Three Mercies for Young Moms

This episode contains portions from the following programs:

"Clinging to the Cross"

"You Mean Discipleship Can Be Fun?"

"Learning Surrender Through Parenting a Special Needs Child"

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Dannah Gresh: There is a sentence that rings through the halls of the Gresh home like a legacy, but hardly one I’m proud of. Thankfully, when my now-adult children recall it, it is with laughter.

It was a Sunday morning. (Why on God’s fine earth are those the mornings your preschooler cannot find her left shoe, the dog has an accident, and your always-dependable son sleeps in!?) Yes, it was one of those days. 

Bob was in the kitchen throwing back a smoothie while he finished shaving and the kids were both upstairs. We had less than ten minutes to get to church on time. And that’s when I said it.

Now, in my defense, I had already called for everyone three times. The kids, afterall, hadn’t eaten. (I had poptarts ready to go!) I heard a lot of movement upstairs including, I think, a ball bouncing on my son's wall.

“That’s it!” I bellowed. “I’m going to count to . . . (This is where my brain realized the futility of counting to ten and so I said:) SIXTY!”

The whole house went quiet. And then . . . the laughter that never stopped began. The kids, though they have aged a few decades, are still giggling about that!

All that to say this: young mom, one day you just may laugh about—dare I say even treasure the memories—of the joyful chaos unfolding in your home.

But for today, I just want to get you through.

Today, we’re sharing three mercies for young moms—sufficient grace, biblical resources, and the testimonies of moms gone before you. 

I’m your host, Dannah Gresh. You’re listening to Revive Our Hearts Weekend.

First up, sufficient grace. Oh, how we need it—for those moments you’re tempted to count to sixty—to remind us how sufficient grace transforms motherhood. We’ve got the lovely Kristen Wetherell. Kristen is a pastor’s wife, a mother of three, a writer, and a speaker. She’s authored several books, including Humble Moms: How the Work of Christ Sustains the Work of Motherhood and What Makes You Beautiful: 20 Daily Devotions for Girls. Ever had a mom day where you just wanted to zone out? Not too long ago, Kristen and I got to sit down and talk about that. Where do we turn in our exhaustion? Here’s Kristen. 

Kristen Wetherell: Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, [you who are weary and] heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” It’s not, “Come to Me if you think you can pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get a happy face on first.” No, it’s, “Come to me in the place that you’re at.” I think that is a beautiful invitation for weary moms!

Dannah: Right, it’s a beautiful invitation for weary moms, weary grandmas, weary dads, weary grandpas, weary single women. It’s such a good invitation for all of us. If you’re feeling weary and tired today, come to Jesus!

Kristen: He has life, and He will give it abundantly! 

Dannah: Okay, you said step one for you is . . .

Kristen: Just acknowledging the place that I’m at before Him, and just praying through that. But then I think it’s asking of Him. So many times in the Gospel of John, Jesus tells His disciples to ask!

You know, “If you ask in accordance with my will, you are going to receive. You’re going to have this life that I’m to give to you” (see John 16:24). I often wonder how often I don’t come to Jesus with my need because I somehow don’t really believe that He can fill it. 

I somehow don’t really trust that He’s good, in some way, or that He is life and that He imparts life to us. I’ve been really convicted about that, actually. How often do I end up scrounging around, searching for life in other things that are not inherently bad . . .

Like getting a nap on my couch is a good gift from God, but if I’m looking to that nap to supply some kind of deep soul satisfaction that only Jesus can, I’m not turning to the right thing in my weariness. So I think I just often don’t actually trust that He’s good and that He’s actually going to fulfill this promise.

Dannah: What are some other things we turn to in our exhaustion as mothers that might be an indicator for us to be like: “Am I receiving that as a good gift, or am I relying on that and believing in that the way I should be believing in Christ?”

Kristen: A huge one for me is control. Naptime is a good example. If preceding naptime activities don’t go the way that I would like them to go and on my timetable, the fruit of that is evidence that I’m probably idolizing control, because it just makes me angry. 

Rather than saying like Jesus did so beautifully before His Father, “I have come to do the Father’s will. My food is to do the will of the One who sent Me” (see John 4:34). That would be so freeing! To just say, “Okay, God, You are sovereign; You know this day even better than I do. You’ve planned it, and so I can trust You in this moment when it’s not going according to my plan.”

But I think that I tend to control things, and I’ve been also very convicted of that. 

Dannah: Yes, so that naps, the control. Do any other things come to mind that we’re prone to turn to as moms, instead of Christ?

Kristen: Yes, means of escape, like entertainment. I think entertainment is probably the biggest one. Maybe for some women it’s food or some other pleasure that we can take enjoyment in. 

And again, these things in themselves are not evil things; they’re good gifts from God. But do I turn to social media, do I turn to email, or the work that I’m doing, or Netflix as a means of trying to forget . . . or not “be mom in this moment” (even though your job never ends)? I think that’s the difference.

Dannah: Okay, so, I’ve acknowledged where I am. I’ve asked Him for help. What’s next? He shows up and everything’s fine? (laughter) Wouldn’t that be wonderful?! “Come, Lord Jesus!” I also pray that prayer often! That would be glorious, to see Him come soon!

Kristen: Yes, so I’m going back to this morning. I’m on my walk, I’m praying. Jesus connects our coming to Him and our love for Him with our obedience.

So He says in John 14:15: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” Then I have to ask myself, “Okay, by the power of the Holy Spirit at work in me, what does it look like to obey my Lord Jesus right now?”

And that’s going to look different in every situation that you’re in. But in that moment for me, it was to care for my children, to enjoy their presence, to be present and not flip out my phone and start looking at my text messages, trying to escape. 

Being present with my children and faithful to what Jesus is calling me to do in that moment with them. I think included in that is the knowledge that God sees. So, He’s not far off, but He sees our obedience. He’s pleased by it.

Dannah: So true! In fact, you know what comes after John 14:15?

Kristen: What are you thinking about?

Dannah: Jesus says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” This is one of my favorite passages in Scripture. “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you and will be in you” (John 14:15–17).

What a gift! What a trade-off for obedience, right?

Kristen: Right! 

Dannah: Okay, so let me play the “devil’s advocate” and imagine that there might be (I’m not saying there is, but there could potentially be) a mom listening who didn’t joyfully obey the Lord in one of those mundane moments of motherhood. Like, what then? What happens then?

Kristen: Right, well that’s also me, just so every mom who’s listening knows. I think it’s all of us, because even our best desires and attempts for obedience are laced with sin. We are not yet in glory and our hearts have not yet been perfected. Not one of us is walking around perfectly obeying Jesus, right? 

I think that we need to acknowledge that as well, but this is me also all the time, because I don’t always joyfully obey the Lord. I instead get upset with the situation, that my kids are not doing what I wanted them to do. I yell at them and sin against them and against God.

And so, for that moment, for that angry blowup, what is the hope that we have? How does Jesus draw near to us and serve us in that moment? And we see that this is precisely why He came. He didn’t come—as He said—to heal the healthy, but to heal the sick. He came for sinners (see Mark 2:17).

And what He means by that, He came for those who acknowledge their need of Him. And so, in that moment, I think that I can cling to the cross and to the victorious resurrection of Christ in which He not only forgives all of my sin, but covers me with His perfect obedience. 

So in that moment when I did not obey, where my obedience was laced with selfishness or you-name-it, Christ’s record is still mine. He gives me that beautiful gift! And so, I am free to continue pursuing joyful obedience! It’s just a beautiful gift that He gives to us.

Dannah: Praise God for this good news! Even on the hardest days of motherhood, the ones where you really fall short, Kristen Wetherell says God’s grace is sufficient for you. 

Okay, on to today’s second mercy for young moms, and that is biblical resources! The books and creative tools that help us shepherd our little ones toward Jesus. 

My dear friend Erin Davis sat down with Laura Wifler and Hunter Beless to talk about catechizing their kids, and these young moms shared some awesome resource suggestions along the way. 

Now, for those of you who don’t know these friends, Laura Wifler is an award-winning author, podcaster, and poet. She’s written several children’s books, including Your Worth Never Wavers and Any Time, Any Place, Any Prayer. Hunter Beless is also a podcaster and author, and she’s the founder of Journeywomen ministries. She’s written several children’s books as well, including Read It, See It, Say It, Sing It, and Amy Carmichael: The Brown-Eyed Girl Who Learned to Pray. 

Let’s join them as they share with Erin.

Erin Davis: Something I noticed about young moms and moms with young kids. Now I have a toddler, but I'm the old mom at the park. I'm not a young mom. But anyway, there's this renewed interest in catechizing our kids, which is not a new idea. In fact, it's a very old idea. But I wanted to talk about it in this episode. Either of you can take this ball. What does it mean to categorize our children or ourselves or women's discipleship group? I'd love to hear the ways that you guys have done this. Laura, you want to pick it up first?

Laura Wifler: Catechizing is simply teaching your children the truth of God. I mean, it's usually a call and response, or a question and an answer, where we ask the question of who made you? You know, why did God make you? A different simple question that really just teaches your children truth. 

Just a quick story. My youngest daughter is almost five. She has disabilities. In our family, we had been working through many different catechisms. I was mainly working with my older two children, because my youngest is not as verbal and just is delayed overall. One day I said to my kids, kind of like in review, because this was basic, I just said, “Who made you?” And my youngest daughter, who doesn't hardly speak very much, she just goes “God,” and just yelled it out. I just lost it. 

This is a truth that I don't know when it was planted in her heart. Because this was the first time, she had articulated it for us. But I just thought, “Oh, baby, I'm so glad you know this. I want you to know this.” It was such a joy to see something that maybe we have been working on in passing take root in her heart. 

I pray that is even for my other children who are regularly developing, that as they grow up and someone says, “You're not very smart, or you're not beautiful, or you're not good,” whatever, it may be probably much harsher than that; that they remember. “No, God made me.” Some of those catechizing type things, those are what really implant truths from the Bible. They give us language to be able to rebut lies, to be able to fight Satan, to just speak truth to our hearts and to other people. And so, I have really enjoyed catechizing my children. I haven't done it maybe as much as I have wanted to or felt like I should. But I think when we take time to do those things, they come out of us in moments when we need them the most.

Erin: That is so good. And you know, I have four sons. I think they probably all have a different approach to learning, they probably learn each one in a different unique way, and certainly at a different pace. And so, there's not a one and done approach to implanting these things in my children's hearts. One of them is definitely an auditory listener. So, he likes to listen to the Bible read out loud. One of them is definitely kinesthetic. He's gonna need to draw or sculpt it or something. One of them cannot sit still for I don't know, any given amount of time. 

So, we're gonna have to find some way to do it. Well, that dude is on the move. And so, we just take this constant creativity. We love Songs for Saplings, which is some music, you can find it on YouTube. It's straight Scripture, and we're playing it a lot. Hunter, anything you want to add to this idea of catechizing our kids?

Hunter Beless: Yeah, I think Laura put it so beautifully, that it really is a summarization of what Scripture teaches on a particular topic. And so, this ties in really well with Scripture memory. I think you're just giving them doctrinal statements. They don't know that word. But you're teaching them what the whole Bible says about who made me. And these are wonderful things, like Laura said, just in that moment of need. I think the Holy Spirit is able to bring those truths to mind to help them employ them in times they need them both. 

So, it's a lot like Scripture memory. But you're just taking all the verses about one particular topic and giving them a little blip about here's what the Bible says about this. There are so many wonderful helps out there particularly in relation to singing. We love Asked Me Who. That's one of the CDs that we listened to whenever they were really young. Then New City Catechism. That's another great resource. And certainly, I want to be doing this more as well because this isn't something that I grew up with. 

I am really helped by it and refreshed by it as a mother myself. So, it's such a great practice for for mothers who may not have time to be studying a systematic theology text just to bust out the app, the New City Catechism app, set it on kid’s section, and then to be also refreshing our own hearts and minds with the truth about God's Word and who He is in His Word as we spend time together with our children

Erin: I've found that to be true. Listen, ain't no mama got time for systematic theology texts. So, we’ve got to find some other ways. I'm refreshed. You're right. I enjoy that time with my kids. I enjoy that learning together. I've been soaking this whole year in Psalm 92, which is all about delight, that delight is good for us. Praising God is good for us. Singing is good for us. And what I'm finding is that when I delight in my kids, that they delight in me. When I delight in God's Word, it's something that I want to reach for. It's not drudgery. 

So, the big idea of everything you're saying, I think it's like, just make it fun. Enjoy it. It's supposed to be enjoyable. This opportunity we get is to disciple our children. 

Dannah: What a fun conversation that was! Head to today’s transcript at ReviveOurHearts.com/weekend to find links to Laura and Hunter’s children’s books. You’re gonna love those—and I think your kids will, too. Let’s get those little ones catechized! And, let’s praise the Lord for the gospel-rich resources that help us do just that. 

Alright, our third and final mercy for the young mom is the testimonies of moms gone before us. These testimonies remind us that we’re not alone on this mom journey of ours. Other moms have navigated the same challenges, cried out to the same God, and discovered the same mercy that is available to you. I had the privilege of meeting a young mom named Tracy Lane not too long ago. She’s a writer for FamilyLife Today and a mother with a riveting story of surrender. I think her testimony is going to encourage you deeply to press on in the good, hard work of motherhood.

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Dannah: Hey, if you don't mind, I'm gonna dive right in with a really sensitive question because I don't know how to ask it without seeming offensive, at least in my own heart? But when I read your riveting story the other day, I actually thought of Pharaoh’s order to have the Jewish baby boys killed in Egypt, because he thought those babies had no value. They at least had no value to him. And when I read your story, there were doctors who felt the baby you carried in your womb (I am imagining it was about eight years ago) had no value. What did those doctors see? And what did they recommend when you were carrying Annie?

Tracy Lane: Yes, the doctors didn't think she mattered. At our 20-week ultrasound, they told us that our second baby was going to be a girl, which I was so thrilled. I wanted to have another little girl. The only problem was, that baby had only half of her heart. They told us that outside of my womb she would be incompatible with life. The doctor said, “Go ahead and take care of that today.” He told us it wouldn't be worth carrying her. He'd said that I wouldn't want to experience what I was going to have to experience. What he recommended is to terminate the pregnancy. 

Dannah: Not many women have to hear words like those words, that horrific. I'm hearing the juxtaposition of the joy that you're having the girl that you dreamed of. and the horror, with the doctor suggesting that you abort that precious girl. You chose life. I want to know, what has life with Annie been like?

Tracy: Yes, we did choose life. It was absolutely the right decision. It's been challenging. There have been a lot of very scary moments. She's had three open-heart surgeries. We actually had to move our family across the country to be closer to the care that she needed. So, we could say Annie's health has dictated so many things in our life. But we can see that it's really what God has used to guide us to where He has us and to give us the story of His grace and His strength. Annie’s such a joy. 

Dannah: All right, fast forward to 2020. What a year!. We're at the height of the pandemic. You're pregnant again. Was there apprehension about that baby's heart? And how did it turn out? 

Tracy: Yes. It was a huge act of surrender to God, that we could trust the size of our family and the health of our family to Him. So yeah, we got pregnant with our third. And they scheduled an ultrasound at 20 weeks, looking at his heart, because of Annie’s heart. 

I've been in those rooms enough times to know when something isn't going right. So, I wasn't sure what it was, but I understood that it wasn't going to be good. He said, I don't even know how to tell this to a mother like you, but your son has spina bifida.

Dannah: Wow. 

Tracy: Yeah. 

Dannah: So again, were you faced with a decision? I mean, knowing your heart, you didn't have a decision? Did the doctors also make a recommendation that time?

Tracy: He did. He told us that Davis likely would never walk and that he would likely be significantly cognitively impaired. And of course, his first recommendation for what he calls treatment was to terminate.

Dannah: Wow. What did you and your husband say?

Tracy: Yeah, so it's interesting, because with Annie when we were in that room when the doctor suggested it, I was the first one with an immediate no. You know, I was carrying her and I could feel her kicking. This time with Davis, I felt like I didn't have the fight anymore. 

Dannah: Oh wow.

Tracy: But thankfully, Matt still did. He was the immediate, “No, no, that's not an option for us.” And of course, I agreed with him. I would want nothing else. But I didn't have the strength to say at that time, and God gave it to him. It was actually a really sweet journey for our marriage too, to just be able to see what God would give each of us during each different day parenting these two children, plus Audrey who's our healthy child. He really has just given us what we needed every moment of every day.

Dannah: I love how you see the treasures in this surrender. How's that sweet baby doing? What's his health journey been like?

Tracy: I cannot imagine life without him. I mean, he really does complete our family. He was born at the Children's Hospital. He spent a week there. But when he was born, I didn't get to meet him. He went straight into the hands of a neurosurgeon to remove the big bubble on his back. That was a very difficult day for us. 

You want to meet your baby, you want to hold your baby, and I didn't even see him before the surgeon did. I met him later that night. But God has just healed him so much.

Dannah: Praise the Lord. 

Tracy: Yes, it’s so fun. 

Dannah: I love the faith that's still in your heart, in your mind. This isn't easy. What a life lesson you are for all of us, a living life lesson in surrender. I wonder, what you'd say to a woman listening right now who's facing surrender, maybe in areas of her marriage or her health, but it could be in the health of her children or her grandchildren? What encouragement would you give to her today?

Tracy: Surrender is hard. I think it's fair to say that. That's a big part of encouragement I would give. Because sometimes in the faith community, we want it to seem really easy. Like, if we just trusted or if we just prayed harder, but really surrendering what we want, and our dreams through our life, it's very difficult. But I think it's important to remember who you're surrendering to. At times, I felt like I was having to surrender to different diagnoses for my kids. But that's really not what I was surrendering to. When we surrender, we're surrendering to a good God, and He cares about us. 

Dannah: Wow, yes.

Tracy: He knows what we need. I need to keep that in the forefront. Again, surrender is never easy. But if I keep that in the forefront, it makes the surrender worth it. And I'm not alone in this surrender. I have that good God asking me to surrender, walking with me through the surrender. And He gives us what we need. We can trust Him.

Dannah: I love that. That's two good pieces of advice. One, remember, surrender is not easy. You have permission for it to be hard. It wouldn't be surrender, if it wasn't hard, right? 

Tracy: Right.

Dannah: No matter what you're facing, it's okay to say, Jesus, this is so hard. I can't believe that I'm having to do this again. And the second thing, remember what or who you're surrendering to, it's not that circumstance. It's not that sickness. It's trust in the Lord that you're surrendering to.

Now, I imagine your story is probably like mine. When the Lord asked me to surrender, I surrender. It's all over and my heart is perfect. They're on. And I never have to re surrender again, because it's all settled with the Lord, right? No, it doesn't work that way. So what do you do on those days, when you're like, I feel like I'm starting over today, I have to re-surrender to this?

Tracy: Well, I will say, I think that's every day. Especially with our kids, it's very hard, because every day demands something different from me than it would if that wasn't the case. But what I do is just ground myself in who He is. I mean, I like to meditate on Scripture and just think about Psalm 56. There's the verse, “When I'm afraid, I will trust in You.” And I'm afraid to surrender every day again. But I just remember who I'm trusting and, and really, I look back on God's faithfulness, the surrender has been okay, it's never failed me yet. Because again, I'm surrendering to Him. He hasn't failed me. And if I can focus on that, I can surrender this day, this moment, over and over to that good God.

Dannah: I love that, Tracy. Wow. You said Psalm 56, right? Psalm 56, “When I'm afraid, I will trust in you” (v. 3). That's the verse you probably need or the chapter you need to dig into. On the days when you're feeling like you have to start all over with your surrender again, Tracy, you know what I hear from your heart? It's an understanding that we can surrender all of our lives to Jesus every bit. Even really difficult, ongoing circumstances, like having a daughter with half a heart. Or those nights when the babies are sick, and they're throwing up, and we just have to have the energy to make it through. We can surrender to the Lord and those things because He's promised us good things, and we can trust Him. Thanks for being with us today, Tracy. God bless you.

Tracy: Thank you for having me.

Dannah: What a testimony from Tracy Lane. Talk about learning to surrender on the hot pavement of life! Maybe God is asking you to do the same today. If that’s true, I hope Tracy’s testimony fills you with courage. Surrender is hard, but never impossible because the one we surrender to is so, so good. When we are afraid, we can put our trust in Him. If you’d like to see Tracy tell her story, you can do that! This interview was originally shared via videocast. We’ll link to that in today’s transcript at ReviveOurHearts.com. 

You heard from quite a few women in ministry today. Those who pour themselves out through writing and speaking and sharing their stories so that women can know Christ more deeply. This is good and joy-filled work, but it can also lead to weariness. They need encouragement, too!

Do you have a heart for them? Would you be interested in partnering with us to serve women’s ministry leaders in your area? If so, the Revive Our Hearts Ambassador program is for you. Ambassadors help local leaders press on in the vital work of women’s ministry. They’re cheerleaders who pray, encourage, and equip. To learn more about how to get involved, visit ReviveOurHearts.com/ambassadors. We’d love to hear from you.

This podcast, the Ambassador Program, all of the outreaches here at Revive Our Hearts are possible because listeners give. If this ministry has been a blessing to you and you’d like to make a donation, you can do that at ReviveOurHearts.com. When you do, we’d love to send you our brand-new book, Finding Beauty in Every Season—thirty days of stunning nature imagery paired with encouragement drawn from Nancy's teaching. It’s a gentle, daily reminder that in every chapter of your story, God is writing something beautiful. Again, you can donate at ReviveOurHearts.com. Be sure to request your photo book when you do!

Well, today may have been for the young moms, but we see you older mommas! Don’t you worry—we’ve got a weekend program coming for you. We’ll talk about raising teens with two words—courage and compassion— next weekend. I hope you’ll come back for that!

Thanks for listening today. I’m Dannah Gresh. We’ll see you next time for Revive Our Hearts Weekend.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

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