Are you looking for a simple way to connect meaningfully with other women—especially women who are older or younger than you? Me, too. God designed Christian women to influence and encourage one another for His glory: our friendships with one another matter.
The model in the book of Titus is that older women should teach younger women how to live and love:
Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled (Titus 2:3–5).
But that model is sometimes difficult to achieve. In reality, the teaching and learning amongst women in the church does not always meet our anticipations, does it? All relationships—including mentoring relationships—require time, effort, and a certain amount of chemistry to develop and thrive.
Learning to Be Intentional
If an older woman is to teach a younger woman, she must feel equipped for the task. If a younger woman is to learn from an older woman, she must know what to observe, remember, and implement in her daily life. Lately I’ve been wondering how women can pursue these godly relationships with intentionality and fruitfulness.
Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth often interviews older women on the Revive Our Hearts radio program. These women share priceless wisdom that bless countless women around the world.
I’ve often wondered, how does Nancy glean such gold from these godly women?
I’ve discovered that she gleans gold because, she asks great questions.
I downloaded a handful of her interviews and listened for the best questions. This got my own imagination churning, and I developed a list of 100 questions that I’d love to ask another woman. Some of the questions are autobiographical; others are advice-driven. We can learn a great deal from each other if, over time, we discover how we have lived, what God has done in our lives, and what we have learned.
These questions are available to download, print, and use in your own mentoring relationships. Asking one question at a time will help you to discover—and learn from—the gold in another woman's heart.
While you’re at it, get your own answers ready so that when a younger woman sits down next to you with that “teach-me-everything-you-know” twinkle in her eyes, you have somewhere to begin.
- What are some practical bits of advice you can offer concerning a woman's day-to-day life?
- What is your salvation story?
- Tell me about your relationship with the Lord.
- What role does prayer have in your life?
- When and how do you read the Word of God?
- What have you been learning from the Word lately?
- What have you been praying about lately?
- Who are your closest friends? What keeps you close to one another?
- Have you ever had disagreements or tension with friends? How did you navigate that? What brought peace?
- How have you responded to jealousy over the years? Have you ever been jealous of someone else? Has someone else ever been jealous of you?
- What is your favorite hymn?
- What is your favorite verse from the Bible?
- Do you have a hero? Who is it?
- What is your favorite book?
- Have you ever endured a personal tragedy? Tell me about it. How did you survive? What did you learn about God through it? What Scripture helped, or helps, you to survive tragedy or crisis?
- What is the best thing a woman can do in the midst of suffering?
- What must a woman believe in the midst of suffering?
- Have you ever walked with someone else through a season of suffering? How did you love and serve them best?
- What are the most helpful things a woman can do to care for a suffering person?
- How can a woman love a lonely person?
- What is a physical challenge you've endured? What have you learned from that experience?
- Have there ever been times when you thought God wasn't coming through? Times when you struggled with disappointment or doubt?
- What do you miss about the past?
- If you could rewind your life, is there anything you would change?
- What role has church played in your life?
- What are your best memories of the local church?
- How did you, or do you, serve in your local church?
- What are some of the ways a woman can bless her local church and help it to thrive?
- Where do you live now? What is your home like?
- What are some practical ways a woman can "build her home"?
- What have you learned about hospitality over the years? How can a woman make her guests feel valued?
- What are your best tips for inviting guests, preparing food, preparing your home, and investing attention in guests?
- Have you ever interacted with international people? What are your experiences?
- How can a woman reach out and serve international people who are living in the same community?
- What have you learned about loving people who are different than you are?
- What type of hospitality do you like to extend (dinner guests, parties, exchange students, tea time, etc.)? Why has this worked well for you?
- What is your favorite food to serve others in your home?
- Are you or were you ever married? Tell me all about it! How did you meet your spouse? What is/was your spouse like? What are/were you like together?
- How can a woman maintain a great relationship with her husband?
- How can a woman love her husband?
- How can a woman respect her husband?
- How can a woman help her husband?
- How can a woman pray for her husband?
- What is the most important thing a woman can do to bless her husband and build her marriage?
- What is the biggest waste of time in marriage?
- What is the biggest deterrent to marriage?
- Are you a mother? Tell me all about it! Who are your children? How old are they now, and what are their lives like?
- How did/do you pray for your child(ren)?
- How did/do you keep in touch with your child(ren)?
- What were the best things you did when your children were young?
- What were the best things you did when your children were teenagers?
- What were the best things you did when your children were young adults?
- In your opinion, what is the most difficult season of motherhood? How did you survive?
- What is the wisest thing a mother can do for her children?
- What is the biggest waste of time that you see young mothers doing today?
- What did you learn through motherhood that you wish you had known earlier on?
- What is God teaching you lately about motherhood?
- How can a woman best love and nurture her children?
- What were you like as a child?
- What was your family like?
- How did your mother and father impact you the most?
- Over the years, what has it meant for you to honor your mother and father?
- What were you like when you were my age? What were your strengths? What were your weaknesses? What would you repeat? What would you change from that time in your life?
- Tell me about your formal education.
- Did you/do you have a career? If so, what led you to that field? Tell me about your job.
- If you worked outside the home, how did you balance work and home responsibilities?
- What are the greatest benefits of working outside the home?
- What are the hardships of working outside the home?
- What is/was your relationship with your employer like? How did you get along with your coworkers and/or employees?
- How do you organize your day? What are the best things you do every day?
- How do you care for yourself?
- What are the best things a woman can do to care for her body? Her mind? Her spirit?
- How has the Lord called you to serve others over the years?
- What is the most important thing to keep in mind when serving others?
- What are some ways we can practically love others?
- How can a woman grow in her love for the Lord?
- What are you passionate about?
- What brings you joy?
- How can a woman live her life with a greater degree of intentionality?
- How do you want to others to remember you once you've passed from this life?
- How are you making the most of your life in your current season?
- What practical wisdom can you share regarding money?
- What is your morning routine? What's the best way to begin the day?
- What was your morning routine when you were my age?
- What is your evening routine? What's the best way to end each day?
- What are your thoughts about politics? What are the qualities of a good national leader?
- Did you ever have to "walk by faith and not by sight"? What comes to mind?
- What is the best thing about the younger generation? What is its greatest strength? What is its greatest weakness?
- What can keep you up at night?
- What do you often wonder about?
- What do you often worry about?
- What is your greatest fear?
- Have you ever travelled? Where did you go? What were your experiences?
- Have you ever been involved in a para-church ministry? If so, which one? What role did you play?
- What are your favorite traditions?
- How have you celebrated Christmas over the years? What makes Christmas meaningful to you? What do you love best about it?
- How have you celebrated Easter over the years? What makes Easter meaningful to you? What do you love best about it?
- What's your favorite way to spend your birthday?
- When you reflect on your life, how has God provided for you over the years?
- What are your thoughts about heaven and eternity?
Pray and ask God for direction. Then write down the name of one woman from whom you’d like to learn and the name of one woman you’d like to encourage. How can you take the first step in opening a conversation with each one?