Gratitude: Causes and Effects

This episode contains portions from the following programs:

"It Is Good to Give Thanks"

"Cancer and Contentment, Part 3"

"The Shocking Compassion of God"

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Dannah Gresh: Hello, friend! I have a little challenge for you to consider. Imagine if you could build each day on a foundation so strong that nothing—not your worries, not your schedule, not even a cranky mood—could knock you off course. Today, we're talking about the simple, powerful habit of thanksgiving. 

Now, before you think you’ve heard it all, I’m going to share something with you that might just change the way you approach every single day . . . and night. I’ve got bookends, if you will, for your day. Something to hold you together!

So get ready to unwrap a daily rhythm of gratitude that can keep your heart anchored, no matter what comes your way. 

Welcome to Revive Our Hearts Weekend, I’m Dannah Gresh!

Before I tell you about those bookends for your day, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth wants to point you to the true meaning of gratitude. She’s teaching on Psalm 92. Verse 1 says:

It is good to give thanks to the LORD,
to sing praises to your name, O Most High.

Here’s Nancy, reflecting on that verse.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: We know through all of Scripture that God is good. Even when everything else around us seems to be bad, God is good, and it is a good thing to give thanks to the Lord. 

Thanksgiving is a good thing. Praise to the Lord is a good thing. It's valuable; it's precious; it's worthwhile. It is good to give thanks to the Lord. 

And then we see the object of our praise. It is good to give thanks not just to some general, cosmic, something-out-there nebulous something; but it is good to give thanks to the Lord, to Yahweh, the self-existent One, who is the Creator of everything that is, who is the Ruler, the sovereign and the providential God of the universe and of time past and time present, and time to come for all of eternity. 

He is the Lord; we give our thanks to Him. It is good to sing praise to Your name, Most High. Elyon, the Most High God. He is exalted. He is above every person, every circumstance, every nation, every problem, every sin. He is above everything. He is the God Most High. We give thanks to the Lord. We praise the Lord, the Most High God. That is the object of our praise. 

When we're singing praise, we have lots of things to thank the Lord for. It's appropriate to thank Him for those things. But we start by thanking Him for His covenant-keeping love. The love of God is not based on who we are, or what we've done, or what we could do for God, or how we perform for Him. He loves us because He is a faithful, covenant-keeping God. And His lovingkindness to us never ceases. So, we start the theme of our praise, the faithful love of God. 

And then as we continue in these first few verses of Psalm 92, we see not only the object of our praise, and thanks, not only the theme of our praise, and thanks, but also the expression of our praise, and thanks. And the psalmist gives us some insight to other psalms throughout Scripture: how we are to praise the Lord and when we are to praise the Lord.

How? We are to give thanks and to praise the Lord in a variety of ways that we see. In verses 2 and 3, we are to praise the Lord with our voices. It says, “declare the faithful love and the faithfulness of God.” 

I’ve been thinking about that as I get up in the morning. I want to declare the love of God, the faithfulness of God, that means to speak the love of God, to speak the faithfulness of God, to declare it first to the Lord. “Lord, You are faithful. You are loving. You are kind. You are merciful. You never stop loving me. You never stop keeping me.” Declaring to the Lord thanks and praise for His steadfast love and faithfulness. 

But sometimes we need to declare it to ourselves. “Soul, you're upset. You're overwrought. You're anxious about this or that.” I need to remind my soul, remind myself, that God loves me, that God is faithful, no matter what is going on in this world or in my world this day. 

I want to just say that it's a good thing to give thanks to the Lord all through the day and even as we awaken during the night. I think of that song many of us sing at times in our corporate worship, 

The sun comes up; it's a new day dawning.
It's time to sing your song again.
Whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me,
Let me be singing when the evening comes. 

And what is His song we're going to be singing? 

Bless the Lord, oh my soul,
Oh, my soul, worship His holy name.
Sing like never before, oh, my soul.
I all worship Your holy name.
(“10,000 Reasons” by Matt Redman)

The steadfast love and the faithfulness of God are never ending. Our praise and our thanks should be never ending. Morning and night and all the time in between, all the way to the end of our earthly lives, and through all eternity.

Look at verse 4:

For you have made me rejoice, LORD . . .

That word means “to be glad; to brighten up.” When somebody’s happy, you can tell it by their face. Right? Their countenance gets brighter. And the psalmist says, “Lord, You have made me rejoice. You have brightened, you have gladdened my face, my countenance. You have made me rejoice.”

And then in that second half of that verse:

I will shout for joy . . .

You see, praise and thanksgiving are not supposed to be something we just keep totally within our own hearts. It doesn’t have to always be a quiet exercise. It can be a very expressive exercise–singing aloud to the Lord.

And I want to say, when you come together with the people of God on the Lord’s Day for corporate worship, when they sing, I want to encourage you to sing. 

The psalmist says, “Lord, You have made me rejoice.” It doesn’t mean there aren’t any problems. It doesn’t mean there aren’t any hard things going on in our lives. You look across the congregation on any given Lord’s Day, and there are lots of people who have deep pain in their lives and in their circumstances. Maybe you do as you worship the Lord. But in the midst of that, the psalmist says, “You have made me rejoice. You have brightened my heart, my face. You have gladdened me. I will shout for joy. I will express the joy that You put in my heart because of who You are.”

Now, what causes that kind of response? What’s the source of our thanksgiving and praise? What’s the source of our joy?

Well, it’s not something that we can just conjure up: ”I’m going to be a happy person. I’m going to sing clappy-happy songs. I’m going to pretend like I’m happy.” That’s not what we’re talking about.

The joy we’re talking about is not rooted or grounded in what’s going on around us which may be painful, grievous, hard. That’s not the source of our joy. What is the source of our rejoicing and our joy?

Well, we’ve seen part of the answer to that in verse 2 that we looked at yesterday. The source of our joy is in who God is—His faithful love, His steadfast love, His loving kindness, and His faithfulness. That word in the Hebrew means, literally, “firmness.” We waffle. We waiver. We shift. We go up and down sometimes with our emotions or with how we’re feeling. But God is firm. The word “faithfulness” means “security, stability.” He is a steady, faithful God. When we’re up and down, He is steady. He is faithful.

So who God is, this is a reason for joy, for rejoicing, and for celebrating the goodness of God.

Dannah: I couldn't agree more! That’s Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, reminding us that God is the source of our gratitude. We must thank Him because of who He is—not just when we feel like He’s doing nice things for us.

Did you hear the bookends for life? Nancy shared them when she taught from Psalm 92:2. Thank God for His steadfast love in the morning—bookend one. And thank Him for His faithfulness at night—bookend two. A rhythm of thanksgiving to hold your life together. We thank Him for His love every morning because it’s our foundation for living. And then at the end of the day when the world has maybe worn us down a bit, we thank Him for His faithfulness. Try it. You’ll be glad you did. 

Scott Melby recognized the importance of practicing that habit of thanking God in all circumstances. Scott was one of the Revive Our Hearts board members. Several years ago, he was diagnosed with an aggressive type of leukemia. Over the next few years he went through many treatments and two bone marrow transplants. He, his wife, Karen, and his whole family went through unimaginable suffering—yet they did not lose hope. In fact, they made it a point to continue to thank God even on the days when Scott was in terrible pain or they received more bad news. Let’s listen to part of Nancy’s conversation with Scott. This was recorded just a few months before he went home to be with the Lord in 2016.

Scott Melby: Once the initial shock wore off, and we began to remind each other of all the amazing stories of God's goodness during our first transplant, it really gave us such hope for the future. And isn't that what we're supposed to do, to focus on God's goodness and to look back on the many times where He's been faithful and has provided over and above? And because of that, we can have hope for the future. Because of what God has done and is doing in our lives, we can have hope for the future.

Nancy: Scott, I've watched you, both of you, and it's just been astonishing to me . . . I guess it shouldn't be astonishing because you have a track record with God, and He's proven Himself faithful. But to see somebody in the fire, in the storm, just relentlessly clinging to what you know to be true about God when you are sick, weak, and scared, and facing . . . really, facing death.

Being in the hospital this last time, visiting that afternoon, and, Scott, you were so, so, so sick. You were just writhing. You were shaking. You're not really aware of anything else going on around you. But periodically, you would just say something. It could hardly be understood. It was quiet, but it was intense. As I got closer, I could hear.

Two things you kept saying were, "God has been so good to us. God has been so good to us." You would say that repeatedly. And the other thing you would say was, "We've got so much to be thankful for."

I'm going: Here is a man who is in the jaws of physical death potentially, and you're saying, "We've got so much to be thankful for." How did you get that perspective? Why was that what was coming out of your mouth in that very, very low point?

Scott: Nancy, it's all of grace. That's where that came from. It came from God's grace that has been shown to us in so many areas. Karen and I had been fortunate enough to be raised by Christian parents and Christian grandparents and we have really taken advantage of a significant amount of great Bible teaching in our lives. I know ROH is for women, but I love to listen in on the programs as well, Nancy, and so you've been part of that.

So we had a deep well of biblical knowledge that we could dig into that really helped us formulate the basis for how we were going to look at this. I lost my dad three years ago, and Karen lost her mom eight years ago. They were both godly people, and they both suffered significantly. So it's been modeled for us how to go through suffering and to watch my mom and Karen's dad walk alongside of a spouse that they loved very much who was going through intense suffering. We were able to take away significantly from that as well.

Nancy, in a time of turmoil when the world is turning upside down, Scripture is the only true north we have. So we threw ourselves into Scripture. And we would continually ask the Lord . . . You know that verse in Romans about renewing your mind? We would pray back Scripture to the Lord. We would remind Him of His promises. We would claim His promises. We would say, "Lord, Your Word says You care about every detail of our lives, and we've got some details that we really need Your help with." And we'd remind ourselves that God promises to never leave us nor forsake us; that He's always with us; that His love never runs out. We can never reach the end of His love for us.

So, really, it was marinating our minds in Scripture, and marinating was the word we kept using. We have to keep going back to Scripture.

We all face times of suffering and illness and pain and stress and disappointment in life. I want to encourage everyone to look at those as opportunities. Don't run from them, but remember that those experiences in our life, I know I already said it already, but they only come into our lives by being sifted through the hands of an all-loving, all-knowing, all-powerful God. And so, therefore, let's look and see what we can learn. Let's lean into those times of suffering.

And we really focused not only on saturating our minds with Scripture and prayer, but, Nancy, your book Choosing Gratitude really set a platform of trying to go through this time of suffering and always looking for something to be grateful for because no matter how tough the situation is, there are always things to be grateful for.

We found that when we focused on gratitude, it really redirected our thoughts automatically to God's goodness; whereas, when we focused on the pain and the what-ifs and the "How is this going to work out?" it always would lead down the path to fear and to anguish.

So we had a choice to make and by doing it God's way and looking at these as an opportunity to draw closer to Him, an opportunity to be refined into the men and women of Christ that He wants to turn us into, it gave us a whole different perspective on approaching the cancer journey.

Dannah: That’s Scott Melby, reflecting on God’s goodness to him and his family. He never lost sight of that, even when things did not seem to be going well. His cancer treatments failed. Less than six months after that was recorded, his earthly body was buried. But his hope wasn’t in this world, so he could still be thankful.

What about you? Maybe you’re going through something just as difficult as Scott and Karen Melby did. Or maybe it’s something smaller, but it can still be a challenge to fix your eyes on Jesus. When you’re faced with trials, I hope you’ll decide to thank God in and through them, no matter what. You can do that because of your hope in God, but also, like Scott mentioned, expressing your gratitude to Him will actually increase your hope.

When you’re intentional about thanking God for who He is and what He’s done, there’s something else that happens. Because you recognize how unworthy you are of God’s love and compassion, you want to show that kind of love to others. 

Kelly Needham talked about what that looks like. Now, she didn’t use the words “gratitude” or “thanksgiving,” but I think you’ll see how compassion flows out of gratitude to God. Here’s Kelly.

Kelly Needham: Compassion is a very, “I’m moved to do something for somebody else.” It is inward; it starts inside. A lot of the Hebrew uses of the word “compassion.” When I asked my husband this, he said he had talked to a Hebrew scholar who said, “The best way I could put language to that Hebrew word for compassion is: warm womb.”

Warm womb. There’s a motherly emotive, longing, and moving toward somebody out of compassion. It’s that God looks at the people who have mistreated Him and has compassion on them! “My compassion grows warm and tender.” It’s shocking! Never in my life could I have that response toward someone who has treated me that way.

And God says, “I know. I’m not like you. I’m God. I’m not man. I’m not like you. I don’t come in my wrath.” Now, how can that be, right? How can God extend such kindness? Because there is burning anger; there is wrath for sin. We know that, right? 

Ephesians 2:3 calls us “children of wrath” before we have been saved, that the wrath of God abides on those of us who are in sin. How can God do this? There’s one reason: it’s Jesus! Jesus is the only reason that God can extend His compassion.

All we like sheep have gone astray;
we have turned—every one—to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all. . . .

Yet it was the will of the Lord to crush him;
he has put him to grief;
when his soul makes an offering for guilt,
he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days;
the will of the Lord shall prosper in his hand. (Isa. 53:4–10)

That last verse, verse 10: “It was the will of the Lord to crush him . . .” I love the translation that comes from the NASB1995 that says, “The Lord was pleased to crush him.” If you look at the word usage in the Hebrew, that word across the board is “pleasure” and “delight” in other parts of our Bible. 

It was the “pleasure” and “delight” of God to crush His Son?! I have no concept of that! Again, we’re man; we’re not like Him. He was pleased to crush His Son because His compassion for us is love for us—it is not a choice.

There’s an internal compassion, kindness, love from God that is something that is so hard to fathom. 

Scripture says in 1 Timothy 1:15: “The saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the foremost.” Jesus came, not to first give the wrath of God, but to come and receive the wrath of God so that we didn’t have to.

He came to bear our wrath for us so that He could come in the compassion of God to welcome us into His fellowship and friendship. Though we have been His enemies and bent on turning away from Him, He had compassion on us. It is shocking!

I think this is what helps motivate us to show compassion to others. I don’t know who you struggle to be nice to, to be kind to, to feel like a tender feeling toward. For a lot of us moms, that could be our kids on any given day because we feel this a little bit in parenthood.

“I bend down and feed you every day, and you don’t give me a ‘thank you’?!” Have you ever felt that? We don’t say it all the time, but it sure rises up! I remember my daughter one day it felt like from the moment she picked her sweet little head up from her bed until we made it in the car to run some errands (probably only 11:00 a.m.), it was constant complaints! “I need . . . I need this . . . Why haven’t you done this? Why isn’t this working?” And I was actually really working hard to be patient. I remember praying, “Lord, give me patience!”

I was doing really good for a while. Then I had this moment right before we left where I just kind of blew up a little bit and raised my voice: “Guys! I just need a second!” I don’t remember what I said, but again I was working really hard, like, “Lord, help me grow in this area.”

So we got in the car and I buckled everybody up. I had a moment to just breathe while everybody was strapped in. I was going to turn around and apologize to my daughter. Before I could get the words out, this comes from behind: “Mommy, are you going to apologize to me now?” (laughter) Sweet girl! (sarcastically)

And you know what came out of me at that moment? Wrath! I felt anger! “No! I’m not going to apologize to you!” That’s what was bubbling out of my heart. I don’t have it! But the Lord does, and meditating on His compassion for me—soaking it in, thinking on it, meditating on it—then I can remember in that moment, “Lord, I’m just like my daughter! ‘Lord, are You going to apologize to me for not giving me what I wanted when I wanted it?!’” That’s in my heart! But the Lord is patient and kind with me and He pours out compassion on me. 

As I think on that, that becomes so beautiful to me, that then in that moment I have strength to say, “Lord, make me like You. I want to be more like You than like man, like humanity. I can’t do it. Would You help me?”

I don’t know what need you have for the compassion of God and what it needs to move in you, but it’s when we look to His compassion and His great mercy and His great empathy for people who are not deserving of it that will actually motivate an overflow of that to those in our own lives. 

Dannah: Kelly Needham has been looking at the compassion that flows out of those who have experienced God’s compassion. The more thankful you are for what He’s done, the more eager you are to show His love to others. You can’t have a grateful heart and ignore pain and suffering around you!

Makes you think, doesn’t it? I've got to ask: does your perspective need to change? If you’re going through a difficult time right now, do you need to make a list of everything you can thank God for? And if your life is easy, do you take it for granted? Do you need to refocus on God and thank Him for all He’s done? From your salvation to the pumpkins on your porch, there are so many things to be thankful for.

Well, whatever your circumstances are right now, I think you’ll find the newest Revive Our Hearts resource to be a great help in looking to Jesus. It’s our 2025 wall calendar, and it’s full of Scripture and quotes from Nancy’s book Choosing Gratitude. Plus, it’s beautiful!

When you give any amount this month in support of Revive Our Hearts, we’ll send you next year’s calendar if you ask for it! You can do that at ReviveOurHearts.com, or call 1-800-569-5959.

Now, we all know that the next few weeks are going to be busy! Parties, concerts, and sweets will abound! It can be overwhelming, right? How do you approach this season with a welcoming, hospitable attitude . . . without going crazy? We’ll talk about that next week, so be sure to join us.

In the meantime, happy Thanksgiving! And thanks for listening today. I’m Dannah Gresh. We’ll see you next time for Revive Our Hearts Weekend.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

*Offers available only during the broadcast of the podcast season.