Can I Trust My Desires?

“I just want a good job.”
“I just want to find a good church.” 
“I just want a husband.”
“I just want a baby.”
“I just want to lose a few more pounds.”
“I just want a little time to myself.” 
“I just want a little bit bigger house.”

As His image bearers, God created us with cravings and desires. Rather than being based solely on instinct or biology, our desires come from our hearts and can actually be quite educational. When understood rightly, they can teach us a lot about who we are and what we’re worshiping. However, they also tend to bring with them many questions: Can I trust my desires? Are they reliable? Are they good? Sinful? Idolatrous? How can I tell? 

The world would certainly claim that our desires are good and should be followed, indulged, and trusted at all costs. After all, according to secular philosophy, “happiness is our ultimate goal” and “feelings are our ultimate guide.”¹ However, what does Scripture say? Can I trust my desires? The answer to that question can be found by asking three others.

Question #1: Where Are Your Eyes? 

According to God’s Word, our desires are often tied to our eyes. For proof, look no further than Genesis 3. As Satan tempted Eve, he promised that eating the forbidden fruit would make her like God and that she would have discernment between good and evil (v. 5). The next verse keys us in on the importance of her eyes: 

The woman saw that the tree was good for food and delightful to look at. . . . So she took some of its fruit and ate it. (Genesis 3:6)

Eve’s eyes were directly tied to her temptation. Perhaps for this reason, John warns his readers about the “lust of the eyes” being from the world and not from God (1 John 2:16). 

Consider also Peter’s participation in one of Jesus’ miracles. Upon seeing Jesus walking on the water, Peter wanted to try it as well, so he got out of the boat and stood upon the waves as though they were a patch of sidewalk. However, the wind continued to swirl around him, and according to Matthew, “when he saw the strength of the wind” he grew fearful and began his descent into the tumultuous waters (14:29). His eyes were in the wrong place. 

So the first question we must ask ourselves in evaluating the legitimacy of our desires is, “Where are your eyes?” Are you living by the “lust of the eyes” and the “pride of life”? Have you dropped your eyes from the Savior to the waves? From the bountiful goodness of God’s gifts to the one piece of fruit He has forbidden? 

The author of Hebrews exhorts us to keep our eyes on Jesus (12:2). When He is our primary focus, the secondary desires of our lives will fall into place. The psalmist lifts his eyes to heaven to find his help (Psalm 121:1). He doesn’t look to worldly substances, relationships, or technology for protection. No, he lifts his eyes upward to the Protector of Israel. There he finds stability and security. 

But that’s just the first question. Are you ready for number two? 

Question #2: Where Is Your Delight? 

Have you noticed how your delight and your desires are connected? I delight in reading, so I desire books. I delight in ice cream, so I desire a bowl. I delight in comfort, so I desire a cozy house, quiet time, sweatpants, and television. 

Of course, those are (mostly) innocuous examples, but the same is true when it comes to sin. For instance, if I delight in both autonomy and sexual pleasure, then I will desire that pleasure under whatever circumstances I choose. If I delight in adulation, I will desire applause from people at all costs and thus do anything to get it. 

James explains this dynamic: 

But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desire. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death. (James 1:14–15)

Understanding that the heart works in this way helps to make sense of a verse that’s easily twisted to mean something wonky. 

Take delight in the LORD, 
and he will give you your heart’s desires. (Psalm 37:4)

At first blush, this verse can sound like a genie popping out of a lamp, promising to give us whatever we want. “Want to win the jackpot? Want to avoid ever getting another wrinkle or gray hair? Want to have a house that will make the neighbors green with envy? All this and more can be yours. All you have to do is delight in the Lord! It’s easy, I promise!” 

Or not. 

We must remember the tie between delight and desire. So if you’re wondering whether you can trust your desire, trace your delight. Where are you seeking joy, satisfaction, and pleasure? Are you delighting yourself in the character, promises, people, and praise of God? Or have you been lured away by your own desires? 

Paul reminds us that in Adam, our desires were corrupt and devilish (Eph. 2:3; 4:22), but we’re no longer in Adam. Our hearts—and our desires—have been redeemed! We don’t have to indulge those fleshly lusts any longer. Now we can “be renewed in the spirit of [our] minds” and in the desires of our hearts (Eph. 4:23). 

But we’re still not quite done. It’s time to ask our final question. 

Question #3: Where Is Your Trust? 

Maybe this question seems a little odd since our initial question was regarding whether we can trust our desires. But stay with me. We must be very careful to place our trust in worthy places. The simple answer to the question about trusting our desires is “probably not.” 

Contrary to the opinion of pretty much every Disney princess ever, you cannot trust and must not follow your heart. It is more deceitful than you could possibly imagine (Jer. 17:9). Trusting in your desires just because they’re your desires is like moving into a house built upon a foundation of sand: it will inevitably end in disaster (Matt. 7:24–27). 

However, when you entrust your path to the faithful Creator in doing what is right (Prov. 3:5; 1 Pet. 4:19), your house will have a solid foundation and withstand the wind and rain. Though I didn’t do it perfectly, I learned what this looked like when I stayed single much longer than I would have chosen. Like many single women, I often prayed for a husband. Eventually, though, God changed my prayer. 

Rather than merely setting my affection and hope on the object of my desire itself (trusting that I knew best what I needed), I learned to surrender my desire to God and ask that He make me content no matter what His answer would be. Ultimately, He taught me to trust Him, His timing, and His plan. While the desire never went away (and He eventually granted it), it wasn’t the desire I was trusting but God Himself (well, most of the time). 

So can you trust your desires? That’s probably the wrong question to be asking. Instead, ask yourself, “Where are my eyes? Where is my delight? Where is my trust?” Set your eyes, affection, and faith on Christ alone. He will not disappoint. 

¹ I am indebted to Natasha Crain for these terms. You read her full explanation of them in her excellent book Faithfully Different.