Finding Happiness and Security

Dannah Gresh: Where do you find yourself seeking satisfaction? Here’s Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: So where do you find the greatest pleasure and where do you find fullness of joy and where do you find life to the hilt? You find it in the presence of God. You don't find it from eating more food. You don't find it from alcohol or drugs or illicit sex. Those things may satisfy for a moment but like sugar, they give you a quick high and then a quick drop.

Dannah: This is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, author of Surrender: The Heart God Controls, for Thursday, June 2, 2022. I'm Dannah Gresh.

This week we’re in a series called "Surrender: Facing Our Fears." If you missed any of those episodes, you can find them all at ReviveOurHearts.com, or on the Revive Our Hearts app. Nancy has helped us think about what would happen if we truly surrendered everything to God. Maybe you've been thinking, If I did surrender, I'd have to give up all happiness. Here’s Nancy to help us think that through.

Nancy: In our western world, the pursuit of happiness has become one of the highest goods and one of the things we most seek after. I think it's important that we understand as we're talking about surrender to the will of God that God does want us to be happy and that He does want to give us pleasure.

This is something I've had to wrestle with in my own life because I've had, I think, a view of God and His ways that says, "If you're trying to be happy, there is something wrong with you." I've grown up in this environment of thinking about walking with God and surrender to God but that happiness didn't necessarily matter.

 

The problem is not that God doesn't want us to be happy. The problem is that we try to find happiness and pleasure apart from God. In fact, the enemy convinces us that if you really surrender your life to God, if you have a life of abandon and surrender and commitment to God, that you won't be happy. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The older I get and the more I walk with God, the more I realize that walking in trust and obedience is truly the only way to true happiness. I'm experiencing in this season of my life more happiness and joy and pleasure than I ever would have dreamed possible because I'm reaping the benefits and the blessings of years of getting to know God, getting to know His ways, testing Him; falling at times and finding Him to be faithful.

God is a God who wants us to experience pleasure. Now, we can't deny the fact that pain is unavoidable in this fallen world. Suffering is a necessary instrument in our sanctification. Suffering is part of what God uses to mold and to complete and perfect the lives of those that He loves. So when we say, "God wants us to have pleasure and God wants us to be happy," we're not saying that that means, "Therefore, no pain, no suffering, no problems."

The truth is that if you've never had pain and suffering and problems, you could never know true happiness. It is in the midst of the pain and the suffering and the problems that we can find Christ, who is our happiness and our source of true pleasure.

But I want us to understand that God created us to experience intense pleasure and joy. That's important to realize, because the world says, "If you want to have pleasure and joy, you've got to go to the world's wells to find that water. You've got to go to the world's methods and means to find pleasure and joy."

It's important for us Christians to understand that God wants us to experience intense pleasure and joy. The problem is that we're prone to seek that pleasure in things and in people that cannot truly satisfy the deepest longings of our hearts. So we end up settling for less than what is truly satisfying.

I love that quote by C. S. Lewis, where he is talking about the desires that we have. Sometimes we think that our desires are too strong and that's why I'm having troubles living the Christian life. C.S. Lewis said that the problem isn't that your desires are too strong; it's that your desires are too weak. He said,

We are halfhearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition, when infinite joy is offered us; like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased. 

Isn't that true? We find ourselves thinking we'll get our cup filled by shopping, by food and more food and more food, or by alcohol, or by an illicit sexual relationship.

We are receiving letters from some of the younger listeners who are listening to Revive Our Hearts. They are pouring out their hearts about how they thought they could find happiness. Many of these women have grown up in homes where there was just so much pain, so much heartache, so much hurt. They thought, I just want so much happiness. So they thought they could find it in the arms of a young man, but they come away feeling used and violated and guilty and condemned. They didn't find the happiness or pleasure they thought they would find in that relationship.

The problem was: they were looking in the wrong place. They were like a child playing with mud pies in a slum thinking that was the best there was, when God wanted to offer them infinite joy—a holiday at the sea. We need to lift our eyes up and see what it is that God is truly offering to us.

Our hearts can never be truly satisfied with less than God. It is so foolish for us to pursue the world's paltry pleasures when the truth is that God wants to give us His pure, infinite pleasures.

You find this theme all the way through the Scripture. Let me read to you several verses from the Psalms. Psalm 31:19: "How abundant is your goodness, which you have stored up for those who fear you." Just imagine, God has a storehouse of goodness. It's an abundant, overflowing storehouse. He has stored it up for those who fear Him. It's an abundant supply that He wants to lavish on us.

Then Psalm 16:11: "You will show me the path of life; in your presence is fullness of joy. At your right hand are pleasures forevermore." (NKJV) So where do you find the greatest pleasure? Where do you find fullness of joy? Where do you find life to the hilt? You find it in the presence of God.

You don't find it from another shopping expedition. You don't find it from eating more food. You don't find it from alcohol or drugs or illicit sex. Those things may satisfy for a moment but like sugar they give you a quick high and then a quick drop.

But God says, "I want you to have My infinite, pure pleasures. You find those in My presence. I want to provide those for you."

So when you fear that if I really surrender my heart to God, will I be happy? Will God make me do things I don't want to do? Will I have to live in this miserable marriage? There's this fear of "I'm not going to be happy."

Let me say, by the way, that many, many women who thought that they could not be happy single, who thought that they could not be happy without a mate, rushed headlong into a relationship that was not in the will of God. They didn't have their parents' blessing. The young man wasn't a believer. They were not sexually pure. Whatever the circumstances, they thought, This will make me happy.

Now they're writing us letters day after day, pouring out their hearts, crying, and saying, "This is so miserable." They thought they would find happiness. They thought they had to have a husband. They weren't seeking the kingdom of God, the will of God. They were seeking the world's paltry pleasures, and they have ended up in many cases miserable.

Psalm 36:7–8: "How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God! Therefore the children of men put their trust under the shadow of Your wings. They are abundantly satisfied with the fullness of Your house, and You give them drink from the river of Your pleasures." (NKJV) I love that verse. I love that concept—that God offers to us a river of pleasures.

I want to say to you that if you are not a child of God, if you are not surrendered to God, if you have not relinquished control of your life to Him, if you are not letting Him call the shots in your life, there is a river of pleasures from which you cannot drink. God has abundant satisfaction He wants to give to you. There is fullness in His house.

I sometimes think about my life. There have been ups and downs. There have been heartaches. There have been losses and deaths and pain and struggles. I've shared some of those with you in various sessions here on Revive Our Hearts.

But I want you to know, when you add it all up, what God has given me is abundant satisfaction and the fullness of His house. He is letting me drink—this side of heaven—He is giving me a taste of that river of His pleasures.

It doesn't mean life is easy, but it means life is blessed. It's blessed to the degree that I trust and obey. Trust and obey. Even fully surrendered saints sometimes experience sorrow and suffering and struggles. In fact, if you're not experiencing any of those things, you may well wonder if you're really a child of God. God has promised that we will have those sorrows and struggles.

But in the midst of this earthly journey, the joy that Christ offers us lifts us beyond the pain, beyond the hurt, beyond the circumstances and provides us with a river of pleasures, a river of delights. It is just a foretaste of eternal pleasures that we're going to experience in heaven.

We don't have here and now what we will only have then and there. But when God gives us a taste, He allows us to taste of that river of His pleasures. Therefore, we can have joy in every circumstance.

That's how the apostle Paul can say in 2 Corinthians 7, "In all our tribulation, I am overflowing with joy" (v. 4). Think about that! In all our tribulation, I am overflowing with joy. That's how Peter could say in 1 Peter 1:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy, he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade.

[We] are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice [in what? in looking ahead to what you cannot see now] though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.

These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes, even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. (vv. 3–7)

And then 1 Peter 1:8:

Though you have not seen [Jesus], yet you love him; and though you do not see him now, you believe in him and you are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your life: the salvation of your souls. (vv. 8–9 NIV)

You say, "If I surrender control, if I relinquish control, will I be happy? Will I have pleasure?" You bet. With it, there will be sorrows. Those will shape and sanctify you. But in the midst of those sorrows, in the midst of the tears, in the midst of the losses, there can be an inexpressible and glorious joy found only in the presence of Christ—not found through any other means, in any other place.

You want true joy? You want the pleasures of a lifetime, the pleasures of God for eternity? Trust and obey.

Dannah: Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth will be back in just a minute. Are you seeing how surrender to God and happiness can actually go together? Maybe until this series you've never thought about the concept of surrender. Do you see how it’s central to a life with Christ? When we surrender to God, it affects every decision we make. It allows us to trust Him and walk in freedom without fear.

If you’d like to learn more about this topic, you’ll want to check out our new booklet titled, Facing Our Fears: Finding Him Faithful. It’s full of promises from God’s Word with content taken from Nancy’s book Surrender, and it includes bonus material such as ways to pray through your fears, practical tips for praying Scripture, and reflection questions to help you go deeper. This booklet is yours when you give any amount to Revive Our Hearts. I’ll share the details of how you can get your copy at the end of today’s episode. Now, let’s get back to Nancy.

Nancy: We've been talking about different fear issues we have when it comes to letting God be in control. By the way, it's not a matter letting God be in control; God is in control. It's a matter of our acknowledging that He is in control. Isn't it foolish of us to think that we could be in control, because we're not ever for a moment in control.

One of the greatest fears that mothers face, of all those fears, we've talked about the fear of provision, will I have what I need? Pleasure, will I be happy? Today we come to a fear which particularly I find in mothers, and that's this matter of protection. Will I be safe; but more than that, will the ones I love be safe?

If I really give my family to God, will they be safe? Will they be secure? Will they be protected? You know as mothers, and even if you're not a mother, you know we can't keep other people safe. We can't keep things from coming into their lives that are hard, painful, and difficult.

But there's that fear of what's going to happen if I really relinquish control. If I stop fretting and fussing and worrying and relax. That doesn't mean that if you're a good mother, you won't watch after your children carefully.

But there has to be this sense of realizing that God is their keeper, that God is the only One that can keep them safe, not only physically, but even in more crucial ways and that is in terms of their heart condition.

As we've been seeing, the Scripture has promises to counteract all of our fears. I love many of the promises about God being our protector. Psalm 46:

God is our refuge and strength. He is a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth gives way, though the mountains be removed into the heart of sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains tremble at its swelling. (vv. 1–3 NKJV paraphrased)

Why? Because we have a refuge and that refuge is a Person. It is a God who is a personal God. Our God is a refuge. He's called a fortress, a shelter, and a strong deliverer to His children.

One of the most wonderful passages in Scripture about God's protection is in Psalm 91. If you're not familiar with this psalm, this may be one you want memorize or meditate on. Many verses in this psalm talk about God's amazing protection.

Beginning there in the early part of Psalm 91:

I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
My God, in whom I trust. . . ."
He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you will find refuge;
His [faithfulness] will be your shield and [rampart].
You will not [fear] the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day,
Nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
Nor the [plague that destroys at midday.]" (vv. 4-6 NKJV)

In other words, these things are going to come, but you will not have to live in fear because you will know that God is protecting you in the midst of the danger. Just keep in mind that God doesn't promise, "If you trust Me, you'll never face danger," but He does say that those who take refuge in Him are placed in His care and under His protection.

Can I remind you that security is not something the government can provide for us? It's not something that guns and weapons can provide for us ultimately. Ultimate security is not the absence of danger, but it's the presence and the protection of Christ in the midst of the danger.

 

It'll help us to keep the long-term in view here as we realize that, okay, if they take our lives, if you're a child of God, you're still protected because there's an eternal safety and protection. We have to have God's eternal view in mind or we will get disillusioned and discouraged as we see what happens here on earth.

There's another thing that I think many of us fear as we think about really surrendering control of our lives to the Lord, and that's this matter of personal relationships. Will I have friends? Will my relational needs be met? Will my emotional needs be met?

Here again, He has given us a promise that counteracts our fears. God has promised in Hebrews 13:5, "I will never leave you; I will never forsake you." In Matthew 28:20 Jesus said, "I am with you always, to the end of the age." (NASB)

"I am with you." He has vowed to remain with us and to be our constant companion wherever we go, whatever we do. I love this. Throughout the Scripture it's one of the great threads of the Word of God.

Whenever one of God's children was fearful to step out alone or to proceed with God's will and felt like they didn't have human support"¦it happened to Moses. It happened to Joshua. It happened to Ezekiel. Over and over again, God's simple response was, "I will be with you."

I. Will. Be. With. You. I don't that know there are any five more precious words. The implication is for us as well: "I am enough. If you have Me, you have everything you need." So, the man or woman who trusts God's promises can say with the psalmist in Psalm 73, "Whom have I in heaven I but You? And beside You there is nothing, there is no one upon earth that I desire."

Now, that's all nice in terms of theology, in terms of thinking, Okay, I have God; He's supposed to be enough. But our emotions tell us sometimes, "I want someone human to love me. I want a husband. I want a companion. I want a friend. I want a best friend. I want my parent to love me as opposed to rejecting me."

We have to grapple with that as children of God. We need to recognize that sometimes God leads us into solitude for a season. There are times when He knows that we won't really cherish Him as our friend and companion if we have lots of other people filling the empty places of our hearts.

Let me also say that God wants us to have relationships with other people, and an intimate relationship with God is the best basis for rich, intimate relationships with other people. When we're one in Christ, whether it's in your marriage or in your relationship with your parents or your children or people in your church, to have oneness in Christ is what will allow you to have the greatest oneness and intimacy with others.

Whatever your fears, whatever the unknowns or the challenges in your life as it relates to each of these areas, remember that God has a promise. He has promised to provide for you. He has promised to share His pleasure with you. He has promised to protect you, and He has promised to give you His enduring presence.

I've told you before that I love reading biographies because they illustrate in the lives of these people so many of the ways of God and so much of the heart of God. One that I discovered is the story of Lilias Trotter. Her story is written up in a book called A Passion for the Impossible.

Lilias Trotter was born in the mid-1800s to a wealthy Victorian family in England. She was a young woman who had a lot of artistic ability. When she was a young girl, she was able to start studying under one of the most renowned artists of the day named John Ruskin. He recognized that she had unusual talent. He had plans for this young woman. She was going to be his protégé. She was going to be the next great artist.

But Lilias Trotter had a heart for the Lord and was sensitive to His leading and His plan in her life. She became interested in social work. She began to minister to prostitutes, something that for a girl from a wealthy Victorian family was not a normal thing to do. Then at the age of thirty-four, she heard a missionary speaker from Algeria and Lilias sensed that God was calling her to take the gospel to Africa.

So, she did. She moved to Algeria. This was a Muslim country, and she went as a single woman. For forty years she served there in a faithful ministry, where God gave her a lot of opportunities to use her talents. She would draw pictures of the scenery and the people and the beauty of the land and would use those pictures to introduce Muslims to the gospel of Jesus Christ. She had a very effective ministry for many years.

During Lilias' ministry she wrote for a period of time a letter to missionaries that would help them understand how better to serve the Lord in their country. In one of those letters she said,

How many of us have said and sung with all our hearts the song "Anywhere with Jesus"? [The song talks about how I'll go anywhere that he leads me.] But at the time, we did not realize what it meant for us. Indeed, at home and surrounded by all that home means, we could not know. When the test comes, we must not forget that anywhere means for missionaries something different from life in England, and let us take very good care not to make a misery of anything that anywhere brings us.

In other words, when you go anywhere with Jesus, don't make a misery out of what comes along with where He takes you. She said,

To us in Algeria, anywhere with Jesus must mean different food. Do we object to it? And mice! Do we mind them? And mosquitoes. Do we think them dreadful? In some parts, it means close contact with dirt and repulsive disease. Yet, if Jesus is there—anywhere with Jesus—what have we possibly to complain of? It means living among a stiff-necked and untrue people and struggling with a strange and difficult language. Anywhere with Jesus and we shall be glad. 

"Anywhere with Jesus I can safely go" is how that song goes.

As you know that you're there under the leadership of the Word of God and the Spirit of God, then you can know that you're with Jesus, that you are safe because underneath are the everlasting arms. He will be your provision; He will be your protection; He will be your pleasure, and He will be your ever-present friend. Anywhere with Jesus we can safely go.

Dannah: What a great reminder! We're safe when we're with Jesus, and He is always with us. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth has been walking us through four common fears that keep us from surrendering our whole selves to God.

Pop quiz! Do you remember what they are? Fears about provision, pleasure, protection, and personal relationships. We can face our fears when we think about what it truly means to surrender to Christ.

That’s what the booklet I told you about earlier, Facing Our Fears: Finding Him Faithful is all about. You can get your copy of that resource when you give a donation of any amount to support Revive Our Hearts. It’s our way to say “thanks” for your support in helping us reach women with the truth about Jesus. Visit ReviveOurHearts.com, or call us at 1-800-569-5959 and ask for your copy of Facing Our Fears.

It's wise to read the fine print before we sign up for something, right? But when we come to God, we're required to agree to His terms even if we don't know what they are. We sign a blank contract. We'll hear more about that tomorrow. I hope you’ll be back for Revive Our Hearts.

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is calling you to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.  

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