How to Wear a Necktie

Laura Booz: Imagine this: you’re on the school board, and you can implement one rule that could change everything for the students and their teachers. What one rule could pull together all of the hopes, dreams, efforts, and investments to do something truly good and lasting in your local school?

Hi there. You’re listening to Expect Something Beautiful with Laura Booz. Your expectations really matter, and today’s story illustrates you can expect love to profoundly impact everything else you do. 

Well, I want to tell you a true story about a school board that made a rule that could have changed everything. The school board thought this rule had the potential to fill the students with confidence; to keep them out of trouble; to improve the graduation rate; to create an atmosphere of hope in the schools and on the sidewalks; to fuel growth and stir up courage; and to welcome its young people to be agents of change in their community and in their world. 

All from this one rule, which was: that the young men must wear neckties. That’s right, neckties. The argument went something like this: a necktie communicates a great deal about a person. It’s a symbol of nobility, respect, influence, order, honor, power, capability, professionalism, confidence, and it has such a rich history. You’ll see neckties on the most powerful thrones, around boardroom tables, in the military, in the government, and in business all over the world. 

If you think about it, the necktie is the cornerstone of the outfit. 

Maybe the school board imagined the students choosing their neckties first. They will hold the necktie up to the light and look at its colors. Then they would choose the rest of their outfits to suit the tie. From the color of their colored shirt, which of course they would iron, to the pressed pants that they would choose, to the style of the belt, and their polished shoes. The necktie would pull everything together. 

And in the school’s setting, it promises a great deal. Just see if you can resist these promises from several school uniform websites:

“Neckties establish a school as a place of dignity and discipline and order. Neckties help students feel a sense of belonging and confidence.” 

“They help students to respect themselves and each other. To respect their teachers and work hard in class.” 

“Students are more likely to graduate, to begin careers, to attend college, to return to the community and give back and make it stronger than ever.” 

All because of the 57 inch length of cloth. 

It's powerful, but if you’ve ever had to wear a tie, or know someone who’s had to wear a tie to school, you may have guessed what happened in this school district when they implemented the tie wearing rule. In practice, it just didn’t go the way the school board expected. 

To be fair, the young men kept the necktie rule, but only to the letter. They either hadn’t heard how a necktie could change their entire lives, or if they had heard it, they didn’t believe it. Because they just looped crumpled ties over their t-shirts and wore their baggy jeans, and headed off to school. This is not what the school district had in mind. 

I wonder if the boys had reaped any of the promised benefits from those neckties. Did the ties give them a sense of dignity? Did they establish an atmosphere of respect? Did they help the young men to make good decisions and work harder? Did the ties improve the graduation rate and make the community stronger? 

I don’t know, but here’s what I do know. This necktie scenario makes me think of something happening in my own life, and it makes me sit up and pay attention. Because I see that God has given us one rule that is very similar to the necktie rule and it comes with blessings that I don’t want us to miss. 

Now, of course the merits of wearing neckties in school are debatable, but God gives a rule that we can count on because it’s in His Word. And this one action will benefit anyone way more than wearing a necktie. 

It’s tucked in the middle of a letter the apostle Paul wrote to the believers at Colosse. And it’s surrounded by prayers and admonishment and instruction. I for one am prone to overlook it or toss it on without a care. But it comes with great promise. I’m looking especially at Colossians 3.

You know, it’s kind of like a dress code for our souls. For all who have been saved by Christ and raised with Christ. For all who have been transformed by Jesus and are being renewed in knowledge after the image of our Creator. 

As I read verses 12–14, I want you to lean in and listen for the necktie rule. Listen for the one thing, the one rule that will pull the entire outfit together. 

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (ESV)

Did you spot the necktie? It’s love. Of course, it’s love. Love is the thing we are to pull out of our closets first, hold up in the light of day, and consider how it will influence everything else we wear on our inner man. 

When we look closely at these verses, we see that the love of God shapes everything about us. Just as the necktie determines the rest of the outfit, so love determines the color of our thoughts and the style of our behavior toward others.

Just as a necktie may inspire someone to iron a collared shirt or get out their best dress pants, so love calls us to surrender to the Holy Spirit, as He carefully irons out sin and presses His truths and character upon our hearts. 

I imagine myself, and you too, not just tossing this idea on at the last minute and forgetting about it, but truly coming before the Lord often. Asking Him for the grace to put on love, in such a way that it would transform us head to toe. That love would motivate our kindness. And love would be at the root of our humility and our meekness. It would be because of love that we are patient with one another and that we bear with one another. And it would be because of love that we would forgive one another and seek forgiveness. 

In light of Colossians 3, I believe love determines how we think about ourselves and care for one another; how we pursue our desires and keep time and bear one another; how we handle our complaints, and how we forgive. We must give it a good look and take it seriously in our daily walk with Christ. 

But why? Why would we let love determine everything about lives, when there are so many other qualities, like being right or admired, feeling comfortable and safe? So many other qualities that may capture our attention.

Well, we let love determine everything about our lives because we are enrolled by the promise that accompanies this one rule. We’ve caught the vision of what love can do in one person’s life, and in a community, and in the kingdom of God, and in the worldwide. 

Listen to how this one single article of spiritual clothing shapes what we do, what we say, how we think, even how we feel, and the impact that we have on the world. This is from Colossians 3 verses 15–17. When you wear love, the way God intends you to wear love, you will,

. . . let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. 

What a vision! Love will invite peace into our hearts and peace into our relationships with one another. Love will fill us with an overwhelming sense of gratitude to God, and it will create unity. It will create a sense of belonging to one another. Love will inspire us to be hard working students who know God’s Word and teach and counsel one another with its wisdom. 

Love will give us reason to sing to the Lord and sing to other people about the Lord. It will strengthen us to represent our Lord Jesus in word, in deed, until our practical daily attitudes and behaviors are flowing from His enabling grace . . . all because of love. 

God made a rule that will change everything. He intends for us to put on love every day, and see for ourselves how it binds everything together in perfect harmony. Think about the things you have to do today, the words you will say or type, the people you will interact with, the thoughts and feelings that will fill your mind. Now, hold up love so that you can see it clearly. God’s love for you through Christ. Can you see how if you put it on carefully, intentionally, thoughtfully, love will affect all the moments in your day. Can you see how love will change everything?

Here’s one way you can learn to take a practical step on love. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth released a teaching series in February called How’s Your Love Life? You can hear that entire series on the Revive Our Hearts podcast. Just subscribe to Revive Our Hearts on your favorite podcast app, or visit ReviveOurHearts.com. 

And if you like exploring questions like “How do ties and school remind us to live out Scripture?” You’ll find more musings at my personal blog, LauraBooz.com.

Expect Something Beautiful is a production of Revive Our Hearts calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.