Takeaways 11–20

Dannah Gresh: In ministry as in life, we need the right perspective. Here’s Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Keeping our eyes fixed on eternity will sustain us through the trials here on earth. When we’re weary, when we’re discouraged, keeping our eyes fixed on eternity will keep us from dropping out of the race as we remember that it’s not about us. We’re merely servants who have been entrusted with a sacred stewardship.

Dannah: Nancy shares takeaways from twenty years of ministry today on the Revive Our Hearts podcast. It’s December 28, 2021, and I’m Dannah Gresh.

Nancy: Well, as I think back on yesterday's session, we had some tears flowing down the cheeks of women in the room as we talked about Paul’s teaching in 2 Corinthians on hardship, on affliction, on ministry, on the grace of God. I didn’t mean to make anybody cry, but we have hard places in our lives. We have hurting places, painful places in our lives. And some here shared out of their own journey.

I love how God takes His Word and ministers it as a balm—that’s b-a-l-m—to our hurting and wounded hearts. He then makes us even more effective ministers of the gospel as a result of what we’ve walked through.

In these two days, yesterday and today, we’re looking at the book of 2 Corinthians. I’ve pulled twenty takeaways from that book. There could have been way more than that, but I chose twenty that really spoke to me as I think about the last twenty years of Revive Our Hearts’ ministry.

But these are points that apply not just to Revive Our Hearts and the ministry we have here, though I’m delighted we have some of our team, Revive Our Hearts’ staff here in the room with us today. But wherever you’re serving the Lord—as a mom, as a grandmom, as a wife, as a widow, as a single mom, in the workplace, in your local church’ wherever God has called you to serve Him, I hope these takeaways will be encouraging to you.

If you missed yesterday, go back to ReviveOurHearts.com and you can get the transcript, you can get the list of the first ten takeaways on ministry from the book of 2 Corinthians.

So, Lord, as we look at these last ten principles from 2 Corinthians, we’re going to move through them quickly, but I pray that they’d be an encouragement, a means of grace, in the hearts of those here in this room and the hearts of those listening to podcast or broadcast in this week after Christmas. We love You and thank You for the beauty and the wonder of Your Word and the message that You’ve entrusted to us as Your servants, and we pray in Jesus’ name, amen.

Here’s number eleven (again, the first ten were yesterday). These are takeaways from the book of 2 Corinthians. Paul says throughout the book of 2 Corinthians that motive and methods matter. As we serve the Lord, our motives matter, why we do what we do, and the method matters, how we do what we do.

Let me read to you a few verses.

First from chapter 2 of 2 Corinthians: 

For we do not market the word of God for profit like so many. On the contrary, we speak with sincerity in Christ, as from God and before God. (v. 17)

Then he says in chapter 4: 

We have renounced secret and shameful things, not acting deceitfully or distorting the word of God, but commending ourselves before God to everyone’s conscience by an open display of the truth. (v. 3)

Now, there’s a lot packed in those veres, but let me just boil it down to this: Paul refused to use underhanded or dishonest means to reach people. He never altered the message in order to make it more palatable to his listeners, because Paul’s goal was not to build a following or to cater to the crowd. His goal was to please the one who had sent him to preach the gospel.

So our message, wherever we’re serving the Lord, in whatever kinds of responsibilities or roles, our mission is to declare the truth of the gospel, not for personal gain, but with sincere hearts, with integrity for the good of others as those who have been sent by God, who stand before God, and who will give account to God. Our motives matter, and our methods matter.

I’m so thankful to serve as part of this ministry here at Revive Our Hearts where, in every area of the ministry, we really seek to have integrity in the way we handle administration and the way we handle funds. I see some people from our data entry and our financial processing department here today. I love the way that you all serve the Lord with faithfulness, with honesty, with clarity of heart and purpose. I love that you do it. Nobody is getting rich here. You’re not doing it for personal gain. You’re doing it because you love the Lord, and you love the message, and you love serving Him in the role He’s given to you.

And that should be our goal no matter where we serve Him in ministry. Methods and motives matter.

Number twelve, we are called to bless and build up those we serve.

Listen to a few verses from 2 Corinthians. In chapter 7:2, Paul says, 

We have wronged no one, corrupted no one, taken advantage of no one. 

He says in chapter 12, 

I will most gladly spend and be spent for you. (v. 15)

Then he says in verse 19, 

Everything, dear friends, is for building you up. 

In chapter 13 he talks about “the authority that the Lord gave me for building up and not for tearing down.” (v. 10)

What’s the principle here? We are called to bless and build up those we serve. Paul refused to manipulate those he was ministering to. He refused to use them for his personal agenda. He desired their gain, not his gain, so he was willing to be poured out and to give everything he had for their sakes.

Paul never abused the authority God had given him as an apostle, as a preacher of the gospel, by tearing others down. Everything he did was for the purpose of building them up.

That’s the heart of a true servant of God. That’s the heart we want to have here at Revive Our Hearts. That’s the heart I want you to have wherever you’re serving the Lord. It’s a heart to bear the burdens of others rather than place burdens on them, to be a giver rather than a taker, to be poured out and used up for the sake of Christ and those we serve, to build up rather than tearing others down. 

Boasting about ourselves or our ministry, bullying or berating those we serve, arrogance, abusive behavior—sadly, these are too common in the Christian ministry world, but they should have no place in gospel ministry. How much damage is done to the cause of Christ and His Church by proud, self-exalting leaders at every level who wield their position and their “power” to control others and to build their own brands or their own kingdoms? How much healthier, how much more effective would our churches be today if each one of us, wherever we’re serving the Lord, sought to build up, encourage, and bless other believers? We’re givers, not takers, wherever the Lord has placed us. We’re called to bless and build up those we serve.

Here’s number thirteen, we can’t give up on immature or sinning believers. Now, there are immature believers, and there are sinning believers, and it’s really tempting sometimes to give up on them. “Enough with you!” 

In Corinth, as Paul was writing to the believers in that day, there were some tensions. We’re not given all the details of what they involved, but we know there was a man who had opposed Paul. We know that there was a previous confrontation that apparently had not gone very well, and we know that this whole situation was extremely, excruciatingly difficult for Paul. But he didn’t write off these believers, immature and sinning as they were at times. He didn’t allow the difficulties to drive a wedge between him and them. He still loved them dearly, and he cared for their well-being, and that’s why he wrote this letter.

Paul called the believers in Corinth saints, even though they didn’t always act like saints. He called them “my children” in chapter 6:13. In chapter 7 he called them “dear friends,” and in chapter 8 he called them “my brothers and sisters.” He loved them, even though they were a pain in the neck at times.

At the same time, he didn’t ignore the issues or brush them under the carpet. He was honest with them about his concerns. Paul didn’t care as much about them loving him as he did about loving them and God well. Paul was heartbroken by the sin of this particular divisive man, what the division had cost in the church, and about the broken relationship it had caused between him and some of these believers. In fact, he says in chapter 2:4, “I wrote to you with many tears out of an extremely troubled and anguished heart.”

Can you feel some of what Paul was feeling? They made his life miserable! He was brokenhearted; he was torn up. He wrote with many tears. But he refused to shut out those who disagreed with him.

In fact, in chapter 12 of 2 Corinthians he said, “Look! I am ready to come to you this third time.” (v. 14) I’m not sure I’d want to go visit these people again. This is like going to spend the holidays with a family member who just keeps messing up your life, messing with your mind, and you’re going, “Well, be that way, but I don’t think I’m coming back this Christmas.”

Paul had a long history with the Corinthians, and their problems were not solved in one visit or one letter. So he reached out to them again and again. Does that sound like the way God handles us when we’re immature and sinning? Paul longed for them to be restored to the Lord and for this broken relationship to be healed.

What a great example this is for us, in our day, where you see so many contentious exchanges between believers. A lot of this happens on social media. Oh my goodness! It’s so bad, because it’s so easy for us to cut off and cancel those with whom we disagree—those who criticize us, those who make our lives miserable. 

We have people sometimes who write to this ministry, and some of you as part of the process see some of these emails and letters that will come in, or things somebody will post on social media, and they tear us apart! One of the things I’ve always said to our behind-the-scenes staff who are handling these letters and responses is, “Thank them for writing.” Your critics can become your best friends if you take time to humble yourself, to respond graciously, to say, “Is there any kernel of truth in this?” Even if they’re just being malicious, be humble. Thank them for writing.

The way of the Spirit is not to write these people off, but it’s to lean in, to draw near, to seek to reconcile and restore these people; to be humble rather than vindictive when differences arise; to pursue oneness rather than putting up walls and fences between us and other people. This is the heart of Christ, and this is what should be our heart toward those that we serve. We cannot give up on immature or sinning believers.

Now, that said, let me mention number fourteen of our takeaways here. Sometimes we have to hurt people in order to help them. 

You see this repeatedly in 2 Corinthians. If you’re a parent, you get this. Listen to some of these words from Paul in 2 Corinthians 7. 

For even if I grieved you with my letter [this is a previous letter], I do not regret it. And if I regretted it—since I saw that the letter grieved you, yet only for a while—I now rejoice, not because you were grieved, but because your grief led to repentance. (vv. 7–9)

In chapter 13 he says, “I gave a warning when I was present the second time, and now I give a warning while I am absent to those who sinned before and to all the rest: If I come again, I will not be lenient.” (v. 2)

Paul’s not writing them off, but he’s speaking the truth. He’s not brushing these issues under the carpet. Sometimes the only way to comfort and bless people is to make them uncomfortable, knowing that when God finally grants them genuine sorrow and repentance over their sin, they will experience His true comfort.

Paul didn’t shrink back from wounding these believers when necessary, wounding them by pointing them to the truth. He didn’t shirk his duty to point out their sin. He didn’t relish doing this, and sometimes I think that’s what’s wrong when I see all these people making corrections of other people on social media. I think sometimes, I agree with your point, but the way you’re doing is totally arrogant. It’s wrong. It’s as if you get some great joy out of cutting other people down. No, we should be humble and tearful when we have to correct others who have fallen in their sin.

Yes, this was painful for Paul and for those in Corinth, but the pain gave way to joy for them and for him when they received the discipline and they finally repented. Remember, as we serve the Lord and others, sometimes we have to hurt people in order to help them, but we don’t get joy out of hurting them, we get joy out of God working in their lives to restore them.

Number fifteen, ministry is not a solo effort. Boy, am I aware of this as I think back on twenty years of Revive Our Hearts ministry! We are not self-sufficient—none of us. No matter how talented, no matter how gifted, no matter how called by God, we are not intended and we are not able to carry the burdens of ministry alone. 

I see this in 2 Corinthians. Look at 2:12. Paul says, 

When I came to Troas to preach the gospel of Christ, I had no rest in my spirit, because I did not find my brother Titus. Instead, I said goodbye to them and left for Macedonia.

Then in chapter 7 he says, 

When we came into Macedonia, we had no rest. Instead, we were troubled in every way: conflicts on the outside, fears within. [This is the apostle Paul!] But God, who comforts the downcast, comforted us by the arrival of Titus. (v. 6)

Who’s this Titus guy? He’s a companion in ministry, and a really important one. He’ll never be as famous as the apostle Paul, but the apostle Paul said, “I can’t do this without him here.”

We are needy people. We are not self-sufficient. Sometimes we get discouraged. We are weak. We get heavy-hearted. We never get beyond our need for the companionship and aid of the Comforter, the Holy Spirit; and we never get to the place where we don’t need the support and encouragement we receive from those who come alongside us in ministry.

How deeply grateful I am for the men and women that God has placed around me in this ministry over all these years! When we started, our team was just tiny—just a handful of us. I go back and look at those pictures, and I think, Oh, we look so young! We were so young. We were few. But as the ministry grew, God drew others. Some of you sitting in this room serve in various ways in the ministry behind the scenes. Mostly, you don’t get your name on the things that go out from the ministry, but we couldn’t be doing what we’re doing without you. 

I remember when God brought people in administrative capacities. I was restless, because I felt the burden and the weight of business and finance areas that I didn’t know how to manage. Then God sent some of you and others to our team. We now have—what?—150 us, spread all around the world, all with different gifts, different callings. Your prayers, your encouragement, your labors in areas where you have gifts and strengths, the support provided by this team as well as our advisory board and friends like you listening to this conversation today, what a huge gift you have been in my life, and I want to say “thank you.” This is not and never has been Nancy Leigh DeMoss or Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth ministries.

Let me say, by the way, how thankful I am that the Lord brought my sweet husband to be a part of my life and this team. Honey, you’re sitting in the room today, and I love you. I can’t thank the Lord enough for the way you help to lift the burdens that God has put on me in this ministry.

But people know who Robert Wolgemuth is; they may not know your name, but I want to say “thank you.” I need you. We need you. Somebody listening who has prayed and encouraged and supported this ministry, “thank you.” It means so much. We are not a solo effort.

That leads to this next takeaway from 2 Corinthians, as it relates to my reflecting on twenty years of Revive Our Hearts: generous givers are crucial to the success of gospel ministry. We have some in the room who work in the department where you open the mail, and you process the donations that come into the ministry, and you get this, don’t you? I’m thankful for our Monthly Partners who support this ministry—$30 a month, some of them. Some widows and some single moms and people living on a limited income, and others who are able to give more and do give more. Generous givers are crucial to the success of gospel ministry.

You say, “Where’d you get that in 2 Corinthians?” It’s all over! Paul talks in 2 Corinthians 8–9, two of the greatest biblical chapters having to do with generous giving. It’s just amazing as he talks about what generous giving will do for you and through you in gospel ministry. But then in chapter 11 Paul says, 

When I was present with you and in need, I did not burden anyone, since the brothers who came from Macedonia supplied my needs. (v. 9)

We’ve been able to do this ministry for twenty years because of Monthly Partners, because of people who give all through the year. I’m so thankful for those friends of the ministry who have provided this $1.4 million dollar matching challenge that we’re trusting the Lord to meet here during the month of December. I’m thankful for the thousands who’ve already given thus far this month to help us meet that challenge. Here we are in the last week; most of what comes in in December comes in in the last week of December. I don’t know how close or far we are from meeting that goal, but I thank the Lord for every person who’s had a part in that.

I thank the Lord for those who are still praying about and thinking about what they might give here at year end. I just want to say to you as a giver, if you’ve ever supported this ministry, if you’ve supported it this month, generous givers like you are crucial to the success of gospel ministry. We’re never more like Jesus than when we’re giving. He’s the ultimate Donor. He’s our Donor with a capital D! He’s the one we look to here at year end. But He uses people like you and me to give to help support ministries like this one.

Number seventeen, changed lives are the fruit and the reward of our labors. The effectiveness and success of our ministry—wherever you serve the Lord here at Revive Our Hearts—is not measured in statistics, how many donations we get in, operations, the broadcast, the resources we’ve produced, or the events we’ve pulled off. That’s not what measures our success. It’s about the glory of God and the people whose lives have been and are being transformed by the power of His grace and the ministry of His Word. So Paul said in 2 Corinthians 3, 

You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone. You show that you are Christ’s letter, delivered by us, not written with ink, but with the Spirit of the living God—not on tablets of stone, but on tablets of human hearts. (vv. 2–3)

I’m so deeply grateful for the testimonies, the changed lives, the emails we receive day after day, the people I meet all around the world, sharing how God has used this ministry in their lives. That’s our reward. That’s our blessing. That’s the fruit of our labors. So thank You, Lord, for those whose lives You’re changing—not because we’re anything, but because the message of the gospel is so powerful and life-giving.

Number eighteen, we must remain unswervingly focused on our ultimate goal. Wherever the Lord has us serving Him, we need to remember what’s our goal. Let me read what Paul wrote. 

Everything is for your benefit, so that as grace extends through more and more people it may cause thanksgiving to increase, to the glory of God. (4:15)

That’s the end result. He says in chapter 5, 

Therefore, whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to be pleasing to him. (v. 9)

Paul wasn’t looking for human affirmation or approval. He refused to commend himself or his own ministry. All that mattered to him was that God would be pleased with the work he did, and that God would receive the glory through those who received the grace of God. So let’s stay focused on what matters and what is our ultimate goal. Let’s not get distracted. Our goal is to please Him and for God to get all the glory.

Number nineteen (just two more here), we will each give account for our lives and our service. Paul says in chapter 5, 

We must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each, may be repaid for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil. (v. 10) 

Paul wasn’t living for human praise or results in the here and now, but for what would come to light in the day of Christ’s return. He sought only to please Christ, regardless of what that required or how others responded.

Then number twenty, the takeaway from 2 Corinthians for our ministry here at Revive Our Hearts and for yours wherever you serve Him, giving up is not an option. Chapter 4, verse 1: 

Since we have this ministry, because we were shown mercy, we do not give up. 

Then the end of that chapter, verse 16:

Therefore, we do not give up. 

We do not give up. Paul experienced rejection, abuse, hardship throughout the whole course of his earthly ministry, but none of that could persuade him to water down his message, to turn his back on Christ, or to seek a softer, simpler calling. Day by day, year after year, in city after city, he stayed the course. He endured the pain, and he persevered in carrying out his calling—which was what? To lift up the name and the gospel of Jesus.

Keeping our eyes fixed on eternity will sustain us through the trials here on earth. When we’re weary, when we’re discouraged—and it happens to me, it happens to you—keeping our eyes fixed on eternity will keep us from dropping out of the race. It will help us press on by grace and in hope, as we remember that it’s not about us. We’re merely servants who’ve been entrusted with a sacred stewardship.

Dannah: Some powerful reminders from 2 Corinthians. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth shared those takeaways as she reflected on the now more than twenty years of this ministry we call Revive Our Hearts. She’ll be right back with more in just a moment.

If you’d like to review the twenty takeaways she mentioned yesterday and today, they’re easy to download for free at our website. Head over to ReviveOurHearts.com and find the podcast season “20 Takeaways on 20 Years of Ministry (2 Corinthians).” Click on today’s episode, and there in the transcript you’ll find a link to the downloadable PDF of Nancy’s twenty takeaways.

Nancy also mentioned the fact that time is running out on our December matching challenge. All the details are on our website, ReviveOurHearts.com, but if you’d prefer to call us, our number is 1–800–569–5959. And as long as your snail mail letter is postmarked by this Friday, you can also donate via the good old United States Postal Service. Our mailing address is P.O. Box 2000, Niles, Michigan, and the zip code is 49120. Thanks so much for lifting us up in prayer and for your financial support as we end this year. 

Tomorrow and the rest of this week Nancy takes us to the closing verses of Paul’s second letter to the Corinthians. She’ll be sharing a blessing for the close of this year. You’re not going to want to miss it. Now, here’s Nancy.

Nancy: I want to leave you with two quotes that have been a huge blessing to me and have helped me keep persevering in ministry over the years. One is something I read—we don’t know who the author is—an anonymous piece I read years ago, but I pull it up from time to time, and it always encourages me. I think it will encourage you as well. This writer said, 

Ministry is giving when you feel like keeping, it’s praying for others when you need to be prayed for, it’s feeding others when your own soul is hungry. Ministry is living truth before people, even when you can’t see results. It’s hurting with other people even when your own hurt can’t be spoken. Ministry is keeping your word even when it’s not convenient, and ministry is being faithful when your flesh wants to run away. Giving up is not an option.

Then, let me leave you with this hymn from Charles Wesley. It’s not a really familiar hymn, but it’s one that has ministered to me. It’s kind of my hymn over many years as I think about my calling in this life and over twenty years of serving the Lord in this ministry. Charles Wesley said it this way:

A charge to keep I have,
A God to glorify,
A never-dying soul to save,
And fit it for the sky.

To serve the present age
My calling to fulfill;
O may it all my powers engage,
To do my Master’s will.

Arm me with watchful care
As in Thy sight to live;
And now Thy servant, Lord, prepare
A strict account to give.

Help me to watch and pray
And still on Thee rely.
O let me not my trust betray,
But press to realms on high.

Amen.

Thank You, Lord, for the calling to serve You and others. Thank You for Your Word that gives us the encouragement and the battle plan and the wisdom and the help and the hope that we need as we persevere in this calling.

I pray for some in this room, or those listening to this podcast or broadcast, who may be ready to give up. Would You encourage my sisters (and any brothers who may be listening)? Oh Lord, give us grace to fulfill that calling that You have entrusted to us, to keep our eyes on the finish line. Thank You that You have been faithful to serve us, Lord Jesus, and give us grace to be faithful to serve You. I pray in Jesus’ name, amen.

Dannah: Amen. That’s our host, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. 

After she finished, we kept recording, and we captured these comments and questions from some in our studio audience. Because you’re a valued podcast listener, you get to hear it now. Let’s listen.

Nancy: Okay, anything from what you just heard here in the room that you’d want to share or respond to or illustrate?

Yesi: The one that really resonated was when you mentioned ministry is not a job. That is one of my prayers since I’ve started working at Revive Our Hearts. Since I come from a small corporate mentality, I’ve asked Him to constantly just keep that at the back of my head: “This is not a job. This is more of me serving You and just letting go of me,” and to change that perspective, and not bring it in. It could easily be brought in, because if you’ve worked in it for so many years and you’re kind of doing the same thing or the same job description, it could easily crawl up on you. Not that it has, but that’s been my prayer and constant begging Him and surrendering that to Him.

Another thing that you mentioned is the changed lives. My mom has been a faithful listener of Aviva Nuestros Corazones . . .

Nancy: The Spanish version of Revive Our Hearts.

Yesi: I’ve seen her life transformed and changed in so many ways. She’s been able also to humble herself to the new way, new life of her and her husband, and how comforted she is when they’re talking about a specific topic regarding being married to an unbeliever. I believe in the Spanish version there were just programs where you talked about that. She actually talked to me this weekend about it, and she was very encouraged. She was crying. It was really, really powerful. So that also reminded me of her. I just wanted to say thank you for being faithful.

Nancy: Wow, thank you for sharing that. Only eternity will reveal all the lives, all the hearts. We get to hear from some of them, and that’s always a blessing, but in heaven, how many are we going to hear? Whatever our little role was in serving Him, how God used that to change and transform lives.

Let me just say that even if your job is in a secular or corporate environment, that’s still ministry. I know you know that, but I’m thinking about Colossians 3, where the apostle Paul says, 

Don’t work only while being watched, as people-pleasers, work wholeheartedly, fearing the Lord. Whatever you do [whatever your job is], do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people, knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ. (vv. 22–24)

We have a lot of listeners who are saying, “I’d love to have a chance to serve in a ministry.” You are serving in a ministry! That ministry may be in your home, it may be in a bank, it may be in a school, it may be in a hospital, it may be in any kind of work, but you serve the Lord Christ. The things we’ve been talking about in many ways have application to wherever you are serving the Lord. That’s where God wants to use you to be an instrument of God’s grace in the lives of others. So don’t diminish the importance, the significance of where God has you working, serving Him. That is a ministry.

Michelle: I have a follow-up question for you, on not giving up on immature believers or sinning believers. How long? There are some of us who are in ministry, whether in corporate America or in ministry in the church, that are dealing with immature believers, and it’s hard to know how long? Or is it just as long as they’re in our lives?

Nancy: Yes, that’s an important question, because Paul sometimes said, “I’m done,” because people had cut themselves off from God’s grace and refused to hear and refused to repent. So there are situations where he said, “I’m parting ways. We’re going to part ways.”

But with the apostle Paul and with Christ with us, I think the answer is usually that we’re called to be forbearing and longsuffering longer than we think we want to or than we think we need to. Again, this isn’t necessarily applied to every situation, but I think our natural impulse is to give up too soon and to give up for the wrong reasons. It’s one thing when the person has stepped outside of the bounds of Scripture. Paul says there are sometimes when you treat a professing believer as if they were a nonbeliever, and you cut off fellowship from them. But what is the reason? It’s not because they’re making my life miserable, it’s because you want to see them brought to a place of repentance and restoration.

Even church discipline, cutting them off from the fellowship of the body, which is the most severe or extreme type of separation from these sinning or immature believers, even that is not so it will make our lives easier, it’s with the goal of seeing restoration. God is abounding in mercy. How often does He forgive us? How often does He press on with us? How often is He faithful to us when we are not faithful to Him? 

That’s the standard, and that’s why we need the Scripture to go to, to tell us, “Has this person sinned in such a way that I’m enabling them to keep sinning if I stay engaged in their life?” Then we’re not doing them any favor, we’re not loving them well. But we need a lot of wisdom, and when we break it off, it’s not because we say, “I’ve had it. I can’t take anymore from this person,” or “This person is more than I can handle.” Yes, they may be, but they’re not more than God can handle. But if it’s a person who’s contentious, who is being divisive in the body of Christ, there are times when the Scripture says, “No more.” Yet it’s with the prayer and with the hope that in time they will miss the fellowship of God’s people and they will be humbled and repentant and want to be restored. I think it varies from situation to situation. 

That’s also where we need the wisdom and the leadership of spiritual leaders in our churches—elders, pastors, shepherds. We’re not vigilantes; we’re not just out there on our own saying, “Okay, you sinned in this way, and I’m cutting you off.” This is what people do on social media a lot. It’s wrong. God doesn’t hold me responsible for what somebody who’s tweeting out there is saying, and for me to ride in on my high horse and cut that person off. That’s not my calling; that’s not my job.

Now, I will speak for truth. I will defend the truth. But each person stands or falls to his own master, Paul said in Romans 14. That person needs to be under the authority and the discipline, if necessary, of local church leadership. We’re kind of missing that today. Some of these people are in our lives or they’re in our churches, but let’s not just go out on our own and say, “I’m cutting this person off. I’ve had enough.” Let’s do it with humility, with a breaking heart, with tears rather than, “Wash my hands of that person!” Then with the wisdom and counsel of those who are spiritually responsible for their spiritual well-being—elders. This is why we need the local church. It’s why we’re not to be out there on our own figuring this out, because there’s not a “one size fits all” answer to that question.

We may feel like, “I can’t take this person,” maybe it’s a relative, maybe it’s a coworker, maybe it’s a former friend or whatever, somebody that’s in our sphere, where you say, “I can’t do it.” Well, maybe God wants you to stay engaged, and maybe God wants you to say, “No, this isn’t helpful to you, and it’s not helpful to the ongoing work of the gospel.” I’d hesitate to make that decision on my own without the wisdom and input of godly spiritual leaders who are familiar with the situation and have a responsibility there.

This is one reason that when people write us here at Revive Our Hearts and they pour out their hearts, which we’re glad they do write, but they share about this circumstance or situation they’re dealing with. We try to encourage them as best we can, but we’re not doing life with them. We’re not in that church; we’re not in that geographic vicinity, and our counsel is really limited. We’re not in that situation, which is why we do what we do. We tend to send them back to their local church, to wise older women in their church, to elders or spiritual leaders or pastors. 

You don’t say, “I don’t have a church,” or “My church doesn’t operate that way.” It’s a good reason to have a church, or to get into one that does operate that way, if at all possible, because the leaders there will have a better sense than we possibly can here at Revive Our Hearts about what might be the best way to handle that situation.

Reminding you it’s not about us, Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is calling you to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

All Scripture is taken from the CSB.

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