You Were Created for True Intimacy

My wedding day was less than three weeks away. I could hardly wait to finally marry the man I had already pledged my life and love to. My longings for marriage, intimacy, and a lifelong companion would finally be realized. As the wedding day drew closer, my love for Zack grew deeper. I longed for the moment when I would truly be his. I longed to share all of me with all of him. I couldn’t wait to finally become one. Whether you’re single or married, you’ve probably felt that same deep desire for companionship, oneness, and intimacy, that inner longing to be fully known, cherished, and deeply loved by someone else. From the time your sexual desires were awakened, you’ve probably also felt that intense urge for sexual fulfillment and satisfaction. What if I told you . . .

  • Your sexual desires and longings actually have an immense spiritual significance.
  • Your sex drive is actually designed to point you toward a deeper spiritual relationship.

You’d probably look at me like I was a little crazy, right? Well, as crazy as it sounds (and I’ll agree with you on that), it’s actually true. God had an amazing plan and purpose in mind when He created your sexual design. From the first humans (Adam and Eve) until now, sexuality wasn’t a random act of creation. It was an intentional and integral part of God’s greater mission. Everything about your sexual design —from your sex drive, inner longings, and desire for intimacy to your inclination toward marriage—was given to you by God to ultimately point you back to Him. God designed sexuality to be an earthly metaphor of a much greater spiritual reality.

Sexual Since the Beginning

When God created the first male and female in Genesis 1–2, He created them as sexual beings and placed them in a relationship with each other. He then went on to sanctify this relationship by uniting them together as husband and wife, binding them together for life in a covenant marriage. This sacred relationship was no ordinary relationship but one designed to be permanently binding for life. A covenant is stronger than a simple contract or agreement. “Covenant” is a powerful word that essentially means “a promise that cannot be broken.” Marriage is an earthly picture of God’s permanent and unwavering love. After the covenant was established, God then (and only then) blessed this first marriage by placing the intimate act of sex within this sacred relationship (Gen. 2:24–25). Within this covenant marriage, the husband and wife were given the most physically intimate act to enjoy as a celebration of their lifelong union. Marriage and sex were ultimately designed by God as physical representations of His incredible love and commitment toward His children. If you zoom forward in Scripture, you will begin to see this beautiful picture unfold. God is not like any other god, but He is One who loves His people fiercely and permanently. He is a God who makes covenant promises toward His own people. From Noah to Abraham to Moses to David, God made covenant promises to each of these men and their descendants. He promised to love them no matter what happened. However, these Old Testament covenant relationships were only arrows pointing to the ultimate covenant promise that would come through Jesus Christ in the New Testament. God sent His Son to die on our behalf, and He offers us a covenant relationship with Him if we accept Jesus as our personal Savior. He loves us so much that He is willing to enter a permanent, eternal relationship with us that can never be broken.

Our Intimate God

God created marriage to be an earthly picture of the covenant love that He has for His children. But it doesn’t stop there. It gets even more amazing! Sexual intimacy was created within the covenant to teach us about the intimate and personal relationship that God wants to have with each of His children. He is not a detached ruler whose primary desire is power and allegiance. He is an intimate God who knows every hair on our head and loves us deeply. As I say in my book Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart: God uses a very specific Hebrew word throughout the Bible to help us understand his intimate love for us. The word is yada. In Hebrew the word yada literally means, “to know deeply or intimately.” “The word yada appears in the Old Testament more than 940 times. . . . The word yada is most often used to describe intimacy with God—His with us, and ours with Him.” God intentionally uses the word yada to help us see that He desires a deep knowing with us. He doesn’t want a casual or surface level relationship. That is not why He created us. He wants to yada us and for us to yada Him back. He created us for this purpose. To know and have a deep and satisfying relationship with Him. Here’s the mind-blowing thing: the same Hebrew word, yada, that is used to describe God’s deep love for His people is also the same Hebrew word that is used to describe the act of physical sex between a husband and wife. Check this out:

Now Adam knew [yada] Eve his wife, and she conceived and bore Cain, saying, “I have gotten a man with the help of the LORD” (Gen. 4:1). Cain knew [yada] his wife, and she conceived and bore Enoch (Gen. 4:17).

Sex is the most intimate act any two humans can share. That’s why God intentionally chose to describe sex in marriage as yada, to be deeply known. This same Hebrew word is then intentionally used by God to describe the level of intimacy that He desires to have with His children. Sex is an earthly metaphor of God’s intimate love. Check this out:

Know [yada] that the LORD, he is God! It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture (Ps. 100:3). You have searched me and known [yada] me! . . . For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows [yada] it very well (Ps. 139:1, 13–14).

Just as a husband and wife were created to love and know one another on the deepest level possible, God loves us with that same powerful love. He wants to know us. He wants us to know Him. He designed us to be fully known and loved by Him. He created us to find ultimate satisfaction in a covenant relationship Himself. As incredible as marriage and sex are, these physical metaphors are not the main thing. They were created by God to give us an earthly picture of what His powerful and intimate love looks like for us. Marriage and sex were never meant to ultimately satisfy us. They were designed to point us upward to the only One who can fully satisfy our souls. Rather than getting stuck on these earthly metaphors, we need to look past these physical gifts and allow them to point us to the God who created them. Girl, you were made for true intimacy. Whether you’re single or married, your sexual desires were never meant to be the true source of fulfillment in your life. Your sexual desires were designed to drive you toward the only relationship that truly satisfies your soul. You were created by an incredible God who loves you and wants to be in an intimate, covenant relationship with you. He wants to know (yada) you deeply and love you more fully than any human ever could. His covenant love is what our souls truly need. As you experience sexual longings and desires in your life right now, I pray they will remind you that you were made for something bigger—for Someone greater. May your sexual longings be a regular reminder that you were not made to be alone but to find satisfaction in an intimate relationship with the God who created you. When your soul finds rest in the love of your Savior, only then will you be able to enjoy and cherish the earthly gifts of marriage and sex as God intended. Only then will these amazing physical blessings become a genuine celebration of all God created them to be. I’d love to hear from you below! How does yada change your view of sex and God? If you’re interested in learning more about God’s amazing design for sex and intimacy, you might enjoy reading my book, Sex, Purity, and the Longings of a Girl’s Heart. 

About the Author

Kristen Clark

Kristen Clark is the co-founder of GirlDefined Ministries and co-author of several books, including Girl Defined and Not Part of the Plan. She is passionate about promoting the message of God-defined womanhood through blogging, speaking, mentoring young women, and hosting Bible studies in her living room. Kristen is married to her best friend, Zack, and they have two sons.