Lost Virginity Does Not Define You

If we were looking for someone to impact history in amazing ways, most of us would never choose her. Why would God use her, a prostitute, when there were so many other, better women around? We don’t know all of the details of this woman’s story, but we do know this. Rahab, the prostitute, was the mother of Boaz (Ruth’s husband) and the great-great grandmother of King David, a man after God’s own heart. Rahab was honored to be one of the few women mentioned in the lineage of Jesus. Rahab the prostitute, the woman who’d given her body away as a way of making money, was chosen by God. She was given one of the greatest honors any woman throughout all of history could have ever been given. God chose to use an imperfect woman with a repentant heart to accomplish amazing things. He still does. I wish we would slow down to remember stories like Rahab’s more often. If we’d take the time to look, we’d see that God chooses to use imperfect women for His kingdom purposes.

Hope > Shame

If you struggle with guilt, shame, embarrassment, and/or pain over your own lost virginity, I have a word of hope for you. Your worth has nothing to do with your virginity or your lost virginity. Your worth has nothing to do with your reputation. Your worth has nothing to do with anything you’ve ever done or ever will do. You can’t earn your worth, and you can’t lose it either. That’s because your worth is found totally and completely in the love God has given you through His perfect Son, Jesus Christ. It’s a truth our enemy, Satan, wants us to forget. Satan perpetually twists God’s truth (John 8:44). You might hear him whisper: “Your sin is so bad that God could never forgive it.” “Jesus is so ashamed, embarrassed, and disappointed in you.” “God doesn’t really love you.” “Your worth as a woman is tied up in your own perfection and holiness.” We have some words for the enemy. Not today, Satan! His future is sure, and we know the true King who will reign forever and ever. We reject the enemy’s lies, and we will not let him destroy our lives. We have a God that will have the final say. We have a God that sent His perfect Son, Jesus Christ, to pay for our sins once and for all. He has every power, every authority, every right, and every plan for our futures.

Listen Up!

Hear this truth loud and clear.

Don’t spend the rest of your life living in guilt over the sins that Jesus has already paid the price for.

God loved each one of so much that He sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins. He didn’t send Jesus to die for perfect, holy, upright people. No! He sent Him to die for wretched sinners. He sent Jesus to the cross to pay for each and every sin you have committed and will ever commit. Please don’t spend the rest of your life living in guilt over the sins that Jesus has already paid the price for. You don’t have to pay the ultimate price; Jesus did. You can have true and lasting forgiveness for anything you’ve ever done. Listen closely.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

Think back to the life of Rahab (read more about her story here). If she had believed the lie that God only used “good girls” and “perfect people,” she would have missed out on God’s amazing plan for her. The very lineage of our Savior would look different. Instead, she was able to accept the forgiveness of God and live a beautiful, fruitful life among His people. That is what I want for you. I want you to walk in the forgiveness that God is offering you. Don’t live your life trying to pay for your own sin. Accept the work Jesus has already done and move forward in freedom. Yes, there may be consequences, challenges, and scars that we carry because of past sin. But that doesn’t define us, and it doesn’t hinder God from using us in huge and awesome ways.

Let’s Talk

What’s keeping you from walking in freedom? Will you choose to accept the forgiveness that God has offered you? PS: Check out “Lost Virginity: Practical Help to Reclaim Your Future” to help you gain even more wisdom and truth in this area.

About the Author

Bethany Beal

Bethany Beal is the co-founder of GirlDefined Ministries and co-author of several books, including Girl Defined: God’s Radical Design for Beauty, Femininity and Identity. She is passionate about spreading the truth of biblical womanhood through writing, speaking, and mentoring women, and you can catch her unpacking exciting and controversial topics every week on her podcast, The Girl Defined Show. Bethany is married to her best friend and husband, David, and they have one son, Davey Jr.