Choosing Truth over Deception

Dannah Gresh: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth says, when you avoid exaggeration and lying, you’re reflecting God’s character.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: Because He is truth, and lying is utterly contrary to the nature of God. There’s no shadow of turning with God, no shading of the truth. He’s perfect noonday. 

Dannah: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Adorned, for July 9, 2025. I’m Dannah Gresh.

Nancy: We’ve been talking all this week about the power and the impact of our words. I’ve been encouraging you to memorize Proverbs 18:21. It says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” We’ve seen that our words can wound, or they can heal. They can minister grace and blessing, or they can dishearten and discourage the people that we speak to.

Then we saw yesterday that our tongues are connected to our hearts and that the real issue is not the tongue or a speech or word issue. The real issue is a heart issue. And for those of us—which would be all of us—who have a heart issue, God has provided, through the cross and the blood of Christ, a solution.

It’s called confession, repentance, God’s grace, forgiveness. I know I can get onto this subject of the tongue—we’re looking all this week at what Proverbs has to say about the tongue—and I can start to feel very overwhelmed and discouraged about ever having victory in the matter of my speech. But that would be an instrument of the enemy to leave you feeling that way.

I want you to be encouraged and to know that by the power of God’s Spirit we can be overcomers in this area. He can give us new hearts, clean hearts, pure hearts, loving hearts that speak pure and loving and gracious words.

Over the next several sessions, we want to look in more detail in the book of Proverbs at some specific ways that we can use our tongue for good or for evil. Ways that our mouths reflect either a foolish or a wise heart, a righteous or a wicked heart. The first of those is an area that God dealt with me a number of years ago and has become such an important part of God’s work in my life. It has to do with this whole matter of whether we use our tongues for deceit or for truthfulness.

Proverbs has a lot to say about lying, a lying tongue. And it talks about lying in different ways: deceit, false witness, beguilement. There are many different ways that we can deceive.

You may think that you don’t have a problem with lying. I’ll just tell you honestly, since we’re being honest here, that I had a huge problem with lying as a young woman in ministry. I’m sure it didn’t start then; it probably started earlier than that.

But it was in my twenties that the Lord first began to show me that I had a real habit, a bondage in the area . . . I thought of it as exaggeration. But the Lord came to show me that it was lying and that I was motivated by a desire to make a better impression of myself than was honestly true. Things would be said that I knew were more flattering than was true of me, but I would let them be said. I would says things that would exaggerate the truth in order to leave a better impression.

That was a deeply rooted sin issue in my heart—one that took some real time and grace and effort on God's part and mine to root out of my life. But it's one where I've reaped such great blessing freedom because of letting God pull out those roots of deceit and replace them with roots of truthfulness. That's not to say that I never blow it in this area. It's good for me to go back to the book of Proverbs and to focus on what Proverbs has to say about lying.

You may be thinking, That's not an issue for me.

Well, the fact that it comes up so many times just in the book of Proverbs alone makes me think it is probably more of an issue for more of us than most of us realize.  So I'm going to assume that most of us have need to hear this matter. Again, remembering that our tongue is connected to our heart. So if I'm speaking words that aren't true, it's because I've allowed deception to take place in my own heart.

Proverbs teaches us first the way that God views lying. If we want to have truthful hearts and tongues, we need to come to see lying the way that God sees it. Lying is no small matter to God.

 

If you turn to Proverbs chapter 6, beginning at verse 16, you come to that very familiar passage about the six things that the Lord hates, yes seven that are an abomination to Him. And in the list that follows . . .

These are things the Lord hates; that’s a strong word. These are things that are an abomination to the Lord. That’s another really strong word. If you knew that something was disgusting to God, that it was despicable to Him, that it was an abomination to Him, do you think you’d want to play with it, embrace it, toy with it?

As you look at that list, you discover that three of the things on that list of seven relate to the tongue; and two of those three items relate to lying specifically. You’d think if God only had seven things He could mention that He hates that they’d all be different. But two of them specifically relate to lying.

He says, after a proud heart, there is a lying tongue, and then a false witness who speaks lies, and then one who sows discord among the brethren. I don’t know any way to do that without the tongue. So there you have, out of that list of seven, three things that relate to the tongue and two that relate specifically to lying.

So how does God feel about lying? He hates it. And why does He hate it? Because He is truth, and lying is utterly contrary to the nature of God. There’s no shadow of turning with God, no shading of the truth. He’s perfect noonday. When we shade the truth, or in subtle ways even lie to defend ourselves or to make ourselves look better, we’re going contrary to the nature of God.

Proverbs 12:22 tells us that “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight.” God hates lying because it is so contrary to His character. In fact, as we look in other parts of the Scripture, we discover that lying is actually devilish. It is satanic, and that’s why God abhors it. He detests it.

On the contrary, He loves those who speak truthfully, because when we speak truthfully we’re speaking God’s language. So this matter of lying is no small matter to God. When you or I are deceptive to God in our hearts or our speech, what we really are doing is siding with Satan against God. And when we speak the truth, we are siding with God against Satan. Spiritual victories are won against the evil one when we are willing to speak the truth, no matter how difficult that may be. So that’s how God views lying.

Now, the other important question is, "How do godly people view lying? How should we view lying?"

Proverbs 13:5 tells us that “a righteous man hates lying.” Who does that sound like? Who else hates lying? God hates lying. So if we’re righteous, if we have the character and the heart of God in us, we’re going to hate lying as God hates it. “But a wicked man,” the Scripture says, “is loathsome and comes to shame.” So a person who is righteous loves what God loves and hates what God hates. And since God hates every form of falsehood, if we are right with God we will hate falsehood as well.

Proverbs 12:19 tells us “the truthful lip shall be established forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.” Now, in real life that doesn’t always seem to be true. Sometimes people who lie seem to succeed and not succeed if they told the truth. But Proverbs says that in the long run, in the light of how God views things and in the light of eternity, the effect of true words will be enduring, but those who deceive will not last. They’re only for a moment. That phrase there is literally “for the blinking of the eyes.” They may seem to get ahead and to succeed better in life by deception, but in fact their time will be short and their lies will be exposed.

I was reading from Charles Spurgeon, and he said, "What a poor thing is the temporary triumph of falsehood." So, falsehood seems to win the day, but it's only temporary. Spurgeon said that's a poor thing, a temporary triumph, a falsehood. 

Proverbs 10:18 tells us that, "whoever hides hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool." There again, it talks about the hatred in the heart ultimately comes out in lying lips.

Well, Proverbs 12:17—there are a number of verses here that talk about the matter of truthful witness. Specifically here it is talking about a court setting. There are a number of references to court settings in the book of Proverbs, but by application this can have to do with any time we’re giving a report, any time we’re giving an account. “I saw this happen. I heard this happen.”

Those of us who are speakers are particularly in danger of embellishing the details or changing the details to fit our purpose. I have to say, especially people with a great sense of humor can fall into this. I've seen some events happen, and then I've heard a very funny person tell how the event happened. Now, maybe it's all in the eye of the beholder. But I've sometimes sat there and thought, I was there when that happened, and it really wasn't quite that funny.

But I have to catch myself often as I'm speaking and I'm telling a story. Now, there are cases where I will deliberately change specifics in a story so as not to identify someone who has written a letter to Revive Our Hearts or told me a story in confidence. But, where I'm embellishing a story to improve on the report. What does God think about that? It's an abomination to Him.

So Proverbs 12:17 says, “He who speaks truth declares righteousness, but a false witness deceit.”

Proverbs 14:5: “The faithful witness does not lie, but a false witness will utter lies.” Of course, this is going back to the ninth commandment: “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor” (Deut. 5:20). 

So as you think about the reports that you give of others, do you generally give true reports? Do you work hard at making sure that the details are accurate, that the way you’re retelling the story is the way that it happened?

You say, “That sounds so legalistic. You’ve got to just watch everything you say!” Well, that’s what the Scripture says. We will give account for every idle or carelessly spoken word.

But I want to tell you, when you begin to speak truth, as I discovered years ago when God began to set me free from exaggeration and deception and giving false reports, you find it’s a whole lot freer to be a person who speaks the truth. When you're embellishing the truth, you've always got to be covering your tracks that you say the same thing the same way, covering your bases. You can get into a lot of trouble, I know, for saying things that aren't exactly the way that they happened. But there is a freedom that comes when you just speak the truth.

We're going to pick up in the next session on this matter of lying and deception. But I want to stop here and ask God to search our hearts. Ask God to search your heart as I've been asking God to search mine.

Are you a faithful witness. By that I mean, when you give reports do you tell it the way that it happened? When you talk about something someone else has done, if it is something you should be telling at all, do you tell it in a way that is accurate? Or, do you have a tendency to embellish the truth, to exaggerate the truth in some way to tell the story to give a report that makes you a false witness?

What does the Scripture say about that, God hates it. When you and I have a righteous heart, we will hate it as well.

Dannah: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth has been helping us recognize deception and to have no tolerance for it in our own lives. Nancy will be back to pray, and I’m about to talk with a friend who went through a difficult process of learning to speak the truth.

But first, I’d like to tell you about an exciting opportunity coming up soon.

If you’ve been encouraged by Nancy’s teaching and the ministry of Revive Our Hearts, then I want to invite you to join us in Indianapolis on October 2–4 for True Woman '25. At this conference, you’ll hear from Nancy, Mary Kassian, Jackie Hill Perry, Blair Linne, Kevin DeYoung, and so many other wonderful speakers. I’ll be there too! We’ll be singing with worship leaders Shane and Shane. I hear they’re writing a special song just for the conference, and I am so excited to sing it together. Visit TrueWoman25.com to purchase your ticket. We have in-person and online options. 

In the meantime, if you’ve been listening this week and you’re feeling convicted that maybe your words aren’t honest, or they aren’t uplifting and kind, then we’d love for you to read Nancy’s booklet The Power of Words.

It covers the topics Nancy’s teaching on in this series, and it gives you an opportunity to reflect on what you’re learning. When you make a donation of any amount, we’ll send you a copy as our way of saying thank you. Visit ReviveOurHearts.com to donate, or call us at 1-800-569-5959. Be sure to ask for The Power of Words when you do.

Nancy’s been warning us about exaggeration, and I want to show you what it looks like in real life to turn from this sin. My friend Dr. Juli Slattery is the co-founder of Authentic Intimacy, a ministry dedicated to reclaiming God’s design for sexuality. She’s also the author of several books, including Rethinking Sexuality and God, Sex, and Your Marriage. 

Now speaking of books, Juli has a super honest story to share with us. It all started when her dream publisher reached out to her about her upcoming book.

Dr. Juli Slattery: I've always been a fan of Focus on the Family, and would have always loved to work there. Focus first started contacting me about a book that I was writing in the process of writing, called Beyond the Masquerade

Dannah: Exciting, right? Juli was thrilled, but there was a catch.

Dr. Juli: If you've ever published a book, or tried to publish a book, one of the things that you have to respond to the acquisitions team is they ask you all these questions, basically saying, is you're gonna is your book gonna sell? Is this a good bet for us? And so they were asking me questions about how many copies of my book, the previous books that I had written had sold. And at the time, I had written two books, and one of them had sold pretty well, and the other one hadn't sold so well. And as I responded to the woman who was asking me, I gave honest, true figures for the first book, but the second book, I fudged the numbers, because deep down I thought, Wow, if they knew it only sold this many copies, they wouldn't be interested.

Dannah: Mmm. Exaggeration—what a temptation this form of deception can be for us! It feels more sneaky and subtle than an outright lie, doesn’t it? But Juli says:

Dr. Juli: The Lord began to convict me. Think of the irony here. Here I am writing a book called Beyond the Masquerade, unveiling the authentic you, and I'm lying about how many copies my book sold

Dannah: Wow, that’s honest, and proof that the teachers we follow need Jesus just as much as we do.

Dr. Juli: Just because God's given you something to say, even if you've written a book on it doesn't mean that you don't need to kneel in that truth and ask God to infiltrate your heart with that first and foremost

Dannah: God humbled Juli throughout this book negotiation process, and He revealed something else about her heart.

Dr. Juli: Down deep inside, I didn't have confidence and faith that God would take this work where he wanted it to be. And as the Lord convicted my spirit at first, I was like, "Okay, God, I'm sorry. I won't do that again." And God's like, "No, no, no, you need to do something about this."

Dannah: Uh oh, that’s not something we like to hear from God. Let’s be honest, friend, sometimes it’s easier to repent before God than it is to repent before another person. But God loved Juli too much to let her off the hook.

Dr. Juli: He prompted my heart to get touch with that woman and to confess that I had not been honest and I lied. So not only now was I someone who doesn't sell a lot of books; I was a liar who doesn't sell many books. But the lesson in that was God was saying, "Do you trust Me?" You know, so often we mix God confidence with self-confidence, and we think God needs a little help to get our to get his work done. That's what Saul did. He would mix seeking God with his own ambition and his own confidence and really be deceitful, and that's what I was doing. I'm grateful that the Lord got a hold of my heart and reminded me, "If you trust Me, you trust Me, period."

Dannah: Now you may be wondering, What happened with Juli’s book deal? Did it go through? Well, did it ever.

Dr. Juli: They not only published my book, but that started this whole relationship of Focus asking me about being interested in being on the radio and being part of their team, and asking me to move to Colorado Springs. This was my dream job, and I never even filled out an application. God just opened that door.

Dannah: Just incredible! God not only taught Juli a lesson about trusting Him, but He also taught her something else.

Dr. Juli: As much of a sinner as I am when I when I was able to humble myself and repent of that sin, he just blessed me. He blessed me beyond what I could imagine. And he doesn't always do that. He doesn't always have to work in the same way, but he is so good, and he's so willing to pour out His blessing to his children when we just take that one step of obedience.

Dannah: Praise God for doing this work in Juli’s life. She told this story to women in a breakout session at a True Woman conference. And lest we become all high and mighty about never having inflated numbers in a book deal negotiation, Juli offered some poignant examples for the rest of us.

Dr. Juli: Who has their driver’s license with them? Pull out your driver’s license for a minute. There’s a number there under “weight.” (Laughter) Yeah, okay. Look at that number beside “weight.” How many of you actually weigh what it says? A couple of you. I weigh what mine says when I’ve had the flu for three days, in the morning, without a stitch of clothing on! (Laughter)

Have you ever noticed when you replay a story of a conflict that you and your husband had, you kind of change the details a little bit to make him look a lot worse and you a lot better?

We do this all the time! We’re not authentic because we’re afraid of the gray dots, and we so long for the gold stars. So I’ve been asking the Lord for years, “Would You set me free? Would You set me free, and when You show me freedom, would You give me the courage to actually step out and live differently?”

Ladies, we are in a battle. We are in a spiritual battle, and we’re playing the devil’s game. Jesus wants to free us so that we can do His work.

Dannah:Jesus wants us to be free! He really does, friend. Nancy read Proverbs 12:22 to us earlier. It tells us that “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight.” We need to be set free from the sin of exaggeration so that we can be a delight to the Lord. 

Now you may be thinking, “Yes, this is what I want! I desire to be a delight to God. But how am I set free? Well, I have good news. The apostle Paul gives us some practical steps toward freedom in Ephesians 4. 

He says, “[You are] to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.”

We’re called to a life of putting off and putting on. Put off deceit. Put on truth. Put off lying. Put on honesty and humility. That’s what Juli Slattery did, and God blessed her abundantly as a result.

So I want to invite you to do the same. Make a commitment. If you deceive, would you go back and make it right? And would you commit to developing new healthy habits in your speech? 

I’ve heard it takes thirty days to set a habit. That’s why we’re offering the 30-Day Power of Words challenge to practice using our tongues to speak life-giving, truthful words. To help you in this thirty-day period, Revive Our Hearts will send you an email each day with a devotional thought about our words from Nancy or from my good friend Mary Kassian. Mary’s the author of a book called Conversation Peace. 

You’ll get more out of this challenge when you sign up with a friend or perhaps do it as a family or a small group at church. You’ll be able to discuss the daily devotional together and encourage each other in that challenge.

In order to receive those daily emails for thirty days, you'll need to sign up at ReviveOurHearts.com/challenges.

Tomorrow on Revive Our Hearts, well, prepare for more conviction. Nancy will show us why failing to do what we say could be considered lying. Please be back tomorrow. And I know most of us have experienced some conviction today. The good news is, Jesus never sinned with his tongue or in any way, but He died in our place so every false word can be forgiven.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is back to lead us in a time of repentance and prayer.

Nancy: I just want to ask us to bow our hearts before the Lord. You ask the Lord, “Is there something in the area of lying or deception that I need to repent of? Scripture says that those who deal truthfully are His delight.

Lord, we want to delight Your heart. So I pray that You’ll set us free from lying lips. May we have a passion for the truth, a truthful heart that expresses itself in truthful words. I pray in Jesus’ name, amen.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

All Scripture is taken from the New King James Version unless otherwise noted.

 

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