Why Not Pursue Him? (Part 2)

Yesterday, I went on record to say that I do not believe in pursuing guys (was that a gasp I heard?). Yes, you might want to sit down for this. Today, I’m giving you the final four reasons I have given God control of my love life. (And if you missed them, you can read the first five reasons from yesterday here). Are you ready??

6. God has nothing but good in store for those who wait on Him.

Remind yourself often of these promises from your God who cannot lie:

“None who wait for you shall be put to shame” (Psalm 25:3).

“For the LORD God is a sun and shield; the LORD bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Psalm 84:11).

“Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!” (Ps. 34:8).

“Oh, how abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you and worked for those who take refuge in you, in the sight of the children of mankind!” (Ps. 31:19).

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jer. 29:11).

7. Marriage won’t secure my happiness.

I am often reminded of this as I spend time with my married friends. Marriage just presents new opportunities to continue to trust and submit to God. In fact, God has made it clear that marriage isn’t about you and me (sorry to burst any romantic bubbles!). We were created as women to help men. And in a greater sense, we’re created for God, whether married or single. If married, it’s to give others a tangible picture of Christ’s amazing love for the church, and the church’s grateful submission to Him.

“I will make him a helper fit for him” (Gen. 2:18).

"’Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:31-33). 

“I want you to be free from anxieties . . . the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord” (1 Corinthians 7:32-35).

“You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions” (James 4:3).

8. I want a "God-story."

Probably my favorite question ever to ask married people is, “How did you get together?” I would be content to just sit and listen to their stories for days, months, even years!

You and I will have a story, too. Really! Whether it includes marriage or not, it will either be a story of regret (“Here’s how I took control in order to secure what I thought I wanted”), or a story of awe, joy, and triumph (“Look at what God did . . . all on His own, without my help!”).

I want a story that showcases HIS power and HIS grace, and not MY looks, smarts, or talents.

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth” (Psalm 46:10). 

“This is what the Sovereign LORD, the Holy One of Israel, says: ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength, but you would have none of it.’ You said, ‘No, we will flee on horses.’ Therefore you will flee! You said, ‘We will ride off on swift horses.’ Therefore your pursuers will be swift!” (Isaiah 30:15-16, emphasis added). 

Your choice . . . who will write your story?

9. I need this time of waiting in order for my faith and trust in God to grow.

Waiting isn’t easy. But, life will never be easy, and I will always find myself waiting for . . . something. I have a feeling this is training ground for even greater ways I’ll need to trust Him in the future.

“The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him. It is good that one should wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth. Let him sit alone in silence when it is laid on him; let him put his mouth in the dust—there may yet be hope; let him give his cheek to the one who strikes, and let him be filled with insults. For the Lord will not cast off forever, but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion according to the abundance of his steadfast love; for he does not willingly afflict or grieve the children of men” (Lamentations 3:25-33, emphasis added).

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths” (Prov. 3:5-6).

Having said all this, I feel like I should say . . . 

1. Trusting God with your love life doesn’t mean everything will work out beautifully, or that you’ll get what you want. This isn’t about some sort of way to manipulate God.
2. The fact that you and I are not pursuing guys does not mean that we can’t be friendly to them!
3. There are no formulas. This is about growing in your relationship with God. Be sensitive to His Spirit’s leading.

Now that that’s clear, I’d love to learn from you. Which promise meant the most to you personally? Also, do you have any reasons or verse to add to my list?

Did you discover God’s Truth today?

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About the Author

Paula Marsteller

Paula Marsteller

Paula has served with Revive Our Hearts for thirteen years. She is the author of Confessions of a Boy-Crazy Girl: On Her Journey from Neediness to Freedom. There's nothing she loves to share more than the gospel-centered truths that have so transformed her own life: what it means on a daily basis to be "dead to sin, alive to God, and in Christ Jesus." Paula, Trevor, and their son, Iren, make their home in New York.

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