Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good morals.” 1 Corinthians 15:33
“I’m not affected by outside forces,” I heard the man boast. “Nobody tells me what to do. I know who I am and what I want. I’m a self-made man.”
I heard this speech at a plumbing supply company in Waco, Texas. As I was standing in line to order a few hundred feet of one-inch PVC, this swashbuckling loudmouth was delivering his mindless soliloquy.
Well, I silently argued, you certainly are the exception. Most of the people I know are deeply influenced by their surroundings, including me.
Over the years I have come to really believe what I thought that day, especially since I spent a few years in the advertising business. Every year I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to put my products in front of potential buyers. Through research, I knew that if I could get someone to look at my stuff, a certain percentage of them would buy it. These people—educated, self-motivated, and bright though they might have been—were profoundly influenced by outside forces.
And just in case you need one more nudge on this one, think of the untold millions of dollars spent on television advertising during the Super Bowl. Companies invest— they do not spend—all this money to capture our attention for mere seconds. For them, this is a wise expenditure because they know how easily we can be influenced.
The apostle Paul summed it up in just a few words. “Bad company corrupts good morals” (v. 33). For you and me, the implications of this are simple. If we surround ourselves with people who aren’t like what we want to be, we’re looking for trouble. If thirty seconds of our attention is worth millions of dollars, what are years of bad company worth?
You and I cannot go anywhere without finding ourselves in the crosshairs of someone’s marketing investment. This is impossible to avoid. And what about our children? How much does external persuasion influence them? What do we do when they bring home questionable friends—bad company? First, if it hasn’t already happened, you can be certain that this is going to happen. The natural temptation for most parents in this situation is to distance themselves from this friend and, in the process, from their own child. Don’t do this.
“You don’t even know who my friend is” will be the strongest complaint from your daughter or son. And they have a good point. So do your best to get to know your child’s friend. With your child present, ask the friend questions about things he or she enjoys doing, significant past accomplishments, and dreams for the future. Try to pick up clues about this person’s motives and character. As much as you are capable, do not interrogate. Ask questions just as you would of someone your own age. Ask these questions in front of your child. And do it kindly, maybe over ice cream.
This will give your child a snapshot of this person’s character. It will give them clues as to who this friend really is. Your one-on-one questions with your child after their friend is gone are appropriate. Your condemnation of the friendship may not be.
You and I and our children are deeply affected by everything around us. The guy in the plumbing supply store could have been a one of a kind, but he probably just wasn’t thinking clearly that day. I hoped he was a good plumber. He needed something going for him.