In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not slaves to excessive drinking. They are to teach what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children,to be self-controlled, pure, workers at home, kind, and in submission to their husbands, so that God’s word will not be slandered.
—Titus 2:3–5
In yesterday’s post we talked about how to get started in a mentoring relationship. Now let’s get practical. What should your time together include?
Maybe your idea of a Titus 2 relationship is sitting down together in someone’s home or at a coffee shop and doing a formal Bible study together. That certainly can be part of it. But as you seek to build a new friendship with a woman, let your creativity soar! You can also ask other friends (and the Lord) for ideas.
Building the Relationship
Here are just a few ideas—some conventional, some not—to get you started:
- Invite her over for a meal, dessert, or coffee.
- Go together for a fun day somewhere like the beach.
- Do a book study or Bible study together.
- Choose a word that God puts on your hearts for that year and talk about how He is using it in your lives.
- Go kayaking down a river.
- If one or both of you have children, take them to a playground so they can play as you talk.
- Go to a conference together.
- Teach each other a skill or hobby.
- Pray earnestly for her and with her.
- Do a challenge together (Revive Our Hearts has some great ones here!), and hold each other accountable.
- Serve together, like at a local homeless shelter, crisis pregnancy center, or in a ministry at your church.
- Cook a favorite recipe together.
- Invite her into the “mundane”—go grocery shopping together, have her ride along with you as you take your kids somewhere, etc.
- Look through your families’ pictures together.
Mentoring can happen anytime, anywhere, because true mentoring is just coming alongside someone, being a good listener and a trustworthy friend, and sharing the experiences you’ve been through—whether you do it in a living room, a kayak, or on the beach!
What to Talk About
When you are meeting with someone in a purposeful Titus 2 friendship, you’ll want to focus on pointing them to Jesus and the Bible. But what specifically should you talk about?
Much of that depends upon the woman you’re meeting with. What are her interests? What are her needs? What skills and knowledge do you have based on your life experiences that you can pass on?
A beginning place is to take turns sharing your life stories and how you’ve seen God prove His faithfulness, goodness, and love. Life stories are a powerful way to connect biblical truth to our current situations.
After sharing your spiritual journeys, you could move on to studying basic doctrine or exploring how to study the Word. You could explore topics like discerning God’s will, spiritual gifts, or forgiveness. You could do a deep dive into the character and nature of God, His love for us, His grace, or how He gives us freedom from shame. You could also explore how the gospel applies to everyday life.
Besides doing a study about God and the Bible, you can spend time discussing practical, day-to-day life skills. You might talk about topics like these:
- Cooking
- Grocery shopping
- Organization
- Finances and budgeting
- Marriage
- Parenting
- Balancing home and outside ministry or employment
Or perhaps you’ll decide to memorize Scripture together, discuss your favorite Christian books or biographies, or talk about current events, movies, etc., and what Scripture has to say about the themes they bring to mind.
At your initial meeting, talk through different topics you’d like to cover. Find out what types of things excite her and what needs she has in her life right now. Maybe you and she could each write down three things you’d like to discuss, compare lists, and then pray about what to cover before making a decision.
However the Holy Spirit directs the relationship, you may not be able to answer every question she asks. Dig deep into Scripture together. It may also be encouraging to share a podcast or book that’s been helpful to you, then discuss it together.
An Unexpected Blessing
When women start living life together, growth isn’t limited to one side. As a mentor, you can expect to grow and benefit from a “younger” woman’s fresh perspective just as she does from yours. When both women support each other in living out God’s transforming love, the blessings are extended to whole families and churches.
Mentoring moments can happen naturally in the context of real life. Seize every chance—even if it is a one-time encounter—to love and serve the women around you. See their needs and be willing to reach out.
When women of different generations (physical or spiritual) are giving and receiving from each other and passing the treasure on to others down the line, the entire Body of Christ grows more beautiful. That’s because it’s God’s wise plan.
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