How Bondage Begins

Dannah Gresh: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth warns you: beware of deception.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Every area of bondage in my life, every area of sinful behavior, every addictive habit, every stronghold in my life can be traced back to listening to a lie, dwelling on it, believing it, and then acting on it.

Dannah: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Lies Women Believe: And the Truth That Sets Them Free, for November 2, 2026, I'm Dannah Gresh.

So, the book Lies Women Believe has helped hundreds of thousands of women walk in freedom. I mean, since Nancy first released it in 2001, over a million copies have been sold. I have personally heard the stories of countless lives that have been changed. 

And do you know what else happened in 2001? The radio program Revive Our Hearts went on the air for the first time. One of the first series Nancy taught on was recognizing lies and replacing them with truth. We're going to go ahead and revisit that classic message over the next two days, and as you listen, I think you'll be struck by how the truth of God's Word does not change.

Now, in a few minutes, some friends are going to join me to discuss how this message applies to us still today, over two decades later. But first, Nancy is going to help us see the importance of recognizing lies and filling our minds with the truth.

How We Become Enslaved by Lies

Nancy: Most of us don't wake up in the morning and say, "I think I'm going to end up in bondage today."

And we don't wake up and say, "I think I'm going to believe a lie today."

These things happen much more subtly and much more gradually in most cases than just something that dramatic.

When we end up in bondage, it's usually because we've been following a progression. It didn't start out as a bondage when we have a food addiction or a moral issue that we struggle with, or a temper problem—as one woman shared with me recently who's really battling with anger issues. It may be a matter of worry or fear or anxiety or overspending—any of these areas of bondage.

We didn't start out in those areas of bondage. It didn't happen overnight. It happened as a result of a progression. We're considering how the truth can set us free, and how Satan uses deception to put us in bondage. I want us today to consider the progression, the steps that lead us into bondage. It starts so simply.

The First Step: Listening to a Lie

I want to suggest that the beginning place that ends us up in bondage is when we start by listening to a lie.

Eve's first mistake was not eating the fruit. Her first mistake was listening to the serpent, listening to someone who was giving her advice that was contrary to the Word of God, and that's where we make our first mistake, isn't it? We listen to, we receive input and counsel into our lives that is not true. It's deceptive.

How Deception Disguises Itself

The problem is that Satan doesn't usually come to us in the form of a serpent as he did to Eve. By the way, that makes me think this is why most of us as women don't like snakes. I do think it probably goes back to that first experience that a woman had with a snake. But when Satan comes to us, he comes in much more subtle forms. If he would come as they have him pictured in some of the historic paintings of Satan, we would be alert, and we would say we know to stay away from him. 

The problem is, he comes disguised as: 

• a New York Times bestseller 
• as a popular magazine article 
• as a movie 
• in a TV show
• as a top 10 hit song
• through the counsel that you'll hear on a lot of popular talk shows
• through some talk show hosts 
• sometimes in the form of an evening news anchor. 

We're hearing things that seem so right, seem rational, seem to make sense, but it's Satan's counsel disguised in ways that we are more prone to swallow it. 

In fact, he can come in other ways. Sometimes he comes through the counsel of a relative or a friend. I was talking this week with a woman who's contemplating divorcing her husband, and she said her parents are the ones who are kind of encouraging her in this direction. They want to take care of her financially, but they would feel better about doing that if she weren't married to this man, so she said, "I don't really think this is what I should do, divorcing my husband."

But she's getting counsel from well-meaning friends and relatives. I said, "I can understand how your parents might feel that way naturally. They've got a protective instinct, but they're giving you counsel that is contrary to the Word of God, and that's how we get deceived. 

That deception of Satan may come in the form of:

• sincere counsel that comes from a friend
• a therapist or a counselor 
• even a Christian author or preacher or counselor.

Test Everything Against God's Word

You say, "Not a Christian author. Certainly, I wouldn't be deceived. Can I know if I walk in a Christian bookstore that what I pick up there is going to be the truth?” 

Oh, that it were true! Much of what you will find in a Christian bookstore is truth. But everything we read, everything we hear, needs to be filtered through the Word of God. Everything you hear in these sessions, you need to take back to the Scripture.

I was speaking recently at a conference, and a woman came up to me at the end of the first session. She said, "You made this point, but you didn't give us a reference for it, and I'm committed to search out everything I hear from the Word of God. Can you tell me where that is in the Bible?"

Now, at the moment, I wasn't sure of the exact reference. I said I have to go find it. We'll give it to you by tomorrow. But I'm thankful for women like that, who say I'm not just going to buy into what any Christian speaker says to me. You can go to women's conferences today and hear counsel that is not according to truth.

Everything you hear, you need to weigh according to the Word of God.

The Danger of Believing a Lie

When you hear these lies, remember that there is no such thing as a harmless lie. There is no insignificant type of deception. Not too long ago, I saw the end of a Hallmark movie. Now, so many of those are so beautiful, but I was really distressed to see the way that this particular story concluded. A woman who was in a difficult life situation with a difficult marriage ended up dumping her husband and marrying instead someone who'd been a kind, compassionate part of her life through this whole ordeal.

 

The problem is when I tell it to you that way, it sounds terrible that she would do this. But I bet some of you saw that same movie. And did you find yourself feeling compassion toward this woman and the choices she was making?

It seems so sad that she should have to stay married to this man who had been so unfair and unjust to her. You find your heart going out to a woman in distress here, and thinking how nice that she can have a man who will really take care of her. But I said to the person who was watching the end of this TV movie with me, “That is deception.”

We just deceived a whole nation of women and men into thinking that you're better off leaving your husband, breaking your vows, and finding a second mate. When the truth is, by the way, that second marriages have a higher divorce rate than even first marriages. Nobody talked about the likely problems with step-parents, step-in-laws, step-children. They didn't talk about the long-term likely consequences of this choice she was making. It was framed in such a positive way. The danger is when we listen to these lies, when we take in this kind of input, remember that the source of every lie is Satan.

From Belief to Behavior to Bondage

He's behind this deception. When we dwell on the lies that we have listened to, ultimately, we're going to end up believing those lies.

When we believe those lies, it's as if that seed that's been watered and fertilized now takes root and begins to grow up. We're going to develop this seed, to grow it up. We do that as we listen to the lie, we dwell on it, and then we believe it. And everything that you and I believe, sooner or later, we're going to act on.

Proverbs says, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he" (Prov. 23:7 NKJV). What we think, what we believe, is ultimately what we're going to be. Our behavior is based on what we believe.

So many people have been misled by believing things that aren't true. I can remember as a child. Fortunately, it was before I was old enough to get my driver's license. But I had this belief when I was a little girl that when you came to a red light, it meant you couldn't go. It meant that the car wouldn't move. They said you can't go at a red light, so I thought that meant the car won't move. Now, fortunately, I learned the truth about that little matter before I was old enough to drive. 

But what we believe is ultimately what we're going to act on. If we believe lies, ultimately we're going to disobey the Word of God. We're going to act based on that lie.

Some of us have come to believe that we can make it without consistent time in God's Word and prayer. Now, we wouldn't say we believe that, but that's what we really believe in our minds. And as a result, that's the way we live. We go through day after day without getting our hearts tuned in the Word of God and in prayer.

And ultimately, when we act on the lie, we're going to act on it again and again and again. And you know what happens? We wear a groove in our hearts, a stronghold. A pattern develops in our lives that ultimately leads us into bondage. We end up in bondage.

Every area of bondage in my life, every area of sinful behavior, every addictive habit, every stronghold in my life can be traced back to listening to a lie, dwelling on it, believing it, and then acting on it.

Only God's Truth Can Set Us Free

So bondage begins very subtly with listening to those lies and then ultimately coming to act on them. The seed that we have planted in the soil of our hearts is watered, it's fertilized, it begins to take root, it grows up, and ultimately it produces fruit. It produces consequences—the fruit of destruction, fear, anger, death, and spiritual bondage.

In the second chapter of Jonah, as Jonah is within the belly of that great fish, having run from God, he makes a very interesting comment. It's part of his prayer from the belly of that fish, and he says, “They that observe lying vanities forsake their own mercy” (Jonah 2:8 KJV).

What happens? He says, “When we listen to, when we observe things that aren't true, we end up forsaking, forfeiting the mercy that God wants to give to us to deal with the real-life circumstances that we face as part of this fallen world.” The truth will set us free. When we believe a lie and we act on it, ultimately we will end up in bondage. And only the truth of God's Word can set us free.

The Lies We Still Believe Today

Dannah: Well, that of course is my friend and yours, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. Now, she recorded that teaching when Revive Our Hearts was just getting started, way back in 2001. But sadly, over the years, the need to watch out for lies has not gone away. In fact, alongside the enemy's tried and true deceptions, while there are so many new lies on the scene, or perhaps they are just the same old lies dressed up in new clothing.

I'd like to take some time right now to just talk about how this timeless message applies to us today, so I've invited two of my friends, Ashley Gibson and Suzy Weibel, to join me. Hello, Ashley. 

Ashley Gibson: Hello. 

Dannah: Ashley serves on our content team here at Revive Our Hearts. If you've been around this ministry for long, you've probably been blessed by her work.

Suzy's also on the Revive Our Hearts team. She's one of our Wonder app mentors. She does such a wonderful job discipling teen girls on that app with daily videos. Suzy, welcome to Revive Our Hearts again.

Suzy Weibel: Thank you so much. It’s great to be here, like always.

Dannah: Yes, I love having you here. You have been a good friend for a very long time, and you serve alongside me at the ministry of True Girl. You're one of our lead teachers and a content director here, as well as the theological director and a mentor on the Wonder app.

So, I thought we would pull you two together because you're dealing with the next generation up and coming, and so you see these lies every day. But first, I want to start with a question. Suzy, What's a lie that you have believed, and how has the truth set you free?

Suzy: So I have to say, and I wonder if Ashley would say the same, that through the years I've believed a lot of lies. But the one that comes to mind first is not what you would think of necessarily when you think of being told a lie.

We think of lies as being maybe some big, negative thing that Satan wants to tell us about ourselves, something you shouldn't love about yourself, or some reason that others don't love you. But I think the lie that I believed for years was that I was good.

I compared myself to my brothers who got in a lot of trouble, and Satan was like, "You're the good one. You're the one that doesn't cause your mom and dad all that trouble. You, kid, have got it figured out. You're rocking this thing." I think that you know that helped me feed into a lie that maybe good people go to heaven and bad people don't. That puts you on the road to Pharisaicalism really fast. 

Dannah: Is Pharisaicalism a word? 

Suzy: It is now because you have said it. 

I often will say when I talk about my testimony that I grew up a Pharisee, I really did. 

Dannah: Wow! 

Suzy: So that was a lie that needed to be broken in my life.

Dannah: How did the truth set you free? 

Suzy: Well, at some point, I began to realize that I was actually a sinner, and I was in need of God's grace. The lie that I had believed caused me to struggle, because I had a lot of shame thinking I shouldn't be failing like this. This is not who I am. I saw myself as a good person, or maybe the one who was set apart, instead of the sinner who was saved by grace in need of that redemptive work of Jesus on the cross. So I think just coming to understand the bare bones of the gospel, that set me free.

Dannah: It always comes back to the gospel, right? You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

Ashley, what about you? What's a lie that you have believed?

Ashley: One lie that I've believed for a long time, I don't even think that I realized I was believing it. If you had asked me if I thought this, I would say no, of course not. But looking back, I think one of the biggest things I believed was that God was good, but He wasn't good to me.

So, growing up I experienced a lot of family dysfunction and abuse and different things, so I was viewing God through my circumstances rather than viewing God through who He's revealed Himself to be in His Word. That really kind of dug down deep into my heart. It shaped a lot of the things that I thought about myself, about the Lord, about the world around me.

Dannah: I’m so sorry that you had to struggle through that lie, but you're not alone. A lot of women have struggled with something very similar.

Ashley, how old were you in 2001?

Ashley: I was two.

Dannah: So when Nancy was speaking this message that we just listened to today, you were just getting started in life, and yet you still need this truth. As you guys listened to that message, what stuck out to you, Suzy, in terms of what truth we still need today, so many years later?

Suzy: Well, first of all, I want to thank you for not asking me how old I was in 2001 because that would have required math, and I don't have a calculator on me.

What stuck out to me was just how timeless what Nancy taught is, how universal that principle is, that we believe lies.

I'm thinking about this visual that I learned about from a counselor, where there's this iceberg or glacier coming out of the ocean. The very top, the peak of that iceberg, that's what other people see, Whatever's peeking out of the water. That's our behavior. Those are the choices that we make and the things that we do.

But way down at the bottom, the foundation of that glacial rock, that's the big part. That's our thoughts. Those are the things that we believe, and everything is built on that foundation until we get to the part where people see.

Scripture calls it our fruit, where people see our fruit. So I'm just thinking it's so important to have that foundation of good thought, biblical thought . . . and Nancy spoke to that.

How Social Media Shapes Our Thinking

Dannah: Yeah, she was saying that sometimes those thoughts are built on the television we see, the books we see. Where do you think our thoughts are getting built today?

Suzy: Well, the interesting thing is I think that talk was a few years before social media came into play. Social media has replaced so much of what she was talking about. It's replaced the evening news. It's replaced the books that we read. In some sense, it's become the thing that we watch even more so than TV and movies. So, I think that social media is driving a lot of our thoughts today.

Dannah: Yeah, I do. Ashley, you, of course, are that digital generation that grew. You didn't know life before social media. So how do you think that is forming, potentially introducing, lies to young women, and I would say mature women like me and Suzy?

Ashley: I think our social media algorithms feed us lies that are ultra specific to our life and our circumstances. I feel like my algorithm sometimes knows what's going on in my life before I do, which is really interesting because it digs down into parts of the things that you're going through that you don't even necessarily recognize at first. 

We're getting these tailor-made lies that are just delivered to us on a silver platter, and we're not even thinking about it because a lot of times when we go to social media, or at least when I do, I'm going for a distraction or going to turn my brain off for a little bit. So I'm not even necessarily consciously taking this stuff in, but it's getting spoon-fed to me.

Dannah: You're saying something really important. The algorithm is choosing what it sends you. I have a daughter who works out of an advertising company, marketing company in New York City. She, of course, studies this industry because it's where marketing is happening now.

She says that inside (I shall not name the name of some of the social media clients she has) their goal is to keep you emotional. If they can make you emotional, they can keep you on the feed.

And so they make you feel good feelings. They make you feel anxious feelings. They make you feel very angry feelings. Those are some of their favorites. Nancy addressed that a little bit today. She was like, "Our emotions generally, not always, but sometimes, they are revealing where we might be believing a lie."

So, do you think that social media is not only lying to us but feeding us the emotions that we need to feel about the thing it's lying to us about?

Ashley: Yes, absolutely. I think it's so easy to consume because you want to feel something, and it's not even necessarily a good thing that you want to feel. You're trying to numb out of your normal life and go to social media and focus on something else. And so, if I can get caught up in the latest whatever, then I don't have to think about the emotions that I'm dealing with in my real life. I can think about the emotions that I'm getting that are targeted.

And I think the thing that we need to be so careful about is we can consume that to the detriment of our own souls. A lot of the times when I walk away from social media, the things that I'm feeling are anger, or they're fear, or it makes me not want to love my neighbor, and those are all things that Scripture tells me I shouldn't be doing. 

But a lot of times when I walk away from social media, those are the very things that I'm feeling and thinking about, and so it's really important that we can kind of pull ourselves out of that and say, "Hey, these emotions that I'm feeling are not the things that Scripture tells me I should be feeling and focusing on."

Dannah: Yeah, and Suzy, while we're on this topic of social media, before we turn to the truth, Nancy mentioned that so many times Christian authors and speakers that we hear aren't necessarily coming from a scriptural standpoint. How has that changed with the advent of influencers?

Suzy: Well, things happen in real time now. We look at Scripture, and we're warned about this. We are told that there will be an increase in false teachers as the day of Christ's return approaches. It doesn't really matter what our belief is about the day of Christ's return. We all can agree that every day we are one day closer to the return of Christ. 

So every day we are seeing an increase in those lies that are coming. And yeah, the sheepfold has definitely been penetrated. There's nothing new under the sun. This has always been the case. It's just that it has increased, and also our access to it has increased. You know, the average person today is encountering more information in one day than a person in the fifteenth or sixteenth century had access to in their entire lifetime. So we are bombarded with messaging, and the need for discernment is just greater than ever as a result.

Filling Our Minds with Truth

Dannah: Exactly. Ashley mentioned that so many times the emotions and the things that social media is feeding us is opposed to truth. So, I guess part of it is how do we keep our mind so full of truth so that there's not room for the lies?

Nancy's going to talk a little bit about this more tomorrow. But how do you do that, Suzy?

Suzy: Thank God there's a remedy for it, right? And the way that I do it is, first of all, we have to at some point shut off the phone. We just can't continue to reach for that for our nourishment.

Dannah: You just stepped on my toes.

Suzy: Oh, me too. I'm stepping on my own toes.

And then the other thing is, I definitely, and I don't want to go too far into where Nancy's going to go in this next segment, but, you know, the Bereans. What did the Bereans do? Why were they commended by Paul? 

Because everything that was taught, they kind of said, "Hold on a minute, we want to go back to the Scripture and make sure that aligns." And the more time we can spend doing that, the more commitment we have to that, the better our armor, the stronger it is. 

Dannah: And I think part of being like a Berean is being so full of truth, being in the Word every single day, that when a counterfeit pops up, it sounds like one, smells like one, looks like one.

Suzy: Exactly. 

Dannah: You know, you can't always just be like, "Let me go check my Bible." It has to be in you, right?

Ashley, what are some ways that you fill yourself with truth?

Ashley: One way that I love to do this is through scripturally rich songs or theologically rich songs. I am a girl who gets things stuck in my head. Once they're in there, they just kind of bounce around for a long time. I've learned that if I can get songs that are saturated in Scripture, if I can get songs that are saturated in good theology, then those are the things that are bouncing around in my mind, and those are the things that I'm being reminded of constantly.

And when you're being reminded of the truth of God's Word, like you're saying, it's so much easier to say, "Hey, this goes against Scripture. This goes against truth," because you're already familiar with what the truth is. 

Dannah: That's what the Psalms were all about, right? They were telling themselves truth, singing truth to themselves as they journeyed towards Jerusalem many times, using some of those psalms as a psalm ascent or pilgrimage.

So, good advice here. Put your phone down, preaching to myself there. Be like a Berean. Fill yourself with truth. Test everything you hear against the Word. Use songs to teach yourself the truth. Love it.

We're going to hear more tomorrow from Nancy on how to fill our hearts with truth to counter the lies all around us.

I've been talking to Ashley and Suzy. Of course, they are contributors to the Wonder app. We've been journeying through the whole Bible with thousands of teen girls this year. What a joy that's been, right, guys?

Suzy: Yes, absolutely. We love it, love it, love it.

Dannah: And I can't believe we're nearly at the end of the year. Next year we're going to continue. I'm excited that we're going to walk those girls through not only the content of the Wonder of the Word project, but we're also going to journey through some of the content in Lies Young Women Believe. That's a book that Nancy and I wrote some years ago.

Now would be a really wonderful time for you, if you have a teen daughter or a teen granddaughter, to get her on the app as we get ready to begin a fresh year with fresh content. Visit ReviveOurHearts.com/wonder to learn more and download the app.

Of course, one way to fill your mind with truth is through practical daily reminders, Scripture strategically placed throughout your home, woven into your routine, so you just can't miss it. I think that's why our listeners get so excited every year about the release of our new ministry calendar.

And it's that time once again. I can practically hear some of you cheering from wherever you're tuning into today. This year's beautiful calendar includes artwork from Ciara Dierking. You might remember her story. We shared it not too long ago. If not, you've got to hear it. We'll link to those programs in the transcript today.

Now, the theme of the calendar is, of course, the wonder of the Word, which is so fitting as we prepare to begin our journey through the whole Bible with Nancy in January. You know, God didn't have to give us His Word, but He did. Every page is a gift, and every verse an invitation to know Him more.

And our 2027 Wall calendar is going to remind you of that. It's a year-long companion to help you find fresh wonder in the Scripture. So, make a donation of any amount today and request yours. You can do that by visiting ReviveOurHearts.com, or you can call us at 1-800-569-5959. Our prayer is that 2027 would be the year you fall in love with Scripture all over again.

Hey, join us tomorrow as we continue to combat deception with the truth. Nancy says you need to prepare so that you're ready when a lie comes your way. What should this preparation look like? Find out tomorrow on Revive Our Hearts.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

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