When You Don't Have a Valentine

It's Valentine's Day, but you knew that already. It seems impossible to escape the mushy message that everyone needs someone to love on this romantic holiday. I'm not anti-Valentine's Day. In fact, it's a holiday that I've always enjoyed, but I realize that for those of you without someone special to love, today can be a day filled with loneliness and frustration. If you're struggling with feelings of loss, anxiety, loneliness, or frustration this Valentine's Day, this post is for you. I want to encourage you not to dwell on your negative feelings about romance. (And don't even think about eating an entire box of Valentine's chocolate all by yourself!) Instead, turn your heart toward these specific truths straight out of God's Word.

Romantic love isn't the secret to wholeness.

The advertising industry is trying to convince you that romantic love is the only path to happiness. While it's true that there are great emotional benefits from a caring, loving relationship, it isn't necessary to meet our basic needs for love. Isaiah 58:11 
says, "The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail." No man is able to meet all of your needs. But God is able! He can satisfy your desire for love (Jeremiah 31:1). He responds when you need help or comfort (Isaiah 41:13, Psalm 71:21). He affirms that you matter (Psalm 139). And He Has promised He will never leave or abandon you (Hebrews 13:5). The world may tell you that you cannot be happy without a man, but God has already given you everything you need for freedom, fullness, and joy.

True love is worth waiting for.

Song of Solomon 8:4
 says, "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." The world will tell you that any love is good love (today especially). But that isn't what God's Word teaches. God asks us to wait to save sex, the deepest expression of romantic love for marriage, and He warns us to guard our hearts above all things (Proverbs 4:23). Don't let the pain you may be feeling today prompt you to settle for second best. Take your hurts to God, and ask Him to help you guard your heart. Ask Him to give you a vision of the kind of love He has for you and to help you to wait for His timing.

You can trust God.

When faced with an empty calendar and a lonely heart on Valentine's Day, it's easy to forget that God is good. But He is good, girls! He doesn't withhold good things from you to punish you or to toy with your heart. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "‘For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Psalm 31:19 says, "How abundant are the good things that you have stored up for those who fear you, that you bestow in the sight of all, on those who take refuge in you." It may not feel like it today, but you can trust that His plan for your love life is based on what's very best for you.

You are being pursued today.

I know that cards and chocolates and dates are nice, but just because you don't have that doesn't mean you're not being pursued. In Jeremiah 31:3 
we read, "The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.'" In Zechariah 2:8 God calls you the "apple of his eye." Throughout Song of Solomon, He calls you His "beloved." In Psalm 45:11, He sys He is "enthralled by your beauty." He has been wooing you since the dawn of time. He came to earth and died so that you could be with Him for eternity. He has asked for your heart and promised He will never leave you or forsake you. What a Valentine! 

About the Author

Erin Davis

Erin Davis is married to her high school sweetheart, Jason, and together they parent four energetic boys on their small farm in the midwest. She is the author of more than a dozen books and Bible studies, the content manager for Revive Our Hearts, and a host of the Grounded videocast. You can hear her teach on The Deep Well with Erin Davis podcast.