"Not even a hint . . ."
"It's okay to live together. How else will you know if you're sexually and practically compatible."
"Homosexual sex isn't really a sin. When the Bible condemned homosexuality, it was in the context of homosexual prostitution."
"A transgender individual might really love Christ and want to reflect the image of God, but what if he wants to do it as a she? Aren't they still honoring gender?"
All of these statements—spoken to me by believers in the past few weeks—are in drastic contrast to God's plan that sexual intimacy be experienced within the boundaries of marriage between one man and one woman. I've had to correct these misguided thoughts with loving dialogue and practical theology in the last few weeks.
With the conversation spinning so far away from truth, no wonder married Christian women are reading erotica to "spice up their love life." Or the Christian unmarried couple is pushing the envelop with that not-so-innocent goodnight kiss. Or the single woman who loves Christ is asking how she can express herself sexually. Many are watching TV programs wrought with sexual humor. Many times I have justified sin like this because it's "not as bad" as other stuff out there. Nancy Leigh DeMoss and Mary Kassian point to a Scripture that we all need when that kind of thinking creeps in to our minds.
Not Even a Hint!
- Do we hint at sexual sin when we pull out the low-cut blouse knowing it will turn heads?
- Do we hint at sexual sin when we laugh yet again at a sexual innuendo on a popular sitcom?
- Do we hint at sexual sin when we glance through mildly sensual photos online?
How are you possibly hinting at sexual sin?
Even a pre-marital kiss—while not a sin per se—can move in the wrong direction if we are not carefully guarding our minds. It's simple science.
- Saliva contains testosterone, which increases sexual arousal.
- Researchers believe that a man can subconsciously measure estrogen levels, increasing his sexual desire.
- The body's Autonomic Nervous System, the system that controls sexual response, is heightened by a kiss. This system is not controlled by your mental faculties, but by your physical experiences. Desire can begin to control you whether or not you would chose for it to.
Our sexual desires are strong. You can get carried away in the current of it before you know it. Considering all that's at stake, stick to a "brotherly kiss" that the apostle Paul would be proud of.
Is there a better way to respond to sexuality and the topic of it? Yes, and it's mentioned in the verses Nancy and Mary reference in the video above. Take a peek at the verse again here.
But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a person is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God (Eph. 5:3–5, italics added for emphasis).
Our conversation about sexuality should not be hinted with sexual humor and innuendo. Instead, we should be so overwhelmed with the truth of this beautiful gift of sexuality that our conversation is fueled by gratitude.
Take a moment today and ask the Lord to reveal to you how you have hinted at sexual sin, if any. Then, ask him to reveal to you how he would have your heart be speaking the language of gratitude for sexuality with all its tender boundaries and protective guidelines.