To the Girl Who’s Had an Abortion

I can't stop thinking about you. I know you're sitting beside me at church, standing behind the checkout counter when I buy groceries, and reading this blog. I also know that you don't want me to know that you've had an abortion.

I wish I could take you out to coffee, to look you in the eyes and share God's truth with you. Maybe someday I will have that chance. Until then, I didn't want another minute to go by without telling you what's on my heart, without pointing you toward what's on God's heart.

I know you'd rather not talk about it, that it feels like life would be easier if I didn't rip off this Band-Aid. Forty percent of young women who've had an abortion report that neither parent knows about their choice. Many don't tell the baby's father either, and so it becomes a burden carried alone. No burden can be carried this way (Gal. 6:2). This burden, especially, is too heavy to be handled alone. So let me carry this load with you. Let's drag it to Jesus and look together toward His truth about your abortion.

"Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matt. 11:29–30).

Your Abortion Is a Sin

While I'd love to gloss over your sin or sugarcoat it to make it easier to digest, I can't. Aborting your baby wasn't just a "mistake." It wasn't an "accident." It wasn't something foolish you did because you were young or scared. It was a sin.

It wasn't a "fetus" that died that day in the clinic. It wasn't a "mass of tissue." It was a baby, created in the image of God. God's Word describes your baby's creation this way:

My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them (Ps. 139:15–16).

Your abortion cut short the life of your child, but also the life of God's child.

I don't say this to rub salt in your wounds, but it's important to recognize your enemy so that you can fight against it. The enemy here isn't your circumstances or the abortion industry. It's your own sinful heart. Like taking allergy pills to cure a headache or chemotherapy to heal a broken leg, it's possible you've been running to all the wrong things to try to heal. When you call your abortion what it is, you can get the right prescription. The disease you're facing is sin. The solution is Jesus Christ.

The disease you're facing is sin. The solution is Jesus Christ.

All sin separates us from God (Isa. 59:2). Perhaps you feel lonely, discouraged, or depressed. That's because Jesus is the light of life (John 8:12). Life spent separated from Him is unbelievably dark. Acknowledging your sin and repenting of it closes the gap between you and God.

Your Abortion Is Not Beyond the Reach of the Cross

Yes, your abortion was sinful. If that's the cloud, hear the brilliant silver lining.

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Rom. 5:8).

As Jesus hung on the cross, He saw you in the abortion clinic. And He did not change His mind. He did not climb down from the cross and exclaim, "I won't pay the price for that one."

Instead, He took on the full punishment for every sin you will ever commit and then said, "It is finished" (John 19:30).

Your Abortion Is Not Something You Can Fix

There's no turning back the clock. You can't make a different decision. And you cannot punish yourself enough to fix what's been broken. Your abortion is not something you can do penance for. Christ already did that. He paid the price for your sin once and for all at the cross.

For Christ also suffered once for sins, the righteous for the unrighteous, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive in the spirit (1 Peter 3:18).

He longs for a relationship with you. Your abortion doesn't change that. Run to Him with your sin, with your pain.

This is not something you can hide from Him either. The God who formed you inside your mother's womb sees every second of your life. Running from Him hurts you. It hurts Him, too. He longs for a relationship with you. Your abortion doesn't change that. Run to Him with your sin, with your pain. Tell Him you're sorry and that you need Him to heal the scars that remain in your heart.

It's Time to Tell Someone

That coffee shop conversation may never happen between you and me, but it needs to happen. You need to tell someone about your abortion. I want to warn you, it may not go well. Ending human life is always shocking. That shock can show up in painful ways like anger, judgment, and sorrow. The worst-case scenario you've been playing in your head may actually happen. Tell someone anyway.

And the prayer of faith will save the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up. And if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working (James 5:15–16).

Only Jesus can forgive sins, but the healing process often starts when we tell. There is power in dragging what has been stored in the dark corners of your heart into the light. Tell your parents. Tell your pastor. Tell the father of your baby. Tell a wise, older woman in your church. Keep telling until you find someone(s) who will run into the pain with you and keep pointing you to the beautiful gospel.

There is power in dragging what has been stored in the dark corners of your heart into the light.

I love hearing from you! However, the comment thread of this blog isn't the best place to confess your abortion. You need to sit across from someone without the barrier of a computer screen. You need someone who can walk with you during the process of healing. If you don't know where to turn, feel free to reach out to our team via email at It would be our great honor to pray for you.

If you've not had an abortion, would you join me in praying for the millions of girls who have? 

Jesus, thank You for the cross. Thank You for forgiving us of all of our sin. Please comfort and forgive those who have sinned against You in this way. I need You. They need You. Amen.

About the Author

Erin Davis

Erin Davis is married to her high school sweetheart, Jason, and together they parent four energetic boys on their small farm in the midwest. She is the author of more than a dozen books and Bible studies, the content manager for Revive Our Hearts, and a host of the Grounded videocast. You can hear her teach on The Deep Well with Erin Davis podcast.