Skip to main content
When they arrived at Jerusalem, they were welcomed by the church, the apostles, and the elders, and they reported all that God had done with them. Acts 15:4
In the fall of 1986, my friend Michael Hyatt and I sat down to talk about the future. We had worked together for five years and then for two different companies in two different states. We had enjoyed mutual esteem and respect, so we decided to start a business together—as co-owners, which included both of us placing all our earthly resources into one bucket. We decided to go for it.
Over the next few years, Mike and I built a successful company that some said was one of the leading enterprises in our industry. The bottom line of our venture was undeniable: Mike and I could not have done this without each other. The skills, abilities, and experiences we each enjoyed were brought to the table and used in full measure. We built our company on the buddy system, helping, supporting, and encouraging each other along the way. It was great.
Paul and Barnabas were colleagues, and even though they didn’t see things the same way, they were committed to working together, and they were successful. Their efforts “brought great joy to all the brothers and sisters . . . [because] they reported all that God had done with them” (vv. 3–4). What Paul and Barnabas had done as a team, they couldn’t have done separately. It was a New Testament version of the buddy system in action.
After sixteen years of working together, Mike and I, just like Paul and Barnabas, went our separate ways. We had been called to new endeavors—ones that no longer included working with each other—but like Paul and Barnabas, we parted as friends, colleagues who were glad that God had allowed us to multiply our efforts by working as a team.
Outside the support of your family, God does not desire that you live your life solo. He does not want you to face your vocation and your future by yourself. Your experience of God’s grace is a one-on-one deal between you and your Master, but this task of making it successfully through life is a whole different thing. You need a buddy.
Several years ago, I had the privilege of spending a few hours with Dr. Neil Clark Warren, a successful Christian psychologist and founder of eHarmony. He told me that when he meets with new clients, he always asks the same question to open their conversation: “Tell me about your three closest friends.”
Dr. Warren said that most women quickly jump into their answers. “Let’s see, well, there’s Donna and Cindy and Julie, and I have to say Betty. And oh, you said three. Only three? I can’t limit it to just three.” Most men, on the other hand, sit there staring at their new therapist for a few moments. “What exactly do you mean ‘closest friends’?” they stammer.
You and I are busy. Our lives are filled to the brim with obligations and tasks. Finding and keeping close friends—men who really know who we are, men who are really committed to us, men who really love us enough to tell us the truth about ourselves—are a rarity. It’s a shame but it’s true.
Don’t do this thing alone. Don’t try to face life in isolation. Be Paul and find a Barnabas. Be me and find a Mike. This buddy system is terrific. Ask most any woman you meet—she’ll know.