do that well yet, but that’s what I get to practice now. 

I get to keep pushing into that and practicing like, “God, help me think of You on Your throne and what You look like, and the glory that Scripture describes!” 

……….

What are you tempted to fixate on?

• Is it the unfairness of your situation? 
• Is it the prolonged suffering? Is it watching a loved one suffer when you can do nothing, you can’t fix it. 
• Is it the grief, the pain? 

It is so tempting to just dig into that unfairness, the grief, the pain, and stay there, fixated on it.

If you, too, are tempted to fixate on the unfairness, on the heat that is seven times hotter in your furnace, in the grief, in the pain, even in watching your loved ones suffer, without being able to do a thing about it; Jesus wants to take your face in His hands, cup your chin, catch your eyes, and lift them up to His so that you can see that He is with you in that furnace. He is not wasting one moment of this pain, and He will be faithful to see you through and to make beautiful things! So keep looking at Him, sweet friend!

……..

I get up out of bed some days because I know this matters, that every day matters. The temptation for a lot of terminal patients is—I’m going to be real blunt and open—is suicide, because the suffering is so great, and it’s been so long and there is so much physical and emotional suffering.

I have a very tender heart. My heart breaks for them when I hear of people that have made that choice, because I know the temptation. But I tell you what, this day matters eternally! It’s extraordinary to get out of bed knowing that God is taking this prolonged suffering and using it to comfort. With the comfort that we receive from Him, we get to give it to others. He’s sure given me a lot of comfort, and so I want to give that to others. I don’t want to be selfish with it or just hole up in myself. That’s a temptation! 

Sometimes that’s what I want to do, just hole up and pull my head into the “turtle shell” and ignore the world! But I can get out of bed knowing that God has ordained good works for me to do beforehand, and this day is—even if it’s dishes and laundry—the day matters eternally!

I pray generationally! I don’t care about numbers or influence . . . that’s . . . whatever. But generationally, if Jeremy could see a mighty God at work in me and then he passes that on to his children . . . I pray for my children and great-grandchildren, that this would bear fruit, this suffering, and that it would comfort many in this day who don’t know how to get up in the morning.

My heart is so tender toward you if you have struggled with wanting the easy way out of your pain, of the prolonged suffering that doesn’t seem to end, but what I can testify to is every day is so precious! God wants to give you so much more than what you can see in this present moment!

This is not the end of the story! This is a passing chapter, and He is good. He is always good, and what He is doing is good, and we will see it one day. It is worth persevering and going to the end and trusting Him through yet another day that feels too much! He is greater still.

He is holding you by your hand and guiding you with His counsel, and afterward He will take you to glory, like Psalm 73 promises us.

Nancy: Colleen Chao lived out that message. She persevered through cancer and chemo and chronic pain and last week she entered her eternal home with Christ.

In 2 Corinthians 5, we are told that, for believers in Christ, to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. But our ultimate hope is yet to come, when our physical bodies will be resurrected and we’ll receive new, glorified bodies. Colleen is now in the Lord’s presence awaiting that glorious day when she will be raised with a new body—free from weaknesses and sickness and disease.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15, this is verse 20, “Christ has been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep.” I love this idea of firstfruits.

So, right now, I’ve got this tomato plant that’s got two tomatoes that are ready. Those are the firstfruits. So this idea that Christ was buried, and now He is the first one to burst out of the soil with a new body, a new life. It says in verse 23, “Christ, the firstfruits; afterward, at his coming, those who belong to Christ,” we’re going to burst out of the soil.

I’m a seed. So, I’m not going to spend millions of dollars on a seed that falls into the soil. We will laugh at the amount of time and effort and thought we’ve put into our bodies here. That doesn’t mean we neglect them or abuse them or forget they exist. That’s not the point at all. Again, it’s this foreshadowing of there’s a body to come that lasts and that will not be a distraction. It won’t be an idol. It’s going to burst out of the soil.

And then, Paul goes on in verse 35. He says: 

Some [want to] ask, "How are the dead raised? What kind of body will they have when they come?" [Then he says,] "You fool!" What you sow does not come to life unless it dies. And as for what you sow—you are not sowing the body that will be, but only a seed, perhaps, of wheat or another grain. But God gives it a body as He wants, and to each of the seeds its own body. (vv. 35–38)

And then he talks about the splendor. This is his phrase, “the splendor of the heavenly bodies is different from that of the earthly ones” (v. 40). So he’s making this contrast. Like, “This is nothing compared to the body that we’re going to get.”

And this idea that it has to die. It has to go—buried into the ground. So my body is going to die at some point. God knows my last day. I will be put into the ground. My soul is immediately in His presence. I’m home with the Lord. Our bodies are going to be crazy amazing, but they have to die first, and this is just a seed.

………..

One of the sweetest gifts of this journey are the people who have gone before me. I talk a lot about them. Those who have suffered by faith and with hope. One of those people is Amy Carmichael, a single missionary who went to India to rescue girls from temple prostitution. She actually took such a terrible fall that the last twenty years of her life were spent in bed in horrific pain.

One of the things she said was: 

Sorrow is one of the things that are lent, not given. A thing that is lent may be taken away. A thing that is given is not taken away. Joy is given. Sorrow is lent. It is lent to us for just a little while that we may use it for eternal purposes, then it will be taken away, and everlasting joy will be our Father’s gift to us. And the Lord God will wipe away all tears from off all faces. So let us use this lent thing to draw us nearer to the heart of Him who was once a Man of Sorrows.

And it makes me think of 2 Corinthians 4:17, where Paul is talking about persevering. He says: 

We don’t give up. Even though our outer person is being destroyed, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory. So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (vv. 16–18)

And I think of Paul, oh, man, he has encouraged me so much, because you think about . . . He was flogged—was it four or five times? And you think about it, it was to the point of death. Right before death they would stop the lashing. And he would heal from that. When I’ve had scars from the different surgeries, it doesn’t heal and go back to the way it originally was. There is something different.

And you think about your flesh being torn until you’re to the brink of death, then healing up with scars. Then it happens again. Then he heals up not quite so great the next time, right? Probably. And then it happens again. And this is four or five times.

But you think about the pain he must have suffered just in his back, maybe his spine, nerves. Like, this man, when he says, “Our outer person is being destroyed,” he was living this. He wasn’t just throwing something out. He’s bearing in his body a suffering for the gospel.

And he also had the emotional suffering and all the other things he mentioned. But there was physical suffering: the shipwreck, sleepless nights, not having enough food, and his body was beat up. So he’s saying, “This is momentary and light.” Flogged almost to the point of death multiple times, don’t have enough food sometimes, don’t sleep sometimes, shipwrecked multiple times—it’s momentary.

And that’s what Amy Carmichael is saying. She says, “This is lent. This is not given. This is momentary, and it will be over, and joy will be ours forever.”

……….

I’m always, always constantly aware that tomorrow is fragile, and I could breathe my last. Treatment weakens my heart, so it could be a heart attack. There’s so many ways that it could just go quickly. When my cancer is in growth mode, it’s fast. And so I thank the Lord for the palpable reminder that this is really fast and eternity is forever, and it’s everything. I’m grateful for that.

It’s painful, and it’s terrible. The worst part is for Eddie and Jeremy. I can’t even measure how much that wrecks me. But for them, too, it’s short. Right? That’s what comforts me. Very soon all of us in this room will be immediately there. In a heartbeat. It’s so close.

Nancy: It’s close—so close—for all of us. Colleen Chao has preceded us to heaven, as has my dear husband. I know they’d both want to remind us that our time on earth is short. The suffering that sometimes seems so long and unbearable will not go on forever. For those who belong to Christ, we will soon be with Him in that place where there is no more sorrow. 

And, if you aren’t ready to enter eternity, or you’re not sure, Colleen and Robert would want to appeal to you to place your faith in Jesus. He lived a sinless life, then died on the cross to pay for your sin, so that you could have His righteousness and would never die but have eternal life. If you’d like to learn more about placing your faith in Christ, we’ve created a website for you. Just visit ReviveOurHearts.com/GoodNews—all one word. I hope you’ll go there and find out the best possible good news this side of eternity. 

And to hear more from Colleen, check out today’s transcript. You’ll find links to podcast and videocast episodes featuring her. And you’ll find a link to the brand-new video our team has made with her.

I think you’ll be amazed at the joy Colleen exuded, even while suffering from the debilitating effects of chemo and cancer. You’ll watch her son, Jeremy, grow up, as our team filmed with this family over four years. Jeremy turned 15 last month, by the way. You may want to share this story with someone you know who is suffering. The video is called In the Hands of a Fiercely Tender God and you can watch it at ReviveOurHearts.com.

I want to close with a personal word. Colleen has been a dear friend to me over the course of many years. I rejoice for her to finally be free from the excruciating pain she was in, especially during the final months of her life. But I will miss her greatly. 

Over the past several months, she’s reached out many times to weep with me and to encourage me in the loss of my beloved husband. We’ve communicated a lot, mostly through texts and voice messages, about the hope and the joy that are awaiting us in heaven. I’ll never forget Colleen’s incredible kindness to me, even as she was in hospice, facing intense pain and death. I’ve been touched by her perception as she drew closer and closer to heaven.

Colleen loved writing poetry. She sent me one several weeks ago that she wrote June 6, 2026. It’s called, “My Life’s Twilight.” Here’s just the last stanza. She wrote:

So death wields its sting for a brief moment more,
Till life swallows it up
And glory makes it for all this pain
And heartache, a million-fold,
With pleasures in Your presence and joys untold.

That’s written by a woman who knew she was so close to seeing Jesus.

A few weeks ago I texted Colleen a poem that’s said to be the dying prayer of the Puritan pastor Richard Baxter. Here’s just part of that prayer:

Come, Lord, when grace hath made me meet 
Thy blessèd face to see;
For if Thy work on earth be sweet
What will Thy glory be!

Then I shall end my sad complaints 
And weary sinful days,
And join with the triumphant saints
That sing my Savior's praise.

I texted Colleen:

Soon we, too, shall “join with the triumphant saints that sing our Savior’s praise.” What glory that will be. 

Crying now, thinking of you with my precious Robert, singing His praise. Those of us left behind for now, long to join you before the Throne when He calls us Home. It won’t be long. 

Heaven rules.
Jesus is near. 

I love you so, dear friend. I’ll see you in the Morning. 

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

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