Equally Yoked

Series: When He Doesn't Believe: An Interview With Nancy Kennedy

Leslie Basham: Nancy Kennedy and her husband entered marriage without much thought to their spiritual lives.

Nancy Kennedy: When we were married, we were both equally yoked in faith. We were both unbelievers. We were happy pagans and then three years into the marriage God got a hold of my heart.

Leslie Basham: It's Thursday, October 2nd; and this is Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Here's Nancy.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Every month here at Revive Our Hearts we receive hundreds of e-mails from mostly women writing to share with us what God is doing in their lives.

Many of those e-mails are asking us to pray for women who are in, well, desperate circumstances. I would say that probably 80 percent of those e-mails and letters and calls we get from these women relate to their marriage.

Well, we want to try through the ministry of Revive Our Hearts to encourage and minister grace and hope and practical help from God's Word to women who are in these kinds of difficult marriage situations.

Our guest on Revive Our Hearts this week has a life message in the subject of marriage, in particular marriage to an unbeliever.

Nancy Kennedy is an author of eight or nine or more books now and has written one that I think is particularly helpful called When He Doesn't Believe. The subtitle is Help and Encouragement for Women Who Feel Alone in their Faith. Nancy, thank you for joining us this week on Revive Our Hearts.

Nancy Kennedy: Thank you, Nancy.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Well, we want to talk this week about what God has taught you through more than 25 years of marriage to a nonbeliever. Nancy let's go back to the beginning and how you first met Barry. How did he come into your life and how did the two of you get together?

Nancy Kennedy: Well, first of all it began in California. I grew up in Southern California. When I was 19, I realized I was an old maid and I needed a man and my brother had just joined the Navy.

So, a sailor sounded appealing to me and I went down to join the Navy; but the recruiter was out to lunch and the Air Force guy was in. So I sat down with him and I said: "Sign me up," and that was it.

I had plans to travel the world. But I ended up in Northern Maine at Loring Air Force Base and worked in Base Supply. My job was in the Receiving Department. I worked with paper work and Barry worked in the Receiving Department receiving equipment.

Part of his job was to come into my office once a day to hand me the receipts. He started coming in once an hour instead of once a day. I liked him and he liked me and so he asked me out on a date. But he stood me up.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Not a very great start.

Nancy Kennedy: Not a great start, but on the second date he asked me to go ice-skating. He said that he would rent me skates. He searched all over Northern Maine for size 7 ice skates to rent and he couldn't find any so he bought me a pair.

That so touched my heart because no man had ever bought me ice skates before or anything really of any sentimental value.

I saw something in him that I wanted. Basically I just wanted to get married at that time, but I liked him. So, because he bought me ice skates, I asked him to marry me. Because no woman had ever proposed to him before, I guess he assumed that he had to say yes and so he agreed. And three months later we were married.

When we were married, we were both equally yoked in faith. We were both unbelievers. We had gone to church as children but it didn't really mean anything to us or to our families. So we were happy pagans. We didn't know we needed Jesus in our lives and then three years into the marriage God got a hold of my heart.

There was a van that used to travel around the air force base belonging to a family of Christians, I'm assuming, because on the side of the van it was written "Jesus Saves." Now to me that was a foreign term.

I didn't understand what that meant. All I knew was that everywhere I went, I saw that van and that's what God used to grab a hold of my heart. And I found myself praying one night: "Jesus save me, Jesus save me," over and over. Actually it was quite troubling.

I went to work on a Monday morning and this woman named Rita who worked in my office said: "How are you?" I burst out crying and I ran into the bathroom. She ran in after me. Now Rita was a Christian but I didn't know that. I told her: "Oh, Rita, I just keep praying, 'Jesus save me, Jesus save me,' but I don't know what it means."

She pulled out of her pocket Gideon's New Testament, bright orange (Bible), and she showed me in Romans where it says: "Whoever calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved [Rom.10:13 N.K.J.V.]."

She said: "Is this what you want?"

I said: "Oh, more than anything."

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: God had been drawing your heart.

Nancy Kennedy: He had been. I remember reading a scripture shortly after that: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore with loving-kindness I have drawn You" [Jer.31:3 N.K.J.].

All my life I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be cherished. I think all women, that's what we want. We want to know we are loved and cherished.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: That's often what women are looking for in a man.

Nancy Kennedy: That's right. I was just going to say that we get married thinking that in this man we will find the satisfaction of our souls. We can't.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Even if he's a believing mate, there can't be the extent of cherishing and expression of love that the Lord wants to give to us.

Nancy Kennedy: Right. We were created to love and it's so frustrating to find yourself in a marriage where you are not receiving what you desperately want. You are also unable to give that which you desperately want to give because that belongs in our relationship with the Father.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: So you are in this restroom back on Monday morning with Rita and you have just given your heart to Christ, and this is the point at which you became a believer, is that it?

Nancy Kennedy: Absolutely, and I had one of those dramatic conversions--a 180 degree--because before that I was moody and morose and I cried a lot. I think I cried every day of my life. Just really wanting love. So I walked out of that bathroom a slap-happy, babbling fool because I had found love in the bathroom.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: And you knew it right away.

Nancy Kennedy: I knew it. I knew it and it was wonderful. It was glorious. I walked out of the bathroom and ran smack into Barry. I looked at him and I'm glowing.

I said: "Barry, you'll never guess what happened to me in there. I think it's called being born again. I'm not real sure, but I've given my life to Jesus." I'm just going on and on.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: How do you think this came across to Barry?

Nancy Kennedy: He took off running. It scared him and I took off after him. I was chasing him through the warehouse. I'm running after him and telling him: "But this is the answer. This is it. This is what I've been looking for."

I remember before that standing on the steps of our house and you know a lot of people tell the story about how they came to Christ they were down and out. I was up and out. I was counting.

I said: "You know, Barry, we have money, we have our health, we have job security, we have a beautiful child and all these things. I said, "But there's something missing." I remember asking him: "What is it?"

And he said: "I don't know, what could it be?" I didn't know that it was Jesus.

Nancy Leigh DeMoss: Nancy, tomorrow we want to pick up again with your story and hear more about how things continued to progress in your marriage with you as a new believer and your husband still as a nonbeliever.

But you know, I believe we have women listening to Revive Our Hearts who are perhaps today right where you were.

Maybe things are going well in their lives, maybe they have a husband and children and a job or maybe they are down and out and feeling hopeless and in despair. But they know deep in their heart that there is something missing, that they do not have that for which they were created--which is to be loved by God, to receive the love He has made available to us through Jesus Christ. Jesus does save.

He saves from sin, He saves from ourselves and through His death on the cross for our sins we can have eternal life. We can have that intimate relationship with God for which we were created.

I wonder if perhaps as you have been listening to Nancy and myself talk today about her story if perhaps God is not drawing your heart and saying, "Today is the day that you can put your faith in Jesus Christ."

Turn from yourself; turn from your sin and simply as an act of faith say: "Lord Jesus, I believe. I trust you to be my Savior." As that was the turning point in Nancy's life, it can be for you today.

Father, thank You for the incredible power of the Gospel. Thank You for Your grace. It's extraordinary. Thank You for reaching down to find us as sinners. Your Word says: "When we were enemies of God, when we were separated from you, when we were not looking for you, you came looking for us."

Lord, those of us who have placed our faith in You give You thanks. We are so grateful for Your saving grace.

Lord, I do just now pray for anyone who may be listening who has never come to that point. They are still the same old person and You want to make them a whole new person.

As Your Word says "A new creation" (2 Corinthians 5:17). I pray that today would be the day of repentance and faith in coming to Christ for perhaps many that are listening. Lord, we want to see You do a work of salvation in the hearts of many that You have chosen and You are drawing to Yourself today. I pray for Jesus' sake. Amen.

Leslie Basham: If you have just prayed with Nancy for the first time and have put your faith in Christ, please let us know. We would like to send you some information that will help you grown in your new-found faith.

You can write to us at Revive Our Hearts or call us at 1-800-569-5959.

One of the most important things a new believer can do is to get involved in a local church. We all need to spend time with other people being encouraged in faith. We need to hear the Word of God being taught.

October is Pastor's Appreciation Month, a time when we can encourage those who encourage us. During this time, we want to help you show appreciation to someone who sometimes is forgotten, your pastor's wife. We've put together a packet that would make a perfect gift for her.

It includes a signed copy of Nancy's book, A Place of Quiet Rest plus her CD, Psalms from the Heart. It also includes a fragrant gift candle and a set of tea bags. You'll even receive a decorative bag, tissue paper and a card so you will have everything you need to show your appreciation. It's all available for a suggested donation of $30.

To order you can call us at 1-800-569-5959.  Or go on-line to ReviveOurHearts.com.

Tomorrow we will continue to hear from Nancy Kennedy. We'll hear why she once described herself as being the most obnoxious Christian wife. We hope you can be here for Revive Our Hearts.

Revive Our Hearts with Nancy Leigh DeMoss is a ministry partnership of Life Action Ministries.

Note: Special offers available only during the broadcast of the radio series.