Tell Yourself What’s True

This episode contains portions from the following programs:

"Talk to Yourself"

"Jennifer Rothschild, Day 2"

"The Truth about Emotions"

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Dannah Gresh: As women, well, we do quite a bit of talking in our lifetimes. And yes, we talk to other people, but consider this: we also talk to ourselves. 

I have a question for you, "When you’re in your own head, are you telling yourself the truth . . . or sometimes, could it be you’re lying to yourself?" 

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth invites us to counsel ourselves with God’s Word, quoting Martyn Lloyd-Jones. 

Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth: We must talk to ourselves instead of allowing "ourselves" to talk to us!

Jennifer Rothschild proposes a thought closet clean-out. 

Jennifer Rothschild: We stay in the Word, so that our thought closets are flooded and immersed by the truth, so that we’re wardrobed with truth.

Dannah: And I offer a little advice of my own:

"… I had put His Word in me, then I could put it on me. But I had to do the work of it, sisters."

I’m your host, Dannah Gresh, and you’re listening to Revive Our Hearts Weekend. 

Well friend, the results are in. Women talk more than men. I asked Chat GPT, so it must be really true. Over a typical lifespan, your average woman will speak 15.2 million more words than your average man. We’ve got talking down to a science! We like it. We do it . . . alot!

But I’ve been thinking, this is only calculating the words we speak. I think it pales in comparison to the conversation that happens almost every waking moment in our minds. 

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel like my thoughts are running away with themselves. I feel like I’m not in control of the conversation happening in my own head. But there’s a way to reclaim control. Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth says it’s to talk to ourselves, to counsel ourselves, instead of allowing “ourselves” to talk to us. 

And she didn’t just make this up. It’s a concept straight from God’s Word, in Psalm 42. In that chapter, we find a man who is counseling his own soul with the truth. Here’s Nancy to tell us more.

Nancy: He says in verse 5, “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me?” Why are you depressed? That's the cast down, the bowed down. “Why are you disquieted?” That word we said earlier this week was “tumultuated.” “Why are you fretting and frantic and doubting? Why?” He asks himself this question.

Then he tells himself; he counsels himself. He says, “Hope in God.” He's not telling somebody else this. Now the time will come when he can tell somebody else, but he's telling himself, “Soul, hope in God. Yes, I know it doesn't seem like there's any hope. Yes, I know the circumstances are overwhelming. Yes, there doesn't seem to be any end in sight for these problems. Yes, I know there's no one around here to cheer you up and encourage you. You feel very alone. Nonetheless, hope in God.” That's how he counsels himself. Then he says, “For I shall yet praise Him For the help of His countenance” (v. 5).

Verse 11, “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him. The help of my countenance and my God.” And then a third time, verse 5 of chapter 43, “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God. For I shall yet praise Him. The help of my countenance and my God.”

Now perhaps you're wondering, as I have as I've meditated on this passage, why does he say virtually the same thing three times? You know why? Because he needs it again and again and again!

You know what? He's not the only one who needs it again and again and again. Don't you find sometimes you have to not only talk to yourself and counsel your heart, but you have to keep doing it? I have found numerous times in my life that I have to just keep going back and telling my heart what I know is true.

Some of you have heard me share about the first year when we launched Revive Our Hearts. I didn't know at the time, prior to that year, when we made the schedule for that year, we didn't know we were going to be starting a daily radio program. So we already had multiple conferences booked. We had a full year scheduled. I was writing books, and the year was full.

Then we added radio—daily radio. We recorded in that first year, I think, 320 programs, and I hardly knew how to turn my radio on, much less how to do radio. In the midst of that year, for about fifteen months, actually, I felt constantly overwhelmed. I felt, most of the time, like I was in this huge ocean with a tsunami—just a tidal wave coming over me again and again and again. I just, for months, felt like I could hardly breathe.

Yet I knew that God had called us into this. I knew I was there by God's appointing. I had no doubt. Really not for a moment did I doubt that God is the One who had led me into this. But I honestly had many moments when I did not think I would live to tell about it. I didn't think I could survive this. I mean, it was just overwhelming, and I found myself having repeatedly to counsel my heart according to the truth of God's Word—to go back to the things that I know to be true: about God, about His calling, about His grace. His grace is sufficient for you. His grace is sufficient for me.

I just had to keep counseling my heart. I would go back to the promises of God, to the Word of God over and over and over again. It's during this time that I finished writing the book Lies Women Believe. If you've read that book, you know that the last chapter is just a list of truths that we need to remember, that counter the lies.

We put those truths on a little bookmark, and I found myself needing to go back repeatedly to just read those truths out loud. God will not lead me anywhere that He will not supply grace to enable me.

I would just read those truths—read them out loud, counseling my heart according to God's Word, saying to my heart, “Heart, why are you discouraged? Why are you overwhelmed? Hope in God! Don't look at the storm around you. Don't look at the circumstances." I'm telling you, I could counsel my heart that way first thing in the morning in my quiet time and before 10:00 in the morning I was having to counsel my heart again—again and again and again.

The enemy uses deception. He uses storms. He uses distress to overwhelm us, and some of you are living with real life circumstances and situations that are not going away. Mine, the most distressing part of that was about fifteen months long, and then God started to lift the cloud, and I started to see some of the hope and started to feel some of the hope.

But some of you are living in a marriage or with a child with a physical disability or in a financial situation—it's not going away in fifteen months. You're going to be living with that situation maybe for a long time to come. You've got to keep counseling your heart according to the Word of God.

Talk to yourself. Tell yourself the truth. Tell yourself what you know to be true:

God is sovereign. 

God is wise. 

God doesn't make mistakes. 

God loves me. 

God's not going to bring anything into my life except that which would be for my ultimate good. 

Keep counseling your heart according to the Word of God. Tell your heart, “Hope in God.”

Martyn Lloyd-Jones, in commenting on this passage (a great Bible teacher of past generation) says, 

We must talk to ourselves instead of allowing "ourselves" to talk to us! . . . You must say to your soul, "Why art thou cast down"—what business have you to be disquieted? You must . . . exhort yourself, and say to yourself: "Hope thou in God"—instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way. And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, who God is, and what God is, and what God has done, and what God has pledged Himself to do.

Then having done that, end on this great note: defy yourself, and defy other people, and defy the devil and the whole world, and say with this man: "I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance, who is also the health of my countenance and my God." 

As I was meditating on this passage this morning, “Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance,” (Psalm 42:5) my thoughts went to how many other things we look to for hope and for help and how prone we are to look to temporary or earthly solutions to do what may be a Band-Aid but in the long run are not really going to be our deliverance.

Hope in your friends. Hope in your husband. Hope in your health. Hope in Prozac, for I shall yet be glad for the help of my psychotherapist. I mean, isn't that the way a lot of us, as women, are living today? I don't mean to mock anybody or to make fun of anyone. I'm just saying, ultimately, if your hope is in anything or anyone other than God Himself, you are setting yourself up for disappointment.

It doesn't mean friends are wrong. It doesn't mean that there may not be a situation in life where some medication might help deal with some physical symptoms. I'll tell you these issues the Psalmist is dealing with in this passage, issues of doubt and depression and anxiety, ultimately these are issues of the spirit. There is no friend, there is no mate, there is no circumstance, there is no medication, there is no counselor on this earth who can be for you and do for you what God wants to do.

Now God gives us gifts and means of grace and means of encouragement and help, so don't despise those if those are part of the process God brings into your life, but if your hope is in those things, you're going to end up hopeless. Those things may make you feel better. I mean, shopping can do it. Chocolate can do it. A lot of things we can hope in may give you a temporary lift. They may temporarily alleviate some physical symptoms or some emotional symptoms, but in the deepest part of your spirit, if your hope is not in God, then you will not be helped. His countenance, His face, is what is your ultimate hope and help.

Dannah: So good. May our ultimate hope and help be in the truth of God’s Word. We’ve got to preach it to ourselves louder than the lies that creep into our heads uninvited. Our next speaker today calls this process “re-phrasing.” 

Jennifer Rothschild is an author, speaker, Bible study teacher, podcaster, wife, and mom. And let me tell you, she inspires me. She’s been blind since she was fifteen, but that hasn’t hindered her one bit from faithfully serving the Lord. As you might imagine, she’s one busy woman! What you're about to hear is part of a message she gave at past True Woman conference. Her message is called “Your Thought Closet Makeover,” and friend, isn’t that just what we need sometimes? I know I do! Let’s listen.

Jennifer Rothschild: When we as women enter into communities of truth with each other, we need to do it respectfully and with intimacy. What that does for us is it gives us an opportunity then to engage in what I call the third “R.”

First you’re recognizing truth and lies.

Secondly, you’re refusing the lies.

But thirdly, you can’t stop there. You must always re-phrase with truth.

For me personally, one of my issues—and a friend brought it to my attention—was that I was hard on myself. I was a name caller. I will never forget the day I went to get my passport.

Well, for me, it’s kind of difficult to get errands done. I have to plan in advance so I can have somebody to take me, and, of course, I’m paying them to do so. So this particular day I went all the way, thirty minutes across town, waited in the long line, just to find out that I didn’t have the proper paperwork. I decided I would go home, get the proper paperwork. I had the pictures already taken. I set up another appointment with Helen, she was going to drive me.

Well, when the day came, it was a couple of weeks later, I get all the way to the post office, stand in the long line, get right up to the front. I have all the paperwork, but my picture is not there. We leave the post office.

A week later, I make sure I’ve got all the paperwork; I’ve got the picture. It’s all ready. Helen and I carved out some more time, and now my window of opportunity was getting small. I had to get this done in order to leave on time.

Hmmm. I waited in the long line. I hear the very apathetic Federal worker say, “Next.” That was me! I was thrilled. I was finally getting my passport. I handed him all my paperwork. I was, like, proud of myself. I stack it in front of him, and there’s my picture, and he said, staring clearly into the paperwork because his voice was drowning into the desk, “Where’s your birth certificate?”

“It’s there, isn’t it?”

“Nope. You gotta have a birth certificate to get a passport.”

“I know you have to have a birth certificate, sir. It’s there, right?”

“Gotta have a birth certificate to get a passport. Go home and get your birth certificate.”

Well, that’s how I felt. So I leave the post office. I have no idea where the birth certificate was. I’m walking to the car, and I said, “Idiot! What is wrong with you? You can write books, but you can’t get a stinking passport! Everybody knows you’ve got to have a birth certificate. Idiot!”

And I caught myself as that word was dangling at the door of my thought closet. I refused it entry, and I re-framed, re-labeled it, re-phrased it with truth. And here was the truth that I re-labeled it and re-phrased it with: “You’re not an idiot. You’re forty-five and forgetful, but you’re not an idiot. (Laughter) In fact, Ephesians 2 says that you are the absolute workmanship of God, and clearly the workmanship of God has days when they are forgetful, and it’s okay.”

So I, through self-discipline and the grace of God, left idiot outside and ushered in the workmanship.

Now, yes, I got my passport, and I’ve been to Canada twice, and all is well. But the point is this: you can’t just stand at the closet door and leave a lie hanging there because it will work its way back in. You must re-phrase it. You must re-label it with truth so that truthful statement becomes the new habit.

For me, that has pretty much run true. I will say, there are days if I’m not walking in the Spirit, I am fulfilling the desires of the flesh. Unfortunately, the desire of my flesh is to fall back on that old habit of saying lies to myself. That’s just the truth, girls.

Naaman had the opportunity, because of his friends, because of his servants, to make a decision: to speak truth to his soul instead of just hang on to the lies and forfeit his healing. And that’s what he did.

That’s why we stay in the Word. You will never speak truth to your soul if you don’t know truth. So we stay in the Word so that we know truth. We are washed in the river of God’s Word so that we’re healed by that truth, so that our thought closets are flooded and immersed by the truth, so that we’re wardrobed with truth. The result is a woman who’s not only healed but humbled.

There is no more beautiful wardrobe than you can wear than that of the garment of humility. It brings honor to our Father, and it becomes a bridge through which we can enter into other people’s lives. 

I have no idea what’s in your thought closets, and this, clearly has not been an exhaustive look, but this I know: We all have some things in our thought closets that we know doesn’t belong—lies we’ve told ourselves; lies we have been told that we choose to believe; destructive habits of name calling or self-talk that we know do not result in us living the vibrant, free, liberated life we really want.

So I encourage you to do some inventory.

Recognize what is in your thought closet.

Refuse the lies.

Re-phrase or relabel every lie with truth.

The result will be that you will have a thought closet full of truth.

Last verse I want to share with you is Psalm 19, verse 14. Psalm 19:14 is the prayer that my sweet southern grandma used to pray all the time.

She used to always quote to me this verse, and it was her prayer. It might have been, too, that she recognized in her granddaughter a propensity of using words. And, of course, your greatest strength is going to be your greatest weakness. And she’d say to me, “Jennifer, let the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable to Him ‘cause He’s our strength, and He’s our redeemer.”

That’s the verse I want to leave you with because the words of our mouths are not only the ones we speak to each other. The words of our mouths are the ones we speak to our own souls. If we have received Christ, then He should be in the very center of our thought closet, and we do not need to pollute where He is enthroned.

Dannah: Powerful words from Jennifer Rothschild. I love a good closet clean-out, both literally and metaphorically. And I’m with Jennifer—we’ve gotta put on truth! At a True Woman conference, I shared about a time when I practiced clothing myself with the truth of God’s Word, and I’d love to share part of that story with you now.

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I had a really emotional . . . we'll just call it “the great Mexican meltdown” recently. That's what I call them when they're big. Now, I'm not prone to extreme emotional immaturity. I have my moments, but this was like a thick battle.

I don't know if you've ever had one of those days or months or summers where just a lot of things converge, and you come to a breaking point. I came to that point, and I got to a place where I just couldn't think on anything good. All I could think on was all the bad. Have you been there?

I am a woman who can sleep. Nothing wakes me up, and I can sleep long and hard. So when I don't sleep, and when I become sleepless, it is because my emotions have gone out of control.

So I laid down in bed one night, and it was 10:00, and the emotions started to get thick, and the darkness started to make them so pronounced. It just fell on me so heavy.

I remember sitting there and thinking, My life is terrible. I'm a bad mom. I'm a bad wife. I'm a bad teacher. I'm a bad blonde. (laughter) You name it. And the thing is, it was a deep, thick heaviness.

I had to choose to put on what I had already put in me, and I have spent time in my life memorizing Scripture for times like this. But I wasn't using it.

And so I laid there in bed. I can't really show you this . . . I'm laying in my bed and, you know, have you ever been there where just the darkness is heavy, holding you down. Right? And I'm laying in that bed, and the Lord is saying to me, “Put on what you put in you. Put on what you put in you.”

And I'm crying, and I am shaking with fear of the future.

And the Lord says to me, “Hey, a woman of God smiles at the future.”

And I'm, like, “I got nothing to smile about, Jesus.”

I'm searching my memory bank for Scripture, and suddenly . . . I was feeling very sinful, I should mention. (laughter) That's part of it.

And so suddenly, Psalm 130 comes to mind: “If You, O Lord, kept a record of sins, who can stand?” (v. 3 NIV).

And all I could do was whisper it. And I said it over and over. I was, like, “Lord, is this verse going to sink in? Because I think this is the one.”

And then the next thing I knew I was feeling a little bit of it, and so I sat up in the dark, hoping that I didn't wake Bob with my whispers.

(In a whispered voice:) “If You, O Lord, kept a record of sins, who can stand? If You, O Lord, kept a record of sins, who could stand? If You, O Lord, kept a record of sins, who could stand?”

And then I thought, “Okay, I need to say this out loud because maybe—maybe—if my ears hear it clearly, I'm going to start to feel it because I'm not feeling it.”

So I drug myself to the bathroom, and I looked in the mirror. “If You, O Lord, kept a record of sins, who could stand? For with You there is forgiveness and therefore You are feared. My soul waits and in his word I put my hope. O, Lord, more than watchmen wait for the morning” (vv. 3–6 paraphrased).

(Sounds of letting out breath.) And then I felt, like, “I’ve got to say this full out loud.” (laughter)

So I walked downstairs, turned on the fireplace, “If You, O Lord, kept a record of sins who could stand?”

And I felt my backbone straightening. I felt my spirit getting stronger. And then I thought, You know, I need to shout this out loud. (laughter)

So I walked out to my barn. (It was a bit of a temptation, because there were baby goats out there, and that could also help with peace, love, and joy.) And I held a baby goat in my arm. (That poor little thing, because I began to praise the Lord.)

If You, O Lord, kept a record of sins who could stand? But with You there is forgiveness, therefore, You are feared, my soul waits, and on Your word I put my hope. More than watchmen wait for the morning—more than watchmen wait for the morning—put your hope in the Lord for with the Lord is unfailing love and with Him is full redemption. (cheers and applause)

And I want you to know something: I was feeling it. I was feeling the unfailing love. I was feeling the forgiveness. I was feeling the full redemption. Full redemption, Sisters! That is better than Walmart's guarantee. (cheers)

I was feeling it because I had put His Word in me, then I could put it on me. But I had to do the work of it, Sisters. I had to do the work of it, Sisters. You have to do the work of it, Sisters. In the dark night when everything is crumbling in on you, you have to do it.

Now some people would say, “That was just a mantra.”

No, that was the living, active Word of God. It is alive and active, and it works. (applause)

Some people would say, “It's just a crutch.”

And I would say, “It is a crutch that works just fine.” Put it in you so that you can put it on you, and it will control your emotions.

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That’s right, sister. I still believe it! I’m still doing it! Put it in you so that you can put it on you. Take a verse and repeat it until you believe it. Find a barn and yell it if you have to. But whatever you do, don’t let your mind be ruled by your emotions. Jesus is a better master, and He speaks a better word: 

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

If you’d like a resource to help you evaluate your words—both the ones you speak out loud and the ones you speak to yourself—I’ve got good news for you. This month, when you make a donation of any amount, we’d love to send you Nancy’s booklet, The Power of Words. It’s a study from Scripture that explores the connection between your heart and your speech—complete with teaching from Nancy and reflection questions to help you process what you’re discovering. To donate and request your booklet, you can visit ReviveOurHearts.com.

Next weekend, join us as we talk about the greatest story ever—and how to share it with others.

Thanks for listening today. I’m Dannah Gresh. We’ll see you next time for Revive Our Hearts Weekend.

This program is a listener-supported production of Revive Our Hearts in Niles, Michigan, calling women to freedom, fullness, and fruitfulness in Christ.

*Offers available only during the broadcast of the podcast season.