Turning to God’s Word in a Tragedy

Dannah Gresh: Here's Ciara Dierking. 

Ciara Dierking: Even though my heart hurts so much that my kids have a mom without arms and legs, because I can't help them in the ways that I used to, I see that they have this idea that heaven is way better than this earth ever could be.

Dannah: This is the Revive Our Hearts podcast with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Heaven Rules, for November 26, 2025. I'm Dannah Gresh.

For the last couple of days, we've been hearing the story of Ciara and David Dierking. Ciara went into the hospital because she wasn't feeling well. Upon examination, the doctors explained to her that what was happening in her body was very serious. Ultimately, because of an infection, doctors amputated not only her arms but also her legs.

Ciara: Honestly, it still felt like I had my hands and my feet, and so I just remember the moment that I found out I did not, just by honestly looking down. I had not even thought of looking because it felt like I had my limbs. And then I remember seeing the bandages and realizing what had happened, and that was devastating.

Dannah: We heard how Ciara fought despair by maintaining a thankful heart. If you haven't already heard the full story, make sure to visit ReviveOurHearts.com and listen to the previous programs from this week, or listen on the Revive Our Hearts app.

In early October, Ciara was able to attend the True Woman ’25 conference, and I had the opportunity to interview her from the platform.

Ciara: There have been moments in this journey where I truly doubted my salvation. In the hospital, that was the lowest point in my whole life. I couldn't move. I couldn't breathe on my own. I couldn't talk. I couldn't eat or drink. I selfishly wondered why God had kept me alive. Why? 

I really was struggling, wishing that things were different and questioning God. And He was so gracious to bring back Scripture to my mind from Psalm 23: “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” I had to pray through that. I said, “God, it feels like I'm in want. It feels like You've taken too much from me.”

And I will admit that it took me really a full year of questioning and studying. Why? Why is the Bible true? Like, am I sure of what I believe in? And did Jesus Christ really rise from the dead? Do I have hope after this life? 

And God again was so gracious. I feel like just recently He convicted me that I was relying on my feelings and not on His true Word, not on the words that He's written about Himself. He says over and over again that He is good, He's merciful, He's patient, and He's our loving Father. And so, yes, I questioned many times how a good God could do this, but today I'm so thankful for the work He's done in my heart that I can truly say, “God is good.”

Dannah: Wow. Wow!

You say the word “thankful.” I heard your mother-in-law found something that was cultivating that thankfulness in you for this moment. What was that?

Ciara: Nancy's book Choosing Gratitude. I had been an ungrateful person before this, and I knew it. It was something I struggled with. And so I was reading through that book for the second or third time on our way to Pennsylvania. She found it in my bag after I'd gone to the hospital. I read through it again when I came home from the hospital.

Dannah: All your underlines are there on the screen. 

Ciara: Embarrassing. Everyone's looking at all the things I wrote.

Dannah: Give us an update. How are you now? What's going on now?

Ciara: I have spent the last year going to appointments—prosthetic appointments—to get some arms and legs, and rehab appointments, also learning how to drive my wheelchair. I've taken out big chunks of the wall and some doors off the hinges. I'm fully licensed now, don't worry!

Dannah: Oh, you are just precious. You know who else is precious? Your husband.

Ciara: Yes. 

Dannah: Tell us about him.

Ciara: He is a true servant. He fills all the roles that he has to do without complaint, and he has a lot of roles: he's husband, caregiver, father, full-time worker. And, I also hired him for my company that I decided to start for the T-shirts and the watercolors. So, he's my only and my best employee.

Dannah: Okay, tell us about the company, because you have begun painting.

Ciara: Yes.

Dannah: Were you painting before?

Ciara: No, I didn't have time before. I was too busy perfecting the home. I cannot do hardly anything with my prosthetic arms. I can lift very light things, so I decided I'll lift up a paintbrush and give that a try. That's been such a gift from God. It's something creative and beautiful, and I hope to use it to encourage other people.

Dannah: Beautiful, gorgeous.

You said Psalm 23. You have arranged a new way of reading the Word. You have a ledge in your home where you put the Word up for you to read and be in. Tell us how the Word has been a part of your journey.

Ciara: Yes. When I first came home from the hospital, I had an amazing friend and mentor who had come to my house every week. She would bring me handwritten notecards that had verses on them that I was supposed to meditate on and memorize before I saw her next week. Those verses truly kept me going. I mean, there were times I did not want to read the Bible. I just was doubting God. I didn't feel like reading His Word. 

But having this friend come and encourage me in that way was such a huge blessing, because I was accountable to her. And those words, they spoke to me everywhere. I would memorize them. When I was outside with the kids, those words would come back to me and just encourage me over and over and over again.

And one of the ones that she first wrote out, she taped to my hospital bed. It was in the Psalms: “God, you are good and you do good. Teach me your statutes.” I would just pray every morning, “God, help me to see Your goodness today. Help me to understand Your Word. Help me to want to read it.” Because I knew even though I didn't want to read it, where else was I going to turn? There was nothing else that was going to bring me satisfaction. I wasn't able to do any of the things I used to do or be the person I used to be. And His Word I truly did find it satisfied.

Dannah: Wow. You truly put your hope in the Word.

Ciara: I did. Yes.

Dannah: (to audience) Are you inspired? (applause) They are waving their hankies.

Ciara: I feel like that's the Holy Spirit. I feel like truly God is so good to give us the Holy Spirit inside of us—that He would keep drawing us back again and again to God's Word, even when we, in our flesh, don't want to go. He's drawing us back.

Dannah: Wow. The beauty of Christ in you is breathtaking. (applause)

I think I know you well enough to know that you guys want to get around her and pray for her. Should we pray for her?

Lord Jesus, we just lift up to you Ciara and her family. We thank You. We are grateful for the example that she has given us of hoping in You and waiting on You. Thank You, Lord, that You have not taken away but given purpose. Thank You, Lord, that she is teaching us today through her testimony. And Father, will you just make these arms and these legs she's waiting on work beautifully. In the mighty name of Jesus, we praise You for the life of Ciara.

Everybody said, “Amen.”

Ciara: Thanks, Dannah. 

Dannah: Thank you, friend.

Again, that's a conversation Ciara Dierking and I had in front of thousands of women at a recent True Woman conference. At that conference, one of the breakout session leaders was Gretchen Saffles. 

Gretchen Saffles (at the conference): Jesus is the embodiment of God's message of salvation and grace. If we want to know God, we have to through His Son, Jesus Christ. He is the better Word. He's the best Word, and He is the final Word.

Dannah: Gretchen is the author of The Well-Watered Woman. Ciara had benefited from Gretchen's ministry before getting sick and hoped to meet the author who inspired her. Gretchen had seen the video Revive Our Hearts produced with David and Ciara. She was excited to meet Ciara, so we surprised Ciara with a get-together to meet Gretchen and then talk about the ways God's Word can help us through times of suffering. Let's listen.

Gretchen: So I wanna hear what the Lord has been teaching you recently, like just very recently. 

Ciara: Recently, I really feel like He's been teaching me that He is good and only good. I was telling Dave and some of our friends that all along I've said God is good. I said it, and I wanted to believe it. I really did. I wasn't saying a lie. 

But just over the past few months, I've really dug in deep to see His character and just really looking at the suffering of His own Son. Through all that and also just saying I'm living by my feelings, like I don't feel like You're good, that's what I've been choosing to believe.

So just in the past few months, realizing that I have to live by faith in His Word of who He says He is. It is not just how I feel in the moment. So that's been something that's been really encouraging and special. I'm sure more trials will come, and maybe I'll have to relearn all of that. But for now, it's just good to remember that and to be able to say it and fully believe it.

Gretchen: Yeah. You're a testimony of that. I think of “good” and how I define it . . . and that it's not the same as how God defines it, because He sees a much bigger picture. In Psalm 136, where, “Give thanks to the Lord for He is good, for His love endures forever.”

One year I tried to memorize it. I think it's mostly gone out of my brain now. I need to refresh. But as I was going through it, the stanzas would say, “He crashed the Red Sea over Pharaoh and his army.” And then it says, “For He is good; His love endures forever” (see v. 15). And then it starts with creation. It goes through each thing that God did to deliver the Israelites. But some of them, if you just stop in the middle, you go, “Wait, how is God good and His love endures forever in that moment?” If you only saw that one little moment, it's hard to really believe that.

I think of the song, where our faith shall be made sight. We're all walking through this world where we can only see this little bit. Then God gives us this bigger picture of how I'm going to see Him, and am I going to really trust Him in this moment.

I want to know how you've grown and your dependence on Him in this season.

Ciara: When I came from the hospital . . .

Gretchen: What year was that?

Ciara: It was last June.

Gretchen: It was just last June? I thought it was in 2021.

Ciara: 2024 I came home from the hospital, and I have never felt so low in my entire life. I was truly dependent on other people for everything. I could not even roll over by myself. So I was like, “I feel like I'm a baby.” Babies are dependent on us for everything, and that's how I felt.

And my mentor said, “You're just going to have to take everything to God.”

And so I did. I mean . . . everything. He probably got tired of hearing all the things.

Gretchen: No, I know He does not.

Ciara: Yeah. But things that you would never have thought you would need to pray for, I prayed for. As I've become more independent, that's been an interesting kind of struggle, especially with the phone. It just calls. It feels like it's calling to you, like you can accomplish so much. 

Gretchen: It's like magnetic somehow.

Ciara: But if I rush over there and don't start my day praying through all the different areas that we're going to need to help for, it feels so chaotic in my heart. So I've had to be careful as I'm able to do more. I am still asking God to help me in all the areas, because we really do need help in all the areas, even if we don't know it yet.

Gretchen: Yes. His power is made perfect in weakness.

Ciara: Yes. 

Gretchen: And to be able to see that is like a little glimpse of heaven. And so seeing that in your story is just such a gift. I know it's so hard. It is not easy. I know there's going to be moments of just crying out to the Lord. I can just see His mercy and His salvation in your life. So thank you for sharing that.

Ciara: You're welcome. I think that something that has given me so much hope, and probably other people who've gone through suffering and big trials know this too, is the hope of heaven. I tell people all the time, if I didn't have that, I wouldn't be able to go through this with joy, because this would be all that there was.

And so, especially in 2 Corinthians 4 and 5, I've just been camped out there a lot, just looking at how these earthly tents are falling apart, and mine fell apart much faster than some others. But we have that hope of heaven, where we're going to have our spiritual souls and new bodies redeemed.

Gretchen: I'm like, “What's that going to be like, Lord?

Ciara: My four-year-old is so cute. He's like, “Mom, watch me,” and he's like doing all these robot moves with his hands. And he's like, “When you get to heaven, you can do the robot.”

Gretchen: I can't wait to do that. 

Ciara: I loved it. And so I love that even though my heart hurts so much that my kids have a mom without arms and legs, because I can't help them in the ways that I used to. In fact, they have to help me with a lot of things.

That feels really hard. It feels very backwards. But I see that they have a picture of heaven and eternity that I did not have when I was that age. I did not want Jesus to come back until I went to Disney. I was like, “Don't come back, Lord. I'm not done here.”

Gretchen: I used to have different milestones that I would go, “Please don't come back until I get married,” or “Please don't come back till I have a house.” All these little things, because I didn't have a good view of heaven and how much better this is going to be.

Ciara: So I feel like in that way, they're blessed to have this idea that heaven is way better than this earth ever could be. And we'll all be there together, Lord willing. And we'll be able to run and do the robot dance together again.

Gretchen: And these redeemed bodies that don't have sicknesses, that are fully . . . I mean, we're just going to dance together.

Even now, though as believers our hearts are one, and we come together and we pray for each other, and we support one another. So even in these moments of just what is happening, and I even just hearing that about your boys, I'm like, they have actually been given an amazing gift from God to be able to see that at such an early age and to encounter His goodness at that age. And again, it's good not defined like we think good is.

Ciara: Right.

Gretchen: Because we think good is easy, is affluent, is like, “Oh, that's good. I want to go through good times.” But the whole Bible is kind of the opposite of that.

Ciara: I know. And I don't know how I never saw that before, honestly.

When this happened to me, I was like, “Oh my goodness, what did I do to deserve this?” And then the more I dug into Scripture, I was like, “Oh my goodness, there is suffering in all the stories.” 

And especially the story of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, coming down, and the fact that He went through everything that I've been through makes me appreciate Him so much more because what I have been through was rough; it was really, really bad. And just the fact that He chose to do that, I cannot say that I would have chosen that. I'm selfish. I would have said, “No thank you!”

Gretchen: We all are.

Ciara: Yes. But the fact that He did that for us, sinful people . . . we weren't even good.

Gretchen: So how would you define good now based off of knowing that the Lord is good and it's His steadfast love that endures forever? I've had to remember that in trials that I’ve had, or I've gone through postpartum depression really bad, and just all kinds of things. 

We were talking a little bit earlier about panic attacks, I mean debilitating panic attacks, that I would say, “God, I don't know if I can follow You anymore if I'm going to keep having these.” And yet, He kept saying, “Come back to Me.” And so, I had to redefine what is the goodness of God in these moments, because that's where a lot of people's faith falls apart, because something bad happens and they go, “How can God be good in this moment?”

Ciara: I think His goodness is being with us in the suffering. He says He draws near to the brokenhearted, and He saves the crushed in spirit. And the fact that God would want to draw near when we were in such a low, terrible point just shows how good and loving He is. I think Nancy says that whatever makes you need the Lord is a blessing. Trials like this that just push you into God are in a way good, even though they feel very terrible.

Gretchen: Yes, it feels terrible. And the world, then they see the testimony of God's strength. But it doesn't mean that we don't cry, and we don't question and call out to God. I mean, we see that in the Psalms. I always think of Psalm 88.

It starts really sad, and it ends really sad. It's so interesting, because you've got Psalm 13 that starts, “How long, O LORD, will you forget me? How long will you turn your face from me?” (v. 1). And you're just feeling that anguish. And then in the end, he turns back and he says, “But I will hope in Your steadfast love” (v. 6). 

But Psalm 88 isn't like that. He says, “My darkness is my companion,” (v. 18) and it's this really heavy psalm that God put in Scripture.

I'm so comforted to know that we have a God who is not afraid of these hard feelings. He's not disappointed when we're disappointed, or when we're discouraged, or when we're crying out to Him, because even Jesus, God in human flesh, experienced what we experienced. He grasped that too. The fact that we have moments where we can experience that, it is good, but it’s a different kind of good. It’s a heavenly good. 

Ciara: I feel like, in that way, they're blessed to have this idea that heaven is way better than this earth ever could be. And we’ll all be there together, Lord willing. And we’ll be able to run and do the robot dance together again. And these redeemed bodies that don’t have sicknesses, I mean, we’re just going to dance together.

Gretchen: Yes. And that even now, though, as believers, our hearts are one. We come together, and we pray for each other, and we support one another. And so even in these moments of just, “What is happening?” . . . Even just hearing that about your boys, I’m like, they have actually been given an amazing gift from God to be able to see that at such an early age and to encounter His goodness at that age.

This has only been a year—a year of life change! To see your faith . . . and I know that Revive Our Hearts shared your story. They shared about gratitude. I want to hear more about how you’ve chosen gratitude.

I mean, how is that practically looked in those moments where everybody would say, “You don't have to be grateful.” And yet, God is moving in your heart, and He's using you to show us what it really means to choose that gratitude. 

Ciara: Yes, in the hospital, Dave and I were talking, and I think we realized that if we weren't grateful, we were going to just get pulled under. I was just ready to every time I thought about what I lost, it was a pity party. If I had followed that path, I was going to be depressed. 

And so we decided we're going to find three things to write down that we're thankful for in the hospital. It was like a new hospital gown. It was a visitor, some flowers, like it was things like that in the hospital. And then when I got home, it was my kids. I was back at home with my kids, and I could see trees and go outside. It continues to be some funny things because so much has been taken away that a lot of things I'm really grateful for that some people might be like, “That is weird.” 

Gretchen: Like what? 

Ciara: Like brushing my own teeth. I'm so thankful. Nobody does this as good as I do. 

So yes, I was so grateful to brush my own teeth and feed myself, drink water, breathe—without a ventilator. To get out of bed and just go outside. I remember the first time I went outside, and it was raining. I used to hate the rain. I used to complain because it ruined my hair that I had spent so long on. But that day I was just like, “I am so glad to be outside.” Like, “Thank You God that I can be outside.” 

So, in a lot of ways, it took me from a very ungrateful person who thought she deserved so much into somebody who realized how much we don't deserve and how each little thing is a gift from God. I still have to practice that. I still try and throw pity parties. So, it's definitely a journey I'm still learning, because in my flesh I still think I deserve so much and it's just eye-opening to realize we don't deserve anything. 

Gretchen: And it's, I mean, there's times where my husband, and I hate to say this, he'll say when I’m having a bad day, “Where are you grateful?” And I'll go, “Nothing.” You know, just in one of those pity party moments where you're like, “I'm not grateful for anything, and I'm just going to say it.”

And every time that comes out, I mean, it's right away. It's, wow! Like the Lord has given you so much to be grateful for. 

And so even hearing you say this, and I've read Nancy's Choosing Gratitude too. I remember feeling so convicted about literally the little things. Like, am I grateful for this soap? I mean, you know that this is going to cleanse my stinky, smelly body. Like, am I grateful for this? 

Because if we're going to overlook those small mercies and small graces, then we're definitely going to overlook the big ones from the Lord. I have to be needy for God. Like being a believer who is going to follow Him, it requires complete dependence and surrender. I've had seasons where I've gone, “This is so hard, God. I don't know if I can do this.” But it's in that surrender. I mean, that's where the joy is. That's where the joy and the gratitude comes from. It's when I can say, not I, but He.

It’s when I can say, “It’s not me, it’s Christ in me.” And in those moments where I start to go, “Does God really love me?” And I’m sure that there’ve been times where after just what happened last year, that you would go, “Does God really love me?” That—like you’ve said—we look to His Son. 

Ciara: I think before this, I had never focused much on the suffering of Jesus. I read this in one of Joni’s books. “He truly disabled Himself when He came from a perfect heaven to come down to such a broken world. And all along, He knew how it was going to end.”

I even think of Him with His disciples. When I’m having a hard day with my kids, I’m thinking, Jesus, the perfect person, had twelve young guys with Him, and He was perfectly patient and so good. And I, an imperfect person, am so annoyed when my children act like little sinners. It’s just so convicting to see the perfect Son of God coming down and suffering for us.

Gretchen: He’s our helper in those moments where we’re just going, “Child, you don’t get it?” Or, you know, when you’re so tired at the end of the day, and that’s when they have their faith questions.

Ciara: Oh yes.

Gretchen: That’s when all of a sudden they’re going, “I was wondering this about God . . .” It’s in that moment where you’re going, “Holy Spirit, I need You to take over because in my flesh, I can’t do this.” It’s only through His Spirit helping us.

Ciara: Absolutely. About two nights before we came up here, we’d had a particularly rough day with one of my kids. I tucked him into bed, and I seriously wanted to roll out of there so fast. But I felt like the Holy Spirit was just saying: stay.

And so I stayed. He opened up, and he just shared a lot of things that were on his mind and things that we could pray about. It was just a really special time that I would have missed, because I really was like, “Oh, I’m so done with this day.” But the Holy Spirit is so good to give us those little promptings, like, “You need to stay. This is the time to stay.”

Gretchen: And then in the moment where you actually do, and you can see: wow, God had something that. I’ve had times where I have felt that nudge, and I’ve just I’ve pushed away from it. It’s like immediately after I know, “Wow, I was not listening and following the Holy Spirit’s lead.” It is always worth it to empty ourselves in those moments and to die to, “I want to go to bed right now. I don’t want to have to talk right now.” But He is going to help me.

Ciara: Yes.

Dannah: We’re hearing a conversation between Gretchen Saffles, author of The Well-Watered Woman and Ciara Dierking. They recorded this interview at the True Woman ’25 conference. Our theme was: The Word: Behold the Wonder. At the conference, both Gretchen and Ciara participated in a recitation ofPsalm 119. They’ll share about that experience in just a minute, but first let’s get a flavor of what that recitation was like:

Ciara:

Remember your word to your servant;
in which you give me hope.
This is my comfort in my affliction,
and your promise gives me life.
The insolent utterly deride me,
but I do not turn away from your law. (vv. 49–51 ESV)

Gretchen:

Your hands have made and fashioned me;
give me understanding that I may learn
your commandments.
Those who fear you shall see me and rejoice,
because I have hoped in your word. (vv. 73–74 ESV)

Mary Kassian:

I am your servant; give me understanding
so that I may know your decrees.
It is time for the LORD to act,
for they have violated your instruction. (vv. 125–126 CSB)

Nancy:

Let my cry reach you, LORD;
give me understanding according to your word.
Let my plea reach you;
rescue me according to your promise.” (vv. 169–170 CSB)

Dannah: Gretchen Saffles and Ciara Dierking both participated in the Psalm 119 recitation, and they talked about how they prepared.

Ciara: Nancy had us memorize the four scriptures, and that was so wonderful. If the boys were being crazy, I would just start quoting Scripture out loud. They would turn around and be like, “Mom!” But I’m like, “We just need some peace here, and I don’t know any other way to bring peace than just try and quote some Scripture and pray.” I need to do better about that, memorizing Scripture. That was really convicting. 

Gretchen: Years ago I was pretty consistent with it, and it was partly because I had a mentor. She would challenge me, and we’d memorize a bigger passage together. Then she passed away, and I had children, and then they just zap a lot from your brain.

And my brain has never recovered from children. It’s easy to think, though, that, “Oh, well, I can’t do that. My brain’s too tired.” And so when Nancy challenged us to memorize that passage, I didn’t realize how much fruit would come from that. And what’s funny is I actually memorized the wrong passage at first. 

Ciara: Oh no! 

Gretchen: And then a few weeks ago, I was looking at it and going, “Oh, I have a different passage.” But it was exactly what God needed me to be in. So it was like, there’s so much fruit there in knowing that.

One of the things, I tend to stay awake, sleepless, a lot of nights. That’s when a lot of my worries and anxieties come. I found that one of the best ways for me to fight the fears that can just kind of close in on you when the darkness comes . . . I had seasons where I would have panic attacks at night, because that darkness came and everything stopped. It would just hit me that it was only the Word that could really calm my heart. And so, meditating on it was like chewing on it.

I read a book by Tim Keller, The Reason for God. And in one of the chapters he talks about one of the reasons why people turn from God, or where they say, “I’m not going to believe in God,” is the problem of suffering. How do we serve it? “How is God good when there’s great suffering?” 

He was the one who said, “God suffered for us. We have the only God who actually came and entered into the story, was in a body that was bound by time and human limitations, all of those things, and He suffered for us.” And that’s physically, that’s mentally and emotionally. I mean, He was despised, rejected. And the description is that there was nothing about Him that was beautiful. That’s what Isaiah 53 says. People were like, “Oh, we want somebody that looks like Saul,” not somebody that was not beautiful.

God is so opposite of what we think in our flesh. I’m so encouraged by that. We can encourage each other to get back to memorizing Scripture.

I would love to do that, because it’s with that discipline, there’s so much fruit in it. The reality is, we’re probably reading the Bible 10, 20, 30 minutes, maybe an hour, depending on the day. But then we’re awake for fourteen other hours.

We’re out, we’re taking care of our kids, we’re maybe at church, maybe at the grocery store. Like, we’re out at all these places. And the Holy Spirit . . . Memorizing Scripture, He’s just going to keep bringing that to mind. So it takes it with us. So in those moments, we can remember.

Dannah: We’ve been hearing from Gretchen Saffles, author of The Well-Watered Woman, and from Ciara Dierking. She continues to serve the Lord and her family after losing all four of her limbs to infection.

To hear her incredible story about loss and gratitude, visit ReviveOurHearts.com. We heard from Ciara and her husband David earlier this week. You can hear those episodes in our archives. And check out the video, “Always Grateful.” Sierra displayed an amazing sense of thankfulness during her incredible loss.

A book by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth helped her maintain this attitude. The book is called Choosing Gratitude, and we’d love to send you a copy to help you maintain a thankful heart no matter your circumstances. We’ll send it as our way of saying “thanks” when you support Revive Our Hearts with a gift of any size. Visit ReviveOurHearts.com where you can make your donation and request the book Choosing Gratitude by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.

I hope you’ll join us tomorrow when Nancy leads us through a psalm of Thanksgiving. Don’t let Thanksgiving be just a day on a calendar. I hope you’ll take time to fill your heart with gratitude. Nancy will help you do that. So join us again tomorrow here on Revive Our Hearts.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

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