My generation has watched the porn epidemic spread through our churches for years. We've heard statistics that say seven out of ten men in the church are struggling with sexual addiction. We've seen the fallout in marriages we thought would last forever—and there’s no denying that it’s shaken our faith.
What does the porn problem mean for those of us who are single, dating, or newly engaged? For many in my friend group, it means looking toward the future with a certain degree of fear. We’re still young enough to be hopeful about relationships, but realistic enough to feel anxiety about how they could end.
We want to know the answers to questions like: “How do you safeguard your relationship, even in its earliest stages?” “What do you do if the worst happens and sexual sin shatters your marriage?” But those aren’t topics to discuss with just anyone. You need an older woman you can trust—someone who has been through difficult situations herself, who has experienced God's power to redeem what seems beyond repair, and who knows how to anchor unsteady emotions in the security of Christ.
Someone like Tippy Duncan.
Tippy’s Teaching Me
In “Tippy’s Teaching Me,” the latest season of The Deep Well podcast, Erin Davis, Dannah Gresh, and their mentor Tippy Duncan gathered in Erin’s hometown and recorded an intimate set of conversations. At the beginning of the second episode, Dannah’s journal was on the table, and she began sharing about some of the early years of her marriage.
Back in those days, when Dannah had counseling sessions with Tippy, they discussed Dannah’s arguments with her husband over socks left on the floor and the disagreements they’d had about how often mashed potatoes should be served for dinner. Looking back, Dannah realized, “Those conversations were [a] training ground for much more potentially devastating conversations that we would face in the future.”
4 Prayers for Marriage
The first time I heard Dannah and Erin’s conversation with Tippy in episode 2, I was in the backseat of a rental car in the middle of Costa Rica. My brothers and I had decided to take one last sibling trip together before one of them gets married later this year. When we downloaded this season of The Deep Well to listen to, I wasn’t thinking of it as a resource that would help a young couple prepare to get married—until my brother turned around and asked me to send him a link to the transcript. He wanted to be able to take notes on the advice Tippy gave Dannah to keep for himself and to share with his fiancée.
“There’s one thing that Tippy taught me to do,” Dannah said, “that I would not be sitting here today a married woman if I hadn’t done.” Tippy taught her to pray for her husband.
In the episode, Dannah shared the four prayers that Tippy taught her to pray, referring to them as prayers that she believes every woman needs for her marriage. I think they are prayers that everyone who hopes to be married in the future should have as well.
Whether you’re single, newly engaged, newly wed, or have been married for decades, you’ll want to watch this entire season with a notebook nearby. The wisdom and advice provided is not just practical; it will increase your hope in Christ and help you face the future with deeper dependence on Jesus.
As Erin Davis said at the close of this episode:
You don’t know how things are going to turn out. You don’t know what God is ultimately going to do . . . But you can trust Him.
No matter what . . . you can turn to Jesus for strength. You can ask Him to help you be patient. You can ask Him to show you His love. He will not fail you.
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