When the Burden Is Heavy

What’s something hard you’re facing right now?

You might expect this question from a mentor or a close friend. You’re sitting together in your living room or across the table at a coffee shop. After some warm-up conversation, the topics move to something deeper.

So imagine my surprise when a former coworker I hadn’t seen in years asked me this question after just a few minutes of catching up. And, to my surprise, I found myself sharing some of the hard things I’d been experiencing over the past month. 

I hadn’t planned to talk about any of it. I definitely wasn’t planning on sharing anything with anyone at that celebratory event. But somehow, a simple question from someone I hadn’t seen in years prompted me to open up.

As I talked about what had been going on, this woman showed me such compassion and grace. And even though we were interrupted after a few minutes, I walked away feeling encouraged. Later that evening, she messaged me to let me know she would be praying for me and my situation.

That day, I walked into that room weighed down by the heaviness of my struggles. But I left feeling just a bit lighter. As I discovered, sometimes the first step toward having a burden carried is simply admitting that we’re carrying one.

Don’t Carry It Alone

I don’t know why, but so often I have the tendency to hide, minimize, or privately manage my struggles—and I don’t think I’m alone. For some reason, I tell myself that no one else would understand or that there’s something wrong with me because I’m experiencing this. But whenever I’ve chosen to share the struggle, I’ve often found the opposite to be true. And I’ve discovered that telling my story can be a help and encouragement to others.

Galatians 6:2 tells us to “carry one another’s burdens; in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” To bear one another’s burdens doesn’t mean we have to fix one another’s problems. Sometimes it simply means coming alongside someone in the middle of something heavy and saying, “You don’t have to carry this by yourself.”

We can offer a listening ear, acknowledge what that person is going through, and stick with them in it. We can pray and share truth from God’s Word that applies. And we can offer practical support when there’s something tangible we can do.

We don’t usually need someone to come right out and ask if we’re struggling. We already know that we are. But what we may need is someone who makes it safe for us to say so.

Let Someone Help

Sometimes it’s easier to be the one bearing another’s burdens than letting someone help us with ours. We often think of ourselves as the ones who should help other people and can have a hard time receiving help in return. Ever felt like when someone does something for you, you have to return the favor?

But receiving help requires humility—and Scripture repeatedly calls us to walk in humility as followers of Christ (Col. 3:12; 1 Pet. 5:5). In fact, in the book Brokenness, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth lists an independent, self-sufficient spirit as a sign of being a proud person.¹

Galatians 6:2 reminds us that carrying burdens works both ways—we help carry someone else’s burden, and there will be times when they help carry ours. And as Paul mentions throughout his letters in the New Testament, each one of us is part of the Body of Christ. We’re not meant to walk through this life on our own; we’re meant to share one another’s joys and sorrows.

Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. (Romans 12:15)

The Body of Christ isn’t designed so that everyone is always strong for everyone else. There are seasons when we are the ones who need someone to come alongside us—and there are seasons when we get to be that person for someone else.

Who Should You Ask?

In my case, God used someone I didn’t expect to help me with my burden. Our short conversation didn’t fix things, and she won’t be the last person God uses to help me along the way. But her unexpected question has stayed with me. Does God want me to ask someone that same question? Or, if not those exact words, something similar—something that goes beyond the usual “How are you?” and the surface answers that follow.

Who around me might be carrying something heavy that I haven’t noticed?

• That woman at church who always seems to have everything together 
• A friend I haven’t seen for ages but have been meaning to call 
• The relative I only see at Christmas (and maybe weddings and funerals)
• My husband 
• A coworker
• Someone who has been unusually quiet lately

Asking the question doesn’t mean we’re responsible for solving their problems. It simply shows that we care and we’re willing to listen. When we’re quick to listen (James 1:19), share “a timely word” (Prov. 15:23), and encourage one another (1 Thess. 5:11), God can use a conversation in ways we never could have anticipated.

Maybe you’re tempted to think, But I wouldn’t know what to say if someone actually told me what was wrong. It’s true. They might share something heavy, serious, well beyond your scope of knowledge or understanding.

But you don’t need a degree in counseling or even the perfect words. You simply need a willingness to care, listen, and show them the love of Jesus in that situation. Sometimes our greatest gift to a hurting person isn’t an explanation or a solution. Sometimes it’s simply our presence.

Jesus Knows

There’s an important distinction we need to remember: we can carry one another’s burdens, but we can’t carry them completely. We can listen, pray, sit beside someone in their pain, and help in practical ways—but we can’t be what only Christ can be.

People won’t always notice.
They won’t always ask.
They won’t always understand.
But Jesus knows.
He is the only One who sees and understands our burdens completely.

Jesus invites us to come to Him, to tell Him what’s on our hearts and minds—and to entrust it to Him. We see this over and over in Scripture:

Casting all your cares on him, because he cares about you. (1 Peter 5:7)

Cast your burden on the Lord,
and he will sustain you. (Psalm 55:22)

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

People were never meant to be our ultimate burden-bearers. God may use someone else to minister to us in our struggle, but only Christ can sustain us through it. He is the One who knows our burdens completely, cares for us perfectly, and is able to carry what we cannot.

Carry It Together

What’s something hard you’re facing right now?

My coworker’s question may have taken me by surprise, but I’m thankful she asked it. And I’m thankful I was willing to be honest in return.

So let me ask you: What’s something hard you’re going through? Who might you need to be honest with? And who might God be prompting you to ask that same question?

As we help to carry one another’s burdens—and let someone help carry our own—we can show the love of Christ in the midst of something hard.

¹ Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth, Brokenness: The Heart God Revives (Moody Publishers, 2005), 85.