A Family for the Solitary: Single Women in the Body of Christ

A few years into our marriage, my husband and I unexpectedly had the opportunity to rent a beautiful home. We were expecting our second child and knew our stay in our tiny townhome was coming to a close, but we never dreamed such a wonderful home would become available so soon. 

Yet even with the incredible rate we were offered, we knew we couldn’t afford it on our own. We had heard that several single ladies from a nearby Bible school were looking for a place to rent in the area, so we reached out to them to see if they might be interested in living in the lower level of the house. The Lord provided in ways we never could have orchestrated, and before we knew it, we were packing our belongings and preparing to move into a lovely home along with three other ladies. 

I remember walking around our new home shortly before they moved in, feeling grateful but nervous. As a new mom, I already felt like my flaws and foibles were on full display to the general public, and I wondered how much more vulnerable I would feel sharing a home with women I hardly knew. But as I walked through the house praying, I sensed the Lord had something in store for this new season—something I couldn’t yet anticipate. 

I never could have imagined just how wonderful it would be. What began as a practical step of faith became one of the greatest blessings of my life. 

God Sets the Solitary in Families

In the past eight years, we’ve had the joy of sharing our home with seventeen different ladies as they’ve come and gone through marriage or other changes in direction. Many of these women have become some of my dearest friends as we’ve walked through life together—sharing both the mountains and the valleys.

One woman (who holds the record for the longest stay of five and a half years) once told me that when she thought about how the Lord had brought her into our home, the beginning of Psalm 68:6 came to mind: “God sets the solitary in families” (NKJV).

This verse isn’t always thought of so literally, but it certainly rings true in our situation. Many of these women have lived far from family or come from difficult home situations, so they’ve needed support in unique ways. But as we’ve been able to provide a family structure for them, they’ve also become a source of encouragement and practical help for me as a young mother—popping in for conversations on lonely days, playing with my kids, or even stepping in during emergencies, just to name a few. 

Through my time with these precious ladies, God has given me an increasing burden for married women to come alongside our single sisters in Christ—to love them and invite them into our lives in whatever way He leads. In many ways, this is simply an opportunity to live out the many “one another” commands we find throughout Scripture. 

It probably won’t look like sharing your home with seventeen women over the years as it has for us. But it can begin with a simple prayer: “Lord, how would You have me love the single ladies in my life today?” 

I recently asked several of the ladies who have lived with us what gestures of love from married women meant the most to them during their single years. Here are a few of the things they shared. 

Welcome Them into Daily Life

Many of the single women living with us have been preparing for marriage or considering what God may have for them in the future, and they’ve expressed that being invited into the ordinary parts of family life has been a blessing. We’ve chatted together over baskets of laundry, laughed during dinner prep, and cried in the middle of a topsy-turvy living room. 

I’m naturally someone who struggles with allowing others to see the ways I fall short in my housekeeping skills (and feel tempted to offer a million explanations for why our kid-filled home isn’t always in order). Yet these ladies have often expressed how honored they feel to be welcomed into our home just as it is. God has used this experience to free me from seeking outward perfection and to teach me to love others through the everyday opportunities He provides. 

That’s not to say there aren’t times to tidy up, light a candle, and pull out the fancy napkins before a get-together—both have a place. But it’s good for single women to see a holistic view of marriage and motherhood and to be invited into the beautiful as well as the messy. 

If a single woman expresses a desire for time with you, consider welcoming her into your home rather than just meeting her for coffee. If you’re a young mom like me, consider inviting her over during nap time. Ask the Lord to show you how to welcome her in a way that will truly be life-giving for both of you. 

We need to remember that the “one anothers” in Scripture often happen in the ordinary rhythms of daily life, not just at church on Sunday morning. Let’s consider how we can encourage and build up (1 Thess. 5:11), love (Rom. 12:10), confess sin (James 5:16), and speak truth (Eph. 4:25) to our single sisters whom God has placed in our churches and communities. 

Include Them in Celebrations

I’ve had many conversations with my single friends about the challenge of holidays or other celebrations when they aren’t traveling to be with family. It may feel awkward for them to ask to spend celebratory days with others, yet most don’t want to be alone. This is where we can be intentional about noticing those who may need an invitation. 

We’ve sought to welcome ladies into celebrations both big and small—from Christmas and Thanksgiving to birthdays, other special occasions, and even game nights. Often when we’re hosting a gathering, they’ll ask if they can invite a friend who doesn’t have a place to go. For the last several Valentine’s Days, my children and I have baked heart-shaped cookies and delivered them (along with a little flower) to the ladies in our home. 

This will look different for every family. You may not be able to invite others into your home for a celebration, but you can ask the Lord how He would have you love the single women around you. Maybe that means connecting them with someone who is opening their home for a holiday or simply sending a card or text to let them know you’re thinking about them. Whatever it looks like, you can trust God to guide you as you seek to extend His love. 

Value Their Input

One of the greatest treasures of having ladies live with us has been discovering the mutual encouragement that flows from these relationships. As married women, we can sometimes subconsciously assume we will be the ones doing all the pouring out. But there are so many wise, godly, mature single women whose gifts and perspectives strengthen the Body of Christ. I have certainly experienced this through the women who’ve lived with us. 

Some have come with significant experience with children, and I’ve asked for their wisdom on helpful resources, learning styles, or training ideas. We’ve talked late into the night about spiritual topics I’m wrestling with, and I’ve been encouraged by the wisdom God has given them through His Word. I’ve learned about decorating and organization, recipes, and countless other things that have enriched my life and home. 

In 1 Corinthians 12:12–31, we see a beautiful picture of how the Body of Christ is meant to function: each member is equally valuable, with unique God-given gifts to contribute. This includes those who are unmarried. Rather than overlooking or unintentionally isolating single women, we should actively encourage them and seek out the ways God has gifted them to bless His Church. 

Remember Our Eternal Family

Jesus said to His disciples in John 13:35, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

This remains true today. The way Christian women love one another—including women in different seasons and circumstances of life—should point others to the reality that we belong to Jesus. When single and married women love one another for the glory of God, spurring each other on in the unique callings He has given, we display a unity that cannot be manufactured apart from Christ. Our circumstances may look different, but the only common ground we need is Jesus. What a privilege to be part of His eternal family—to reflect here and now the unity we will one day enjoy forever.