A Pride Test

Series: Humility: Coming to God on His Terms

Leslie Basham: Time for a pop quiz. Here's Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: When is the last time you said these words to a family member, to a friend, to a co-worker, "I was wrong, will you please forgive me?"

Let me tell you, if it's been more than a month, mark it down. Haven't you sinned in a month? When was the last time you said that to your husband? "I was wrong, will you please forgive me?" Why is it so hard for us to say those words? Why? Because we're proud.

Leslie Basham: It's Tuesday, February 1, and this is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Yesterday we started to talk about one of the foundations to revival - humility. How do you know when you're guilty of pride? We'll get a helpful test today and you don't necessarily need a number two pencil, just an open heart.

If you're going through the Seeking Him workbook, today's program relates to Lesson 2, Day 2. Here's Nancy.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: OK, so we've said that humility is the foundation stone, the starting place, for experiencing personal revival as we seek the Lord - coming to see our need for humility. So you say, "OK, I want to be humble. How do I know if I am humble, how do I get there and what do I do about becoming humble?"

Well, let me tell you what C.S. Lewis had to say. He said, "If anyone would like to acquire humility," he said, "I can, I think tell him the first step."

Are you ready for this? Do you want to write it down? The first step is to realize that one is proud. He said, "If you think you're not conceited, it means you are very conceited indeed."

Now I don't think I like that quote, but I think there's a lot of truth to that. Today I want us to take a little test, and I've come up with 40 evidences of pride. Most of these I know best because they are things I can see in different ways in my own heart. Don't try to write all of these down. We'll make this available to you.

But here's what I do want you to do. If you have a paper and pencil, I want you to make just a little tick on your paper, or if you're too proud and concerned about what other people next to you are thinking, do a mental tally.

But I want you to make a note either mentally or on your piece of paper there, as I read through these, which ones does the Spirit of God kind of point His finger in your heart and say, "I see that in you, sometimes, or generally or a lot of the time."

What are some of these characteristics, evidences of pride? This will help us to see areas we need to identify as issues of pride in our lives. I'm going to read through these very quickly so don't try to copy them all down, OK.

Number one, do you look down on those who are less educated, less affluent, less refined or less successful than yourself?

Do you think of yourself as more spiritual than other believers you know?

Here's another one. Do you have a judgmental spirit toward those who don't make the same lifestyle choices that you do? Dress standards, how you school your kids, entertainment standards. If you wonder on some of these, you might want to go ask somebody who knows you really well, "Do I come across that way?"

Here's another one. Are you quick to find fault with others and to verbalize those faults to others? Do you have a sharp, critical tongue? We would call it discerning, analytical but fault-finding.

Jonathan Edwards, by the way, wrote a powerful convicting piece on evidences of spiritual pride and this is one of seven that he listed, fault-finding.

He said, "Spiritual pride causes us to speak of other people's sins while humility disposes us either to be silent about them or to speak about them with grief."

He said, "The spiritually proud person shows that in finding fault with other saints, "They're low in grace, how cold and dead they are, how quick to discern and to notice their deficiencies."

And we can do that and sound so pious, so spiritual. "People in my church, they're so cold; they're so dead." Is that a reflection of pride in our hearts?

He says, "Christian humility causes a person to take notice of everything that is good in others and make the best of it and to diminish their failings."

He said, "The truly humble Christian has so much to do at home and sees so much evil in his own heart that he's not apt to be very busy with other's hearts" - fault-finding.

Here's another one. Do you frequently correct or criticize your mate or your pastor or other people in positions of leadership to them or to others?

Here's another one. Do you give undue time, attention and effort to your physical appearance?

Are you proud of the schedule you keep, how disciplined you are, how much you're able to accomplish? You're a real producer, a real performer. Is that something that you're proud of?

Are you driven to receive approval, praise or acceptance from others?

Are you argumentative? You have to have the last word. Think about what it's been like in your home for the last day or two.

You know Proverbs tell us that only by pride comes contention. So where does contention -- "Yes," you say, "my husband, he's a proud man, that's why we have so much contention in our home."

No, it takes more than a proud husband to have contention in a home. It's a proud husband and more often than not, a proud wife, too. Are you argumentative?

Do you generally think that your way is the right way, the only way or the best way?

Do you have a touchy, sensitive spirit? Easily offended? Do you get your feelings hurt easily?

This is another one of the evidences of spiritual pride that Jonathan Edwards talked about, people who take offense easily. He said, "Spiritual pride takes great notice of opposition and injuries that are received and is prone to be often speaking of them.

"Humility, on the other hand, causes a person to be like his blessed Lord when reviled, quiet, not opening his mouth but committing himself in silence to Him who judges righteously."

How about this one? Are you guilty of pretense? Trying to leave a better impression of yourself than is honestly true? Here's a way to go about seeing if you have that one. Would the people who know you at church be shocked if they were to come and discover what you're like at home?

Another one, do you have a hard time admitting when you are wrong?

Do you have a hard time confessing your sin to God or others? not just in generalities.

We all say, "I need to be a better woman. I need to love the Lord more. I need to read my Bible more." But when it comes to the specific issues: I'm in love with food, I'm in love with television, I love entertainment more than I love God. I mean the specifics. Do you have a hard time confessing those?

Do you have hard time sharing your real spiritual needs and struggles with others?

Are you excessively shy? You say, "shy," that's pride? Excessive shyness, what is it? Self-centeredness, what do other people think about me? That can be an evidence, a subtle form of pride.

Do you have a hard time reaching out and being friendly to people that you don't know at church? Do you stick to your own little group there, hard to reach out to new people? That can be pride.

Do you become defensive when you are criticized or corrected? That anger that wells up, what is that? That's a fruit that grows on the root of pride. Why do we get angry when somebody criticizes us? We may not express it outwardly but inwardly because our pride gets hurt.

Are you a perfectionist? Here's another evidence of pride, perhaps. Everything has to be just perfect and you get impatient and irked with people who aren't. That can be an expression of pride.

Do you tend to be controlling of your mate, of your children, of your friends, people in your workplace? Always trying to control, manipulate, manage the people around you?

Now you probably don't do it consciously. That's why we need to ask the Spirit of God to plow up the ground of our hearts and show us what's really under the surface, and He will do that for us.

Do you frequently interrupt people while they're speaking? The Lord really spoke to me about this one as I was working on this list. I realized what I'm saying when I interrupt you when you're speaking is, "What I have to say is more important than what you have to say."

Does your husband feel intimidated by your spirituality, quote "spirituality"? How well you know the Bible? How easily you can pray? And he feels, I have to go to seminary to measure up to that woman.

It may not be your knowledge that he's reacting to but a spirit of pride, a superior sense that you're communicating, maybe without intending to or even realizing it. Again, you might want to ask him. Does your husband feel like he can never measure up to your expectations? Does he feel like, I just can never be the husband you want me to be?

Do you often complain about the weather, your health, your circumstances, your job, your church?

Do you talk about yourself too much? Are you more concerned about your problems, your needs, your burdens than about other people's concerns?

Do you worry about what others think of you, about your reputation or your family's reputation? By the way, that's one thing that motivates a lot of parenting, isn't it? With mothers [it can be], What are the people going to think if my child is this way? That can be pride.

Do you neglect to express gratitude for the little things, to God, to your mate, to others, an ungrateful spirit? That's pride.

Do you neglect prayer and intake of the Word? How is that pride? Well, I'm saying, "I can live my life without God. I can manage without Him?"

Do you react to rules? And who of us doesn't have a hard time being told what to do? Do we have an issue with authority? That's pride.

And you think, I'm not proud. I don't have anything to be proud of. I don't have any special gifts. I'm not beautiful. I don't have any achievements to be proud of.

You know what? If you're self-conscious about that, that can be a subtle form of pride.

For example, are you self-conscious because of your lack of formal education? You don't have a college degree and you get uncomfortable or intimidated when you're around people who are educated.

Do you avoid participating in certain events for fear of being embarrassed or looking foolish?

Do you avoid being around certain people because you feel inferior compared to them? You feel like you just don't measure up?

Are you uncomfortable inviting people to your home because you don't think it's nice enough? Or you can't afford lavish entertaining?

Is it hard for you to let others know when you need help, maybe practical help or spiritual help? You have an independent spirit. I'm going to do this on my own. I won't let anybody else help me.

And here's a way to measure your pride quotient. When was the last time you said these words, to a family member, to a friend, to a co-worker, "I was wrong, will you please forgive me"?

Let me tell you, "If it's been more than a month, mark it down. Haven't you sinned in a month?" And why is it so hard for us to say those words? Why? Because we're proud.

Let me just throw in this last question. Are you sitting here thinking how many of these questions apply to someone you know? Could that be an evidence of pride?

God spoke through the prophet Obadiah to the people of Edom in that prophet's day. Obadiah, chapter 1, verse 3 and he said, "The pride of your heart has deceived you."

Here's what Spurgeon had to say about that verse. He said, "Pride is self-deceit. Those who are sure that they have no pride are probably the proudest of all. The confidence that we're not deceived may only prove the completeness of the deception under which we labor."

And so we need to say, "Lord, would You show me where I am self-deceived? Reveal my heart to me. Let me see it as You see it. Show me the pride of my heart and as You do, I will repent, I will humble myself, I will agree with You and I will let You bring me to a place of humility. That's the starting place of revival.

Leslie Basham: That's Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Today's message on humility reminds me of one of Nancy's most powerful books, Brokenness. Everybody needs to read this book.

And you can get a copy by calling us at 1-800-569-5959. That's 1-800-569-5959 or log-on to ReviveOurHearts.com and look for the book Brokenness.

You can also read an article we've posted called, "Evidences of Pride." Reading it would be a great way to follow up today's message, maybe in your own quiet time. Again the Web address is ReviveOurHearts.com.

And while you're visiting ReviveOurHearts.com, please take a look at information on "Seeking Him." That's the name of our current series on the air, but it's also a movement of people who want to experience personal revival.

What happens if we say no thanks to humility? Nancy will tell us tomorrow. Please be back for Revive Our Hearts.

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss is a an outreach of Life Action Ministries.

Thank you, Susie, for preparing today's Revive Our Hearts for the Internet.

Note: Special offers available only during the broadcast of the radio series.