Here Comes the Bridegroom

Dannah Gresh: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is known as a speaker and author. But she actually has another job.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: One of my callings in life is to be a wedding coordinator, and here’s what I mean by that. I feel like my calling in life is helping the Bride get ready for the wedding.

Dannah: Still confused? Keep listening. This is Revive Our Hearts with wedding coordinator Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. It’s Tuesday, July 18, 2023. I’m Dannah Gresh, also a wedding coordinator . . . and you can be too!

You’ll find out how as you listen to today’s classic message from Nancy. She recorded this series, “Here Comes the Bridegroom” in 2003. But I think you’ll discover that love stories will never get old. Nancy’s talking with us about the ultimate love story!

Nancy: I have to tell you that I love weddings. But I know someone who loves weddings even more than I do, and that's the Lord.

There's a lot about weddings in Scripture. In fact, you know, the Bible starts with a wedding and it ends with a wedding. And there are a lot of weddings in between.

I think of Jesus doing His first miracle at a wedding. I love that verse in the gospels that say that there was a wedding in Cana, and Jesus came. That's the kind of wedding to have—one where Jesus is there, where He is the center of the marriage and the relationship. But from start to finish, as we've said, the Bible is a love story; primarily a story of God's love for His people.

And we've talked about what it means for us to be the Bride of Christ, the fact that the Lord Jesus loves us and He has chosen us to be His Bride. If you're a child of God and you've come to Him through repentance and faith, that means that you are a part of the Bride of Christ.

And as we come to the last book of the Bible, we find that when the story of human history comes to a close; and we move into eternity, that at the close of that history will be another wedding. It's a grand wedding—the wedding of Christ and His Bride.

And really, life down here on earth is about getting ready for that wedding. There's a royal wedding coming. And we see, if we read the Scripture, that the Lord Jesus is coming back for His Bride.

In fact, in the last book of the Bible, the last chapter of the Bible, Revelation 22, three times the Lord Jesus says, "Behold, I am coming soon." And in that context, it talks about Him taking His Bride—that He is coming as a Bridegroom for His Bride. "I'm coming soon."

Now, to understand a little bit more about what it means that He is coming for His Bride, it helps us to go back a bit and just take a glimpse at some of the Jewish culture as it relates to weddings and marriage.

Some of you may have read that in Jewish culture that when a couple became betrothed that first of all often it was the result of an arranged marriage. We don't really relate to that well in our culture, although there are some cultures that use a form of this. It's interesting that some of those marriages seem to do better than some of our marriages where people choose the one they think they want to spend the rest of their lives with. Maybe that is because people in arranged marriages don't have quite the level of expectation of what their mate is going to be.

At any rate, in the Jewish culture in biblical times probably as a result of an arranged marriage, a couple when they were of age would become betrothed. Now, that's kind of an old-fashioned word. We think of it as being similar to being engaged. And it is similar, although the Jewish concept of betrothal was not like our engagements that can be made and broken.

In the Jewish culture, once you were betrothed, you were as good as married. A covenant had actually been signed and the only way you could break that betrothal was if one party was found to have been morally unfaithful during the betrothal period, before the marriage was actually physically consummated.

Now, at the time of the betrothal, the groom-to-be would pay a bride price, based on what he felt was the worth and the value or what he could negotiate for that bride.

They established a covenant and then they were considered married but the groom left. He left and he went back to his home and he began to prepare a place for his bride. Now, usually, their first home wasn't a home of their own. It was usually an addition he would make onto his parents home.

He left with a promise: "I'm coming back. I'm going to come back and take you to this place I'm preparing for you."

The day would come, usually it was about a year, but she didn't know exactly when he would return, but the day would come. She knew the day was coming that he would come back; he would take her to his home.

They would have a great wedding feast that would last about a week. They would consummate the marriage physically and they would then begin to live together as husband and wife.

But she had this waiting period during the betrothal. And what was she supposed to be doing during that waiting period? Why, getting ready for the wedding, getting ready for her bridegroom.

Now, what a picture this is of our relationship with Jesus Christ. The Scripture says that God sent His Son down to earth to find a Bride. And Jesus came to this earth and He selected a Bride for Himself.

He came to you and to me and He said, "I want you to be my bride." He paid the bride price. An incredible price. It was His lifeblood that He gave at Calvary where He died in our place, paying the price so that He could purchase us to belong to Himself.

And then, having purchased us, having signed a covenant sealed with His blood, He went back home. He left. But He left with a promise: "I'm coming back."

And He tells us when He's coming back three times in the last chapter of the Bible. "Behold! I am coming," what's the word? "Soon!" You say, what is soon? I don't know, but it's soon. And that's the hope we have as the Bride of Christ, that He has gone to prepare a place for us. That's what He's doing today in heaven, building a home for us, where He can take us to be His Bride.

So, what are we supposed to be doing in the meantime? Why, getting ready for the wedding! That's the purpose of our time here on earth—this betrothal period, if you will.

We're supposed to be getting ready for the wedding. We're engaged to Christ! Betrothed to Him. He has left us His Holy Spirit as kind of an engagement ring, a promise, a guarantee that the marriage will be consummated at the wedding supper of the Lamb.

So, how do we get ready for the wedding? How do we get ready for the return of Christ? Well, it helps me to think about what a young engaged woman does to get ready for her wedding.

We all know those girls, and at some time, most of you were one of those girls. You think about this engaged girl (maybe someone comes to mind), what are the things that are true of her?

Well, if it's the typical relationship, first of all, she's not thinking about anything else. I mean, she is totally, utterly preoccupied with thinking about her bridegroom and the wedding date to come.

She daydreams about this man. I mean, she's useless at work. She'll write his name, then she'll write her name, then her name with his name. This is just an obsession with her. She's counting the days. She's counting the hours. I mean, you ask an engaged girl how long until the wedding. The guy, you know, he's out there somewhere. He's not counting days and hours quite like she is. But she's eagerly anticipating and longing for that day to come.

She's making plans and preparations during this whole engagement period. She wants everything to be just right. She's making lists. She's making lists of her lists. Everyone around her gets involved in the preparation for that wedding.

She spends time with this guy, she spends time planning the wedding, she spends money, well, her dad spends money. But, money on the relationship. Calling all hours of the day and night. It's amazing to me how these engaged couples can talk six hours on the phone without a break. Then you watch them after they are married six years, and they can't think of anything to say to each other. It really kind of strange how this seems to happen in relationship—but not while she's engaged!

I'm told that the average wedding today costs $25,000. It's hard to believe. You wish they would spend so much time and effort preparing for marriage as for the wedding! But money is no object to this engaged young woman.

She's talking about this man all the time, to anyone who will listen . . . and even to people who don't want to listen. You have to listen. She doesn't try to hide her relationship, in a healthy relationship, she doesn't keep it a secret.

She wants everyone to know how wonderful he is and she doesn't care what other people think because all that really matters to her is what she thinks of him.

I'll tell you something else about that engaged gal; she doesn't date other guys. At least you hope not. You know why? She's not available. She's taken. And she wears that engagement ring as a sign, as evidence that she's taken.

So, as we think about that girl, don't we have a picture of how we, as the Bride of Christ, need to be getting ready for the wedding? Eagerly waiting and anticipating, longing for the day when He will come and consummate the marriage, take us to His home? Shouldn't our relationship with Christ and our coming wedding to Him be uppermost on our minds, our hearts, our thoughts?

Second Timothy 4:8 tells us that there's a crown of righteousness that awaits those who have longed for His appearing. Matthew 25, Jesus said to be watchful. Be alert. Be prepared. Be thinking about this because you don't know the hour when He will return (see v. 12).

As the Bride of Christ, should we not be making Him our top priority? Not consuming our lives and frittering away our time with unnecessary things but:

• Longing to be with Him.
• Wanting to please Him.
• Wanting to talk to Him.
• Wanting to spend time with Him.

And doesn't it seem it would be natural that we would want to talk about Him to other people? I mean, that engaged gal does.

Ladies, we're engaged to be married to Jesus! And why should it be so difficult for us to talk about Him then to others? You see, witnessing to people who don't know Jesus is really just the overflow of a love relationship! Shall we not be planning, preparing, wanting everything to be just right for Him?

I've said, half jokingly but at least half seriously over the years, that one of my goals in life, one of my callings in life is to be a wedding coordinator. And here's what I mean by that.

I feel like my calling in life is to help the Bride get ready for the wedding. I want to be ready and I want to spend my life—and that's what we're trying to do through the ministry of Revive Our Hearts—helping women get ready for the real wedding, making sure that we're prepared, that we're ready to stand before Him and face Him with joy and without shame, making sure that we're not frittering away our lives and our time with things that really don't matter in light of eternity.

But that we're using every opportunity here on this earth, in the course of everyday life, as a wife, as a mom, as an employee, as a friend, as a neighbor, as a church member, seeing that all of life is really about getting ready to see our Bridegroom.

That's our mission. That's the mission of Revive Our Hearts—getting ready for the wedding. And that ought to be your mission. That ought to be my mission.

Lord, our hearts do look forward to that day when we'll be reunited with our Bridegroom, our heavenly Bridegroom. We just say, we want to be ready. Forgive us for being consumed and sidetracked and our attention diverted with so many things that will not be of eternal significance.

I pray that You would restore and rekindle in us that first love, that sense of anticipation and expectation. Remind us in the course of everyday life that even in the upsets and the hurdles and the disappointments and the challenges that You're really just providing us an opportunity to be more ready to meet Jesus.

So, help us to see all of life from that point of view. I pray in Jesus' name, amen.

Dannah: That’s Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. That series, “Here Comes the Bridegroom” first aired in 2003. In all those years, by God’s grace, Nancy and Revive Our Hearts haven’t stopped serving as a wedding coordinator. We want to help the Bride get ready to meet Jesus, the perfect Bridegroom.

Hayley Adkins is part of the Bride of Christ—the Church. But in 2020 she felt like something was missing. She knew her experience with the Lord could go deeper.

Hayley Adkins: I was listening to all the podcasts I could listen to. I was seeking in my own studies, but sometimes you just need more. Sometimes you can feed on it and feel it around you, but you just need more. You want to know the next step, how to grow deeper, how to search more, how to do that Scripture the right way. Even though God gives you what you need in each moment of the day. But sometimes you just need to sit and let it soak in.

Dannah: A question also began stirring in Hayley’s heart. Why did God create me to be a woman? How are women created unique and different from men? The Lord led Hayley to a Bible study that had been sitting on Hayley’s bookshelf unread for a long time. It was True Woman 101, by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Mary Kassian.

Kimberly Wagner: When we are living out God's design the way He has designed us, then we are able to demonstrate to others God's glory. When we have that relationship with our husband that people can look at say, "That's a transformation," only God can do that. That brings Him glory and that's what we are called to do.

Nancy: And we demonstrate the responsiveness that the Church is supposed to have toward Christ as the husband. We are picturing for the world that earthly picture of a heavenly reality that the Church is to be responsive, tender to Christ—not weak, not run over. Christ doesn't run over us. He loves them; He nurtures them. But it makes it a lot easier on the guys if as women we will be malleable, responsive.

Holly Elliff: It makes it impossible for a guy to be a shepherd, to be strong, if the woman is insistant that she is in control. It makes it impossible for him to do what God has called him to do.

Mary Kassian: I feel bad for the women today because really they are shooting themselves in the foot. More than anything they want to have good, healthy relationships that last and are fulfilling. In a sense, it's the same goal. All of us want to have those types of relationships, but the way to go about getting that type of relationship is by following God's design.

Women are so relational that if we don't have that softness that welcomes relationships, we are really going to cut off what we need the most, what we want the most. I believe we were created for relationship. Women yearn for relationships that is very unique to what it means to be a woman.

Hayley: So I took it off my bookshelf. I told my husband, "I think I'm going to do this. Will you pray for me because I'm not really sure what it has inside of it. I know God's truth is there, but I don't know what is going to happen."

The ladies were saying, "Let's do a study."

And I said, "Lord, is that You telling me that this is what we need to do?

So I just surrender and said, "Okay."

So I did the study first. God did a work in me. Then I said, "Okay, I'll take this to the church." So August of 2020 we had sixty ladies sign up to be part of a Bible study in the midst of a pandemic, at the church.

It was amazing! Opening God's Word to truth and understanding what He has created you for and why allowed me and these ladies, I believe, to get through one of the toughest times in our history. 

Dannah: Here’s a few things God did in Hayley’s heart through the True Woman 101 study.

Hayley: I felt like I didn't have to give my opinion to my husband anymore, because he leads, and I follow. It's not meaning that I'm a doormat, not meaning that I don't have a say. But I get to allow him to be who God created him to be, so I can be who God created me to be. That is freeing!

Even though I am a take charge leadership person, I didn't have to be. It was easy to submit that and allow it to become natural. Because when natural leadership happens, God is glorified, because it's not about you, it's about Him and what He's done.

I don't have a same gifts and abilities that my husband has. God didn't create him that way. He created me that way. So I needed to use them to the best of my ability. But I cannot use those gifts, talents, and abilities that God created in me that was really pleasing to Him because I did not understand them.

Going through True Woman 101 allowed me to understand who God created me to be—not as a reflection just of Him, but to be thankful that He created me to be a woman pleasing to Him as I do His work.

That's why I am very thankful that I left the book on the shelf for as long as I did, because I did not need to pull it off. God ordains all things. Literally, I went through two moves before I took the book off my shelf. If God doesn't ordain that, then He's not God. I'm so thankful that He is and I am not. He makes beautiful things out of obedience.

I think that was the key for me: I was obedient to search for Him, to seek Him, and to help guide other ladies to know who they are in Christ. Within that I have gotten some great friendships and relationships.

When you are obedient to the Lord, you are able to serve Him more. You're able to see with eyes of faith and not my natural eye. I am thankful for that.

Dannah: Hayley attended Revive '21, a conference hosted by Revive Our Hearts.

Hayley: We’re sitting there and it was a new refresh and a new aroma of the Lord because it was based on Him—not on a book or the entertainment of a song—but of His Word and what He has done in people's lives and how He has accomplished His work through them. I want to be a part of that. When God is working, I want to be beside that. I want to grow. I want to let Him know that I am His. I don't care what happens around me. I want to stand up boldly before Him and share my faith of Him.

Dannah: I’m so grateful for Hayley serving so faithfully as a pastor’s wife, getting filled up with the Lord and passing His truth on to the women of her congregation. I’m so glad Revive Our Hearts can be part of serving this church through resources like True Woman 101.

If you’d like to get a copy of that study from Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth and Mary Kassian, visit ReviveOurHearts.com.

We’re able to serve churches through conferences, resources and webinars thanks to listeners like you who believe in this ministry and want to help make it possible.

When you donate any amount this week, we’d like to show our thanks by sending you a notepad. Off to the side of each sheet you’ll read a quote from Nancy that says, “Anything that makes me need God is a blessing.” Then you have plenty of lines to write yourself a note or encourage someone else with a note.

We’ll send you the notepad when you donate any amount at ReviveOurHearts.com, or call us at 1-800-569-5959. 

Would a bride come to her own wedding in a dirty dress?

Nancy: Every bride is beautiful, as you know. But as we see this bride, something is out of place. First look at her veil. And as she approaches the aisle closer to where we are standing, it looks like her veil is askew. It's off. Then we get closer and we see that her veil is torn. It looks like it has been stuffed in a box. It's all wrinkled. Then we realize it's not just the veil, it's the bride herself. Her face is dirty.

Dannah: Nancy will help you imagine that scenario tomorrow. Please be back, for Revive Our Hearts.

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is helping the Bride of Christ get ready for the ultimate wedding. 

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