You Can Be Free From Guilt

Dannah Gresh: Have you ever been weighed down by guilt? Andrea Griffith knows that feeling. 

Andrea Griffith: In my pride, that I thought was humility, it was just my pride of thinking that it would take me years of penance to pay off the debt that I owed. But the reality is I can never, ever pay that price. That’s why Jesus came. Only Jesus could pay the debt that I owed. 

Dannah: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of The Quiet Place, for May 23, 2023. I’m Dannah Gresh.

Are there any secrets you’re holding onto? Is there some sort of guilt you feel like you can’t shake? Andrea Griffith understands. Later in the program, she’ll tell us how she finally found freedom from her guilt.

First, we’ll hear about a biblical woman who also felt weighed down by guilt. But she was trying to cover that pain when she met Jesus. Nancy started unpacking that story for us yesterday as she began a series called “Satisfying Our Thirst.” Nancy’s here to pick that teaching back up.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Is there any area of your life that if I were to ask you to tell me about that area, you might find yourself getting a little uncomfortable? I see some smiles. Obviously there are some areas like that in all of our lives. We're looking this week at the woman of Samaria, the woman at the well in John, chapter 4. Jesus has offered her this incredible gift of eternal life. She has said to him, as we heard yesterday, "Sir, give me this water. I want this living water so that I won't have to keep coming back to this well to draw water."

Then in verse 16, we read yesterday that Jesus says to her, "Go call your husband and come back." Rather than just saying to her, "Here is the living water, you can have it," He says, "Wait a minute. First of all, we need to talk truth. We need to go into some areas of your life that you're not eager to talk about. Those shameful, hidden areas," Jesus is saying.

This is a total stranger, as far as she knows, speaking to this woman. And He says, "We need to bring out into the open some things about your life that maybe you're not real comfortable talking about."

What if I said to you, "Tell me about your parents. Tell me about your relationship with your dad when you were growing up." Now for some of you, that would be a comfortable conversation. But is there someone here that's, I see a head shaking here, that might not be an area that you'd be real comfortable talking about?

What if I said, "Tell me about your marriage. Tell me about your ex-husband and your marriage to him. Tell me about your children. How are they doing?" Some of you have delightful children. Some of you are crying yourself to sleep at night over a rebellious son or daughter. It might not be something you'd be comfortable talking about.

Jesus says to the woman, "Go call your husband." In her life, this was the hardest thing He could've brought up. I mean, "Let's talk about anything, Jesus, but not my marriage." Well, marriages. "Let's talk about my job, but not my marriages." Jesus knows exactly which area in your life and mine we'd just as soon leave shut off. Which area would you not want to talk about? And He says, "That's the one I want to talk about. That's the one I want to deal with. That's the one we need to bring out into the light."

You see, Jesus wanted the truth. And as this passage goes on Jesus is going to tell us that God is looking for worshippers, but they have to worship Him in spirit and in truth. If we're going to have this living water, we've got to walk in truth. That psalmist said, "God, you desire truth in the innermost parts of my being." The fact is, God knows it all anyway. But we're still uncomfortable at bringing the truth out into the light.

Jesus wanted to know the truth about this woman, who she was. Where she had been. What had been done to her. He wanted to know about her past. He wanted to know about her present. Not that He didn't know, but He wanted her to tell the truth about these areas. He was concerned about the things that she didn't want anyone to know.

I was in a group not too long ago of women who were asked to introduce themselves by going around the room and the question was, "Tell us something about yourself that no one else in this group knows." Now in that case, it wasn't real hard because we didn't really know each other. But I'll tell you one thing, as we went around that circle and told something about ourselves that no one else knew, none of us told something that we were ashamed of. We picked out things that we felt were safe.

But Jesus is saying in this little one-on-one conversation with this woman, "I want to know all about you. I want to know the thing you would never tell in that circle." He wanted to know about the things of which she was ashamed. He wanted to know about her need. He wanted to know about the sinful ways she had been trying to meet her needs.

Now in verse 17, she kind of tells Jesus the truth. Jesus says, "Go call your husband and come back." And she says, "I have no husband." Well that was true, but it wasn't the whole truth. I think she's just telling Jesus enough to be safe. I'll just give Him a little bit of information, but I don't want to tell Him the whole thing. And Jesus wouldn't have it that way. He wanted the whole truth. He wanted to know it all—not just this guarded sort of way that we tell Him or others the truth about ourselves. He wanted her to come just as she was—no pretense, no hiding, no trying to look respectable.

So Jesus says to this woman when she says, "I have no husband," Jesus says, "You're right when you say you have no husband." Now picture yourself as this woman. The problem is again we know the story too well. Picture yourself in this woman's sandals. This is a total stranger who's come up to her. He's started this conversation. It's already remarkable because she's a Samaritan woman and He's speaking to her as a Jewish male. But then this man she's never seen in her life says to her,

"You're right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you've had five husbands and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true." (v. 18)

Can you imagine how undone that woman must have felt? How undone would you feel? How undone would I feel if Jesus were to project on a screen in this room all the things about my past, about your past, that we've never told a soul. Jesus is saying, "You want living water? First, you've got to get honest about your need. You've got to get honest about the truth that you've tried to keep hidden." The truth is: Jesus knows the truth; He knows the whole truth. That's what this woman had to see. There's no point in hiding from Him. He knows the truth about you as surely as He knew the whole truth about that woman. He knows the truth about what others have done to you.

A woman shared with me last night about how when she was a little girl her father had molested her. Jesus knows what's been done to you. For years this woman never shared that with anyone until just very recently now in her late forties. But Jesus has known all along. He knows about the abuse. He knows about the rejection. He knows about the husband who abandoned you and left you with those small children. He knows about that son or daughter who's living in a homosexual lifestyle or blowing his mind on drugs. Things that you're ashamed to say to anyone, Jesus knows.

He knows not only what's been done to you, He knows what you have done. He knows about the multiple marriages. He knows about the broken vows, the broken covenants. He knows about the immoral relationships, the ones before you were married. He knows about the one that you're playing with right now. He knows about that exchange going on over email or over the internet or with that man at work who's become a confidant, that counselor, that person you're opening up parts of your heart to that don't belong to that man.

He knows. He knows that perhaps there's a woman in this room who's actually thinking about leaving your husband, and you haven't told a soul. But you're hurt, you're wounded, you're desperate. He knows what you're thinking.

He knows if you've been estranged from your parents. It may have been years since you've been able to talk to your parents, to face that dad or mom who hurt you so deeply. He knows, well maybe this isn't true in this room, He knows there may be someone in this room who actually yells at your kids. (laughter) Or maybe more than one someone. And you think, Just in the four walls of my home, I get so angry. He knows. He knows the whole truth. He knows there are some who've gone further than that. And further than harming your children with words. He knows that there are times when in your anger you've disciplined your children in a way that was abusive or harmful. He knows.

He knows about the addictions to mood elevators to sleeping pills, tranquilizers. He knows about the addictions to television, to food. He knows about the eating disorders. He knows the woman who is starving herself trying to control some area of her life. He knows about the woman who is binging and purging. He knows about sinful, shameful habits. He knows about that immoral habit that you can't control. He knows. He sees it. He knows. He knows about the anger, the temper, the overspending, the credit card debt that you've run up that maybe your husband doesn't even know about yet. He know about your fears. He knows about that abortion. He knows about the abortions. He knows.

And He's waiting for us to get honest. He's waiting for you to get honest. You say to Him, "Jesus, I need living water. I need this water that, if you give it to me, I'll never thirst again. I want the gift of God. I want what You have to offer to me." And Jesus says, "Go call your husband. Bring the truth out into the light. I know it." If we are too afraid to bring the truth out into the light and we only tell the little bit of truth that we feel safe telling, Jesus will come back and say, "I know all about it. I know that you've had five husbands. I know that the one you're living with now is not even your husband. I know." Jesus says, "If you want the living water, come and tell me the truth."

Let's talk truth because God is looking for worshippers—those who would be open and transparent and honest and broken and humble before Him, those who are willing to bring all the truth out into the light. Is there's some truth, some area of truth in your life that you've never really brought out into His light? Now I'm not saying that you need to tell all of us in this room about all that truth, but have you ever brought it out into the light in your relationship with the Lord? And said, "Lord, it's not just what's been done to me, it's what I've done. I'm not just a victim of my past circumstances, I'm actually a sinner in the way that I've responded to the circumstances of my life. There are hidden things. There are shameful things. And I'm willing to get honest with You, to worship You in spirit and in truth." When you do, you will have taken a huge step towards receiving that living water that Jesus says wants to become within you a spring of water welling up to eternal life.

Oh Father, would You help us to get really honest with You, to tell you the truth? Thank You that You know the truth even before You ask about it. You knew the truth about that woman before You asked her to go get her husband. But You gave her a chance to speak the truth. And thank You that even though You know all the truth about us, where we've been, what we've done, You still engage us and offer us that incredible gift of the water of life. Thank You for love, Your love. Thank You for Your incredible mercy and grace. And may we this day come into the light and say, "Here's the truth, Lord, I worship You in spirit and in truth." I pray in Jesus' name, amen.

Dannah: I know that teaching from Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth was heavy on conviction. I have two pieces of good news.

First, the woman we’ve been hearing about—the woman at the well—she discovered freedom from her guilt. As Nancy continues this series over the next several days she’ll show you how to find freedom too.

Second, the other good news is we’re about to hear another story about another woman. Andrea Griffith could relate to this woman at the well and all the guilt she was hiding. Andrea found freedom, and we’re about to hear that story. She shared it at one of the True Woman conferences hosted Revive Our Hearts.

Andrea Griffith: When I first met Nancy years ago, I was the complete opposite of a True Woman. My heart so resonated with what Mary Kassian was talking about today. I have lived out every one of those personal consequences that she just brought to us from Isaiah 3.

For years the words that went around in my head were, “You did it. You hid it. You will never be rid of it.” You see, as a seventeen-year-old, I was in church every time the doors were open with my family. I was a leader in my youth group . . . and I was pregnant.

It says in Proverbs 28:13, “Whoever covers his sin shall not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes his sin will find mercy.” And while I knew that verse in my head, I did not believe it. And when I look back now, it was like God was giving me a chance to come clean and to get open and honest about who I was and to walk in His light. But instead, I chose the way of darkness. I chose to cover. I ended the life of my unborn child through abortion. And that was the beginning of a very long, downhill spiral for me.

I continued to put on my Christian front of being the good Christian girl, but I also continued my life of immorality. I just kept thinking that somehow I could satisfy this emptiness on the inside of me. My blatant sent sin was my attempt to fill the hole in my heart that only God could fill. Thank goodness God, in His mercy, was pursuing me even when I wasn’t pursuing Him.

One morning I was doing the good Christian girl thing and I had my Bible open, and I remember God clearly speaking to my heart. He said, “Andrea, if you do not get honest about your past and where you’ve been and what’s going on in your life, then we are going no further.” That scared me to death, because I knew He was my only way out.

So, I went and found an older, godly woman and I told her about my immorality and about the abortion. Then I met with her and her husband. And in that meeting, they just asked so many questions and quoted so much Scripture that when I left that meeting, the conviction of God was so heavy on my heart. I didn’t know what to do, so I just went and found a room in a church and I got alone with God.

I fell on my face before the Lord, and God, in His mercy, came and met with me. And for the first time, I saw my sin the way a holy God had seen it the entire time. I was undone. I saw the wickedness of my heart. I’d never seen that before. It was the ugliest thing I’d ever seen. And yet, here this faithful God was still pursuing me.

I thought I had a relationship with Him, so I just did the only thing I could think of to do. I started with the top of my head and went to my toes and I gave God every part of me. And what took me months to realize was that that was the point of my salvation.

In Luke 6:46, Jesus is speaking and He says, “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord’ but do not do what I say?” Well, I had been calling Jesus “Lord” for years, but I had never obeyed Him as Lord. I’d never placed my life under the authority of Christ. And that day, in that room, was the first time I had ever repented.

After that, everything changed for me. I could not get enough of God’s Word. It would leap off the page at me. I would open the Bible and it was like God was just speaking to me, teaching me, “This is how you live. This is the way. Walk ye in it.” I was terrified that I was going to fall back into immorality because that was the pattern of my life, going from relationship to relationship. So God gave me my life verse, which is 2 Peter 1:3,

But God, through his divine power, has given us everything we need for life and for godliness through the true knowledge of him.

Well, for the first time I had the knowledge of Him and I could live a godly life. So while all this great stuff was going on with the Lord, at the same time I still continued to hear that voice, “You did it. You hid it. You will never be rid of it.” 

I began to get very, very sick. What I found out later was just all the emotional turmoil, all the guilt, all the shame that I was carrying, started to show up physically. I was so sick I couldn’t even hold down a part-time job. I was diagnosed as having chronic fatigue syndrome. I just hated who I was and what I’d done. And yet, I couldn’t get away from myself. But still, that faithful God was just pursuing me.

One morning I went to church and the preacher that morning was teaching on bitterness. He started talking about how when you’re bitter you have no strength, and yet, you have no rest. Then he talked about how it shows up in our spirits that we have this critical, fault-finding, negative spirit. And the more this guy talked, the more I realized he was describing my life.

I sat there in the service just asking the Lord, “God, who am I bitter towards? If I’m bitter, and it sounds like I am, then You know it. Would You please show me who I’m bitter towards?”

And God, again, clearly spoke to my heart and said, “Andrea, you are so bitter toward yourself. You have never received the forgiveness that I already gave you when I died on the cross.”

 

In my pride that I thought was humility—it was just my pride of thinking that it would take me years of penance to pay off the debt that I owed. But the reality is, I can never ever pay that price. That’s why Jesus came. Only Jesus could pay the debt that I owed. His substitute fully paid my debt. God was waiting on me to humbly accept the forgiveness that He had already given. He’s provided a new life, and He wanted me to walk in the freedom of that! Not bound by my sin and my shame of my past.

Yes, I did it. And yes, I hid it. But because Christ took my place on that cross I’m learning and I’m growing in the Scripture. People ask me so many times, “How did you get free? How did you get well?” I did slowly start getting well physically, and what happened for me was when the big stack of Scripture got bigger than my own thoughts and feelings, and I chose to believe what the Scripture said over what I thought and felt, God began to heal me and set me free.

Yes, I did it. Yes, I hid it. But because Christ took my place on that cross, I am finally rid of it.

Dannah: That’s Andrea Griffith, offering hope that so many women need. Maybe you understand when Andrea said “You did it.” And “You hid it.” 

But she’s given you hope that you can be rid of it—rid of your sin.

This is exactly why Revive Our Hearts exists—to help you experience true, lasting hope in Jesus Christ. One of our listeners contacted us to tell us how she found freedom and hope in her darkest times.

Woman: I have been through several trials in my life including divorce, abortion, and remarriage. Revive Our Hearts has been part of my Christian life since I became a believer in 2001. Nancy and many Revive Our Hearts guests have spoken truth into my life in some of those dark times. I started listening in Spanish when I was still living in my home country, Venezuela, in 2013.

Dannah: She went on to say that Nancy has mentored her through those difficult years, and she now has a seventeen-year-old daughter who listens, too. I always love to see truth being passed on to the next generation of women God is raising up. 

The reason we’re able to be a light in the dark places and reach women around the world—like this woman in Venezuela—is because of the Lord working through listeners like you. When you financially support Revive Our Hearts, you are investing in lasting, kingdom work. You are a part of changing your world for Christ. 

Which is why, this month, when you make a donation of any amount to this ministry, you’ll receive a copy of volume 1 of (Un)remarkable: Ten Women Who Impacted Their World for Christ, as well as a digital copy of volume 2. These resources feature the stories of ordinary women who made an extraordinary difference for the Lord. When you support Revive Our Hearts, you’re part of something extraordinary too, as you help women find freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ. 

The month of May is especially important for us because it marks the end of our fiscal year. We’re asking God for $828,000 this May, to finish the year well and prepare us for the work He wants to do in the coming season. Would you consider partnering with us as we provide even more women with trusted tools that will help them experience and share the gospel of Jesus? Visit ReviveOurHearts.com to make your gift of any amount, or call us at 1-800-569-5959, and request your (Un)remarkable resources. 

I want to ask you: where do you go to meet your thirst? What kinds of things are you running toward to satisfy? Tomorrow Nancy will show us how true worship changes our hearts and our ultimate desire for Christ. Please be back for Revive Our Hearts.

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth helps you experience freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

All Scripture is taken from the NIV84.

*Offers available only during the broadcast of the podcast season.