Crossing the Finish Line

Dannah Gresh: Robert Wolgemuth wanted to help people think purposefully about the end of their lives.

Robert Wolgemuth: So picture us at your favorite coffee hangout. Let’s talk about something you probably don’t want to talk about. Ready? You’re going to die. Someday your heart will squeeze its last squeeze. You’ll close your eyes and that will be all . . . and I’m gonna die too.

Dannah: Robert wanted to help people prepare for eternity, so he wrote a book called Finish Line.

Robert: The inspiration for Finish Line was watching my wife of almost forty-five years slowly step into heaven. She was a warrior—a brave soldier. And because of the way she died, my own fear of facing my own death literally went away. It really did. I believe the same could happen to you.

Dannah: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, co-author of You Can Trust God to Write Your Story. I’m Dannah Gresh.

Well, friend, I have to begin with heartbreaking news. Our friend Nancy’s husband, Robert Wolgemuth, has gone home to be with the Lord. He went into the hospital on Christmas Eve, 2025. 

Nancy told friends that Psalm 118:24 was on her heart that day. It says, “This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Nancy did continue to rejoice in the Lord through the ups and downs of Robert’s treatment. She continued to sign her texts with the phrase you’ve heard her say many times: “Heaven Rules.” 

Robert was married to Bobbie Wolgemuth for forty-four years. They had two daughters, Missy and Julie. Robert married Nancy Leigh DeMoss in 2015.

To learn more and watch a video about Robert and Nancy’s courtship and beautiful marriage, you can visit ReviveOurHearts.com. We’ll have a link to that video in the transcript of this program.

I’m sure we will have more tributes for Robert in upcoming days. But as we are still reeling from the news, we’re going to remember Robert by airing an interview I conducted with him in 2023. He had just released a book to help readers prepare to enter eternity. The book is called Finish Line: Dispelling Fear, Finding Peace, Preparing for the Rest of Your Life. I began by asking Robert why he wanted to write a book about death.

Robert: I wrote a book a couple years ago called, Gun Lap, which is about the final lap around the track on a long-distance race. So actually, when the lead runner starts the final lap, the starter fires his pistol again, and they call that the gun lap. Some races they do a bell; it’s called the bell lap.

Gun Lap was not about death. It was about doing well on your final lap. It was intended to be an encouragement to guys my age. It talked about the unique struggles that men like me face during this season. Our bodies are failing us. Our relationships are changing. And so, the Gun Lap book did very well.

I wanted to write the sequel to it because the gun lap is good, but you have to hit the finish line. The end is that long, final straight away when you actually cross the line and break the tape.

So, as you know, I’ve had direct personal experience with death, and so I wanted to tell that story in detail. I wanted to encourage readers as they face their own death. I mean, as you know, death is 100 percent. All of us are going to die—unless Christ returns, or we can be like Enoch or be swept away on a chariot like Elijah. Though that’d be cool.

Dannah: Yeah.

Robert: So, I was married to Bobbie for almost forty-five years. We were married in 1970. We were children. I was twenty-two, and she was twenty.

In February of 2012—thirty months before Bobbie’s death into heaven—we went to a doctor’s office, an appointment with an oncologist. We had never been to an oncologist before because oncologists deal with cancer, and we were all cancer free. There was nothing in our history or even in our friendships, our relationships, our family that had cancer attached to it.

But we went to this clinic in Orlando. We sat down with a highly respected oncologist. Then we walked out of the room with the news that Bobbie had Stage 4 ovarian cancer. Ovarian cancer is very stealthy—unlike other forms of cancers that women deal with, like breast cancer. This one really sneaks up. It’s a very secret disease.

So this was her first appointment, and she was already Stage 4. I’ll never forget, Dannah, walking into the waiting room. I was with our younger daughter, Julie. The elevator door opened, and in this room are probably forty women. Many of them are sitting there with men, their husbands, and everybody was bald. My wife Bobbie had this amazing mane of hair. I’m looking at those people and saying, “Well, here we go. My life is about to dramatically change.”

So the book opens with the story of Bobbie’s funeral that was in early November 2014. She died in late October. What I say about not just the funeral, but about Bobbie, was that the way she handled this, her own imminent death. She removed from my heart any fear of dying. The way she handled all the treatments that she went through, the horrendous stuff, she never complained.

When I tell people that, they go, “Yeah, right. Come on. Like, never?”

I’m going to tell you, between us and God as our witness, she never complained.

She went through a clinical trial that rendered her totally in pain, uncomfortable. It was the middle of summer, and she’s in bed with a knit cap and blankets all over because she’s freezing to death. But she never complained. She showed me and her friends how to do this with grace.

So I wanted to put in writing what Bobbie did that was amazing, but also to encourage myself as the writer but then the reader that this is something we can do. We can face this with grace. We can face this with confidence. The Lord knows what He’s doing.

In fact, when Bobbie was diagnosed, my daughters and I, the very afternoon we got the news, we decided: this was a surprise to us, but it wasn’t a surprise to God. He knows exactly what He’s doing. We’re not afraid. We’re not angry. We’re treating this as a gift, which, by definition, a gift is something you don’t expect or deserve. Right? So this is a gift.

The last thing we committed to each other was: our goal is to make this experience a witness for Christ, to introduce people who don’t know Jesus to the Savior, and for us to be able to express the gospel to them through this amazing adventure. And the Lord answered that prayer—sweetly.

We didn’t really pray for Bobbie’s healing because, sometimes that feels presumptuous, like we know what God’s will is. I mean, we wanted her well. We didn’t like this. We hated cancer. I still do. But we wanted that to be really up to the Lord. We trusted either way—healing or death—that He would have His way, and He would know what’s best for us as a family.

So, in the process of all these treatments, we didn’t use CaringBridge. Actually, CaringBridge was really beginning to get up and running. It’s an amazing ministry. But I sent out emails to friends and just gave them updates. It wasn’t a lot of medical stuff. It was just what the Lord is teaching us through this process. The response from those people was incredible.

And kind of as a side bar, as you know, one of the recipients of those emails was a client of mine who I helped with her publishing. It was Nancy Leigh DeMoss. And actually, Nancy livestreamed the funeral and emailed me right after and said, “I’d love to broadcast some of this on Revive Our Hearts.” So way, way back, Nancy broadcasted some of Bobbie’s funeral service on Revive Our Hearts. And who would ever have known that a year later I would invite this lady to be my wife?

So, God’s providence, His leading, is almost too overwhelming to describe. It’s not easy always. It’s not painless always. But it’s always good.

So here’s this lady, fifty-seven years old, never married. I knew her as her agent. I knew her professionally. But the Lord has been so good. And you and Bob are such close friends, so we’ve shared a lot together. But I know that you know how amazing Nancy is as a gift to me. And the fact that I’ve had an opportunity to share in the ministry of Revive Our Hearts has been an incredible gift to me.

So, anyway, back to Bobbie. She stepped into heaven in late October of ’14. I wanted to tell the story. The subtitle of Finish Line says it. It’s: Dispelling Fear, Finding Peace, Preparing for the End of Your Life.

And so, I’ve been ruminating on this. You know this, Dannah, because you do this every single day. But I couldn’t sleep last night, just thinking through our conversation and wanting to unpack each of those phrases one at a time to encourage the people who are listening right now.

Dannah: Let’s do it. Again, that sub-title is: Dispelling Fear, Finding Peace, Preparing for the End of Your Life.

Robert, how did your experience with death dispel fear?

Robert: Well, I had never been that close to it. In fact, I opened the book with a question, “When was the first time you saw a dead body?” I mean, some people, grown ups, except for funeral parlors where the deceased is all plasticized and perfectly dressed, a lot of people haven’t seen a dead person except in that situation.

So I tell the story of when I was a kid swimming in a lake and a guy drowned. That was my first image of a dead person. But when the dead person is your wife of almost forty-five years—you’ve had children together, you’ve gone through life experiences together, you’ve moved multiple times, etc., etc. When it’s that person, and when it’s diagnosed, and you’re looking toward the potential of death, there’s a tremendous amount of fear about that.

In fact, at the beginning of this year, a football player was on the field. He played for the Buffalo Bills, and he tackled a running back. He stood up, turned around, and fell to the ground. Damar Hamlin plays for the Buffalo Bills.

Dannah: I saw it happen.

Robert: It became a prayer meeting. Right?

Dannah: Yes. The newscasters were praying.

Robert: Yes. That is an amazing thing. His name is Dan Orlovsky. He said,” We’ve go to pray right now.” It was like a holy moment on ESPN.

And why was it? Because somebody almost died. In fact, when he hit the ground, he was dead. His heart had stopped beating.

Dannah: Yes. And the players knew, because they were praying.

Robert: They did.

Dannah: And it was not like a regular prayer, like, “Let’s bend the knee and do the right thing.”

Robert: Right. Exactly.

Dannah: It was intercession on the field.

Robert: Unbelievable. It was. They knew.

And the interesting thing about this, as you know, Nancy’s daddy died when he was fifty-three years old. He was playing tennis on a Saturday morning. He had just dropped Nancy off at the airport in Philadelphia, and then he went to play tennis and suffered a severe heart attack and was dead before he hit the ground.

Well, 30 percent of us will die like that. I mean, we’re talking to each other, we’re out for coffee, going for a walk with our mate, and we just drop dead. The lights go off.

Dannah: Really? 30 percent.

Robert: Yes, and 70 percent will have some kind of exit ramp, some a little shorter, some a little longer. But when you read people’s famous last words, the second scenario where they have some time between the time they know they’re going to die and the fact that they die, they have a chance to say something.

In fact, the book includes some interesting famous last words. Like when W.C. Fields was dying and people walked into his room, he was a well-known agnostic, and he’s reading a Bible. They’re, like, “Uh, Mr. Fields, what is that?”

He says, “It’s a Bible.”

They say, “What are you doing?”

He says, “I’m looking for a loophole.” And then he died.

Dannah: (laughter) It doesn’t seem like he found one.

Robert: Exactly.

So when death approaches, the knee-jerk reaction across the board, around the world, is fear. In fact, COVID-19, what was going on around the world? Fear. Why? Fear of what? Fear of dying. People are afraid to die. Now, I know that some things we did to protect ourselves or others were probably overdone. I think statistics and research will confirm that as years go by. But people are afraid to die.

So the book’s goal, mission, is to dispel that fear. 

In fact, the whole first chapter of the book is called, “Spoiler Alert: Heaven Is Real.” Nancy’s long-time friend, Randy Alcorn, wrote an endorsement for the book. There’s only one endorsement for the book. I thought early on, If I could get Randy to endorse this book, I don’t need anybody else.

Dannah: You don’t need anybody else. That’s the one who wrote Heaven. 

Robert: Exactly.

So I talk about heaven, that it really is a real thing. There’s some wonderful stories about funerals and celebrating the death of people who have gone to be with the Lord.

But here’s a verse. It’s actually from 1 Corinthians 2. As Bobbie got sicker and sicker, I bet she quoted this two hundred times. (It was a lot more than that, but I don’t want to be accused of exaggerating.) And here it is:

“Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor has it entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” (1 Cor. 2:9)

So, Bobbie was a painter. Our house was filled with portraits, paintings—probably fifty of them. She loved art. So, “Eye has not seen,” so even her wildest dreams as an artist, heaven’s going to be better than that.

“Ear has not heard.” She loved to sing. She had a beautiful voice. So even better than art and music, “neither has it entered into the heart of man . . .” Our most amazing fantasy about what heaven would be like, we can’t imagine the things that God has prepared for those who love Him.

If you and Bob are on a trip and you’re flying somewhere exotic, some place warm, and you’re anticipating this time to get away with your love. It’s incredible. It’s wonderful. It’s indescribable how fun it is to anticipate something wonderful.

Dannah: Yes.

Robert: Well, that’s heaven. So that’s dispelling fear. Once you get a picture of where we are going, those who follow Christ, love Him, have been redeemed by the blood, have something to look forward to. Since that’s true, that should change everything about how we feel about dying.

Dannah: It really should, yes.

You know, I love snorkeling. My husband takes me on many, many snorkeling trips. I want to be under the water. And every time, I just want to see something that amazes me. He likes snorkeling, but he doesn’t love it like me. He takes me because he loves me. But I think, Wow. I need to want to be as excited about going on the trip to heaven as I am those snorkeling trips. Right?

Robert: Yes. That’s a wonderful picture.

So you’re standing in, let’s say, waist-deep water, maybe chest-deep water. You’ve got a mask and a snorkel, right? You’re looking out over the top of the water, and it just looks like water. Right? That’s all you see. But as soon as your mask breaks the surface of the water and you’re looking under . . . that’s what we’re talking about right now.

It’s like, “Wow! There’s a whole world that I couldn’t have imagined! And here it is right in front of me!” That’s a great word picture. I love that, Dannah.

Dannah: Robert, you know I just have to ask. We’ve been all praying with you these last several years as you fought not one but two different cancer diagnoses. How did that impact your thoughts about death and dying and heaven?

Robert: Seven years ago if I heard you ask me that question I would have said, “What are you talking about?” I was a caregiver. I know cancer as a bystander, as a spectator, but not as a player on the field.

And so to get two different cancers, just back-to-back . . . Let’s pretend, Dannah, that God is writing my story. 

Dannah: We don’t have to pretend!!

Robert: You’re right! That’s a good answer. So, you have to trust. I mean, you don’t have to trust, but you really need to trust that God knows what He’s doing and God doesn’t say, “Oh, wait . . . wha-a-t!? What was that diagnosis? What do you mean, ‘eight rounds of chemo?!’ What are you talking about!?”

He knows exactly what He’s doing. And so, if you were to ask Nancy this question, I think she would say that there was no fear, there was peace. There was a great sense of God’s presence all the way along. 

There’s nothing quite as vulnerable as being wheeled into an operating room, or one more needle stick (I stopped counting at a hundred, literally) or one more biopsy. And you’re on your stomach and the doctor’s got a quarter-inch Black and Decker drill, and he’s punching a hole in your spine But you’re saying, “This is okay. I’m not going to complain. I’m going to do my best to not be afraid.”

And so, the answer to your question is that I’m grateful that I had that experience—even in crafting this manuscript—because I wasn’t a spectator. This was my life, too. And the things that I am eagerly advising, encouraging readers to do and think are some things that I have experienced myself. 

So, this is interesting because, writing a book, your own experience has so much to do with your ability to write about it. I don’t know what the next book would be. I think I must have been crazy to write a book about death, like, “What are you thinking?!”

But the Lord put me through all of this, allowed me to experience all of it, so that I would have something to say. I would have some sense of a way to encourage people who could say, “Well, that sounds good. You’ve lived in an ivory tower, whatever, but you’ve never experienced this. You know it academically or mentally, but you don’t really know it.”

Well, now I do. It has taken a toll on me physically. I mean, I am seventy-five. You know, those years stack up. Actually, I’m right about at the spot where mortality is mine, living in the United States—seventy-five or seventy-seven maybe seventy-nine is the average death of a guy like me.

So I’m right on time. I’ve said jokingly (because I’m a hopeless salesman) that the book may be a really nice booktable item at the back of the church at my funeral service. But I’m thrilled, and I’m so grateful to have had this chance.

Dannah: That’s our friend Robert Wolgemuth, recorded in 2023. As you heard, Robert was prepared for eternity. He was eager and excited to meet His Savior and live forever with Him.

Robert has now stepped into eternity, so please continue to pray for his wife, Nancy, his daughters, Missy and Julie, and their families. 

You can hear more from Robert, learn more about his books and watch a video about his marriage to Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. To explore more about Robert’s life, visit ReviveOurHearts.com. 

I want to leave you with some words that Nancy sent from the hospital as she sat with Robert in his final days. She wrote: 

Even in the midst of this painful trial, my heart is unexplainably full and grateful. I’m thankful for our Savior—“A man of suffering who knew what sickness was. 

That’s from Isaiah 53:3. Nancy went on to say that she was grateful for His promises, for His peace, and for the assurance that one day all suffering, sorrow, and sickness will be banished and will be replaced with endless worship and inexpressible joy in His presence.

And then she wrote: “Heaven Rules.”

Please continue to pray for our dear Nancy. It has been a joy to watch her walk this out in truth faith—living what she teaches. But, she is in grief, and she needs our prayers. I hope you’ll join us.

Thanks so much for listening today to Revive Our Hearts.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

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