Orbits, X-Rays, and Reset Buttons

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Emily Jensen encourages the mom who's worried she's not doing enough. 

Emily Jensen: There is a freedom in following Him and saying, “I'm not always going to get it right. I'm not always going to do it perfectly, but I can entrust my life to God and steward the various callings that He's given me. 

Dannah Gresh: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Adorned, for Friday, May 9, 2025. I'm Dannah Gresh.

Nancy: Mother's Day is right around the corner, and if you're a mom, I want to take a moment to encourage you, to remind you that the work you're doing, hard as it may be at times, really matters. 

If you're walking into this Mother's Day weekend feeling exhausted or discouraged, maybe like you're being pulled in one hundred directions and just can't do it all, then today's episode is for you. 

Dannah Gresh, Emily Jensen, and Laura Wifler are wrapping up their series called "Gospel Mom." They're talking about what orbits, X-rays, and reset buttons have to do with living out the gospel in motherhood. Curious about what that means? Well, stick with us to find out. 

But first, here's Laura to unpack what she and Emily mean by the term “gospel.”

Laura Wifler: You can look at the “gospel” a couple different ways. I think most people, when they hear the gospel, they often think of that specific moment in time when Christ gave up His life for us. He died for our sins, rose again three days later, and He now gives us new life in Christ. 

And that is certainly sharing the gospel, kind of a traditional evangelistic way of of teaching it. But how we like to talk about it a lot at Risen Motherhood includes that, but it also pulls back, and it looks really at the overarching story of God's plan for His people and really talks through what was His original design and intention of making Adam and Eve and making all humanity and giving them all good things. 

So we call that creation. Then we walk through the Fall. And the Fall is really when Eve and Adam decided to disobey God. They didn't think what He had was good enough for them. Now sin infiltrates everything on earth. That not only has infected our hearts with sin, but also the ground of the world is cursed. 

So some things that aren't due to sin now occur, things for moms like infertility and miscarriage, disability, those painful, sorrowful, hard things, even things like how our kitchens never stay clean, how we're constantly having to do laundry, those are often not the result of sin, usually not.

Emily: Are you sure?

Laura: Could be. (laughter) But they are something that is constant. We are going to have to the toil of the Fall. It is real, and it affects our lives. And what is so helpful for a mom is it gives her context. Because I think so often moms are like, “Oh, why do I have to clean the floor all the time? Why is there always dirt in my home? Why can we never get to soccer practice on time?”

Dannah: Mine is always, “Why do I have to buy milk? I bought it last week.” Anything repetitive, right? 

Laura: It's like, “How many pairs of sweatpants do I have to buy my son? They are all dirty. They will always all be dirty.” But it also explains those hard, painful things, like disabilities, like infertility. We have something to point back to. We can look and see these are products of the Fall. 

But then we have redemption. This is that part we were talking about, where Christ came and He lived a perfect life for us. He gave us an example. What does it look like to live in the midst of the Fall and all of this pain and all this sorrow? How do we behave and act? God gives us a model through Jesus Christ, His Son. Then, as Emily talked about, He gives that perfect sacrifice. He gives up His life for us. We can follow that pattern of self-sacrifice and life-giving and giving up our lives for our children. But then we know Christ rose again three days later. He ascended into heaven, but He didn't leave us alone. He gave us the Holy Spirit. 

We've been talking a lot about what the Holy Spirit does for a mom. The Holy Spirit renews us. He guides us. He gives us words to say. He helps us know what to do. He lives in our hearts, if we trust in Christ. And so, that's a hope we have for this moment right here. When you're angry and you're mad and you feel like you can't not yell; you can ask the Holy Spirit for help, and He will help you. It is real, it is true, and it is for you in the moment. 

But then we also have consummation. We have that final step in the Gospel story where we look ahead to where God consummates His plan. We know that we will be swept up into heaven with Him, and He will make a new earth. He will renew this whole earth, giving us bodies that are new. He will take away pain and sorrow. That's something that we can look forward to, like we talked about at the beginning of this, where we can look ahead and know that there is hope coming. This life isn't all there is, that there's actually a lot more at play. 

So when we talk about a gospel mom, our desire is for her to know this story, even just those main highlighted points, because every single one of them will matter to how she is then able to engage in those little moments of the day, like we talked about. Like, what does it really look, like boots on the ground, to apply the gospel when your kids are sick? Well, knowing that story and some of those highlights really helps give tangibility. My child is sick because of the Fall. I don't have to find patient zero in this instant. I don't have to fret and worry. But I can know there's a cause, and it stinks, but that's the reality of life on this earth. 

Then we can know that, hey, I have Christ. While I have all these things that I need to do, I know Jesus was busy too. He didn't get every single thing done, but He did all that the Father commanded Him to do. So, you can follow in that. You can walk in the pattern of Christ, loving your children, and knowing that Christ faced any temptation that you have faced. So He knows, and He's there for you. He cares for you. He's given you His Holy Spirit to help you walk through those sick days with your kids and the hope of heaven, where there will be no more sickness. This isn't something that's going to last forever. So you can put your hope in that and know that someday you're not going to be cleaning up vomit on the sheets anymore. That's a nice hope. That's a beautiful hope. 

Dannah: You know, I didn't have this question that's running around in my head right now, in my notes, but I feel like I want to ask it. It's a hard one. I know I promised you guys earlier I wasn't going to ask you a hard question, but this is a very specific hard question based on that definition of a gospel mom, based on having a gospel perspective of your children. 

I want to ask how you would advise this mom that I was talking with the other day? She loves Jesus. She is actively involved in volunteering for a national ministry, a beautiful national ministry. She has two beautiful teenage children. She is raising them up to love Jesus. But she told me that she has not been away alone with her husband in the eighteen years since she's had children, even though he has begged over and over again, “Let's go away for a weekend, or let's go away for a vacation.” She feels like motherhood is her first job, and she doesn't want to leave the children. Please tell me how to advise that mom based on this philosophy of being a gospel mom?

Emily: I think it's common. We have talked about this off and on. Deep down as moms, we want to know for sure that we're doing good. We want to love our kids. There is something tangible, guttural, even, about protecting them, loving them, wanting to pour into them. 

I think one of the sad, twisted ways that the Fall affects us is that we can take a good thing, a right thing, even a right desire, and we can elevate it too high. We can start to worship that good thing. We can start to feel like I couldn't live, or I would be destroyed, or my identity would be destroyed if I didn't do this good thing in this certain way. We take it too far, and it becomes a distortion of it. 

 

I think that sometimes in motherhood. I don't know if this is what's going on with this mom without knowing her heart, but if there is this sense that, hey, performing this certain motherhood where I'm not away from my kids, and I give them a certain amount of time, and I only do these certain things . . . If that becomes her identity and her sense of “I am good if,” or “I have failed if I take a trip away," or "I will harm my kids if I do this or I do that,” I would wonder, Is her heart orbiting around God with Him on the throne? 

Actually, I can trust God with my children when I'm not here because He ultimately sees all and protects all. It's not all up to me. I can recognize that God has given me multiple callings, not just the calling of motherhood. He's also given me a calling as a wife. He's given me a calling as a disciple of Christ. Boy, the way that those things interact is sometimes complicated, but I'm not going to have to forsake one for the other. God's calling is never going to ask us to disobey something else he's called us to do. 

So being a wife is really important. If we are orbiting our lives around God, and we're saying, “He gets to decide the priority of my life.” Even if I'm a little uncomfortable with it, or I'm uncomfortable with it, or even if that is confusing at times, she can reorder and say, “My husband is asking me to do this. It's important for me to serve him too.” Again, I can trust my kids to Him. 

I feel like for this mom, where that gospel piece really comes home is this idea of what makes her good before the throne of God? Well, Jesus Christ, and so in Him, she is declared good. She is very good. She doesn't have to earn it or perform it. There is a freedom in following Him and saying, “I'm not always going to get it right. I'm not always going to do it perfectly. But I can entrust my life to God and steward the various callings that He's given me” 

That may include, it sounds like in this case, it ought to include taking a vacation with your husband. I think there's so many times in life where people have a posture towards God, or they assume that He has a posture towards them of just waiting until you do something wrong. “You gotta walk on eggshells around Me because I don't really want you to delight in anything.” 

We have a God who loves us and who gave us a beautiful creation and the joy of relationships. He does want us to enjoy things. He does want us to delight. He wants us to rest. He wants us to laugh. And yes, I think God wants us to go on vacations with our husbands sometimes. 

Dannah: I think a really important concept is a word you just used there: orbit. What this book invites us to do is make Christ the orbit of our lives. I think many of us as Christian moms, and even non-Christian moms, we make the mistake that to be a good mom, my life has to orbit around my children. This book kind of debunks that. It makes it feel comfortable to understand that I can trust my children to God's plan for their lives. I am not the beginning and the end of everything for them. 

That’s one of the things I got out of the book that I loved. What was it in the book (I'd like to hear from each of you) as you wrote this book, was your takeaway? Because nobody's learning more than the writer, right? So what was your takeaway, that you said, “This is my new tool for my motherhood box, this is going to give me something from God's Word for me to do motherhood well”?

Laura: We have a chapter called “Heart Motivations.” Emily and I spent a lot of time on this chapter. I wonder if this will be your same answer, Emily. It was one of those things where we had sort of always talked about it in general terms, but in order to write the book, we had to start to teach other people how to work through some of their own heart motivations. It can be really hard to organize those thoughts. Any writer knows that it can be really hard to kind of put into words and encapsulate one of these things that you commonly talk about. 

For heart motivations, it's just a tool that I feel like I have found myself after writing the book using all the time as I examine my own heart and why I'm making decisions that I'm making. Goodness, I need to have those questions off the top of my head. So maybe Emily can . . . 

Emily: I have them in my notes. 

Laura: Look at you. Okay, do you want to just list them off? Because I can list a few, but just list them cleanly for everyone. 

Emily: Of course, the first one is: 

• Is the cost to me or our family worth it? 
• How does this align with our circumstances and values? 
• How permanent is this decision? 
• Can I be transparent about this decision?

Laura: So these are things you probably heard us mention as we've talked about other topics within the show. These are just little X-ray questions that we can use that can really help reveal what is triggering decisions that we're making. 

I think an example I've thought about a lot is aging. So, I know that's just for every woman. I feel like you start hitting thirty, and I know that sounds young, but you are starting to think, I look old. There is just something in culture that begins to push us toward feeling not enough in our beauty and in our looks. Motherhood can be hard. Many women have had multiple babies by that age. 

I started to think through, What am I looking for in beauty treatments? Or what am I looking for in a lotion or a potion or a makeup or things like that? It has been really helpful for me to think through some of these questions of how permanent is the decision? Something like Botox is very different than buying lotion, a facial moisturizer or something. We're getting really deeply practical here. Then thinking through just what does my husband value? What does he care about around me? Having conversations that are real and raw about how does he see beauty? How does he think about these things? Like, adding that into the pile of what I can think about, or how I can frame things like beauty treatments? How transparent can I be? 

So yeah, that's another one where I think a lot of us, especially when it comes to aging, we start to kind of feel like, I don't want anyone to know how hard I'm working, or I want to hide a lot of what's going into making this face show up as it does. It doesn't mean you have to tell everyone everything that you do. But are you willing to be honest about it with one or two people who should know these things? 

And so, I don't know that you can apply it to any decision that you're facing, but I really enjoyed working through and narrowing down some decisions by doing an X-ray of the heart. And for me, it's been really convicting as I sort through decisions and think through, Is this really something that I want to enter into? Or is this something that maybe I'm being self-serving and I'm only thinking about myself and what I want in this situation and not really looking at the picture through Scripture? 

Dannah: Yeah, that's good. X-ray of the heart, I like that. We’ve got the orbit thing going. We got the X-ray. These are good word pictures to take away. Emily, as you wrote the book, what did the Lord teach you?

Emily: Yeah, this book was definitely a good thing for us to go through at a detailed level. I will say one of the things that's on my mind right now that we wrote about in the book. I really appreciated how we looked at the way our spiritual disciplines and habits shape us into a person that is growing in Christ, is growing towards God, is able to orbit around Him . . . or is making it harder or stunting us in our growth towards God. 

I think a lot of times, especially in motherhood, we're busy. There's that phrase “the tyranny of the urgent.” There's lots of things needing your attention right now, and sometimes we're doing things that are urgent, but they're not the most important things. It's really difficult. It takes intentional choices to say, “I am going to spend time in the Word of God. I am going to pray. I am going to go to church and be a part of the family of God. I am going to curate some of the media that I take in. I'm going to be careful about the way that the things I watch and read are shaping my worldview. I am going to invest in the basics of my health, according to the way God designed us, in a way that's going to help me serve God and love others more. 

And so, I think that that's hard. It seems like for me, every few months I have to sort of reset in that area. I was just sending Laura a message today, and I was like, “I feel like we're always drifting, and the drift is not towards holiness.” The drift is always into the flesh, into the things of the world. And so, it seems like every few months I have to sort of yank myself back and be like, “No, this is where I stand. These are the boundaries I put on my life. These are the things I prioritize even when I don't feel them.

Dannah: I call that pushing the reset button. I encourage women to do it freely.

Emily: Yes! Yes!

Dannah: There we go. I've added: orbit, X-rays, reset. This is good. My heart is enriched. You know what I'm thinking is for every mom listening, for every woman listening, sit down. Have gospel-driven conversations with gospel-driven women, because the conversations are different. I'm leaving filled up. I hope you guys are too. 

Of course, we've been talking about stuff that you wrote in your book. So you're filling my heart, but I believe everyone listening is feeling the same way right now. 

I wonder, first of all, as you sunset Risen Motherhood, thank you. Thank you for birthing Risen Motherhood. Thank you for nurturing it. Thank you for being faithful. Thank you for showing us that it is often a good thing to say goodbye to a good thing. You've modeled how to do that really well. You didn't just leave. You did it with intention, with care. I. We're praying for you as we watch you move into your next season of calling. We're excited to hear from you again when it's the right time. 

But I wonder. I'm going to ask Laura if you might pray for the mom who feels just really called to push the reset button or to take an X-ray of her heart or to reestablish the orbit of her life as Jesus. Would you lift her up? 

Laura: Absolutely. I would love to.

Father God, You are high and holy, and we love you so much. We are so grateful for the truths of Scripture that remind us that there is so much freedom in following You. We are grateful that you give us just wide boundaries, that you give us streams to walk by and green pastures. 

Lord God, I just want to pray for any mom on the other side who is listening and that You have pricked her spirit through this conversation and she's feeling like perhaps she needs a reset. God, I pray that You would just direct her in her thoughts and in her purposes and intentions. Lord, that she would take the next step to not only be thinking about these things and having those desires, but God, that they would begin to speak to friends and see how they're doing it, to have women to walk alongside with gospel friendships that encourage them in Scripture and in truth and in really aligning her conscience to what the Holy Spirit teaches. 

Father, I pray that You would remind her of the truth that the Holy Spirit does live in her soul, and that He is living and active. And God that Your Scripture is living and active, and that you just transform her from the inside out, that she always has a Helper with her. 

I pray that she would just trust in that Lord and do the next thing that You are leading her in. God, I pray that You would remind her also of the hope of heaven, that this life is not all there is, but that there is so much more to look forward to and to hope on. 

God that that would propel her today to just continue to be faithful in where You have her. That she can make changes, some big, some maybe small, but God in all of that, that she would just walk alongside You. I pray that she would walk in step and trust You as You guide her and lead her. Thank you, God, for just Your goodness and kindness to all of us. In Your name we pray, amen.

Nancy: Amen. That's Dannah Gresh wrapping up a conversation with moms, Emily Jensen and Laura wiffler, and how good it is to be reminded that we have the Holy Spirit living inside of us to help us no matter what the chaos of motherhood may bring or the chaos of life. 

Maybe you're a weary mom who's feeling tired and alone. Know that you have a Helper living inside you always. I hope you've also been encouraged to find other gospel moms to walk alongside you, to help you ask those X-ray questions, and push the reset button when you need it. 

I'm so grateful that Revive Our Hearts gets to walk alongside moms too, even from across oceans. One of our Spanish listeners wrote to us with these kind words of encouragement. She said: 

God has used Aviva Nuestros Corazones to make me understand God's view of motherhood. The ministry also helped me see my marriage as God sees it. You've taught me that His Word is more profitable than any episode I listen to. The emphasis you give to the Word has marked me a lot. May God continue to use you greatly in the lives of many.

Well, thank You, Lord, for making Your Word central in this listener's life, and for using Revive Our Hearts as part of that process. It's so humbling to be a part of the ministry of God's Word and to see moms like this one embrace their calling and become what Emily and Laura would call gospel moms. 

Revive Our Hearts is able to reach women all around the world because listeners like you give generously to support this ministry. If you've already given to Revive Our Hearts this month, then we want to say a huge thank you. Thank you for joining us in this mission.

If you haven't had a chance to give yet but you love Revive Our Hearts and you want to see this ministry continue to flourish, would you prayerfully consider making a donation during the month of May? This month is when we wrap up another year of ministry, and we're believing God to raise $810,000. That will set us up well for another year of ministry starting in June. 

If your testimony is similar to this Spanish listener, if Revive Our Hearts has helped you love God's Word more, then we'd love to have you join in this mission alongside of us so that even more women can experience freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ. 

When you make a donation of any amount, we'd love to send you our 50 Promises Scripture Card Set as our way of saying, “Thank you for your generosity.” Just ask for the 50 Promises with your gift. Visit ReviveOurHearts.com, or call us at 1-800-569-5959. 

Now, Sunday is Mother's Day, and it's time to celebrate. If you're thinking, I'd love to grab a last minute little gift for the special moms in my life. Then we would love to commend Emily and Laura's book to you. It's called Gospel Mom: How to Make Biblical Decisions and Discover the Mom God Created You to Be. 

It's such a beautiful, practical resource. We're linking it in the transcript of today's episode so you can pick up a copy for yourself or for some mom friends you may know. Just click on the title of this episode at ReviveOurHearts.com. 

Next week, we'll be taking a look at a woman with a mother's heart who went to battle on behalf of God's people. We'll be looking at the life of Deborah starting on Monday. Have a wonderful weekend, Happy Mother's Day, and be sure if your mom is still here to thank her for the gift of life. Then, I hope you're able to go to church on Sunday and worship Christ with your local family of believers. Thanks for listening today, and be back with us next week for Revive Our Hearts.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

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