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But Paul went down, bent over him, embraced him, and said, “Don’t be alarmed, because he’s alive.” Acts 20:10
Dr. Meredith Haines was a wise historian and a great professor. His lectures were filled with a wealth of information of eras gone by. I had the privilege of having a class with Dr. Haines in college. Unfortunately, the class was held at 7:30 in the morning, so falling asleep in Dr. Haines’s class was a rite of passage for college freshmen at Taylor University.
One of the traditions of this class was the daily opening prayer. Every day our professor would call on a different student to stand and open the class session with a prayer. Some students were more traumatized by the potential of being called on for this supplication than they were by Dr. Haines’s legendary exams. Many had word-for-word prayers carefully written out and taped just inside their history texts.
School folklore had it that the year before I took this course, one student—we’ll call him Larry—after a particularly dreadful night, had walked into Dr. Haines’s class, slumped into his chair, and immediately fallen asleep. Twenty minutes into the lecture, one of Larry’s “friends” jarred his arm. “Dr. Haines wants you to pray” is all Larry heard. Shooting to his feet, just as the class was getting the lowdown on the Peloponnesian Wars, a tragically unaware Larry abruptly ushered the entire class to the throne of grace. Three sentences into the prayer, everyone figured out what had just happened and exploded in uproarious laughter. Gratefully—especially for the horrified Larry—Dr. Haines also had a sense of humor.
A young man named Eutychus had Larry’s problem. The teacher was the apostle Paul who, at least for one listener, was competing head-to-head with the sandman. On and on Paul spoke. Unfortunately for Eutychus, the sandman won. Eutychus fell asleep sitting on a windowsill and then fell three stories to a tragic death. At this point the situation lost its sense of humor. Imagine how terrible Paul must have felt.
Thankfully, the story has a good ending. Paul quickly ran to the street level, throwing his body on top of the young man’s warm corpse. In an instant Eutychus was miraculously alive again. Paul must have been overwhelmingly relieved.
There are times as dads that our passion to drive our lessons home to our children get a little carried away. Instead of having empathy for our listeners and their needs, we’re on a mission to make our points at all costs. Unfortunately, although our children may still be looking at us, even nodding in agreement, we have lost them a long time before we finish “the talk”—brilliantly conceived though it may be.
Here’s the question: Whose needs are you trying to meet—yours or your kids’? Is finishing this lecture with a stunning and dramatic conclusion more important than making certain your child understands? How effective is your communication with them?
Your kids may not fall asleep on you. They may even seem engaged by your genius. Or they may be in a different time zone. Slow down, back away from the microphone, and listen. If you do this, you’ll be more successful in making those profound points. Your children may not die during your talks, but they may feel like they’re going to. Lighten up. Listen to what you’re saying. Quit preaching and get in touch. Be sure you’re speaking on their level. There’s no doubt that your children will be delighted at this new approach.