Yielded to the Holy Spirit

Dannah Gresh: So, here in the U.S., if you’re driving along and you see a red and white, triangle-shaped traffic sign, you know what that means, right? 

(pause) 

That’s right. It’s a yield sign. In fact, to help you know what it means, they put upper-case letters in the middle of the sign—letters that spell out Y-I-E-L-D (for people like me). 

So if you see that sign, say, as you’re merging onto another street, you need to yield. You’re gonna have to let that semi-truck drive past first. 

[truck passes by]

But it also means you’re going to need to yield the right-of-way to . . .

[beep-beep] 

. . . Grandma on her scooter!

[scooter drives off]

She looks good in her goggles and leather jacket, don’t ya think? 

But today we’re not gonna be talking about traffic laws and right-of-ways and cute, adventurous, little old ladies, as fascinating as that subject might be. No. We’re going to talk about yielding to the Holy Spirit.

Welcome to Revive Our Hearts Weekend. I’m your host, Dannah Gresh.

Today’s lineup includes Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Mary Kassian, and a couple who were married for more than half a century that are now with Jesus.

So the question is: What or who is controlling your life? Or even more thought-provoking: What or whom are you allowing to control your life? To whom are you yielding?

Here’s the passage we’ll be soaking in. It’s Ephesians chapter 5, verse 18. But I’m gonna read verses 15–20 so you get a feel for the bigger context. Paul wrote, 

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. [and here’s our verse]

And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Good stuff! Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is the co-author of a study on experiencing the joy of personal revival. The study is called Seeking Him. One of the chapters in Seeking Him is on the "Spirit-Filled Life." Let’s listen as she explains this idea of being filled with the Holy Spirit.

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: In Ephesians chapter 5—you’re all familiar with this verse—we are to be filled with the Holy Spirit of God—to “Be filled with the Spirit” (v. 18). To “be filled with the Spirit,” simply means to be under the control of the Holy Spirit; for every part of my life to be dominated by and under the influence of the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit filling every part of me—not just a compartment of my life that is “Sundays/church time/ministry time,”—but when I’m in the workplace, when I’m sitting at my computer working, when I’m with my family, when I’m on vacation, when I’m playing, when I’m reading. All day long, every part of my life is to be permeated, filled with the influence, the fragrance, the effects, the work of the Holy Spirit in my life.

To be filled with the Holy Spirit. Think about somebody who has been caught for driving under the influence of alcohol—DUI—under the influence. What is true of the person who’s under the influence of alcohol? They’re under its control.

When they’re under its control, they become a different person. They start to do things they would not otherwise do if they weren’t under the control of alcohol. It makes them do things that are out of character with who they are generally and naturally. They’re under the influence of alcohol.

To be filled with the Holy Spirit is to be under the control—the influence not of a negative substance like alcohol, but the Holy Spirit of God.

That is why Paul uses this word picture—actually it’s a word picture of drunkenness in Ephesians chapter 5, when he talks about being filled with the Spirit. He says, “Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled [drunk, under the influence, controlled] with the Spirit.”

I'm afraid when we preach this verse today or when we think about it in the church, we tend to emphasize the first part. "Don't get drunk with wine. Drunkenness—that's bad. It's wrong. It's serious. It's sinful." Everyone agrees with that.

Then we treat the second part like an add on: "But be filled with the Spirit." I have to say that I've seen far more damage done in the church of Jesus Christ by “un-Spirit-filled” Christians, if I could coin that term, than I think has probably ever been done by drunks.

Drunks are not having a whole lot of negative impact on most of our churches. There are people who struggle with alcohol (and I don't mean to diminish the significance of that issue), but I'm saying that a huge issue in our churches and in our Christian lives is that we are not filled with the Holy Spirit.

That creates havoc. That's what creates disunity and conflict and emptiness and shallowness and hypocrisy and all the things that the world looks at the church and says, "Who wants that?" Because the people in our churches are not being filled with the Holy Spirit of God.

If you are not filled with the Holy Spirit—if you take this command lightly or you ignore it or you gloss over it or you don't stop to think about it or to obey it, if you're not filled with the Holy Spirit—you will do great damage to the church of Jesus Christ.

It is not just about your life. It is about the impact of the whole Body of Christ. This is a command: “be filled with the Holy Spirit.”

To be filled with the Holy Spirit is not as some suggest. It's not an ecstatic, mystical experience. It's not a one-time experience. It's not, "Oh, yes, I was filled with the Spirit back in 1985, and I've lived like a heathen ever since."

“To be filled with the Holy Spirit,” means being filled perpetually, continually, for all of your life, 24-7—being filled under the influence of the Holy Spirit. It's a way of life—always under His control and His influence.

I would just ask even at this moment, "Are you filled with the Holy Spirit?" You say, "I don't feel anything." Being filled with the Holy Spirit is not a matter of feelings; it's a matter of faith. Are you allowing the Holy Spirit to permeate, to control you? Are you saying “Yes,” to Him? Are you following His influence? Are you filled with the Holy Spirit?

You say, "Well, yes, it's not so hard while I'm sitting in here today, listening to you teach the Word."

Let me ask you this:

• Were you filled with the Holy Spirit when you left home this morning?
• Were you filled with the Holy Spirit when you talked to your mate this morning?
• Were you filled with the Holy Spirit last night when you were dealing with that issue with your children?
• Are you filled with the Holy Spirit in your workplace?
• In your church?
• In your relationships?
• In your private time?
• In what you're eating?
• In what you're drinking?
• In what you're saying?
• Are you being filled with the Holy Spirit?

It's something we need to always be conscious of, consciously, constantly, consistently, “Be filled with the Holy Spirit.”

Dannah: A great reminder from Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. 

If you’re a believer, if you have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, you have the Holy Spirit living in you. But are you full of Him? Is He controlling your life? 

That’s the question. 

Mary Kassian says one way to tell if the Holy Spirit is controlling your life is by paying attention to what’s coming out of your mouth. Actually, Mary Kassian wasn’t the first to say that. Jesus said, “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” What’s inside is what comes out when you’re jostled. 

Let’s listen to Mary Kassian.

Mary Kassian: This was a verse that I memorized before we got married, and it has served me well.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. [And what you put on . . .] Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (vv. 22–25, 29–32)

Did you notice how much of the putting off and putting on pattern of exchange involves our patterns of speech? It's huge. The number of times that the issue of speech is addressed in these passages.

The verse that really hits me between the eyes is verse 30: "And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption." Have you ever considered that unkind, ill-tempered speech actually grieves God's Holy Spirit? Just let that sink in for a moment.

When you are bitter, when you have animosity, when you are demonstrating outrage or antagonism, irritation, when you are yelling at someone or your feathers are all ruffled or rankled, when you demonstrate petulance or indignation or tantrums . . . all these types of speech grieve God's Holy Spirit. The word "grieve" means "to afflict with sorrow, to offend, to cause pain, anguish, and distress."

We grieve God's Holy Spirit when we use our mouths the wrong way, when we speak words that tear down instead of build up. So when you snap your husband's head off, or when you bitterly complain about your mother-in-law's quirks, or when you say something nasty about your neighbor or you criticize your brother or sister, or when you talk about your boss behind her back, you grieve the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit wants us to exchange bad speech habits for good ones. He provides everything we need for digging out the bad stuff and replanting our gardens with good, healthy, beautiful things. Verse 29 is key, "Let no corrupting [or unwholesome] talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

So the standard for the type of speech, for the type of things you want to plant in your garden, there are characteristics of the type of speech that God's Holy Spirit is happy with, the type of speech that makes Him smile.

The first is that it is wholesome and healthy. The language Paul uses is very descriptive. The Greek word for unwholesome, sapros, refers to that which is corrupt or foul. It was used of rotten fruit, vegetables, and other spoiled food, like stinky, rotten fish.

Wholesome words are like good fruit. They are healthy and unblemished. There isn't even a hint of rottenness in them.

The word describes any kind of speech that stinks or is disgusting to God. The type of speech that stinks or is disgusting, that grieves the Holy Spirit, is any kind of communication that spreads decay, anything that is harmful, anything that is unwholesome—whether it's abusive or harsh language, whether it is vulgar or crass jokes, slander or contemptuous talk, or angry, attacking words or words that injure others.

The Lord wants our words to be wholesome in every way—nothing rotten or stinky in our speech gardens. He just wants healthy plants that produce healthy fruit that smells good and is sweet to the taste. Instead of being rotten, our speech should be "always full of grace, seasoned with salt" (Col. 4:6). Salt preserves. It flavors. It prevents decay. The image is the opposite of that unwholesome, rotten, stinky type of words that grieve the Spirit of God.

Dannah: I don’t know about you, but I sure don’t want my words to grieve the Holy Spirit. Thank you, Mary Kassian, for helping us think through what makes Him sad.

This program is part of our emphasis, here in the month of April, on surrendering to God. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth wrote a book on that topic. It’s titled Surrender: The Heart God Controls. You have the option of receiving it as a thank-you for your gift of any amount to support the ongoing outreaches of Revive Our Hearts. So here’s how you can get Nancy’s book on surrender. Go to ReviveOurHearts.com/Donate, make a donation of any size, and let us know you’d like to receive the book. It’s that simple. 

Now, to close our program today, let’s head back to Ephesians chapter 5. There the apostle Paul tells us that walking in love and being filled with the Spirit will affect every area of life, every relationship. 

That includes the marriage relationship. We’re going to reach way back in our archives and pull out a conversation Nancy had with two dear saints who have since gone on to be with the Lord. 

Nancy got to know Ray and Anne Ortlund when she was in college. Ray was the pastor of the Lake Avenue Church in Pasadena, California, where Nancy attended.

Years later, and not too long before Ray went home to be with the Lord, they recorded this conversation. Anne had just mentioned the importance of a wife allowing her husband to lead in their marriage. Here’s Nancy, with Ray and Anne Ortlund

Nancy: I’m thinking of the woman who says, “Well, if my husband were Ray Ortlund, I could treat him that way, but my husband isn’t. My husband is irresponsible. He’s not working hard. He’s not providing for our family. He’s crude. He’s rude. He doesn’t talk respectfully to us. How am I supposed to live out that kind of attitude toward my husband.”

Anne Ortlund: The Holy Spirit is the only One who can make a person good. The wife cannot shape him up. It’s God’s business to make him good. 

Pastor Ortlund: You know how Ephesians five, before it talks about the home and the wife respecting and honoring her husband and obeying her husband, it’s preceded by, “Be filled with the Holy Spirit” (verse 18).

You cannot have an Ephesians five kind of marriage without the Holy Spirit.

Anne: That’s the prelude. That’s the presupposition to a good marriage.

Pastor Ortlund: A woman can say, “Lord, my husband is just like Nancy’s described. I am stuck. I’m caught.” Maybe she needs to look at Ephesians 5, verse 18, where it says, “'Be filled with the Spirit,' and dear woman, I will do for you what you never dreamed I could do.”

Like 1 Peter chapter three says that the wife by her own life will lead her husband into areas he never knew he could be.

Anne: I’m looking at that right now. First Peter 3:1–5:

Let the wives, even if their husbands aren’t spiritually very far along or don’t even know Him yet, they can be won over without words by the behavior of their wives through their purity and reverence and meek and quiet spirit.

Nancy: Ray and Anne, you have been such a gracious model of those kinds of Scriptures and have demonstrated that it really is possible to have a marriage where both partners are filled with the Spirit and are walking in love and respect and honor toward each other.

So I thank you for your faithfulness—fifty-six years of God’s grace in your lives. What an example you are to so many younger marriages. I’d like to just close this time by asking, as you close your day praying, would you just close this program as a married couple by praying for our listeners.

Maybe the woman who’s really struggling to love and respect her husband or the husband struggling to love his wife. Would you pray for our listeners and ask God’s blessing upon the marriages represented, that God would be glorified in those marriage?

Anne: O Lord, You know this precious listener who is right now praying with me and with us. Lord, open her heart to Yourself. Humble her to see that everything is not his fault, that she is not the righteous one in this situation.

O Lord, give her a sense of humility before You, of brokenness, of understanding that if You don’t do something new, it won’t be done.

May she look to You, Father, for the filling of the Holy Spirit in her life that will give blessing to her husband and that will save that marriage. Lord, help her to hang in there out of obedience to You, to be committed to him.

Lord, I praise You and thank You for the listener who is getting a new sense of hope. Everything’s been so tough. Lord, will You put Your nail-scarred hand on this dear one.

And Lord, may the love of Christ come into her for her husband and for her place in the home, for her children, for all the things that demand so much.

And Lord, help her right now to pray, “Make my life a miracle.” Will You do that dear God, in the power of the Holy Spirit and in the name of Christ? Amen.

Dannah: Amen. I have always loved Ray and Anne Ortlund. That was them speaking with Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth. Such sweet people . . . now home with the Lord.

Thanks for listening today. I trust your day has been enriched by the thought of yielding control to—or being filled with the Spirit of God. It will make all the difference in your world on a minute-by-minute basis.

Next week we’ll turn our attention to moms. That’s right, Mother’s Day is just a couple of weeks away. I hope you’ll join us again. 

I’m Dannah Gresh. We’ll see you next time for Revive Our Hearts Weekend.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

*Offers available only during the broadcast of the podcast season.