Dealing with Depression and Doubt

Episode Notes:

Today's programs comes from the following episodes:

"Drought and Drowning"

"Tips for Beating Anxiety"

"Constant Gospel Warfare"

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Dannah Gresh: Some people actually see opportunity in depression. Here’s Dr. David Murray:

Dr. David Murray: What you see is how God uses it and the good He brings out of it. It’s like the oyster has a little piece of sand that it gets really irritated by, and so it coats it with this beautiful white coat, which makes it a bit bigger and even more irritating. So he coats it with even more of that white material. And that makes him even more irritated. Eventually, you have a pearl at the end of it! But it started off as a really irritating bit of sand or grit.

Dannah: There is beauty in pain and suffering. Today I’d like to talk about how to see it when you’re facing depression and anxiety.

Welcome to Revive Our Hearts Weekend, I’m Dannah Gresh. 

I want to put a disclaimer here, even before we get too far into this episode. I know that depression and anxiety brings up different feelings for different people. There are lots of unique ways this battle shows up: from circumstantial depression, like post-partum, to clinical long-term depression. Even the terms depression and anxiety cover a wide array of the battles that we face. Your experience with it is likely different from mine. I don’t want to take that fact lightly. 

I want to acknowledge that only God knows what will help, and maybe you’ve not been able to find it just yet. I know what it’s like to fight for answers and just come up with more questions on this topic!

I don’t know . . . Maybe you have Scripture all over the house and still the fog just won’t lift. I wonder if King David from the Bible felt like you. You know, he had bouts of depression.

Just listen to this from Psalm 42. You probably recognize the beginning of this chapter. It reads:

As a deer pants for flowing streams,
   so pants my soul for you, O God.

And that chapter ends with these words: 

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
   and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
   my salvation and my God.

In fact, the next Psalm—43—also ends with those exact words. 

Yes, King David struggled with depression and had a lot of questions for God about it. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth spent some time teaching through Psalm 42 and 43. She says when we face seasons of hardship, there are two natural responses we tend to have. 

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: First, we see that there was the response of depression. Depression. His soul is cast down. You see that in verse 5, in verse 6, in verse 11, and then in the last verse of chapter 43 as well, where he says, “My soul is cast down.” The marginal reading there in my Bible says, “literally bowed down.” You just see a man who’s got the weight of the world on his shoulders—or so he thinks.

But it’s not just his shoulders. It’s one thing to carry a heavy load on your back. It’s another thing to feel that your soul is carrying a load that is just too great. I think one of the most common things I sense among women today is that their soul is cast down. Their spirit is heavy. They’re bowed down. They’re weighed down.

Here’s a man who is discouraged. He’s depressed. And you see in these psalms a number of the symptoms of depression. He’s emotionally distraught. He can’t sleep at night. There’s a loss of appetite. The cloud just won’t lift. Some of you know exactly what that’s like. You relate when the Psalmist says in verse 3, “My tears have been my food day and night.” “I just can’t stop crying. I mean, life is just too heavy; it’s weighing me down.”

He’s really ultimately grieving the loss of communion and intimate fellowship with God. There’s a lot happening in his life. In tomorrow’s session we’ll see what some of those things were that were going on in his life, but ultimately what he’s really missing deep in his heart is a connectedness to God, intimacy, communion with God. So there’s this depression.

Then there’s a struggle with doubt. That’s another natural response to times of drought and times of feeling that we’re drowning. And that’s to doubt—to doubt ourselves, to doubt God, to doubt others, to doubt everything that we maybe were so sure of. I can remember after one major season of loss and grief in my own life, there was a period where I honestly doubted almost everything that I had been so sure of in relation to my faith since I was a little girl. All of sudden, it felt like it was all up in the air—all up for grabs.

And the Psalmist says to himself in verse 5, “Why are you cast down, O my soul?” That’s the depression. Then he says, “Why are you disquieted within me?” He speaks to his soul, “Why are you disquieted within me?” That’s the doubt. That word disquieted . . . One commentator says you could say that word is “tumultuated.” Now that’s not an everyday word we would used, but you get the picture. “Why are you tumultuated within me?” It pictures the tossing, the turning of this tempestuous sea and the surging waves, not only outside his life, but even harder within his heart.

You know what I mean when I talk about that surging of the sea within your heart? That sense of being disquieted? That feeling that the storm is not only raging outside me, but it’s raging inside my heart? You begin to doubt with these roller coaster emotions in the midst of the stormy sea. He’s plagued with questions, with doubts.

In between these two psalms—Psalms 42 and 43—there are thirteen questions. Ten of them are the question, “Why?” He asks himself; he asks God. Why? There are many unresolved questions in his mind—things that don’t make sense. You know why? Because he’s down on this little ocean in this little boat. He can’t see the big picture.

All he sees are the waves and the water pouring in his boat. He can’t see what God sees, and that’s how he’s going to encourage and counsel his heart as we move into this psalm—by getting out of his own perspective and getting into a little bit of God’s perspective.

Apart from that perspective that comes from God, he’s experiencing depression and doubt. Now, humanly speaking, this man has good reason to be depressed and to doubt. There’s a lot going on around him that really is stormy and troubling. Humanly speaking, some of you have a lot of reason, either now or a season of past times in your life, to be overwhelmed, to feel depressed, to doubt.

Let’s talk about what some of those reasons are that surface in this psalm. The first one is that he has found himself in a place where he has been removed from the place of worship and from the people of God. He’s far away from the place that he’s been accustomed to worship and from the people with whom he’s enjoyed fellowship in the past.

The Psalmist (probably David) is far removed from the place where he always used to go to worship God: Jerusalem. Now he’s living, according to verse 6, in the northern part of Palestine. There’s some references there. He says, “I will remember You from the land of the Jordan, and from the heights of Hermon, from the Hill Mizar.”

These are places that are in the northern part of Palestine. Now, where is Jerusalem? It’s in the southern part of Palestine, isn’t it? For some reason, he’s had to leave and he’s not able to make the pilgrimage to the house of the Lord. He’s been forced to leave the place where he was accustomed to meeting with God, and he’s not able to be with other believers who worship God.

If the Psalmist was David, we know this could have been in a season of his life when he was driven away from his home, either by King Saul’s persecutions or by his son Absalom’s rebellion, when he had to leave the palace in Jerusalem. As a result, he’s cut off from worship. He’s banished from the house of God. He’s missing the Ark of the Covenant, the token, the symbol of God’s presence.

He’s struggling with how to maintain an intimate relationship with God when there are no visible means of support. How to have a close walk with God when he’s cut off from the visible means of fellowship and encouragement that he received spiritually from being at the house of the Lord in times past.

It’s my missionary friend saying, “I’m out here on this mission field. I know I’m here because God put me here, but it’s lonely.” This gal comes from a strong evangelical church where there’s lots of fellowship and great teaching of the Word, and now she’s in a place where she has very little of that.

We’re accustomed to having our church, our fellowship, our small groups, and I wonder sometimes if we take those for granted—the privilege that it is for most of us to have around us a means of support for our faith. We do experience times when some of that is taken away. Then we are challenged in our faith.

Maybe you work in a place that’s a really ungodly environment; and when you’re there, you feel like you are just totally separated from all means of grace. You think, How do I stay connected to God in this environment where people swear, where there’s filthy language, where they just have no fear of the Lord? It’s hard.

Maybe you come from an unsaved family, and there are no believers in your family and you go home to family gatherings and you feel so cut off. You say, "How do I spend holidays with this family that has no concept of spiritual things and still try to keep a close relationship with the Lord myself?" Maybe you’re at a season of life where you’re in your home with a lot of little children, and you feel cut off. There are days when you think, If I could just talk with a grownup—just have some meaningful conversation. For you there is a season of life where isn't much of that.

It may be due to a physical illness. Maybe you've had a season of being hospitalized or are home-bound. There just wasn't a lot means of spiritual support available to you at that time.

You may be new to this area, as I was not too long ago. I found myself feeling at times kind of high and dry. I knew God had put me here. God allowed me to quickly plug into a church that's been such a blessing. But there were times that I just felt like, I don't know anybody. I feel alone. I haven't connected yet and established relationships. At the time I was feeling this.

You've been there. Who's there to support my faith? Who's here to encourage me in my walk with the Lord? You may have been here for a long time but some of the friends you look to for spiritual encouragement have moved away, or they have died and there is not the closeness you once had.

Matthew Henry says that,

Sometimes God teaches us effectually to know the worth of mercies by the want or the lack of them, and He whets our appetite for the means of grace by cutting us short in those means. We’re apt to loathe that manna when we have plenty of it, which will be very precious to us if ever we come to know the scarcity of it.

Dannah: I love hearing Nancy’s explanation. Sometimes life feels so heavy. King David felt that so many times. I mean, just think through the many different valleys he walked through. His best friends’ father wanted to kill him; his own son wanted to kill him at another point in his life; his baby died as a consequence of his sin. He went through a lot of valleys, my friend. I’m not sure if that helps you, but I’m hoping so. 

You know, there are times when you need to get practical to overcome anxiety. Because, on those hard days that life just bares down on you with the weight of a gray-hued world, you need some helpful tools to use. 

I sat down with my good friend and lead teacher at True Girl—that’s my ministry to tween girls and their moms. Anyway, my friend’s name is Janet Mylin. A few years ago, she walked through some gripping anxiety during what is easily described as a horrific season: a close friend of hers committed suicide, two weeks later, her mom died suddently. And . . . well, there was more, but I think that sort of sums up how dark of a season it was for my dear friend. 

Janet told me that this difficult time helped her to learn that anxiety is imagining a future without God’s grace in it! As if that could happen for us! His grace is always there—for me, for you. But, in spite of that deep truth, Janet discovered that she needed some practical tools—things to do— to keep her mind focused on God’s grace. 

Here’s Janet with tool number 1: taking care of your body.

Janet Mylin: A healthy diet, a change in becoming active physically with some exercise, and getting a good night’s sleep – after I would exercise or go for a walk or eat something that was good for me, I had accomplished something healthy for me. That feels good in my mind, it feels good in my heart, and it gives me courage to do the next thing that’s healthy for me. From what I understand, it’s also good for me chemically and inside my body. So it was a win, win, win!

Dannah: Well, exercise can actually give you some of those chemicals, like serotonin or dopamine, that sometimes a pill would give you. So, Tip # 1: Take care of your body! Right?

Janet: It certainly has helped me quite a bit, yes!

Dannah: What’s Tip # 2?

Janet: Tip # 2 reflects on God supplying our needs for each day. I would say out loud, “God has equipped me for this moment, this day, this task.” I have just a little practical example of when that came into play, just quickly.

I was getting ready to leave for a trip and I couldn’t find my wallet. I immediately started getting anxious, because my mind immediately goes to, “What if I’d need my wallet? What if I get pulled over and I don’t have my license? What if I need to get in somewhere and I don’t have my proper ID, so they won’t let me?” What if, what if, what if? 

I’m imaging all these sources of anxiety that have not happened yet! I stopped and I said, “God has equipped me for this moment of not finding my wallet! If later on I don’t get in somewhere because I need my wallet, God will equip me for that moment, too.” It just de-escalates all the emotions. 

And then when I got in the car, of course, my wallet was in the car. But just saying out loud what I am truly equipped for brings it back to this moment instead of anxious moments of the future!

Dannah: Ah, that’s beautiful! So, Tip # 2 is realizing that God equipped me for this moment and living in it. What’s Tip # 3?

Janet: Tip # 3 is a very simple thing of just (this is me problem solving, I’m a great problem-solver) . . . I realize when I’m in anxiety, my emotions are running high, the emotional side of myself is just taking over, so I try to do something to engage my logical side. Sometimes I count backwards from “5” out loud. 

Sometimes it may be tapping out a rhythm of a song or maybe reciting a Scripture or a poem, just something that gets my logical brain to kind of wake up so it can kind of partner with my emotional side . . . and, ideally, they work together! It’s just been helpful to arrest my emotions and get my logic in gear so I can make good decisions in the midst of the anxiety.

So this is my fourth tip on practical things I did to overcome anxiety, and still do. Anxiety for me is a very self-absorbed state. I’m just very much inward thinking about my fears and, “What if, what if, what if?” So again, in my logical thinking I thought, “I need to [Tip # 4] get my mind onto other people.” So I began praying for other people every time anxiety would come.

And I don’t know how much of an anxiety attack is to do with the enemy and how much of it is psychological; I don’t know all of the things. But I do know when I was in the midst of an anxiety attack, if I would start praying out loud for someone’s salvation, something lifted! It was like the heaviness of it lifted, and I stood a fighting chance.

So I took that, that I learned, and I started painting all the countries in the world! I haven’t painted all the countries. I’m at I think like number thirty, maybe. I took my Operation World manual, and I would read about the country and paint the outline of it, and pray for it as I was painting it.

And in the midst of an anxiety experience, that’s what I would go do. When my husband or children would walk by they knew, “She’s painting a country; she’s in the depths; she’s dealing with anxiety.”

Dannah: And, “She’s praying!” Did they know that, too?

Janet: Yes, they did. Something about that act of getting my mind on someone else, or something else, and interceding for them broke so much of the heaviness and the oppressive feeling of anxiety. Then I was able to literally stand up and not be curled up in a ball.

Dannah: That's my friend, Janet Mylin. Didn’t she have some helpful ideas? If you’re walking through something right now, you might find some of Janet’s tools helpful.

• Take care of your body.
• Realize that God has equipped you for this moment.
• Remember you may be emotional right now.
• Get your mind on others. 

Now, these are just tips and might not be the fix-all, but the idea is to do something. For me, it’s jumping on my horse for a nice long trail ride. For my man, it’s jumping on his tractor or going for a long walk. Just find what works for you.

Can I just take a moment right now and acknowledge that maybe you are in a place where these tips feel like nothing more than a mere Band-Aid. If your anxiety and depression are bigger than life right now, I want to tell you something. Please don’t feel ashamed in looking for help. Get the help you need. Talk to a friend and have them check on you if that's what it takes to keep you safe and functioning. Go talk to a Chrisitan counselor. I have two in my life—one for my marriage, one for me. Talk a doctor who can help you medically with what you might be facing. I found my doctor’s help very helpful when I was facing post-partum depression that seemed too dark and too heavy to handle on my own. I want you know that there’s no shame in using the tools, or the people you need, to address the issues of mental health. There's no shame, my friend.

Now, I want to address something that’s uniquely Christian, but I have found it so incredibly helpful when it comes to my own battles with depression anxiety. Sometimes our depression and anxiety is rooted in—brace yourself—sin. 

Now, don’t leave me. Hear me out, please. In my own life there was once a past sin that I allowed to stay closed up in the closet of my heart, a secret no one knew. Maybe that sounds familiar to you. Maybe that particular sin might not be active now at this moment in this season of your life, but you haven’t dealt with it either. Could I be right about that?

Drs. David and Shona Murray have some help for you. They know that sometimes unconfessed sin can cause doubt and even depression to grow in our lives. I had a chance to talk with the Murrays. What an encouraging conversation on this hard topic. Here’s Shona.

Dr. Shona Murray: Some women have a sin like that in their life, and they’ve never told anybody else; they’ve never shared that with anybody. They’re ashamed. They even dread the day of judgment. They have this sense of, “Everybody is going to see this!”

But the reality is, every one of us is harboring sins from our past—of one size, shape or other—and before God, they’re washed forever. So, I think if you’re young, find somebody you can trust, somebody who is wise, somebody whom you know is not going to break confidence. 

That’s another thing. You do not want to share this with someone who is just going to make it a “prayer need” with another fifty people, and then everybody knows. So, number one, find a trusted friend, preferably somebody wiser and older, and just pour it out before them. Tell them, “I know I’m forgiven, but I want to share this with you.”

And sometimes that very act of sharing it and being honest and open verbally with another Christian gives tremendous relief! It doesn’t change things; it’s not confession—in the sense of priestly confession. It’s not that. You have already confessed it before the Great High Priest.

But because we’re human, Satan can keep us in a bind, and that is part of the anxiety that this raises. It becomes bigger and bigger, like a snowball that is gathering momentum and size. 

Whereas, if you can bring that to a friend and say, “Here it is! I want to tell you this, and I need help with this. I need you to pray for me.”

Dannah: Yes, this isn’t just a good idea, this is Scripture! James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to one another . . .” and it’s not, then you will be forgiven. It says and then, “you will be healed.” So there’s a healing work that God has entrusted to the body of Christ.

Dr. Shona: You might call it “closure” is the modern expression. That’s a very common concept, that human beings need it.

Dannah: And once we have confessed it to Christ, we are now no longer in darkness. We’re living in the light of the Lord. Scripture says, “Live like children of the light, not like you’re still in the darkness, and have nothing to do with those old dark deeds, but expose them.” (Eph. 5:8–11 paraphrase).

That’s what Ephesians 5:11 actually says: “Expose them!” For me, I had to come to a place when I was about twenty-six where I just decided to believe that Scripture. I drug my sin into the light, doing just what you said. I told an older, wiser, godly woman. Then I told my husband, and then I told my mom. 

The three scariest conversations I ever had!! Terrifying! Every single one of them resulted in blessing and healing and closure (as you called it)! The Enemy loves to tell us the opposite, but the truth is, if you’ll tell someone, you’re going to find your identity really is restored—you are a sinner, but you are redeemed by Jesus!

Dr. Shona: And you know they love you for who you are, with everything that’s in your past.

Dr. David Murray: I think as well that some of the images in Scripture are even more powerful than the truths, as it were. You can say to someone, “You are forgiven.” But God actually gives us images, pictures that are much more “sticky” than words.

You’ve got Isaiah 1:18, “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.” Psalm 103:12, He removes our sins from us, “as far as the east is from the west.” Then one of the wee prophets, Micah 7:19, He casts “all our sins into the depths of the sea.”

There are many, many more images, but I think to fill our minds with these images. This is a good “Instagram,” as it were. It’s a “Gospelgram.” It’s using image-based truth that God has given us, and I think that can often stick in our minds and be more influential in our souls than even just the bare systematic theology. 

Dannah: I love that! You know what’s happening right now?

Dr. David: What’s that?

Dannah: I’ve got butterflies inside of me. I feel so much joy when we’re talking about truth! And when we talk about truth and we wash one another in the water of the Word, that’s what happens! 

I’m longing for the women listening who have been in this battle with depression, they’ve been under the weight of it for so long, for that to be their norm!

Dr. Shona: I want to give you another verse, Dannah, that’s very helpful. It helped me tremendously. It’s from Isaiah 54. It talks about the woman who is forsaken, tossed with the tempest and afflicted, and God promises a beautiful picture of a building. 

“O afflicted one, storm-tossed, and not comforted, behold, I will . . . lay your foundations with sapphires. I will make your pinnacles [windows] of agate.” (Isa. 54:11–12) It’s this most beautiful building—this picture and creation of God that He promises to make you. The great two words of hope are the two words: I will. 

Dannah: We don’t have to do it; He will do it. Wow, rest in that! That takes us back to where we started, doesn’t it?

Dr. David: Yes, and to just go back to the book of Psalms, Dannah. I think this is what I love about this whole topic of depression and anxiety. People often say to me, “Does that not get really depressing? Could you not rave at something else!?”

Dannah: I’ve gotta say, when you said, “I love the topic,” I thought, That’s a funny sentence right there. “I love the topic of depression and anxiety!” Do tell!

Dr. David: Well, I’m Scottish. But what you see is how God uses it and the good He brings out of it. It’s like the oyster has a little piece of sand that it gets really irritated by, and so it coats it with this beautiful white coat, which makes it a bit bigger and even more irritating. So he coats it with even more of that white material. And that makes him even more irritated. Eventually you have a pearl at the end of it! But it started off as a really irritating bit of sand or grit. 

That’s what I’ve seen depression do in so many lives, in my wife’s life as well.

I think of that verse, Psalm 30:5; let me just read that out: “For his anger is but for a moment, and his favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” 

I think when Christians pass through times of depression and anxiety, the joy that they find on the other side of that is immeasurably greater than what they had beforehand.

And the way you appreciate every day of sanity, of soundness of mind, of just, “I’m walking in the light!” It’s so much more precious than it ever was before!

Dannah: Joy does come in the morning, friend. Remember that, it’s a promise. You may be walking through sadness and grief or doubt and dispair, but joy will come. And it will be wonderful. Hold to that promise.

Something else to hold on to and meditate on as you walk through the valleys of life are the names of Jesus. 

• Mighty God
• Prince of Peace
• Advocate
• Man of Sorrows
• Redeemer

Those are just a few of the names of Jesus. This month we want to send you the book The Wonder of His Name. This book will help you love Him more, and it’s my prayer that just reading the meaning behind His names will cultivate a deeper longing in your heart to know Him more.

This softcover book is yours for a gift of any amount. You can make that gift by calling 1-800-569-5959, or go to ReviveOurHearts.com/weekend and on today’s episode. It’s called "Dealing with Depression and Doubt." 

If you give a gift of $50 or more, we’ll send you the hard cover edition of The Wonder of His Name and the corresponding journal that’s been designed to guide you through exploring the names of Jesus.

Again, this resource is yours when you call 1-800-569-5959.

Thanks for listening today, friend. If you are suffering and feeling alone, let me remind you, you’re not. I’ve asked someone who has been where you are, my friend Janet, to pray for you.

Father, I thank You that we don’t have to have all the answers. I’m not sure we do have all the answers until we see You face to face. But I thank You that You help us along the way. Thank You for Your Holy Spirit, our Helper, our Nurturer who comes along and whispers to us and shouts to us and guides us in the ways of wholeness and healing.

Lord, for any woman right now who’s listening, and she’s just crying because she feels so overwhelmed by anxiety, Holy Spirit, would You just let her know You’re close, that You see her, that she’s not weak or hopeless? Let her know that Your presence is there, Your Spirit is there, and you have equipped her for this exact moment! 

Lord, I pray that You would give her something practical to do today that helps her get her head above the water. I pray that You would show her that she is not in a hopeless situation. Above everything, Father, we are grateful that there is grace and mercy and love for every day—for us, for our children, for our loved ones. You’re for us every day, and we are not alone! In Jesus’ name, amen.

For Revive Our Hearts Weekend, I’m Dannah Gresh

Revive Our Hearts, calling women to freedom, fullness and fruitfulness in Christ.

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