The Surprise Party

Laura Booz: It was the year of the sweet sixteen birthday parties. In high school, my friends and I turned sixteen within months of each other. We celebrated one friend’s sixteenth birthday with hot chocolate and a movie. Another friend invited us to paint pottery and grab dinner afterward. 

In the spring, I received an invitation to attend a surprise sixteenth birthday party for my friend James. No one had had a surprise birthday party yet, and it was exciting. I wrote the date on my calendar, “James’ birthday party.” 

And at school, when James wasn’t within ear shot, we talked amongst ourselves about how we’d surprise James and what gifts James would like. I went to the bookstore. I found a book I knew James would love. I bought it, wrapped it, and when the big day came, our carpool of friends arrived at James’ house just in time, he’d be there any minute. 

We ran up the driveway and into the house, and I burst into the living room expecting to see friends buzzing about, anticipating James’ arrival, but the room appeared quiet and empty. I was confused. I checked my watch, had I gotten the time wrong? Then suddenly, a handful of friends popped up from behind the couch and yelled, “Surprise, Laura!” My friends from the carpool came in from behind me, joining in with, “Surprise, Laura!” 

And I was just standing there like, “Wait, why did they say surprise Laura? This was James’ party, what was going on?” 

Everyone surrounded me and began talking at once. “This is your surprise sixteenth birthday party, happy birthday!” Oh, they had gotten me good. I thought they thought what I thought they thought, that this was a surprise party for James. I mean what about the invitations, the conversations about what we would do at James’ birthday party, and what type of gift James would like and everything?

It took me a few minutes to process the surprise and to come back down to earth and to say hello and give hugs. I was just warming up to the idea that this was my surprise birthday party when suddenly someone yelled, “Quick! Hide, he’s coming!” Everybody squealed and ran behind the couch. I just stood there in the middle of the living room, confused again. My friend, Amy, took me by the arm and led me to a good hiding spot as she whispered, “Surprise, it’s James’ birthday party too.”

The door opened, James walked in, and we all popped up and yelled, “Surprise, James!” 

Hi there. You’re listening to Expect Something Beautiful with Laura Booz. Well, surprise! We may not be able to figure out what other people think about us, but we can know with confidence what God thinks about us. 

That party was fun, a great memory. My friends’ effort to surprise me makes me laugh to this day. But listen, that moment when I was trying to put all of the pieces together, helps me to understand a more serious principle about life in general. Because just as I couldn’t begin to know what other people were thinking at that birthday party . . . I mean, I was on the wrong track at least two times in a matter of minutes. Nor can I anticipate what other people are thinking now or in the future, yet so much of my life has been spent obsessing over what other people think. 

I wonder what other people may have thought about me in the past. I wonder what people are thinking about me right now. I wonder what people will think of me in the future. So much of my life has been driven by the fear of trying to figure out how I can please other people, or impress them, or be accepted by them. And the thing is, I may never know if I am succeeding or not. 

All the while I am doing these mental gymnastics, like trying to stay on my toes, constantly projecting, anticipating, assessing, and managing thoughts that people may or may not have about me. Thoughts that people may have about me one moment, but may change the next. 

To make matters worse, now that I am a wife and a mother, I am often tempted to let the fear of what people think shape the view of my husband and children. It makes me far more critical than what I would be naturally. And this fear of what people may think, shapes the way I talk about my husband and children to other people. 

It shapes the way I respond their sin and weakness. It shapes the advice I give them, and what I project for the future. I find that when I’m consumed by the fear of what people will think, I am tempted to resort to all types of sinful coping mechanisms, like worry, dishonesty, selfishness, ungraciousness, and inappropriate control. 

I’m just being honest. I wonder if you can relate? 

We’ve all got to be careful about this temptation. Proverbs 25:29 says, “The fear of man lays a snare.” People aren’t snares for us, and people themselves aren’t laying snares for us, but it’s our obsession with what other people think, that’s a snare, a trap, a waste of precious time and effort. God alone knows the person’s thoughts. 

First Samuel 16:7 says, “Man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” You and I can’t begin to know or anticipate what other people think of us, nor are we meant to devote our lives to the daunting task of trying to figure it out. 

Only God’s thoughts about us are accurate. Only God’s thoughts about us are trustworthy. Only God’s thoughts about us truly matter. 

Hey, if you want to discover what God thinks about you, simply read His Word. Tucked inside the pages of your Bible are His intimate and honest thoughts about you. You’ll discover that God thinks about you the same way He’s thought about all of His children. From the beginning of time into all of eternity you’ll discover what He thought of you in the past, the far distant past, when He wrote your days in His book; and the not-so-distant past, when you were conceived in sin like everybody else, and yet He knit you together in your mother’s womb, fearfully and wonderfully made. 

In His Word you’ll discover what He thought of you when He drew you to Himself by grace, through faith in Jesus Christ. And you’ll discover what He thinks of you right now. Right now, as Jesus is at His right hand, praying for you, leading the saints and cheering you on in your faith, and generously giving you everything you need for life and godliness. 

In the pages of your Bible, you’ll discover what God will think of you in the future when you stand before Him, dressed in Christ’s righteousness. He’ll think something like this, “Oh My daughter, My dearly beloved child, I chose you and called you. I have held, protected, and gathered you into My arms.” That is what God will think about you in the future. 

And if you have not yet placed your faith in Jesus, I want you to know that He is thinking about you today. His Word says that He doesn’t want you to perish, but He wants you to live with Him in eternity for forever. He is surrounding you with the sky above and creation all around, with invitations like this podcast episode, and other Christians and other circumstances to get your attention and draw you to Himself.

You want to know what He’s thinking? He’s thinking, today, “If you hear My voice, do not harden your heart, instead acknowledge that I am your Creator, Sustainer, and Lord, and Savior, so that you no longer have to live for yourself or the amorphous standards of what other people may think about you.”

I think this is a good time for me to read question one of the Heidelberg Catechism, it draws from a whole slew of precious Scripture, including Romans 8, 1 John 3, and 1 Corinthians 6. And question ine is this: “What is thy only comfort in life and death?”

 And I just love this answer, “That I am not my own, but belong—body and soul, both in life and in death—to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. He has fully paid for all my sins with His precious blood, and has set me free from all the power of the devil. He also preserves me in such a way that without the will of my heavenly Father, not a hair can fall from my head; indeed, all things must work together for my salvation. Therefore, by His Holy Spirit, He also assures me of eternal life and makes me heartily willing and ready from now on to live for Him.”

You and I live unto God alone. Let His thoughts about you come to mind when you’re wondering what to do or just how to be in the world. Mull over what He thinks about you. Wonder about it, read about it, sing about it, and let God’s thoughts shape your life. This will give you some solid footing when it comes to what other people think about you, and it will help you think well of other people too. 

Oh, and here’s the amazing thing, as you and I do this together as Christians, we will become unified in thought. We’ll have the mind of Christ together, returning to the same book together, surrendering to the same Head of the Church, who is guiding us all in the same direction, and causing us to grow up in love. 

It’s true that the fear of man lays a snare, but Proverbs 29:25 goes on to promise, “Whoever trusts in the Lord is safe.” 

Now, you may be in the middle of an average day or navigating your way through your own surprise party, or maybe right now life feels a little off the rails and you have been wondering, What do other people think about me?

But remember this, you simply can’t know, but you can know that God’s thoughts about you are precious, and they are full of love and truth and grace. 

You’ll find a lot of resources to help you dig into God’s Word when you visit ReviveOurHearts.com—ncluding the podcast that comes out each week day, Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. 

I also want to help you understand God’s Word and how it applies to the daily struggles of real life. You’ll find it at LauraBooz.com.

Expect Something Beautiful is a production of Revive Our Hearts calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.