I Was One Miserable Wife

Almost fifteen years ago I was one miserable wife. If it weren’t for my commitment to Christ and my fear of bringing shame to the gospel, I would’ve called it quits.

One weekend I went off to a cabin to get away. I needed to think. I left home convinced my husband was the problem in our relationship, but God was getting ready to open my eyes to my own heart.

Shortly after settling in, I opened my Bible and discovered a little booklet written by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. The diagnostic questions interspersed with snippets of Scripture cut through my hardened heart. Questions like:

  • In the way I talk to and about men, do I show their God-created worth and value?
  • Do I make it easy for men to fulfill their God-given calling to lead in the home, the church, and the society?
  • Do I respond to men in ways that communicate appropriate respect and affirmation of their manhood?
  • Do others see in me an inner radiance and beauty that are the result of a grateful, yielded, trusting spirit?
  • Do I bless my family, friends, and acquaintances by speaking words that are kind and wise?
  • Do I seek to influence others by means of gentle words, rather than controlling or intimidating them with harsh words? 
  • Do I receive instruction with a meek, obedient spirit?
  • Do I motivate my husband to grow spiritually . . .?

Wow, was I nailed.

As I slowly worked my way through the questions and Scripture, I saw how far I was from the beauty described in the verses I was reading. The verses weren’t new to me—I’d taught through many of these passages. But when I carefully held up the truth of the Word like a mirror and asked these questions honestly of myself, my hardened exterior began splintering. God was introducing me to a season of brokenness unlike anything I’d ever experienced.

This week, my husband and I are sharing our story on Revive Our Hearts. I encourage you to listen to or read the powerful work God did in our lives. You can also watch our marriage video or read my new book Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior. The book tells more of our story and provides you with practical help for rebuilding a fractured relationship.

If you're struggling in a difficult marriage, please know that God delights in transforming marriages as we humble ourselves before Him.

About the Author

Kimberly Wagner

Kimberly Wagner

Kimberly Wagner is the author of Fierce Women: The Power of a Soft Warrior and is a frequent guest on Revive Our Hearts radio program, as well as a regular contributor to the blog. Kimberly's passion is Christ and she … read more …

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