Understanding and Helping Those Caught in Addiction, with Andy Partington

What do you do if you’re an addict or if you love someone who struggles with addiction? Find out in this episode of Grounded with guest Andy Partington. He shares how the gospel speaks to addiction and how you can respond with hope and compassion. 

Connect with Joy

Instagram: @mcclainjoy 

Connect with Andy

Instagram: @andypartington 
Twitter: @partington_andy
Website: https://novocommunities.org/

Episode Notes

• “Tippy’s Teaching Me” season of The Deep Well with Erin Davis. 
• “Joy’s Choice to Stay” video.
• Waiting for His Heart book by Joy McClain.
• Hope in Addiction book by Andy Partington.
• Happily Even After book by Dannah Gresh.
• “Happily Even After, with Bob and Dannah Gresh” podcast season.
• Lies Women Believe book by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.

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Erin Davis: Let's play a quick game of word association. Writers like me love word games. I'm gonna say a word. Then you're gonna say a word that goes with it. If you're watching live, this is your invitation to just step right up and use that comment thread. Are you ready? All right, here's the word: addiction.

Okay, what word would you associate with addiction? Did you come up with fear? Did you come up with shame? Maybe you've just thought of something really tangible like drugs or alcohol? How about this? If I say addiction, is the word that comes to your mind, hope? My name is Erin Davis, and you're watching Grounded.

Dannah Gresh: My name is Dannah Gresh. I'll tell ya, Erin Davis, I do think of the word “hope” when I think about addiction. And so, I'm ready to pass out dollops of it today, because I really do think you know someone or maybe you are someone who needs some hope on the topic of addiction. It's really a huge problem in the body of Christ. 

According to several credible sources, people in the Church are struggling. 

Erin: That’s an important discussion.

Dannah: This is not an us and them problem. This is in the Church. We're just trying to clean up our own house. Let me run a couple of stats by you. 32 percent of people in the Church self-identify as porn addicts; 27 percent say gambling is their medication of choice. I'm concerned about that, just because of all the stuff I see about the NFL and gaming—making it so normal, this casual gambling. Here's the number: 8 to 24 percent. Now, that's kind of a wide gap, I know. But those are people in the church who say they have a drinking problem. We're not talking about coffee, although maybe we should talk about that too. 

Erin: Yeah. 

Dannah: Talking about alcohol, there are 6 percent who are struggling with prescription drugs. I want to say it one more time, “This is not casual use.” These are not people who are sometimes falling into a pattern of using those things. These are people who self-declare that they have an addictive nature to their sin problem. 

But look me in the eyes. I'm going to look a little closer at you if you're on videocast. If you're on those stats, you are not without hope . . . and hope has a name. It's Jesus. We're here to help you find Him today or maybe rediscover Him in a new way.

Erin: Yeah. I'm not a social scientist, but I'm guessing those numbers are low. Because one thing that addicts . . . Maybe we shouldn't have been using that label. But people who struggle with addiction either, a) they don't like to own up to it, or b) don't always recognize that they are in an addictive pattern. So those numbers were alarming. And, are they even accurate? Is there more to the story?

And so, I do know those numbers are alarming. When I think of 32 percent of Christians struggling with porn addiction, I'm rightfully alarmed. When I think of a quarter of those in the church are struggling with gambling, I'm alarmed. 

But I think we also can be kind of numb to them. And so, this isn't a statistic episode. We want to grab your heart. Rather, we want the Holy Spirit to grab your heart, because you either are someone who's addicted, or you know someone who's addicted. 

Maybe I'd swap out know for love. Because I'm just talking about your neighbor or somebody that you are acquainted with, somebody you love who's addicted. I am sure that if you're listening to the sound of my voice, you are connected to someone who just cannot seem to get out of the grip of something. The want to is not the problem. They want to, and that thing is controlling their life. 

So, this is a hard conversation, but I think it can be a hopeful conversation. Dannah, do you have some experience here?

Dannah: I do. And when you say that, the numbers might not be right, because people might not be self-reporting correctly. One of the things that Bob and I have learned in our journey is that you don't really know you're an addict for a really long time. 

We've been pretty public in the last almost a year now that Bob has struggled with pornography addiction. I would say for a bunch of years, decade or so, he just thought he was like every other guy. He was struggling. Because it had become his normal, He didn't realize that he really was in the addictive category. 

And so there probably are a lot of people listening right now who don't realize. They might be thinking, But I have gotten to the place really where I'm willing to say, “This is unmanageable in my life”? I have the want to, but I don't have the know-how, the willpower, to get out of this rut.

We're calling out to you. 

Erin: There’s even the Monday morning learning cycle of, “I'm going to start again on Monday, and I'm gonna master this next week.” And so, you don't self-identify as an addict because you think, I’ve got it. I'm gonna be able to control it. And then that cycle can go on forever and ever. 

Dannah, I do want to talk about loneliness, because there's a woman listening that she genuinely is not somebody who's addicted. It's not that she is blind to her own addiction—I mean, coffee, food, approval.

Dannah: Yeah.

Erin: I mean, there's so many things. But talk to the one who loves the person and the addiction and the loneliness that can come with that.

Dannah: Yeah, it's so lonely. You feel like you're the only one in the world struggling. We want you to know you're not alone. If you need to put another face and a name and address with it, put mine there. I'm in the neighborhood right there with you. But we're going to lead you out of that hopeless place of loneliness and into the community of Jesus Christ where you are going to find hope today. So, stick around.

Erin: Yeah, we don't just commiserate here on Grounded. We don't just say, “Me, too.” We say, “Me, too. Now, let's look to Jesus.” So yeah, you're not alone. But we're gonna go to the right place together. 

Dannah: Right. Yeah.

Erin: In fact, in the newest season of The Deep Well, which is called “Tippy’s Teaching Me,” there's a whole episode on how to pray for your husband. We've heard from women all around the world about the impact of that episode. Dannah really beautifully walked through how she was praying for Bob as his sin patterns, addictive sin patterns, were being exposed. 

But I don't think it just applies to husbands. So if you haven't yet heard that season, let us invite you to check it out. It's on the Revive Our HeartsYouTube page, “Tippy’s Teaching Me”. I think it'll be another layer of hopefulness. It may be some action that you can follow up this episode. 

Dannah: Yeah. I want to say this: I know the term addiction can be so alarming. I was really resistant to it when Bob began to use the term to describe his battle with lust. 

I would say things in my head, “Isn't it really just a sin problem?” But what I noticed is that when he started to call it that, his battle shifted. He started winning. And when I began to redeem my understanding of addiction using both God's Word and science . . .

Erin: It’s important.

Dannah: The battleships did it for me. I started to feel more helpful. I started to feel like I had tools in my hand. I hope to redeem your understanding of sin and addiction today when we get grounded into God's Word. Open your Bibles to John chapter 8. I'm going to show you what the brain of an addict looks like. I'm going to show you what God's Word says about that. 

So, if you usually listen to the podcast version, it might be worth joining us on YouTube for the videocast for just this episode.

Erin: Yeah, absolutely. I'm really eager to introduce you to our guest today. He was raised in a rehab facility. Yes, you heard that right. Andy Partington has seen the ugly side of addiction. 

But he also says it's possible to see addiction with two other words we love: “clarity and compassion.” 

I gotta say, I think only the Church can bring those two things to the table when it comes to addiction. He also says, “Yeah, there's some hope.” So, this is a very shareable episode. At a minimum, hit that share button that helps other people find Grounded. But I hope you'll do more than that. I hope the Holy Spirit will bring someone into your heart that needs the things that are going to be shared today. I hope that you will at least text them, let them know that you're thinking of them, praying for them, and that this might be something that God would use to give them that hope in the midst of what can be a really confusing and dark thing, which is addiction. 

I'm going to transition this to good news though, first. You were wondering where our girl Portia is. She's close by. She's gonna bring us the good news. She's got a very, very, very special good news correspondent who's joining her. So Portia, take it away. 

14:04 - Good News (with Joy McClain)

Portia Collins: Yes, indeed, Erin. We do have a very special good news correspondent with us this morning. Her good news is about you. I will let her tell it. Welcome back to Grounded, Joy.

Joy McClain: Thank you, Portia. It's so good to see your beautiful, smiling, cheerful face this morning.

Portia: You too, you too. So Joy, you lead what we love—the Grounded prayer team, the prayer warriors. Tell us about that special group of women.

Joy: They are a very special group of women. They are a major force. They are a group of women who are really like an army. They love the ministry of Grounded. They love Jesus more. We don't just pray for you, Portia, and Dannah and Erin, the tech team, our the guests. We do major on our knees battle intercessory prayer for the listener—for you watching. 

And today's episode, as you're going to type out those things in the comments, we're going to be looking at those. We're going to be taking those things to the heavenly throne. We are taking seriously 2024, what that looks like for each of your listeners. We are going to be praying for them through this year. 

Every month we have a Zoom meeting where we collectively pray. And we're not just praying on Monday mornings, we're praying throughout the week. The Holy Spirit is so gracious and good to remind us to prompt us in ways we wouldn't think of, but God is for you. 

I'm talking not just to you, Portia. I'm talking to the women listening today, who maybe as Dannah has said, is feeling lonely or wherever you are. We’re praying for you. We care about you.

Portia: Amen. So, tell me Joy, what specifically has the Lord laid on your heart to pray for in 2024?

Joy: It is very specific. It's funny you asked. We feel very much the push to pray that people would accept Jesus as their Savior. I mean, we've gone back to the basics. 

Where this started in Acts. I don't even have it turned on my Bible, but just in Acts there was such power when the Church was born. People were just, so on fire, literally the Holy Spirit. That's what we're asking for, just fresh oil, a fresh fire, a fresh anointing. But how do we do that without even having Jesus in our hearts in the first place? 

We're praying that like wildfire, that the gospel would be spoken, that all you hosts and the guests would speak the gospel with clarity, with power, and there'd be a great revival, and that people would grasp hold of the cross, of the saving power of Jesus Christ. That is our first and foremost the biggest prayer for 2024.

Portia: So, we get a lot of women who leave comments, sometimes very specific comments and messages on the Grounded forums. Many of them need prayer. Many of them are actually requesting prayer. What does it look like? What do you and your team do with those requests? What will you do with the requests this year?

Joy: Well, we look at him, we read them, and we are praying through them. The more specific, the better. But here's the thing. God sees. God hears. He knows the request before it even leaves their lips, their brains, or their fingertips, if they're typing it out. He knows, and He is for them. His heart is turned towards them. 

So, we are just a vehicle. We're just a vessel He uses to bounce back the prayers He already hears, but I want to encourage them. They can pray, obviously they are, but they are heard. They are heard not just by us, but by a God who loves them. He created them. He gives them the opportunity to come boldly before His throne. How glorious is that, that we had that opportunity?

So don't believe the lie that God doesn't hear or He's not listening. He's lost your address. He doesn't care. You can go boldly before the throne. Even if you don't have words, the groanings the Holy Spirit groans for you. Even if you don't have words left or tears left, sit before Him, open the Word, pray, “God, hear my cry.”

The Psalms are that. And even if you're there, start there. But on the prayer team, we are serious about it. We're not on camera. We're not writing the scripts or doing that. But I feel like we have the most important job of Grounded.

Portia: I agree. 

Joy: We are asking the Holy Spirit to do His thing. And we are asking hearts to be softened. Prayer is the ground work for Grounded. It truly is. We love the listeners. We love the hosts. We love the guests. But we love every single woman no matter where she comes from, where she's at with the Lord right now at this moment. We are for her, and God certainly is for her. 

Portia: Amen. I hope you heard that, Grounded sisters. I hope you receive it, not just hear it, but receive it. There is a whole team of women who are praying not just for us as the Grounded hosts, but for you. They care about you. They are not only praying over your request, but they are praying that the Lord will strengthen and embolden you to be able to come to Him with your request.

We think that is some fantastic news. Amen, amen. 

Hey Joy, before we say goodbye, today's episode is one that I would assume is very close to your heart. You know what it's like to love someone with an addiction. Your own husband struggled with abusing alcohol for many years. You’ve shared that story on the Revive Our Hearts platform. And so, I want you to share what's the good news for the woman who loves someone who is struggling with addiction.

Joy: There's so much good news. I know in that place you feel like you can't pray enough prayers, cry enough tears, utter enough, “I don't know what to do.” But there is hope because there's a God who sees. There's nowhere you can go on the earth, in the depths that He says in Psalms, there's nowhere you can go that He doesn’t see. That in itself is good news. 

It's good news for you, because God sees your sorrow and your grief and your frustration and your fear and the shame. And it's good news for the addict. Because God sees exactly where they're at. His heart is for them. 

But I will say it is praying for my husband for twenty-two years is where I learned what it looks like to really intercede for someone and to trust the Lord, to truly believe He is who He says He is. He will do what He says He will do. That is life-giving. It gave me freedom to love my husband and not fear. 

So, I want to say to you if you're an addict, or if you love an addict, there is hope because we have a God of compassion. He is a God who sees, a God who hears, and a God who responds. So, there is hope my friend, there is so much hope. 

Portia: Do y’all see why we love Joy so much? I love you Joy. I am grateful for your prayers and just your heart for the Lord. Thank you so much. Thank you for pouring into us, into pouring into our Grounded sisters. We're gonna bring Joy back a little bit later to lead us in praying for those who are impacted by addiction. But for now, I am going to turn it over to that sweet face, Erin Davis.

23:17- Grounded with God's People (Andy Partington)

Erin: I am eager to introduce you to Andy. First of all, you're gonna love the way he talks. He's got a great accent. But he was raised in rehab, and he says the church needs to know, and I agree, how to handle the growing addiction epidemic with hope and compassion. So, welcome to Grounded Andy.

Andy Partington: Hey, Erin, it's great to be with you.

Erin: Okay, you say you were raised in rehab? What does that mean? I've never heard that be in anyone's story before. So, tell us about your growing up years.

Andy: Back in the day, my parents were coming out of a really difficult season in their own lives. They ended up working with a drug and alcohol addiction treatment charity in the UK, a Ministry called Yellow Manna, which still going strong. Back in those days, the families of the staff members, many of them, lived on site. 

And so yeah, age three I moved into the rehab. I say I didn't leave until I was eighteen years of age. Some of them misunderstood that story. But yeah, I had the privilege, and it and it truly was a privilege, of growing up alongside men who were battling serious drug and alcohol addictions.

Erin: How do you think that shaped your perspective? I keep calling them addicts. Maybe you should tell me if that's the right way to describe them? That feels a little icky when I say it. But how did that shape your perspective on those who struggle with addiction?

Andy: Yeah, we can talk about people with a substance use disorder, but it's clumsy and clunky. And actually, within the community of those who are fighting for recovery, people will use the language of addict. 

How did it shape me? In all sorts of ways. I think it I got to know people who had severe addictions in their moment of recovery and the start of their recovery journey. And so, I think this concept of hope and addiction for me was the start point. I saw the person who was taking those first steps out of addiction. 

So, I learned that addiction, recovery from addictions is absolutely possible. But then, of course, as the years went by and I matured, I also saw what the process involved. I saw the struggles, and I saw the heartache of family and friends. I also always need to say I saw the power of community to give recovery its force—the power of Christ and the power of community.

Erin: Yeah, let's drill down there. We said it at the top of the episode, we're not framing this as an “us versus them.” That's very rarely a helpful way to frame anything. But also, this is in the Church. There are people who are genuine followers of Jesus, who love the Lord, love their Bibles, and are struggling with addiction. We gave some numbers. Can you put some faces or some stories with how addiction impacts God's people? 

Andy: Yeah, it's everywhere we turn, and I think we to differing degrees all have an experience of this challenge. You know, I think if you've battled with a difficult habit, and you've seen sin kind of gradually increase its grip on your life, you know what it is to deal with an addiction. 

So yeah, I'll be honest, my primary experiences with people who are kind of leaving addiction and going into the Church and trying to find hope and a community in that, but there's no doubt this is not an us and them reality. This is all of us dealing with the same underlying needs that drive us into the arms of addictive behaviors, addictive substances, but also the same kind of brain function that makes us incredibly vulnerable to these habits.

Erin: Yeah, totally agree. What's the misconceptions that you bump into about addiction within the Church?

Andy: I think one is that it's not here, that we don't have it in our walls. I think another one is that actually it's easy for someone with an addiction to be honest about that within the Church.

You know, it's a really, really difficult thing in a church setting. We have so many mixed sorts of modes of relationships in church. Lots of people sort of say, why can't the church be more like AA, Narcotics Anonymous, those kinds of safe spaces? 

The reality is, it's really hard to do that within the church, because the same person you sit down and share about your addiction with might be the same person you lead worship with on a Sunday morning. They might be the person you rub shoulders with, the mums and tots group, or whatever it might be. 

So, part of the challenge we face is . . . 

Erin: It can’t be anonymous.

Andy: . . . really safe spaces for people to talk about addiction—safe, secure, confidential spaces to talk about this issue.

Erin: Yeah, that's so important and so hard to do, because we do live intertwined lives. It was an overshare, sometimes even in the name of prayer, and it can be hard to preserve that need for confidentiality. 

Okay, we've talked about the problem. I know we could talk a lot more about the problem because it has many tentacles. But let's get to hope. What do you see in God's Word specifically about addiction?

Andy: Yeah, when I talk about addiction, I often talk about Batman and Spiderman. When we come to this as Christians, both sides of what I'm about to talk about are really important, and both are just absolutely rooted in God's Word. 

But the hope in addiction, well, first and foremost, EW the active ingredients that are community, that they're one another. And also this real belief that there is a pathway forward for me out of this. That's vital to say. 

So, when we come to this idea of Batman and Spiderman, I talk about the fact that Batman does what Batman does because he's got the tools for the job. He's equipped with the strategies with the people around him, with the bat ring, the Batmobile, all that all that stuff. And then when we come to Spiderman, Spiderman does what Spiderman does, because he's been bitten by that toxic spider, and he's transformed on the inside. That enables him to do what he does.

Actually, again, and coming back to misconceptions within the Church, I think in the Church we have a tendency to think it's all on the Spiderman side: I just need that one time of prayer that's going to unlock this. I just need to commit myself more. I need to go to church an extra time this week. And for sure, the X Factor, the true kind of heartbeat of recovery and of the life that that God calls us for is obviously found in Jesus Christ. We need to proclaim that hard, we need to proclaim it strong. 

But actually, there's a bunch of stuff on the Batman side that we also need to think about. We need to say, “Why did this take root? Why can't I shake it off? Who do I need alongside me to help me to deal with this? What is it in my environment that I need to change, other things in my working life?” We can go on and on, but it's really both sides of those. 

And I think, actually, if you look at Scripture, and you look at any journey with God in discipleship, you've got both that inside out transformation and the real need for wisdom and understanding and wise living.

Erin: Yeah, so good. I have four boys. So, I totally get the Batman/Spiderman analogy. And yeah, I think we think, Why don't we just have the superpower to resist in our own willpower? And when that doesn't work, we can fall over and over again.

There's another group, probably a bigger group, which is not the person who is addicted themselves. But the person who loves the person with the addiction. It can be the spouse of an addict. It can be the parent with a close friend of an addict. That can be such a painful journey. It can feel like it has the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Put on your pastor’s hat, your pastor's heart. Let us see that for a minute. To the person who just loves an addict, what encouragement can you give?

Andy: It's a brilliant phrase that they use in the world of the twelve-step fellowships, which is: no one could do it for you, but you can't do it alone. 

No one can do it for you, but you can't do it alone. And again, you want there to be a magic solution, you want there to be this thing. But we all know, we've been talking about this, there are no magic solutions. 

I often think of the people of God in the wilderness. There was no shortcut to the promised land. There was no workaround, there was no shortcut. But as you watch the people on that journey, what do they do? 

Well, they have to take it one day at a time. The manna only comes daily. They have to stick together. They're in a very hostile environment, they can't go this alone. 

They have to stay close to the presence of God. They stay tight to that pillar of fire, to that cloud. So, the pastor's heart within me would just say, and this is so hard to do, because shame creeps in. The idea that I can solve this, and as I was saying earlier, that sense of, “I don't want people to know this. I don't want to open my life up. I don't want to take the risk.” You have to get vulnerable; you have to stay vulnerable, because you need people with you in the trenches. You can't do this alone. With others, with God, you can do it.

Erin: Yeah, I have a friend who's in this camp. I've often heard her say, “Nobody else has a kid who's addicted.” I've often thought, That is the flaming dart from the enemy if ever I've heard one. Because all it does is keep her isolated, keep her in a place of shame, and it's just simply not true. 

So, I want to reiterate something you've said many times, which is the community is essential to walking out of this place of bondage. I love that analogy of God's people in the wilderness that really tracks here.

You know, something I've seen, I've heard from a lot of people who struggle with addiction is, why doesn't God just take it away? I mean, sometimes we hear these radical stories of, “I was a drug addict. I came to Christ, and I never wanted to use drugs again. Or, I was an alcoholic. I came to Christ, and I never reached for a drink again.” 

But I think more often, they've come to Christ, and then they still have things that they wrestle with. Why do you think God doesn't just take away those cravings?

Andy: Million-dollar question. I know in my own life, that the things I pray God will take away are very often the things that keep me closest to Him. I can't answer the question why. What I do know is that in our emptiness, in our vulnerability, in our distress, it's when we cling closest to God.

I do know that there's a world coming, where God is making all things new, and the tears that lead us into addiction, the pain that's made us vulnerable to addiction, it's all going away. We talk about pie in the sky when we die and how God's got abundant life for us in the here and now, and that's absolutely right. 

But I think when you're alongside someone in addiction, it's actually really vital to just grip onto that eternal hope that this stuff is being resolved and that struggle will end one day.

Erin: No addiction in heaven, which is such an incredible hope. You're talking about the gospel. I don't know where we got the idea that we put the gospel on display by living perfect lives and never struggling, because the gospel is that we are desperately needy, and in desperate need of a Savior. As you were saying, those things make us cling closely to Jesus.

As you look at the Church in 2024, and you think about your long history with addiction, what's your hope for us? What do you hope God will revive within His people in the days ahead when it comes to this topic?

Andy: I think the start point would be just we take this from being a side hustle, to be in this thing on the edge, and we pull it into the center. I'd love to see each church say, “Who can champion recovery? Who can put addiction front and center on our agenda?” 

Because it is front and center of everybody's agenda, the stats we talked about earlier, it's what we're all dealing with to some extent or another. 

So, let's put it in the middle. Let's just start with coming to God and saying, “Hey, this is something we're struggling with. Lord, help us. Help us to help one another.”

Erin: Make it so Lord. I love that vision. Let's stop. Let's stop putting it behind closed doors in hushed tones. The enemy is working so hard in this area. Let's bring it to the middle. I love that thought. The name of your book is Hope in Addiction. We're going to drop the link because we know a lot of folks are going to want to grab it. Thanks for being on Grounded, Andy. I expected you to have a lot of wisdom and hope, and you delivered and I'm really, really grateful.

Andy: Bless you. Thank you, Erin. It's great to be with you guys.

37:24 - Grounded in God's Word (with Dannah)

Erin: Thank you so much. Dannah, I'm gonna turn it over to you. You're gonna keep us tethered in God's Word. And so, you got the floor.

Dannah: Yeah, I would love to. Well, what do you do if you're an addic or if you love one? You do one thing, and that is you get understanding. And this can be really difficult. That can be really confusing, but it's something that my husband and I did as we walked a pathway out of addiction and into redemption. 

Now, I'm not going to tell our whole story today. I do write about it with great transparency in my latest book, Happily Even After: Let God Redeem Your Marriage. But what I do want to do today is help you begin that process of getting understanding. 

As we had battled so many times,] through bouts of Bob's relapses into pornography, we finally had an elder in our church pull us aside. He said, “Bob and Dannah, get the best help that exists.”

He began to share with us a time that he had cancer, and he wasn't getting good results from some of the local help. And so, he decided he was going to go where the people who studied it most and understood it the most could help him. That's when he began to win the battle. 

He said, “I encourage you to do the same thing.” That was a game changing moment for me because I decided that I was going to do that. I want to turn you to Proverbs 4, because this is a verse that encouraged me in my journey to get understanding. It characterizes those walking and worldly sin as miserable and deeply addicted to their own destruction. 

And that same chapter advises,

Get wisdom, get understanding;
   don’t forget or turn away from the words from my mouth.
Don’t abandon wisdom, and she will watch over you;
   love her, and she will guard you.
Wisdom is supreme—so get wisdom.
   And whatever else you get, get understanding.

That's Proverbs 4, verses 5–7. I want to help you get understanding by sharing some of the important scientific aspects of addiction that I've learned in our journey. 

Then I want to give you wisdom to know what God's Word says about the battle of addiction. Of course, my perspective is a bit from the journey of pornography addiction as my husband fought that but I believe that what I'm going to share applies no matter the type of addiction you may be facing. 

If you look at a single photon emission, computerized tomography, brain scan, that's called a SPECT scan. If you look at one of a healthy brain, you'll see a surface, and it's going to look nice and smooth. 

But if you put that same brain next to a porn addict and a heroin addict, you're gonna see craters in that brain. Let me show you what that looks like in this image here. 

Again, if you're listening to the podcast, you might want to check out the videocast on the YouTube channel at Revive Our Hearts.

But you see all those pock marks and those craters? That is heroin or pornography, really just creating Swiss cheese out of the brain. It's all full of holes. That's what pornography and heroin do to a brain. 

Now, heroin is one of the most dangerous substances in the addiction world. Pornography has a very similar effect on a brain. But no matter what it is that's creating addiction, you're probably going to see some brain damage. 

The cratering happens because the brain is malleable. That simply means it can be changed and shaped by both physical impact, like say an accident that causes a concussion, or by function, like learning something. 

Now, researchers call that quality neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity means the brain can actually reshape itself to accommodate how we want to or need to use it. 

This is a really beautiful thing in God's design because it's what enables stroke victims to recover. It's what enables grandmas to strengthen their memory with sudoku. Just think about how beautiful that actually is. 

But unfortunately, neuroplasticity also exposes the brain to detrimental changes as a result of experiences like drug use or pornography addiction. 

And just as heroin or a car accident can destroy the structure and function of a brain, so do the chemicals rushing through our brain when we're overstimulated again and again by many things. 

The high comes from dopamine. Dopamine is a neurochemical that rewards the brain when we do something that's enjoyable or potentially useful for survival. I mean, if you eat a good Krispy Kreme doughnut, dopamine. You run a half mile on a treadmill, dopamine. One of them is better for you than the other, I'll let you decide. 

But when someone becomes an addict, their brain gets hooked on the dopamine, not necessarily just the substance that they're using, but the dopamine. 

And what began as a moral problem is now also a brain problem. And this is where we get to come back to God's Word now. What began as a moral problem is now also a brain problem, a sin problem has grown into an addiction when the brain begins to be damaged. 

Now, I use the term “addiction” cautiously. There are a lot of reasons for that. My main concern is that a preoccupation with addiction can erase a healthy understanding of a biblical language of sin. 

The language of psychology and addiction has partially eclipsed the language of sin. There's one author I really like. His name is Jay Stringer, and he's the author of Unwanted: How Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing. He observes that the same could be said about the language of addiction, that psychology has eclipsed the language of addiction. 

He writes specifically about sexual addictions. But this could apply to anything. I want to read this to you. 

One of the growing realities in our culture is that we use the word sin less and less to describe problematic sexual behavior. The preferred word if we recognize any disorder at all, is now addiction. This shift is good in that it forces us to exchange our intellectual laziness for a most curious engagement with the origins of our brokenness. What I'm discouraged by, however, is that Scripture uses the most beautiful and wise words I've ever read to talk about sin.” 

And then he says, 

I believe we need a model that integrates sin and addiction. I've found that the more I understand what the Bible says about sin, the more I understand the nature of addiction. And the more I understand what science reveals about addiction, the more I understand the nature of sin. 

I could not agree more with Jay Stringer. Addicts often describe feeling powerless against their behavioral sin, whether it's coffee or food or heroin or porn. They feel as if they are in bondage to their appetites. 

I think Jesus would agree with that. In fact, he said exactly that to a group of His Jewish followers who questioned whether they were in any kind of bondage. 

In John 8:34, Jesus answered their question by saying, “Truly I tell you, everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin.” 

Do I have to remind you that we've all practiced sin? In fact, in some areas of sin, I've gotten very good at it. Essentially, we have no ability whatsoever to achieve our own freedom from it. We are enslaved to it. Check out Romans 5:6 if you don't believe me. 

The reality is, all of us who have accepted Christ are in recovery from our enslavement to sin. 

Some are recovering from substance abuse, some from workaholism, that's one of my drugs of choice. Some from pride, that's probably a drug of choice all of us have reached for. Some from porn, some from gossiping, some from slothfulness, some from greed, some from fundamental selfishness. Just look around you. People in your church are in recovery from a thousand different kinds of enslavement to sin. At the end of the day, these people are responsible for their behavioral sensitive matter, whatever they call them. 

Let me tell you where I'm prone to addiction. Sugar fell to that one this morning. Work and carbs, scrolling social media, shopping when I feel sad, approval addiction, I could go on. 

What are your addictions? What are your areas of enslavement to sin? 

When someone you love or you experience addiction, you can call yourself or them anything you want. You can call them an addict. You can call yourself an addict. At the end of the day, you're still responsible for choices and actions, or your loved one is. The only thing sufficient to buy your husband, your daughter, your son, you back for the enemy's grip is the redemptive power of Jesus Christ. 

Oh, you can use all the psychology and all the addiction therapy tools you want to diagnose you. They're great for that. But the only one that can save you from that is Jesus. 

Let me keep reading from John chapter 8. Remember, Jesus had just said everyone who practiced this then is a slave to sin. Then He goes on to say this, “The slave does not remain in the house forever. The Son remains forever. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” 

If Jesus the Son sets you free from that addiction, that sin, you will be free. Not just kind of free, not just sort of free, not just a little free, but free indeed. Jesus said free for sure.

If you don't feel free for sure, then you're still working out your salvation with fear and trembling. Now that doesn't mean your salvation is dependent on you. It means that we have to cooperate with the Holy Spirit's work in our life as He sanctifies us from our enslavement. 

I want to tell you something. If you're dealing with addiction in your life or someone else's life, you've already heard this today on Grounded, you can't do it alone. It's medical, it's complicated. You need help. But please, no matter where you get your help, do not amputate the work of Jesus Christ from your toolbox of recovery. Satan, the one responsible for ours like medicine, he is a formidable enemy. And you need help from Christian people who are wise about the spiritual disciplines that will enable you to access the power of God's Spirit. 

In fact, we want to, we want to spend some time inviting God's Spirit to help you just now I'm going to invite Joy McClain, our wonderful leader of our Grounded, prayer team back. 

Joy, I know that you have fought this battle. You have been on your knees for your husband as I have been on my knees for my husband. You know, we have one, two, we've had five people on this program today, and two of us have been deeply impacted by addiction. 

So, the woman on the other end of the screen, the man on the edge is not alone. He's not alone. Would you just take us to the throne, and do battle in prayer on her behalf on his behalf?

48:05 - Joy McClain’s Prayer

Joy: I want to say to those listening, watching Dannah, no one prayed for Bob like you. No one on the face of the earth could intercede with that heart and passion. No one interceded for my beloved like I did. I want to encourage you, do not cease in your praying and your hoping.

Let's go to the throne now. 

Father God, You have redeemed us. Your heart is for us. You understand what we can not. You see the wounds and the trauma of those we love. Oh God of compassion, show us what it looks like to love those who are struggling. Help us to ward off the bitterness, the shame, the fear. We need You. We all struggle. You see that, and You deeply respond and care.

God, we are like sheep, harassed, vulnerable, desperate. Our good and faithful Shepherd scoop us up. That's exactly what You have done in Your redemption, Lord. 

So, show us. Open our eyes and our hearts to those who struggle. We need Your wisdom. We need Your grace. We need Your hope. And we have it. 

Father, I pray for that woman right now who has shed so many tears and doesn't even know how to pray anymore. God, would she just turn her face to You, Lord. You are the lifter of her chin. You are her hope, her stay, her rock and shield. You are her future. You are her hope. 

God would you not let her give up or throw in the towel? Say the stake in the ground is droven today from this point on. You will look to Me and I will be your God. 

Lord, we pray for the addicts. Oh God, what You said, that is all of us. We are all in need of Your mercy and Your grace and Your compassion. God of mercy. God of grace, You hear us and You are with us. You have redeemed us. Amen and hallelujah.

Dannah: Amen and hallelujah. Thank you so much Joy McClain. Portia, give us some tools so we have some follow up steps for this program today.

Portia: Absolutely. I'd be glad to. You know, we want to make sure that you have the links, the resources to all the things that Danneh has shared that we've talked about in this episode. First, I want to recommend today Dannah’s book, Happily Even After: Let God Redeem Your Marriage. 

So, whether your marriage is suffering from pornography, addiction, an affair, or just years of unhappiness, Jesus Christ can help you redeem the broken places of your marriage. 

So, Dannah wrote Happily Even After to walk beside you. She'll help you do several things. That’s what I love about this book. First, in the book she shares and helps you to stop pretending that everything is okay. How to strengthen yourself in the Lord, how to fight for your husband instead of against him or with him. She'll also help you to discover seven beliefs that showcase that a marriage needs for redemption.

Plus, there is a podcast that is wonderful that you and your husband or whomever can listen to together. So, you may want to listen to this with a friend who has been struggling in her marriage. It's a great tool. The podcast is also called “Happily Even After.”

We also want to point you to one of our classics. Lies Women Believe is written by Revive Our Hearts founder Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. There's a reason why this book has sold more than one million copies. It's because it gets to the heart of why so many of us live in bondage, even as followers of Jesus. 

And so, there's a whole section on lies about seeing that applies to today's conversation. Specifically, we see things in the book like lies like: my sin really isn't that bad, or it's not my fault, or I can't live in consistent victory, overseeing believing lies, that like these lies. They can keep us addicted and keep us bound. 

So, if this resonates with you, I want to encourage you to grab a copy of Lies Women Believe, we will drop a link for you to check all of this out. And we really hope that these resources will be helpful to you.

Erin: Thanks, Portia. You know, not every episode of Grounded, can be a warm, fuzzy episode of Grounded. But this was an important episode of Grounded. Joy and the what we call the Grounded prayer team or the Grounded Underground and the hosts have been praying for this episode. We've been praying that you might stumble here ahead or having never watched or heard Grounded before because God wanted you to hold on to hope in the area of addiction.

So, if that's you, we’d just love to hear from you. But something that we heard over and over and over, and this what happens when God's in charge of Grounded, which we hope He always is, which is that you cannot do this alone. So, whether you're the addict, and I'm gonna stop using that term now, because what you really are is a child of God and your identity is in Him. But whether you're somebody who feels tied to the addiction, or you love somebody in that way, the step is the same. Reach out and ask for help from others. I was going to share this prayer I have written in my Bible. Go ahead Dannah,

Dannah: I was just gonna say that you can't do it alone thing. When you find an addiction problem in someone's life, you're gonna find a loneliness problem. One of the key remedies is erasing that loneliness so that it can't drive you to a drug or behavior. You've got to erase the loneliness problem. It's step number one, do not pass go do not collect $200. Call a friend. Text a friend.

Erin: And I love His thought that He wants to bring it to the middle. Because when it gets exposed, then it loses its power. I connected some dots as he was talking. I have heard people say, “Why isn't the Church more like Twelve Step programs? And what is the secret to the success of those programs? It's the togetherness. It’s that you know you're gonna go to your meeting, and you're going to talk about it, and there's going to be people that are going to surround you. And when you fail, those people are still going to be at the meeting, and they're still gonna be pushing you forward. That is what the Church is supposed to be like.

I did want to just quickly read this prayer that I keep in the front of my Bible. I don't even know where it came from, but it applies here. 

The way is long. Let us go together. The way is hard. Let us love one another. The way is Christ is the Way. 

And so, that's the path. It's not that we don't know how to find our way out. We do with our eyes on Jesus. 

Dannah: I love that, it’s so important. I'm thinking of something I just have to share. Philip Yancey wrote, it's not Dannah Gresh original. But one of the differences between a Twelve Step program and Church today is that when someone shows up late at Twelve Step, they say, “Thank God, you made it.” And they surround them with love and encouragement. And we tend to in the Church get frustrated with people who are in a pattern of sin. When they show up late to church, we look at them with disappointment. 

So, let's start cheering for them. Let's start saying, “Thank God you made it,” no matter how late they stepped foot into our gatherings.

Erin: Or how broken or how addicted or how whatever, that the Church is where we want us to be.

Portia: I was going to say this really quickly, as you guys were saying this, my pastor’s been going through Luke. Recently, he preached the passage where Jesus was talking to Peter, and He says, “Simon, Simon, Satan, he wants to sift you.” When we face trials, like addiction, whether it's ourselves or the people around us, this is a tool that the enemy is trying to use to sift you. But what does Jesus say in response to this? He says, “But I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail.” 

And so, we see this element of fellowship in everything that we've said today, this element of fellowship. Don't let the enemy box you in to where you think that you have to separate yourself from Christian fellowship.

Dannah: Amen. 

Erin: Nope, nope run toward God's people. Don't hide from them, run toward them. Woo, we’ve got a lot to say. We’re going to need a follow up episode.

Dannah: This is a launching point for your hope filled journey to redemption. Next week Tara-Leigh Cobble. You might know that woman. She's the one behind the Bible recap. She's joining us next week to help us see the connection between joy and our understanding of the Trinity. You better bring some extra brain cells because I don't know, that sounds like a pretty complex conversation.

Erin: It's gonna be good. 

Dannah: Let's wake up with hope together. Next week on Grounded, we'll see you then.

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