Normal Is Overrated

Claire Black: Welcome to True Girl, a podcast for girls and their moms. I’m Claire Black. Together, we’ll explore God’s truth for us, one drive at a time.

Buckle up.You’re about to grow closer to each other and closer to Jesus!

True Girl Song:

I am a true girl.
Oh, oh, oh.
I am, I am, I am a true girl.

Claire: In season 23 of True Girl, you’re going to explore the theme of standing out and standing up for Jesus. Bottom line: we want you to follow Jesus fearlessly in a world that pressures you to fit in.

There are a lot of ways the being a Christian can feel different. Maybe you don’t watch the same movies as your friends, maybe you don’t have a phone yet, or yours has rules. Maybe you choose kindness and don’t join in when others are being mean. Maybe it’s speaking up for what is right when it makes you feel awkward.

Being different can make you feel lonely, and that’s one thing that can create depression when you don’t fit in. But the truth is, you’re not alone. Dannah Gresh is about to tell you how very much not alone you are . . . and she has numbers to prove it.

In this season she’ll introduce you to special guests: Lorelle Phillips, Suzy Weibel, and Yancy—members of this season’s True Girl Tour team. You can meet them all on the True Girl Crazy Hair Tour. Learn more at MyTrueGirl.com.

Let’s get moving for our first episode of our twenty-third season, called, “Stop Trying to Fit In.”

True Girl Song:

I am, I am, I am a true girl.

Claire: Here’s Dannah. 

Dannah Gresh: Hey True Girl, it’s Dannah. I’m in the studio today, and I have something BIG to tell you.

Okay, picture this: last year, this podcast went from “Hey, that’s nice” to “Whoa! Where did all these girls come from?” Big! Like, if listeners were popcorn, they didn’t just pop . . . 

[popcorn popping]

. . . they exploded!

[fireworks boom!]

Let me explain. True Girl partners with Revive Our Hearts to make this podcast happen. (So grateful for my friends at Revive Our Hearts!) And I’m lookin’ at a report from Revive Our Hearts. Listen to this:

• Our total audience grew last year—it’s up 86%! (Hold on a minute and I’ll tell you what that means.) 
• Our NEW listener numbers were ginormous—! This number? It’s up 627%! That is so much growth!

What that basically means . . . a TON of brand-new girls found this podcast—way more than we expected. And when you add this podcast together with our podcasts for moms, more than 900,000 people listened last year. That’s almost a million human beings on planet Earth being filled up with God’s truth. 

Which means, why it matters: if you’re listening right now, congratulations—you’re officially part of something huge.

So, seriously—thank you for listening, thank you for coming back, and thank you for sharing True Girl with your friends. You helped make this happen.

And Mom, I’ve got to tell you, one thing that you can do is subscribe. When you subscribe it helps our podcast SO much to jump up in the feed. 

But more importantly, this is what I want you to know: you’re not alone! You’re part of a worldwide mass of girls just like you. Girls who want to know Jesus. Girls who want to understand their Bibles. Girls who want to live differently and to stand out and stand up for Jesus.

Speaking of those girls who stand out and stand up for Jesus, I want to introduce you to someone who is in the studio with me today: Lorelle Phillips.

Lorelle Phillips: Hey, Dannah. 

Dannah: Hey, Lorelle, I’m so glad you’re here.Lorelle is here at True Girl headquarters in State College, Pennsylvania, because we’re packing up the True Girl tour bus. Yep, it’s officially tour season. Lorelle, how excited are you about that?

Lorelle: I’m so excited!

Dannah: Lorelle is part of our new WONDER app teaching team—that’s our app for teen girls to read their Bibles. 

And . . . she’s on the teaching team for this season’s True Girl Crazy Hair Tour. She’s a returning tour member. She’s a second lead teacher. On that tour we’ll be inviting girls and moms in the audience to stand out and stand up for Jesus.

Lorelle, I’ve known you now for about a year, and I think you’re the kind of girl who stands out for Jesus. So you’re living what you’ll be teaching on the tour. That’s really important to us! 

Before we talk about all that, tell us three cool things about you.

Lorelle: Well . . .

First thing, my favorite ice cream is mint chocolate chip.

Dannah: No, way! Are you kidding? That is mine, my favorite ice cream. My second is black raspberry.

Lorelle: I like that one too!

Dannah: We would be a good ice cream date together.

Lorelle: That’s awesome. That sounds like a promise.

Next, a tween girl just taught me how to do a hand stand this year.

Dannah: Are you good at it?

Lorelle: Um, I guess you’ll have to be the judge of that.

Dannah: I’m going to need to see that.

Lorelle: Okay, I’ll prove it.

And, another one is, if there is music in the room, I’m dancing. 

Dannah: I already knew that about you because I have seen that in action.

Lorelle: It’s true.

Can I say a fourth thing?

Dannah: Go for it!

Lorelle: I love the True Girl Tour! Honestly, I’m so excited to get on the road again. It was so much fun to be on tour last year. If you’re listening, you have to come see the Crazy Hair Tour!

Dannah: That’s a sweet invitation, but I’ve got to tell that so some people that might be difficult. Lorelle, we have girls from 130 countries listening right now, like Australia! (Hey there, Down Under!) I wish I could say that with an accent, but I have no accent.

Lorelle: An Australian accent (spoken with an accent). Hey there, Dannah.

Dannah: Oh . . . you did it! I’m pretty impressed.

If you were from Australia, it would take you, like, thirteen hours just to fly to this country!

Lorelle: Mind blowing! 

Dannah: But even if you cannot join us on tour, you can still stand out and stand up for Jesus!

So I thought, Let’s take a taste of the tour to them in this season of the podcast! Of course, nothing can replace the experience of being in the room with girls and moms. But this season we’re going to bring you some of the great Bible teaching from the Crazy Hair Tour and some of the worship. 

Lorelle: I’m in!

Dannah: Lorelle, when Suzy Weibel (I think she’ll be on the podcast next week) and I first dreamed of and wrote the True Girl Crazy Hair Tour, it was because of a letter we got from a True Girl. Here it is. Can you read it?

Lorelle: Sure.

Dear True Girl, 

I’m twelve years old and very different from everyone else. No matter how hard I try to be normal, I don’t fit in. Sometimes I’m the target of mean girls because of it. I feel lonely. What can I do to be more like everyone else? 

Abby

Dannah: When I read that letter, it made me feel so sad.

Lorelle: I can see why!Did you write back?

Dannah: Of course! We always write back when True Girls write to us. We call it snail mail, and honestly, Lorelle, they draw a lot of snails on the snail mail. 

Lorelle: I never knew that.

Dannah: It’s slower than a DM. Have you ever heard it called snail mail?

Lorelle: I’ve heard it called snail mail, but I didn’t know there were snails on the mail.

Dannah: Well, in the True Girl world there are snails on the mail.

Anyway, I told Abby this: Stop trying to fit in! Normal is overrated!

Lorelle: Not gonna lie; pretty sure I saw that coming.

Dannah: Yeah, because you and I have been talking about this a lot lately during rehearsals. To get our hearts ready, we’ve been talking about that word “normal.”

Lorelle: Yeah. 

We’ve been talking about it so much, I looked it up, just to be sure I had the definition right. Here, I actually have it on my phone:

Normal: conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

In other words, it’s being what everyone else is or expects. Fitting in!

Dannah: Exactly. For example, let’s think of some ways that tween girls are tempted to fit in. Here’s one: you’ve probably noticed it’s normal for lots of girls to become obsessed with beauty, certain clothing brands and beauty products.

Lorelle: Clothes are not bad . . of course. But I can’t find anywhere in the Bible—and I’ve got mine right here—where it says girls are supposed to think about beauty and fashion 24/7.

Dannah: Exactly! Instead, I’m thinking of a verse right now that’s pretty fitting for this. Let me just open my Bible so I say this right.

We find verses that address that, like: 1 Peter 3, verse 3 and 4: 

Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes.

Of course, it’s not saying you can’t have beautiful clothes. It’s saying don’t be overly concerned and obsessed. It’s not saying you can’t wear jewelry or have a cute haircut. It’s saying don’t be concerned or overly obsessed 24/7 thinking about it. Then it goes on to say:

You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.

Lorelle: It’s also pretty normal—for girls of all ages, even moms—to have frenemies or to slide into being mean girls sometimes. 

Dannah: Guilty:( Been there.

But again, I can’t find a single place where God says that’s okay? Sometimes the world says, “You need to stand up for yourself. So of course you’ll be mean or distant or whatever. Does that Bible say that’s okay?

Lorelle: What we do find is Bible verses like Ephesians 4:32. It says: “Be kind to one another.”

Dannah: Oh . . . pretty simple at heart.

That’s a good one to have memorized! 

Ya know another “normal” thing? This one burdens me . . . and every mom is going to stand at attention: wanting space from your mom as you grow up.

Totally normal.

Lorelle: I did that. In fact, one survey found that 67 percent of girls ages eight to twelve said their mom should not be involved in their friendships at all. But—the Bible says we never grow so old or so independent that we don’t need wise people walking with us.

I have one, let me read Proverbs 13:20:

 He who walks with the wise grows wise.

That tells me that even though I’m in my twenties, and my mom is wise, it’s good to spend time with her and embrace her guidance!

Dannah: Yes, so glad you said that! I feel that way about my mom, too, and I’m a lot older than my twenties!

Lorelle: [giggle] Okay, let’s talk about this one. You’ve probably noticed it’s normal for girls to be obsessed with romantic relationships.

Dannah: Sometimes adults even encourage it. Have you ever had this happen? You’re at a birthday party or Christmas or at a family reunion and someone asks, “So, do you have a boyfriend?”

Lorelle: It’s kind of awkward. They think it’s funny. But what it’s really teaching is that you need a relationship like that to be whole.

Dannah: And we don’t need a romantic relationship to be complete, to be whole. I can’t find one place in the Bible that says girls are supposed to be boy crazy. But I can find in this book, the Bible, that says we’re supposed to be one thing: God crazy!

Lorelle: And it says it really clearly. We have a theme verse for the True Girl Crazy Hair Tour.

Dannah: And it’s the theme verse for this season’s podcast. We’re going to unpack a phrase of it each episode.

Lorelle: In fact, Dannah, I think we should read that—2 Corinthians 5:13–14.

If it seems we are crazy, it is to bring glory to God. And if we are in our right minds, it is for your benefit. Either way, Christ’s love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life.

Dannah: I love that verses. And, it starts out (and remember it’s a Christian writing these words to Christians). He’s writing, “If it seems we are crazy . . .” 

If you look at us and think, They aren’t very normal, the fact is, sometimes when we stand out and stand up for Jesus, it’s so different from the rest of the world that it looks a little crazy!

Lorelle: Yep. Like when you invite a girl who looks lonely to sit with you, even when others avoid her.

Dannah: That’s kindness. 

Another time we look crazy is when we choose kindness instead of laughing when someone is being made fun of.

Lorelle: Or, you tell the truth, even when lying would be easier.

Dannah: That’s a hard one! What about, I’ve seen girls turn down travel sports teams because games are on Sundays and their families prioritized going to church.

Lorelle: Or, when you say no to gossip and change the subject.

Dannah: That’s also really hard to do. I struggle to do that. Or, you pray about something instead of panicking.

Lorelle: Or, you speak up for what’s right, even when your voice shakes.

Dannah: These are good example. These things aren’t normal. They’ll even give people room to say, “She’s just crazy! She’s not gossiping with us because she’s crazy. She’s not . . . whatever . . . ” 

That’s what was happening to the apostle Paul when he wrote this Bible verse. People were saying that man is not in his right mind. But he was. He was totally intentionally living for Jesus so for that reason, he didn’t fit in. He didn’t act normal.

Let me just say it again: normal is overrated. 

These words in the Bible are our invitation to stand out and stand up for Jesus—even if that sometimes makes us look crazy!

Lorelle, the temptation to fit in is real. We’re not saying this is easy!

Lorelle: Yeah, in fact I remember being in high school and caring so much about my classmates' opinions that I would actually join in on making fun of the teacher when she was not in the room. 

Dannah: That’s really common. I think people make fun of their bosses. I think people make fun of their teachers, their coaches. Like, it’s in the air for us to be (let’s say what it is) rebellious of leadership. 

Lorelle: Everyone made fun of the teacher, and you’d be so different if you didn’t.

Dannah:  But you’re living your life different now! You’re a God-crazy girl! How did God help you see that normal is overrated, and you wanted to be a girl who stands and stands up for Jesus? How did God change you?

Lorelle: Well, it didn’t happen overnight. When I got into college, I realized that there were people who made fun of the professors (even now as adults!), but there were also those who didn’t. There were even classmates who told others to not make fun because that’s not what Jesus would do. That really inspired me, and I wanted to be like the ones who stood up for the right thing. As soon as you did the right thing, you were more like Jesus because Jesus never made fun of people but instead told us to love everyone. 

In fact, in the book of Matthew, Jesus tells us not to call people names (see Matt 5:22) and to treat others the way we would want to be treated (see Matt 7:12). It’s not easy, but I would never want someone to make fun of me—especially when I’m not in the room! 

Dannah: It’s happened to all of us, but it shouldn’t.

Lorelle: Honestly, sometimes I still am tempted to tease people and call them names even though I know it’s wrong—and I’m not in college now; I’m an adult! But this is hard for everyone.

Dannah: Yes, it it. 

Lorelle: I love Jesus so much, and I know He wouldn’t want me to do that. He’s the perfect example of how I can show love instead. So now when I am tempted, I ask Him for help. 

Dannah: That’s the key!

Lorelle: I’m also super thankful that I decided to make friends with those who stood up for Jesus.

Dannah: That’s important.

Lorelle: Very important! And now, we’ve been friends a long time, and we encourage each other all the time to always show love even when it’s hard. 

Dannah: I love that! You know, you said something important there. You asked Him for help.

Lorelle: Yeah. 

Dannah: Nobody's courageous for Jesus without Jesus helping them, like nobody. You think of the most courageous person that's ever stood up and stood out for Jesus, Jesus was the one that enabled that to happen. It's not them. 

And so I think a good way to end our podcast today would be for us to pray for you. We want to pray for you, pray for you to be a God-crazy girl, and pray for you to accept the fact that being normal and fitting in is way overrated. The fruit in your life, the good things that happen in your life by standing up for Jesus are going to be so much better than if you choose to just go along with the empty-headed, mindless crowd. So let me pray for you to have Jesus help you. 

Lord God, I thank You so much for all the True Girl listeners that You've entrusted to us. Thanks for them and their lives and their moms. Thanks that they want to follow You, Lord. But it's hard, like Laurel said, we are tempted so often to go along with the crowd, to do what's normal, and making fun of people—that's just one of the things. 

I pray if there's a girl listening who's feeling some conviction, that feels a little bit of guilt about something that she's been doing, where she sort of is going along with the crowd, that You would help her to know she's forgiven when she asks You for forgiveness, and that You would help her to make choices that are more like Jesus. In the mighty name of Christ, I pray. Amen.

Claire: Amen. Wow, I don't know about you, but that made me want to stand out and stand up for Jesus just a little bit more. When the world tries to tell you who to be, remember, normal is overrated. 

If you need more courage to stand out and stand up for Jesus, I think you'd enjoy coming to one of our live events. The True Girl Crazy Hair Tour features live worship with worship leaders like Yancy and Casey Ray Brown, and Bible teaching from women like Dannah Gresh, Suzy Weibel, and Lorelle Phillips. Each city features a different but powerful lineup of these God-crazy women. 

The True Girl Crazy Hair Tour will invite you to stand strong in your faith, embrace the way God uniquely designed you, and live boldly for Jesus. Your mom can get tickets by visiting MyTrueGirl.com. That's where she'll find other resources for you to enjoy together—our True Girl subscription box is one of them. Every sixty days we ship mom / daughter discipleship tools right to your door. It's all at MyTrueGirl.com. 

Well, next time we're going to address the question, “Why do we stand out and stand up for Jesus?” You'll hear about a young girl in the Bible who's not mentioned very much, but who had God-crazy faith. I hope you'll join us for that. 

Today, we want to end with a song that starts every True Girl Crazy Hair Tour. It declares clearly that we want to embrace being different, our own originality. This is “It's Great to Be a Girl,” from the Crazy for Jesus album by True Girl. We hope you'll sing it and believe it. 

We can dance.
We play sports.
No one of us is the same for sure.
Different colors, different shapes,
God made us all the perfect way.

We know, we know with God, we can do anything.
We own, we own our own originality.
We're on the same team. We're all amazing.
Let me hear you sing.

It's great to be a girl;
United around the world.
I know that we're in it together.
Voices love.
We're gonna sing it forever
That it’s great to be a girl.

Girls, unite.
Let's lean on each other and shine our light.
You and I.
Yeah, let's make it louder, a little bit louder.

It's great to be a girl;
United around the world.
I know that we're in it together.
Voices love.
We're gonna sing it forever
That it’s great to be a girl.
That it’s great to be a girl.

True Girl is a production and Revive Our Hearts, calling women of all ages to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

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