1. Do you gossip? Do you enjoy repeating the latest news or rumor you heard about another person? (See Prov. 11:13; 20:19; 26:20).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
2. Do you slander? Do you say things about others behind their backs that you would not say to their faces? Do your words cast others in a less than positive light? (See Ps. 50:20; 52:4; Prov. 11:9).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
3. Do you nag? Do you repeat your desires and opinions to others until you get what you want? (See Prov. 21:19; 26:21).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
4. Do you meddle? Do you make the interaction between other people your concern? Do you try to referee arguments or act as a go-between? (See Prov. 26:17).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
5. Do you brag? Do you seek to present your skills, your experiences or your accomplishments as greater than they really are? (See Prov. 14:23; 25:27; 27:2)
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
6. Do you lie? Are you ever less than truthful? Are you less than totally honest? Do you misrepresent yourself, others, or events? (See Ps. 120:3; 34:13; Prov. 12:19,22; 26:18-19; Eph. 4:15,25).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
7. Are you quarrelsome? Do you feel a need to be proved right or to have the last word? Do you argue? (See Prov. 17:14; 20:3; 26:21; 27:15; Phil. 2:14).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
8. Do you respond in anger? Are you hot-tempered or defensive? Are you easily provoked? (See Prov. 15:1; 29:11,22; Eph. 4:26-27).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
9. Do you talk too much? Do you babble? Do you spend a lot of time on the phone or social media? Do you monopolize conversations with your opinions? Do you interrupt?
(See Eccl. 10:11; Prov. 15:28; 29:20; Jas. 1:19).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
10. Are you reluctant to admit you are wrong? Do you fail to ask forgiveness? Do you refuse to admit your error when you feel the other person’s error is greater? (See Prov. 29:23; Jas. 5:16).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
11. Do you betray a confidence? Do you repeat matters that you should keep private? If someone has failed or injured you, do you feel compelled to tell someone else about it? (See Prov. 6:19; 17:19; 19:11; 25:9-10)
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
12. Do you criticize? Do you find fault? Do you focus on the bad instead of the good? Do you see people’s shortcomings more than their strengths? (See Ps. 41:5; Rom. 1:30).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
13. Do you complain? Do you bewail the circumstances you find yourself in? Do you let others know that you resent being inconvenienced? (See Phil. 2:14).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
14. Do you make assumptions and assume the worst about other people’s motives and intentions? (See 1 Tim. 6:3-4; Prov. 29:20).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
15. Do you hold grudges? Do you bring up or focus on past wrongs? Do you accuse others? (See Prov. 11:12).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
16. Are you sarcastic? Do you mock others? Do you use negative humor to put others down? (See Prov. 21:24; 9:7; 26:18-19).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
17. Are you malicious? Are your words intended to cut and wound? Are your words harsh? (See Prov. 11:12; 17:4; 15:1; 16:27).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
18. Are you insincere in your compliments? Do you flatter others for your own advantage? (See Prov. 26:28; 29:5).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
19. Is your speech filthy? Do you swear or use foul language? Do you use the latest slang or crass expressions? (See Prov. 4:24; 10:31-32; Col. 3:8).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
20. Do you fail to listen? Do you jump to conclusions before you are sure that you have heard and understood? (See Prov. 18:13; 19:20; Jas. 1:19).
❑ never ❑ seldom ❑ occasionally
❑ often ❑ habitually
Look back over your answers. Can you identify the three main areas in which your speech needs improvement?
© 2014 Mary A. Kassian. The 20 Questions are taken from Conversation Peace: The Power of Transformed Speech . LifeWay Press