Grounded Podcast

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Be Kind, with Shaunti Feldhahn

Kindness has the potential to change the emotional climate of our culture. In this episode of Grounded, social researcher Shaunti Feldhahn explains why Christ-like kindness is the change we need.

Connect with Shaunti:

Instagram: @shauntifeldhahn



Take the 30-Day Kindness Challenge


Introduction: Kindness

Dannah Gresh: Ah, kindness. That such a lovely word, a lovely idea. It is until someone drives over your butterfly bushes. And you better believe there's a story to tell. And I'm going to tell it today on this episode of Grounded from Revive Our Hearts. I'm Dannah Gresh.

Portia Collins: And I'm Portia Collins. Our co-host, Erin Davis is waiting to join us in the virtual wings. We are eager to give you a dose of hope and perspective. As you can see, Dannah, I'm sorry, I'm already laughing. I want to know what happened to your butterfly bushes?

Dannah: Okay. Well, first, I think we need to make sure everybody's caught up on something that's going on this month at Revive Our Hearts. So, can you do that Portia? 

Portia: Absolutely. We are having our Kindness Challenge. I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. It sounds easy, but it has not been very easy.

Dannah: Exactly. 

Portia: We issued this challenge at the beginning of the month. And basically, there's two main things. We are only supposed to be speaking kind words for the month of July. And actually, beyond that, because we don't want this to just be a one-month thing. This is a springboard. We are also committing to do intentional acts of kindness, every day. 

Dannah: Every single day. Now, Portia, this is where it gets a little dicey. Because you see that first week of the Kindness Challenge, you and I were live on Revive Our Hearts YouTube and Facebook channels. We were just reminding everyone about the kindness challenge. We do that every day at 10 a.m. ET. 

You offered a unique, intentional act of kindness for that day. It was something like, respond with kindness if someone makes a mistake, because people will make mistakes. And that's one of the times we aren't very kind. You know, generally when we make a mistake, we know we don't need somebody to tell us with unkindness. Okay, so that was the kind act of the day. 

Now something you should know about my husband, Farmer Bob, who I affectionately call Farmer Bob.

Portia: I love it. 

Dannah: He has a soft spot in his heart for engines that have little to no life left in them. 

Portia: I remember you saying this.

Dannah: I don't understand. My lawnmower almost always needs jump started. Like I went to start it yesterday. And I was like, “Why do I even try.” I should just go and say, “Baby, I need to use the lawn mower. Can you turn it on?” Lawn mowers, tractors, and one black Envoy with nearly 300,000 miles on it. Portia, this car when we tried to trade it in for the one I'm now driving was worth $400. Does that tell you something about this vehicle? 

Well, I look out on that very afternoon that you said people are going to make mistakes so respond with kindness. And apparently, the Envoy no longer stays in park. It has rolled right through one of my favorite flower beds and took out the butterfly bush—pretty much in its entirety. There's a sprig of the butterfly bush. Look, you see that little tiny sprig in the foreground? That was an entire six-foot bush before the Envoy. 

Portia: I’m crying, laughing. 

Dannah: That bush is not gonna bloom this year. 

Portia: You know, Dannah, I’ve got to say that bush is no longer rooted and grounded. 

Dannah: Okay.

Portia: I’m having too much fun with this one. 

Dannah: I see what you did there. Okay. But Portia, when I saw it, when I looked out the window, I heard your words, your voice in my ear, “Respond with kindness, when someone makes a mistake.” Those words rolled through my head. When I saw that crushed butterfly bush, had I not been rooted and grounded and studying God's kindness and His Word this month, and had I not committed to asking the Lord to help me speak kind words when somebody made a mistake, this crash site would have also been a site of a fight between Bob and Dannah. But I held my tongue. I don't remember exactly what I said, but something kind and funny. In fact, it was so funny. My husband thought it would be fun to leave that there for the party we were having at my house that night so everybody could see. I was able to laugh through it. So that was a victory in my life because of the kindness challenge.

Portia: Oh, I love you and Farmer Bob Y’all are the best. Well, I have also committed to the Kindness Challenge, and as I said earlier, I've learned that kindness is not always easy. I like to think of myself as generally a really kind person. But this challenge has really showed me that I’ve got some room for improvement. I've seen how often I do default to unkind words or sometimes unkind thoughts or even facial expressions. My husband talks about that one. 

Dannah: You've heard the saying “if looks could kill,” right? 

Portia: Yes.

Dannah: Okay, so be kind. That's what we want to talk about today. Sounds simple. It can sound even trivial with everything our world is facing right now. The Bible calls us to kindness over and over and over. We have to rise up to this. And I'm learning that as I respond to even my proverbial butterfly bush crashes with kindness, it really does make a difference.

Portia: We believe that kindness can change the world. That's why I am eager to hear from our guest Shaunti Feldhahn this morning. We've shared if you've been following us with the Kindness Challenge, Shaunti has written a book called The Kindness Challenge. And she makes a bold claim. And that is, kindness can make your toughest relationships better and your good relationships great. And we're going to find out how today.

Dannah: Yeah, I definitely want to see my relationships grow. There's an endorsement on Shaunti's book cover. I just read the book cover to cover. It's so good. But even on the cover, I was intrigued. Because here's the essence of what that endorsement said, “Kindness has the potential to change the emotional climate of our culture.” Ah, I'm daring to dream this morning, that our kindness could have a ripple effect well beyond our homes. I would not describe the emotional climate of our current culture as kind, would you would you, Portia? It’s not.

Portia: I agree, I wouldn't. I would not either. 

Dannah: You know, what if it could be? That's what we want to dream together on this episode today. 

Portia: Yes, absolutely. And you know, guys, we depend on you to help us spread the word that Grounded is on. I know that you know people who need hope and perspective. So, one thing that you can do doesn't hurt one bit, is to hit that share button, or send a text right now letting someone know that it's time to tune in.

Good News: Kindness Stories

Dannah: Yeah. Shaunti’s with us also. Right now, it's time for some good news. Erin Davis is here to brighten our morning good morning, E. 

Erin: Hey, good morning Grounded friends. This is like the third time I've heard that butterfly bush story, and I still get the giggles. It's so good.

Portia: I was cracking up.

Erin: I'm so glad we get to share it with the world this morning. Here's a question for us to consider: can kindness and the Internet coexist? I hope so, because you're watching Grounded on the Internet right now, and we're talking about kindness. But this morning, we say yes. 

I've got a sampling of stories of kindness to brighten your day as we kick off this Monday morning. First, let's hop across the pond to Staffordshire, Great Britain. If that is not a British sounding name of a town, I don't know what is—Staffordshire, Great Britain. I have a feeling they're sipping Earl Grey over there right now. 

But that is the home of Sebbie Paul, and Sebbie is eighteen years old. He's running a bit of a kindness marathon. So when the pandemic hit way back 100 years ago, he decided he was going to respond to that by doing a random act of kindness every day. He's done that every day since the start of the pandemic. Sebbie has done something kind. Now, Sebbie has special needs. He has a rare chromosomal anomaly.

He's performed nearly 2,000 acts of kindness, while the rest of us are sometimes just struggling to see the good in the world. He is making his own good acts of kindness every day. He's done all kinds of things: He's walked neighbor's pets. He's washed cars. He's baked cakes. He's delivered warm coats to the homeless every day. A new act of kindness, that's his goal. 

Sometimes people pay Sebbie for those acts of kindness. You know, somebody mowed your lawn, you might slip them a $5 bill, or somebody brings you something nice, you want to return that. You know what Sebbie’s done with the $40,000 he's collected by those kinds of donations? Well, of course, he's been kind, and he's given every cent of way. So, way to go Sebbie.

Here's another story of kindness. This one's come from Sheboygan. I've always wanted to say Sheboygan. I've always wanted to go to Sheboygan. So, this morning, we're thinking about kindness in Sheboygan. Earlier this summer, a diver discovered a little green bottle in the river. Inside that bottle was a note that was dated, get this, November 1926. 

And the note said this, “Will the person who finds this bottle return this paper to George Morrow, Sheboygan, Michigan, and tell where it was found?” That had been in that river since 1926. So a diver found the note, posted the note on Facebook, and people started sharing it. Man, they have hundreds of 1,000s of shares. But there was one person who got very curious and decided they had to track down the owner. They found Michelle, the daughter of the man who put that note in the bottle. 

Now, her dad, the guy who had written that note 1926, tucked it away and threw it in the river. He had passed away, but through the kindness of strangers, Michelle got a 95-year-old note from her dad. And guess when that all transpired? On Father's Day, she got a note from her dad that was 95 years old on Father's Day. That is the power of Internet kindness, ladies and gentlemen. 

Is your heart warming up? Are you feeling inspired to be kind? Could you walk somebody's dog? Could you use your Facebook to do something kind? I'm feeling the same way this morning. 

So, what about this thought? What if that phrase “kill them with kindness” really worked? There's a couple in Tennessee that tried it. They own a coffee shop. They came into work one day, and they found that they were the recipients of some unkindness. Somebody or somebodies had taken spray paint and graffitied part of their property. But this couple, instead of calling the cops, they again took to Facebook. They said, “Hey, we're looking for a muralist who might turn this graffiti into something beautiful.” And the teenagers who did that graffiti, they saw the post. And you know what they did? This is remarkable. They came into the coffee shop. They asked to speak to the owners, and they apologized. And those owners allowed them to paint over the damage. And that led to a second social media post that celebrated the bravery of those teenagers in asking for forgiveness, and telling them they are loved. That's kindness.

You know, it doesn't have to cost a dime. It doesn't even have to be the cost of a stamp. Think about that free bottle thrown into the river and the strangers that helped it find its rightful owner. There's certainly plenty of bad news in the headlines this morning and plenty of junk in our social media feeds. But kindness, it seems, can be contagious. That's our good news for this morning, Portia.

Portia: Oh, Erin, I loved every bit of that good news. I found myself over here smiling.

Erin: Me too. I want to do a message in a bottle right now.

Kindness in the Word: Joshua 2:12–16

Portia: Yes, yes, absolutely. So that's good stuff. Well, before we hear from Shaunti, we want to open our Bibles to Joshua, the second chapter, we're going to be looking at verses 12 through 16. So if you get your Bibles join me, we're going to hear what God's Word has to say about kindness. 

“‘Now then, please swear to me by the Lord that, as I have dealt kindly with you, you also will deal kindly with my father's house, and give me a sure sign that you will save alive my father and mother, my brothers and sisters, and all who belong to them, and deliver our lives from death.’ And the men said to her, ‘Our life for yours even to death! If you do not tell this business of ours, then when the Lord gives us the land we will deal kindly and faithfully with you.’ Then she let them down by a rope through the window, for her house was built into the city wall, so that she lived in the wall. And she said to them, ‘Go into the hills, or the pursuers will encounter you, and hide there three days until the pursuers have returned. Then afterward you may go your way.’”

Alright, so if you're not familiar at this point, this is Rahab. This is Rahab’s encounter with spies, and we see that Rahab deals kindly with them. And so, I want to zoom in . . . If you know me, you know that I love to do Bible word studies. I want you to join me today as we zoom in on this word, “kindness.”

Now in the Hebrew, this word is hesed. It's found in so many places in the Old Testament. We see the word used as a descriptor of Jonathan and David's relationship. And First and Second Samuel, we also see the word in the book of Ruth when Boaz described Ruth's actions toward her beloved mother-in-law, Naomi. 

Hesed is not merely an emotion or feeling, it involves action on behalf of someone who is in need. Hesed encompasses or captures a sense of love that prompts a different kind of behavior toward another. We can't fully practice or fully embody hesed toward others without God. So at the heart of hesed is God's beautiful sense of compassion, grace, mercy, love, and kindness. And we can't fabricate this on our own. 

We need the Holy Spirit to work in our lives. And this is what we're really seeing here. We're seeing that Rahab has kindness toward the spies shows that her actions weren't just ordinary, they were extraordinary. We are also seeing that this is a showing of God's work behind the scenes. So, my challenge to you today is this: if you're finding yourself really struggling with this kindness challenge, if you're finding yourself struggling, then take some time to pray earnestly and ask the Holy Spirit to help you. This is not just something that we can do on our own. It's a byproduct of God's work in our lives.

Kindness Challenge with Shaunti Feldhahn

Dannah: Amen. Hesed is one of my favorite words in Scripture. Thanks for sharing that today, Portia. Shaunti Feldhahn is in the house. You have no idea how excited I am about that. Shaunti is a social researcher with a degree from Harvard University. She spent the early years of her career as an analyst on Wall Street, before turning her brilliant mind toward analyzing the data in relationships. And let me tell you, this is data that can change your marriage, it can change your friendships, it can change your coworkers’ relationships. Listen, I have long been a fan of Shaunti. I was hooked from her first book. Today, we're going to dive into the data from the Kindness Challenge. Listen to the subtitle of this book, 30 Days to Improve Any Relationship. I don't know about you, but I can't wait to hear what she's learned. Shaunti, welcome to Grounded.

Shaunti Feldhahn: Thanks. It's great to be with you. I've long been a fan of yours too. So, it works well. 

Dannah: We need to have coffee together sometimes—not over the technology. Yeah, I need to see you, my friend. Okay, so I just said, I read the book. I love it. I've read it twice. Actually, I just reread it as we're doing the Revive Our Hearts Kindness Challenge. So, I know the answer to this first question I want to ask, but it's really kind of a special answer. So where did you get the inspiration to write this book?

Shaunti: From Nancy. It was it was a very long and involved God story that I'll make very short. Years ago, I had been doing the Revive Our Hearts show with Nancy and she had talked about one of her challenges that she does, and in this case, it was encouraging our husbands. And it wouldn't leave my mind. There was something in there that was so important. I just kept going, “There's something there.” Like years past, I would suggest to women, you really need to do this. Then I finally went, “I need to actually study this.” I'm a researcher, right? Like, there's something really important there. I started to tweak it and tested and sort of figure out what are the things that really the matter the most about this challenge that Nancy was offering. And so, it ended up becoming the 30-day kindness challenge.

Dannah: I’m so glad. 

Shaunti: Yes. And let me just tell you that this has really powerfully impacted a lot of people over the last number of years. And it all traces back to Revive Our Hearts

Dannah: That's so cool. There was one specific woman. You met her, and you said, “Hey, listen, your marriage is in trouble, try this kindness challenge.” And then you were doing the data in the meantime. Then you met up with her again. Tell us about that.

Shaunti: Yeah, that was a very powerful moment. I went, “Okay, I need to actually do this.” I flew away from the church where I’d been doing a women's conference I had suggested, try this at the time (we were still not sure exactly what it was supposed to be). But try this 30-day kindness challenge, and try these specific things every day for 30 days. 

I fly away. You don't necessarily know the end of the story. You don't know what happens in the lives of the people that you've been speaking with. And three years later, I was at another event. Somebody asked a very similar question about a difficult marriage situation, just like this woman had had three years before. And I said, we are further along in the research, now I can really strongly suggest that you do this 30-day kindness challenge, and I explained what it was. And she was like, “Okay, fine.” 

And then another woman raised her hand and stood up. She said, “You won't remember me. But three years ago, you came to my church. I was explaining my marriage was falling apart. You suggested this.” She turned to this other woman and said, “If you will do this, you'll find it changes everything.” And she said, “I didn't want to do it, because I was mad at my husband.” But she said, “I did this and it changed everything.” 

She started to cry. And of course, at this point, I'm like bawling. She said “I had no idea until I started doing this that so many of our marriage issues weren't just because of him. Some of it was because of me. I had no idea that I was sabotaging my marriage and my relationships every day. I didn't realize it.”

And that changed everything. It transformed their marriage. They're now marriage mentors at their church. It's the thing that to me, really hit me about that. We have seen over and over again in the data, as we've now studied this for years, the effectiveness of doing these really specific things every day for 30 days. What primarily does is it opens our eyes to the ways that we've been caught unkind and didn't realize it.

Dannah: That's certainly happening in my heart this month as we do the Revive Our Hearts challenge. You took Nancy's Husband Encouragement Challenge, you turned it into a 30-day kindness challenge for all relationships. You encourage people to do it with their rebellious teenager, with their coworker that they're struggling with, with their mother-in-law who they just can't get along with. You follow the data to see what happened in those relationships, how dramatic were the results, as you encouraged kindness?

Shaunti: Very dramatic. It is really unusual in social science to see really big impacts for something that's just done for a few weeks, which is what this is. But we found that it didn't matter whether it was marriage, or your colleague is driving you nuts, or your mother-in-law or whatever, 89% of relationships improved. 

You don't see numbers like that—like it seems impossible.

Dannah: It’s mind blowing. 

Shaunti: Yeah, it is. And yet, once I actually thought about it, I realized that actually makes perfect sense. Because what this is doing, it isn't just something that's like changing the temperature of the relationship and making another person feel good. Like, that's a good thing, right? 

Dannah: Yeah. 

Shaunti: But the biggest thing that this is doing is changing you. It makes perfect sense that most relationships would improve if that's happening.

Dannah: Right. Exactly. I was reading the story of David and Abigail the other day. Of course, David is coming to pretty much decimate her husband because he's a very unkind man, Nabal. And what does she do when she approaches David? She knows his armies are coming with destruction. She brings him food. That's kind. She bows before him. Which you know, that was just a sign of respect. And then she says, what a good king you are. She uses kindness, and she disarmed what could have been a terrible battle. Such power, in fact, you call it a superpower. 

Shaunti: Yeah.

Dannah: Why did you choose that word “superpower”?

Shaunti: You know, it's interesting. I don't think we give enough credit to how unbelievably supernatural the impact of kindness is. We see all of these amazing impacts that happen in our heart and the hearts of other people. We just don't recognize that there is something just as supernatural that God does to work through that act of kindness or withholding unkindness, which I want to talk about at some point, because that's really the big deal for a lot of us. We think we're kind; we don't realize we're unkind. And God does something really miraculous. What we found, for example, we say is it makes you bulletproof. Right? Like every surprise superhero, you know, we want somebody who is bulletproof. 

And it's funny when you think about that, when someone is being mean to you, they are, generally, think of it as they're firing bullets at you. And they're hitting; it hurts, like whatever they're doing is driving you nuts. And kindness in this very weird, supernatural way, when you choose to be kind to that person . . . Regardless, like the person who's cutting in line on the highway, when you've been waiting to get off in an exit and somebody scoots in. I don't know about you, but I’m like, I just want to pull up on the bumper of the car in front of you and be like, “No, No, you didn't.” But that's that person firing bullets, and they're hitting. It's making you crazy. 

But when you think about what happens when you back off, think about what happens when you wave them in, and you smile—completely undeserved. I'm going to be kind instead. It's like this weight lifts off your shoulders. That person is still firing the bullets. They're still being just as mean and rude and unkind. But they're hitting you and bouncing off. You've just taken away the power of that person to make you crazy.

Dannah: I love that.

Shaunti: And that is an example of the supernatural, miraculous power that God has given us in this fruit of the Spirit that He asks us to evidence every day.

Dannah: Yeah, as Portia said, you can't do it without the Spirit. It is a fruit of the Spirit. It does have power. There are many places in Scripture that talks about that power. One verse, it's coming to my mind, and I'm terrible with addresses but it says, “Kind words are like honey, sweet to the soul and healing to the bone” (Prov. 16:24). They have a healing power. I've seen that over and over and again in relationships. But you just mentioned it is difficult. Why is it so difficult?

Shaunti: Well, the main reason is that we are not as kind as we think we are. We all value this, and we're a little bit deluded about the fact that we're actually unkind in many ways and don't recognize it. When we were going through the research, we identified seven different patterns of unkindness and negativity. 

I know we're almost out of time. Let's give you one really quick example from my life. I tend to not realize that I get exasperated with my kids a lot or irritated. Like when someone makes mistakes . . . I love the butterfly bush story. When someone makes mistakes, I'm exasperated. I roll my eyes; I get huffy and frustrated. If I'm doing that with my son, for example, “Why didn't you turn in the homework?” I don't realize that what I'm saying is, “You're an idiot.” Like, would I ever say those words with my sweet sensitive son? Of course not. And yet, with my manner of exasperation, that's what I'm saying. That is an example of the type of thing that is actively unkind in my life that I have to fight. And that's why we thought the 30-day kindness challenge was so important, because it kind of helps us catch those things, points them out to us.

Dannah: Yes. Well, that gets to the heart of it. I don't want to say things like you're an idiot to my husband or to my children or anybody else. But you are correct. As I've been doing the Kindness Challenge, I've been discovering just how unkind I can be. My words are often harsh, or if my words aren't harsh, my tone is. 

That's what we're trying to break this month with the Kindness Challenge, and I don't think there's a better tool to help us than your book, The Kindness Challenge. Thanks for being with us today. Shaunti. I want to encourage people if they're halfway through this Kindness Challenge with us and they're really struggling, not only does your book identify those seven factors that might be the problems we need to address in our hearts and in our prayer life, maybe with some repentance. The book has been really helpful for me because it gives specific practical ways that you can practice kindness with your spouse, with your kids, things like that. Shaunti, thank you so much for your research and for leaving Wall Street so that you could come and change what's happening in the streets of our neighborhoods. 

Shaunti: Thanks so much. 

Dannah: The Kindness Challenge by Shaunti Feldhahn is still available at Revive Our Hearts for donation of any amount this month, we're going to drop a link right now. 

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth on Kindness

Now, have you ever thought of kindness as a wimpy virtue? Here with a reminder that kindness is actually radical, it impacts our ability to effectively share Jesus with others in power. Here's Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth teaching from Titus 2 at our most recent Revive Conference. Let's watch.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: So, we've seen the importance of laying a solid foundation of sound doctrine. I want to remind us that it's not enough to have sound doctrine and firm convictions about truth. We also need to be clothed in kindness as we live out that truth and share it with others. 

Right doctrine without kindness is hard-edged. It's off-putting. And many times, I think people are repelled from Christ, they're not interested in our message, not because the truth isn't penetrating their heart, but because they can't get to it through our crusty lack of kindness. 

Now, we may think of kindness as a weak, wimpy quality. I mean, kind people get run over, right? I've been reading a fascinating book called Love Kindness, by Barry Corey. He says. 

Kindness is radical. It is brave and daring, fearless and courageous. And at times, kindness is dangerous. It has more power to change people than we can imagine. It can break down seemingly impenetrable walls. It can reconcile relationships long thought irreparable. Kindness has the muscle to move mountains, no weak quality, this.

Now, we often think of kindness as an attitude, spirit, a manner, and it is all of that. But in the scriptural use of the word, it also involves actions and behavior. The word kindness here in Titus 2 is most often in Scripture, depending on your translation, it's translated, “good.” The word means benevolent, profitable, useful. It means to be good in character and beneficial in effect. 

Kindness, as we read about it in Titus 2, is not just feeling kind or thinking kind thoughts. It's not just being soft and quiet and tender. It may involve all of those things. But true kindness is active goodness.

Dannah: Oh, that's a sentence I'm gonna have to keep in my heart all day. “True kindness is active goodness.”

The Good Stuff for Kindness

Erin: Not passive. Hey, we always want to send you home with the good stuff. And that means we want to give you some tools to help you stay grounded throughout the week. We've got a couple of things to remind you of this morning. We've already told you about them. But every weekday morning, Monday through Friday, at 10 a.m. ET, we'll have what we're calling our Kindness Challenge Check-ins. Portia or I host those so you get some more of us. I’m not sure if that's a pro or con, but anyway, it is what it is. And then we have great Bible teachers popping in this week. We've got a really good lineup. So every weekday morning, 10 a.m. ET.

Dannah: Yeah.

Erin: We also wanted to tell you about a couple books. What were you going to say Dannah?

Dannah: I was gonna say, if you're having trouble with that kind of challenge as I have from time to time, having some books to just kind of meditate on and doing the check-ins really helps. And this month, we have a book by Nancy, a booklet called A Deeper Kind of Kindness, or Shaunti’s book that we've been referencing today. Those are both available for donation of any amount. On the very same page, you just make a donation and then you pick which book you want. And then every day, you can just kind of marinate your mind and your heart in practical scriptures in ideas and tips about how we can use that kindness to practice what Nancy said, active goodness. 

Erin: Yeah, I agree that there's some challenges to acts of kindness because I'm a sinner. I struggle with kindness like everybody else. But I am having so much fun with this Kindness Challenge. I want to issue like the 2021, 2022, 2023 Kindness Challenge. I want to keep it going. So these tools are going to keep you in that and give you lots of reasons to want to keep being kind. 

Dannah: Yeah,we need practice lots of practice.

Erin: We do. 

Dannah: In fact, this Saturday night, we're practicing with the true girls. We're having an online event just for girls ages 8 to 12 because, Erin, God is so good with our partnership with Revive Our Hearts and True Girl. We're always like picking the same theme, not knowing it. So, it's kindness month over at True Girl. We're going to be practicing it Saturday night because it does take practice, like playing an instrument well, we need to learn how to play our tongues. As we've been practicing today, and as a result, I'm not thinking about smashed butterfly bushes anymore. 

Erin: Oh, good. 

Dannah: Yeah, I am thinking about dripping faucets. 

Erin: What? Okay, butterfly bush's dripping faucets all in one riveting episode of Grounded.

Dannah: Well, yeah, I know, word pictures for life. The dripping faucet is the picture that this episode is giving me. One kind word, a timely prayer, a kind, handwritten note, drip, drip, drip. I just want to commit to be kind because Christ is and that inspires kindness. Others do know when we do another drip, drip, drip, you see?

Erin: I see it. And as I'm endeavor to drip with kindness in my home, in my community, in my church. And Portia, you're endeavoring to drip with kindness in your home and your community and your church. Dannah the same, and women who are watching this episode. Okay, we're going to embrace kindness. We're going to show that hesed because God has been kind to us. And that happens today. And tomorrow. I'm getting on board with this word picture, drip, drip, drip. I love it.

Dannah: There you go. It won't take long for that drippy faucet to turn into a flood. And I really think that we can change the emotional climate of culture. Talk about hope and perspective.

Portia: Absolutely. Be kind. Be kind. And hurry back next week. Don't forget the Kindness Challenge check in. It starts actually in just few minutes at 10 a.m. ET. Joy McClain, who I love her and she leads the Grounded Prayer Team, will be sharing about the power of kindness when a family member is chronically unkind. I know that's probably something you don't want to miss. And we can't wait to start another week with you. So, let's wake up with hope, on Grounded next week.

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About the Hosts

Erin Davis

Erin Davis

Erin Davis is an author, blogger, and speaker who loves to see women of all ages run to the deep well of God’s Word. She is the author of many books and Bible studies including: 7 Feasts, Connected, Beautiful Encounters, and the My Name Is Erin series. She serves on the ministry team of Revive Our Hearts. When she’s not writing, you can find Erin chasing chickens and children on her small farm in the Midwest.

Dannah Gresh

Dannah Gresh

When Dannah Gresh was eight years old, she began praying that God would use her as a Bible teacher for “the nations.” When she sees the flags of many countries waving at a Revive Our Hearts event, it feels like an answer to her prayer.

Dannah is the founder of True Girl which provides tools for moms and grandmothers to disciple their 7–12 year-old girls. On Monday nights, you’ll find Dannah hosting them in her online Bible study. She has authored over twenty-eight books, including Ruth: Becoming a Girl of Loyalty, Lies Girls Believe, and a Bible study for adult women based on the book of Habakkuk. She and her husband, Bob, live on a hobby farm in central Pennsylvania.

Portia Collins

Portia Collins

Portia Collins is a Christian Bible teacher and writer/blogger who enjoys studying and teaching Scripture.  Portia is the founder of "She Shall Be Called" (SSBC), a women’s ministry centered on helping women understand and embrace true biblical womanhood through solid study of God's Word. To learn more about SSBC, visit  Portia and her husband, Mikhail, have a daughter and currently live in the Mississippi Delta. 

About the Guest

Shaunti Feldhahn

Shaunti Feldhahn

Shaunti received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher and best-selling author. Today, she applies her analytical skills to investigating eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Her groundbreaking research-based books, such as For Women Only, have sold more than two million copies in twenty-two languages and are widely read in homes, counseling centers, and corporations worldwide.

Read more from Shaunti at